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Today, a haunted house opened up next to my restaurant and they've gotten into the habit of scaring me as I'm cleaning up at night. They stay open for another month. FML

#20111545
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20301) - you deserved it (1861)

On 10/11/2012 at 1:28am - work - by Wolf145 - United States (California)

Today, I got drunk, broke up with my girlfriend, and sent my grandma nude pics, thinking she was my girlfriend. Well, ex-girlfriend. FML

#21241704
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20299) - you deserved it (38708)

On 08/20/2014 at 1:53pm - misc - by Kev (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I joined my school's film-making club so I could get an opportunity to act in the club president's screenplays. It turns out her idea of a tragedy is a creepy, sci-fi version of Romeo and Juliet, with elves, starring her as the perfect Mary Sue style lead character. I can't get out of this. FML

#17647973
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20298) - you deserved it (4713)

On 09/02/2011 at 9:59pm - misc - by Actor (woman) - United States (California)

Today, an attractive guy told me he wanted to get to know me and see me again. When I told my boyfriend, in hopes of stirring up some jealousy, he said "he'll regret it when he finds out what you're like in bed, trust me." FML

#14282148
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20295) - you deserved it (37907)

On 12/21/2010 at 4:38am - intimacy - by fail (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I met my cousin after two years. She got really tall and skinny, like a model. I joked saying, "You've grown and gotten slim, and I've stayed the same and have gotten fat." I expected some sort of disagreement. Instead, she looked me up and down, frowned, and gave me a long, sympathetic hug. FML

#2736188
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20294) - you deserved it (44918)

On 06/09/2009 at 4:39am - health - by fatty (woman) - Germany (Hessen)

Today, I was eating breakfast at an IHOP. As I was eating, the old man sitting directly behind me started discussing every aspect of his spastic colon, in vivid detail. FML

#14809738
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20292) - you deserved it (2612)

On 02/02/2011 at 9:30am - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I clocked into work completely exhausted despite having gone to bed early. My roommates stayed up until 4am watching a movie, blasting music, and constantly giggling like madwomen. This is their "new and improved" schedule. FML

#14578996
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20291) - you deserved it (2438)

On 01/14/2011 at 3:34pm - misc - by hoops (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I finished painting my living room. I had to leave the house in a rush. When I got home, I found smears of paint all around and the carpet crusted with paint that had dried. My cat had rubbed up against the walls and tracked it around. FML

#12501881
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (11881)

On 08/13/2010 at 3:45pm - animals - by Spelit (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, an idiot decided it would be fun to light up a firecracker in front of our house. It ended with firetrucks, a black yard, and yet somehow the weeds survived. FML

#19958598
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20290) - you deserved it (1730)

On 07/19/2012 at 11:30am - misc - by ThatGirl (woman) - United States

Today, I discovered my employer is advertising for a contractor position within my team performing basically the same role as myself. Except the pay is seven times more. FML

#8815543
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20288) - you deserved it (1645)

On 03/04/2010 at 12:30am - work - by YankeeDoodle (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I received the 'special' present my mother had sent me for my 21st birthday. I opened the box and saw that my mother had picked out, accessorized and shipped to me, in college, a doll. FML

#14740703
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20289) - you deserved it (4000)

On 01/28/2011 at 5:54am - misc - by Florida_1827 (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend had to give me an enema. FML

#14700960
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20288) - you deserved it (3817)

On 01/24/2011 at 7:30pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, while at the mall, a kid no older than 5 pushed a stroller into my heel, which caught the back of my shoe and caused me to face-plant the floor in the middle of a very crowded department store. I didn't even get an apology. FML

#19691716
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20287) - you deserved it (2012)

On 05/28/2012 at 1:01am - misc - by Anon - United States



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