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Today, I decided to dress up sexy for my boyfriend. I put on cute undies and a corset because they made the most of my assets. The first thing my boyfriend said was 'the colours don't match'. FML

#6148778
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17640) - you deserved it (4737)

On 11/04/2009 at 8:53am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my dad saw on TV that in some parts of Africa, it's not uncommon for people to attach make-shift flamethrowers to their cars to defend against carjackers. He's now lost his mind and is forcing me to help him put one together to scare off Jehovah's Witnesses. FML

#20124199
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17639) - you deserved it (1992)

On 10/19/2012 at 5:39pm - misc - by Watchtower? More like fortress. (man) - Norway (Oslo)

Today, during dress rehearsal before the show, I came in with crutches pretending I broke my leg as a joke. I then threw away the crutches, laughed and then fell down some stairs. I am now in crutches with a broken leg. I was the lead. FML

#966838
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (85526)

On 04/14/2009 at 9:48am - misc - by seussical65 (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was in a public toilet, enduring an extremely awkward silence between myself and the person in the next stall. In my rush to get out of there, I managed to get my ass stuck in the toilet seat, and ended up being pulled out by the maintenance men. FML

#20177662
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17635) - you deserved it (7147)

On 11/25/2012 at 1:56am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, while at the store, I realized how socially inept I am when I said "excuse me" to a shopping cart because it was in my way. FML

Today, I was searching for a travel bag. I looked in my parents room for one. I found one alright, with all there sex toys in it. FML

#5464453
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17625) - you deserved it (5365)

On 09/25/2009 at 10:37am - intimacy - by R-R-R-Ray (man) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)

Today, I thought my house was being broken into in the dead of night. Frightened, I dismounted a floor lamp as a make-shift weapon and crept through the house, channelling my inner Ellen Ripley. It turned out to be the wireless printer with a paper jam. FML

#13847901
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (6023)

On 11/15/2010 at 12:08am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) -

Today, I was sent to a customer's house to switch out a washing machine. My boss had assured me that everything I'd need was already in the truck. Halfway there, I ran out of gas and I realized I didn't have the gas card. My boss says it's my fault. FML

#19543388
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17621) - you deserved it (6643)

On 04/28/2012 at 5:21pm - work - by wowzers0889 - United States (New York)

Today, I tripped on the way back from collecting a prize in front of 600 students and their parents. I got more applause than I did when collecting the prize. FML

#19877317
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17615) - you deserved it (1827)

On 07/01/2012 at 7:03pm - misc - by plzdontclapme -

Today, my dog overturned and ate my trash, leaving coffee grounds and dog puke all over my floor. She also ate the broom. FML

#20111523
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17613) - you deserved it (2396)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:08am - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I went to the airport for my two week trip to explore Europe. My ticket was denied and the workers turned me away. When I asked why, they told me to check the date. My ticket was for June 22nd, not July. FML

#3951293
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17612) - you deserved it (56341)

On 07/22/2009 at 12:43pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I was at a restaurant with my boyfriend. I look him straight in the eye and ask him: "What's the first thing you think about when you look at me?". His answer: "Can I finish my steak?" FML

#656
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17607) - you deserved it (6943)

On 01/01/2009 at 7:09am - love - by Undefined - Sent from mobile version

Today, I told myself: "Go on you big geek, go outside, get some sun, get your ass away from in front of your PC, go for a walk". I finally muster the courage to leave my house. Without my keys. I've been in an internet cafe for four hours. FML

#519
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17604) - you deserved it (7585)

On 12/15/2008 at 2:11am - misc - by Dr_JF - Sent from mobile version



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