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Today, my mom bitched me out, calling me a selfish pig and saying that the reason I don't have a girlfriend is because I'm so conceited. All of this because I started watching the latest episodes of Breaking Bad without her. FML

#20026224
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19864) - you deserved it (3476)

On 08/17/2012 at 10:27am - misc - by elijah (man) - United States

Today, I found out my landlord is too cheap to turn up the hot water tank enough to have a comfortable shower. There's a huge padlock on the door, she won't budge, and I'm signed in until December. FML

#17962852
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19862) - you deserved it (1942)

On 10/11/2011 at 9:05pm - misc - by frigid - (Alberta)

Today, I was sitting next to the guy I am trying to get close to while we were at the bar. Music was playing, so I thought that while his attention was diverted I would sneak out a yawn. Just as I did so, the music went silent and I let out a tremendous burp. FML

#7351489
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19861) - you deserved it (7601)

On 01/15/2010 at 12:25am - love - by beriles (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my morning sickness was so bad that I threw up everywhere, just from thinking about the pretend meal that a kid had made for me. FML

#19787882
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19860) - you deserved it (2276)

On 06/14/2012 at 4:40pm - misc - by eeeee (woman) - United States

Today, I found my missing shoe. It hit me as it fell out the tree in our front yard. FML

#18711671
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (4111)

On 01/04/2012 at 11:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I had to be treated for chemical burns, because my mother got the bright idea of using paint thinner to clean me up after I'd painted our living room. FML

#20112154
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19857) - you deserved it (2610)

On 10/11/2012 at 3:03pm - health - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got a job in my university library. My job title is technical services. My actual job is pulling off the book label for the scanner and putting a new one on. For six hours a day. FML

#13325308
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19855) - you deserved it (4119)

On 10/05/2010 at 1:16am - misc - by danrocketman - United States (Texas)

Today, at a fancy dress party, I got off with Hitler. FML

#17277146
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19854) - you deserved it (36118)

On 07/27/2011 at 3:23am - intimacy - by SallyGeen (woman) - United Kingdom (Surrey)

Today, I took my cat to the vet's. When the vet took her temperature anally, I couldn't stop laughing. The vet had to ask me to leave the room. FML

Today, I realized that over the course of this winter, there have been more snow days in Atlanta than days in which I have ever been on a date. FML

#8774355
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19847) - you deserved it (4581)

On 03/02/2010 at 3:04pm - love - by lonelyashell (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking across a pedestrian crossing and waved at the driver of the car who'd stopped, just to say thank you. She stuck her middle finger up at me. FML

#19515959
108 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19845) - you deserved it (2448)

On 04/23/2012 at 9:00am - misc - by hoggypig -

Today, I subbed for a first grade class. They were releasing butterflies. Butterflies scare me shitless. A bunch of 7 year-olds watched as I screamed hysterically when one landed on me. FML

#15661118
261 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19842) - you deserved it (32884)

On 04/06/2011 at 2:22am - animals - by mottephobe - United States (Utah)

Today, I was sleeping next to my girlfriend and I turned over to the sound of her talking in her sleep. Because it was so cute, I was happy and I smiled, until she began to talk about "Troy" and "all the nasty things you can do to me." FML

#5876173
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19841) - you deserved it (2058)

On 10/18/2009 at 8:09am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)



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