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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was headed on vacation with my family. On the way, our trailer tire blew out. Because the trailer was tilted from the flat tire, the door would not open to get the spare. After breaking the window to get the spare and putting it on, the spare blew out. FML

#19966487
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19244) - you deserved it (1614)

On 07/21/2012 at 1:26am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I untied the rope that was tied to my dog's collar because it was wrapped around the tree choking him. He immediately ran off down the street. I had to chase him barefoot in my boxers for 20 minutes till he got tired. FML

#13091874
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19245) - you deserved it (8527)

On 09/17/2010 at 10:34pm - misc - by muffins69 (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19248) - you deserved it (25374)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was sick, so I emailed my co-workers with a list of my hours, asking if anyone would be willing to cover them for me. I only got one hour covered, and that was during a day I don't even work. FML

#19026476
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19242) - you deserved it (2282)

On 02/08/2012 at 1:46pm - work - by Girl With a Cold (woman) -

Today, I was at a gas station when the cash register made a sound effect similar to one from Sonic the Hedgehog, and I pointed this out. The cashier then saw fit to go on a rant about how I need to stop focusing on video games, and get a life and a girlfriend. FML

#20006832
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (6245)

On 08/07/2012 at 12:16am - misc - by Marcowalker95 - United States (California)

Today, I sat in the train and the old lady sitting next to me stares at my face. I ask her if she is ok and she starts yelling "Willy! It's you! Where have you been all this time?". The entire train trip went like this. FML

#593
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19241) - you deserved it (1492)

On 12/25/2008 at 5:30am - misc - by LDF - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was hanging out with some of my friends when I fell asleep. When I woke up, I found that they had shaved the F word into my arm. I don't know what is more disturbing: the fact that this is what my friends do for fun, or that I have enough arm hair to have four letters shaved into it. FML

#19532931
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19240) - you deserved it (3858)

On 04/26/2012 at 4:23pm - misc - by HAIRY (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, my boyfriend came to wake me up with some flowers and breakfast in bed. We started getting intimate, after a short while, there was a knock. We looked out of the window and there was the window cleaner with his thumbs up and grinning. FML

#5754527
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19243) - you deserved it (4263)

On 10/10/2009 at 6:19am - intimacy - by Taraa3 (woman) - United Kingdom (Hartlepool)

Today, I had just had a shower, when I noticed that the mix of my shower gel and deodorant smelled like Lynx Dark Temptation. I was happy, as this is my favourite men's deodorant, until I realised I was happily sniffing my own boobs because they smelled like my ex-boyfriend. FML

Today, I had to convince my 28-year-old boyfriend to take down his booger wall. FML

#19584469
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (4696)

On 05/06/2012 at 10:03pm - misc - by fock (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I got my license. Instead of congratulating me, my buddies created a betting pool for when I get into a serious accident. Thanks for the support. FML

#19412745
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19236) - you deserved it (3301)

On 04/05/2012 at 4:07pm - misc - by anal4me (man) - United States (New York)

Today, it's my best friend's birthday. It's also the first year I've had her gift purchased, wrapped and mailed on time. The post office lost the parcel. FML

Today, I woke up on my mom's couch with a wicked hangover. I made a mad dash for the toilet but felt the wave coming after two steps. I grabbed a bag of trash next to the front door and showed it no mercy. After I'd recovered and cleaned up, Mom asked if I'd seen the bag with her tax materials. FML

#993995
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19232) - you deserved it (59838)

On 04/15/2009 at 3:47pm - health - by caramelkarma (woman) - United States (North Carolina)



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