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Today, I yet again heard a friend say "YOLO" as if it's a word. It was so annoying that I had to restrain myself from punching him in the face and offering him the chance to suck on one of my turds, since apparently "YOLO." FML

#19520181
234 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18225) - you deserved it (4833)

On 04/24/2012 at 12:44am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I told my daughter that she should put some love into her cooking. She started kissing the ingredients. FML

#19305380
7 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18226) - you deserved it (12705)

On 03/19/2012 at 12:59am - kids - by FoodyFood (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I fractured my finger setting up a rat trap. FML

#18360025
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18222) - you deserved it (11799)

On 11/26/2011 at 8:51pm - health - by _Oblivion_ - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my girlfriend and I were having ice cream and I jokingly asked "What's better? The sex or ice cream?" Apparently I don't pleasure her like Mint Chocolate Chip Ice Cream does. FML

#4204058
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18221) - you deserved it (43985)

On 08/01/2009 at 10:08am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I spent 6 hours on an airplane next to an alcoholic Pink Floyd fanatic. I must've drifted off because when I took a trip to the bathroom I noticed that my pant leg that had been closest to the drunk man was soaking wet. I returned to my seat. He was on his side, facing me. I smelt the wet spot. Not beer. FML

#1452
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18218) - you deserved it (1499)

On 01/17/2009 at 12:41pm - misc - by millzee - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I got married. My new husband wanted to carry me over the threshold of our apartment, but he couldn't pick me up. FML

#10922943
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18217) - you deserved it (27361)

On 06/02/2010 at 5:31pm - health - by Official_Person (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went on a first date wearing a new hair color. It was Interior Latex Slate Speckled Grey, from accidentally leaning my head against a wall while house painting earlier. FML

#10772348
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18216) - you deserved it (12391)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:18am - misc - by pandasbear - United States (California)

Today, I realized for the last year that my husband has been home from Iraq, I haven't gotten more than a few hours of sleep at night. Not because he gets nightmares, but because he now snores so loud that the pets sleep at the other end of the house to get rest. FML

#8190091
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (2692)

On 02/13/2010 at 12:23am - misc - by xetsa - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to an audition for a play. The casting director thanked me for my time, but told me they would pass because I had "the emotional range of a turnip." FML

#12812142
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (6382)

On 08/29/2010 at 10:02pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I saw my picture in an architecture magazine. I'm not an architect. I was walking up a flight of "magnificently built" stairs as my skirt lifted to show an absence of underwear. FML

#17267205
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18215) - you deserved it (34233)

On 07/26/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by crotchshothottie - United States

Today, I pulled a muscle in my arm while wiping my butt. FML

#12657778
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18214) - you deserved it (29257)

On 08/21/2010 at 2:09am - health - by clitorasaurus (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to give my boyfriend an enema. FML

#20038693
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (2425)

On 08/24/2012 at 1:21am - health - by coop7291 - United States

Today, I found a lost dog and called the owner. When he arrived, I thought it would be cute to put the dog down so he would run back into his owner's arms, like in movies. As soon as I put the dog down, it ran away again. FML

#20469405
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18213) - you deserved it (38466)

On 01/20/2013 at 11:34am - animals - by DrakeB (man) - United States (Washington)



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