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Today, my little brother went through all the artistic anatomy reference books and colored in all the nipples and penises with a bright pink sharpie. These books were from the library. FML

#18957870
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (2707)

On 01/31/2012 at 12:16am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while talking about my plans for college, I was interrupted so my family could discuss my brother's zit. FML

#13492524
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23367) - you deserved it (2882)

On 10/17/2010 at 10:54pm - misc - by kitty (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I planned to go on a date with a man I met online. He came to my apartment to pick me up, and I told him I'd be right out as I grabbed my purse. When I got outside, he was gone. FML

#19615076
148 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23368) - you deserved it (3886)

On 05/13/2012 at 2:06am - misc - by deewe (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, I was talking to my parents, when all of a sudden my dad starts freaking out and asking my mom how I got this really bad allergy on my face. My mom just laughed, and then I had to explain to him that it was just my acne. The worst part is, he was dead serious the whole time. FML

#6770677
18 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23366) - you deserved it (2100)

On 12/15/2009 at 10:34pm - misc - by allergyface (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got rear-ended. An old woman got out and came over to my car window. I thought she was coming to apologize and trade insurance companies. Instead, she poured her soda on my head, ran back into her car, and drove away. FML

#20050170
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (1470)

On 08/30/2012 at 10:47pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, at work, I misheard a customer telling me a story. To be polite, I did a slight laugh and nodded my head. She actually told me her mum had died. FML

#18021028
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23365) - you deserved it (19972)

On 10/19/2011 at 1:38am - work - by derbyboy - United Kingdom (Derby)

Today, before I went into surgery, the patient next to me just finished the same procedure I was going to get. As he woke up in the recovery area 10 feet away, I was getting my final prep before the operation. On my way into the operating room I was comforted by his screams of agonizing pain. FML

Today, I had a long conversation with my fiancé about how smoking menthol cigarettes is not a substitute for brushing your teeth. He still isn't convinced. FML

#19202074
151 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23362) - you deserved it (3240)

On 03/02/2012 at 10:54am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I couldn't find my key so I sat against the wall to wait for my roommate to get home. I fell asleep. When I woke up a few hours later, I could hear her inside. She chose not to wake me up and let me in. FML

#14057053
25 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (3889)

On 12/02/2010 at 4:24am - misc - by e (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I came home to find my drunken father sitting on our front lawn. He had a blanket, lit candle, and was singing with his eyes closed. He told me he believed he was Buddha from watching the history channel. Meanwhile, cars were driving by our house beeping, and yelling "praise the lord!" FML

#13120508
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23360) - you deserved it (2473)

On 09/19/2010 at 10:13pm - misc - by embaressed (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a text message from my boss that read, "You've been very bad. Severe punishment is in order." I'm not sure whether I should be turned on or terrified. FML

#20110308
153 comments

Today, while on the bus, I began to fall asleep. Suddenly, a man next to me started laughing very loudly, scaring me and jolting me out from my nap. I was so scared, I reflexively punched the girl in front of me in the face. I was pinned down by three other men while the cops were called. FML

#13645028
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23358) - you deserved it (9099)

On 10/30/2010 at 12:52am - misc - by snoozlagist (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

#9066532
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23356) - you deserved it (9531)

On 03/14/2010 at 3:54am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)



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