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Today, I woke up to find that the large container of leftover beef stroganoff that I put down the garbage disposal last night had backed up into my bathtub this morning. FML

#895
20 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13238) - you deserved it (2002)

On 01/09/2009 at 6:21am - misc - by Noname - United States (California)

Today, I woke up late, didn't shave, didn't have time to iron my clothes, didn't eat breakfast, and ran into the office with beads of sweat running down my face. The meeting had been cancelled. FML

#813
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13237) - you deserved it (1677)

On 01/08/2009 at 2:42am - work - by Poopalipa - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I cried harder than I have in years. I was babysitting, and watching Pokémon to pass the time. It was the episode where Ash, Dawn, and Brock on the show went their separate ways, and may never be together again. FML

#14852501
232 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13233) - you deserved it (30064)

On 02/05/2011 at 12:22pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I decided that it would be good exercise to shovel the ice on the backyard patio. Now I can't stand up. FML

#8074615
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13232) - you deserved it (6593)

On 02/10/2010 at 12:03am - misc - by bender (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I had to give a reference for a former employee. I tried to say he was always willing to give us a hand on the job. Instead, I said he was always willing to give us hand-jobs. FML

#16448858
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13232) - you deserved it (20298)

On 06/01/2011 at 8:35am - intimacy - by Username - Canada

Today, I was waiting in a doctor's office when I was approached by an elderly woman. She told me all about the ripping of her stitches in a very private place, in exhaustive detail. Of course, today was the day my doctor chose to be an hour late. FML

#20183071
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13231) - you deserved it (822)

On 11/28/2012 at 7:57pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I started working my crappy, minimum-wage retail job at a local electronics store. An hour into my shift, my boss sent me to scrub out a discount bin, after some drunk cunt in his teens staggered into the place yelling, and puked his guts into it. What a life. FML

#20095286
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13227) - you deserved it (1740)

On 09/30/2012 at 3:00pm - work - by what the fuck, mate (man) - Australia

Today, I was singing the National Anthem at a school game and totally forgot the words. So I kept singing the same two lines over and over. FML

#18788734
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13221) - you deserved it (28022)

On 01/12/2012 at 8:07pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was babysitting. The kids were thirsty, so I poured them both a cup of the green juice I'd found in a jug in their fridge. They downed it in a flash. It wasn't until later on after I'd poured myself a cup and taken a sip, I realized I had given them margarita mix. The kids are 4 and 2. FML

#3515386
195 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13217) - you deserved it (49783)

On 07/05/2009 at 10:39pm - kids - by smth (woman) - United States (Utah)

Today, I decided to lay out and tan. I fell asleep and got sun burned and bitten numerous times by mosquitoes. If I scratch my itch, the burn hurts terribly. If I don't scratch it, it itches terribly. FML

#10772340
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13218) - you deserved it (29698)

On 05/26/2010 at 4:17am - health - by kaylajere - United States (Texas)

Today, after finishing work, my friend was having a party next door and my driveway was blocked. I parked 6 houses down and went to the party for 20mins. After coming out after 3 beers, I went to move my car back to my house and go to sleep. I got a DUI for driving 30 feet. FML

#3199012
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (45292)

On 06/25/2009 at 4:05am - misc - by Noj12345 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I started my research project on horror stories and people's fascination with them. I did some research and wound up reading H.P. Lovecraft. On the upside, I can now pee more easily. On the downside, it's likely to be in my pants. FML

#19340135
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (3481)

On 03/24/2012 at 6:05pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I took multiple pictures of my blanket and pillow pet, trying to get the "perfect pose" so I could post it on Facebook with a cheesy joke. I'm 30. FML

#20578784
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13215) - you deserved it (36662)

On 04/07/2013 at 8:07am - misc - by kimhinesvoinea - United States



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