Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Choose a category

Agreed | Deserved | Commented | Favorited

Choose the period

Top of the day | Top of the week | Top of the month | All time

Today, I received a drunken prank call from a girl I didn't know around 1am. I don't know what's sadder, that I carried out the conversation for 30 minutes, or that this was the first girl to call me in over a year. FML

#20087914
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19953) - you deserved it (2466)

On 09/25/2012 at 9:38am - misc - by badluckryan - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I just pulled out of the fast food drive through, only to pull right behind a septic truck. Just as I was about to dig into my food, I noticed it had a handy window about a foot round. I had a stare-down with a turd until I could pass. FML

#14990064
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19952) - you deserved it (3529)

On 02/15/2011 at 12:13pm - misc - by Goatbeard (man) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the only way I can convince my husband to start working out is by convincing him that we are training for when the "zombie outbreak" happens. FML

#19862258
183 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19950) - you deserved it (3411)

On 06/28/2012 at 7:44pm - misc - by zombieguyswife (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, during a family dinner, my favourite underwire bra got tired of its job and tried to shish-kebab my boobs. FML

#20065022
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19943) - you deserved it (1941)

On 09/09/2012 at 5:38pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I finally noticed how lonely I am when I realized I was petting my couch while reading a book. FML

#21305429
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19939) - you deserved it (2533)

On 11/24/2014 at 9:17pm - misc - by Hammy - United States (Michigan)

Today, my study partner for my biology class didn't go to lecture. Not once has he gone to lecture. I went to almost every lecture. He got better grades than I did. FML

#2101
24 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (3269)

On 01/21/2009 at 5:36pm - misc - by noodle - United States (California)

Today, I was practicing for a choir concert that I have next week. My mom walked into my room and listened to me for a little while. After I finished the last song, she smiled, patted me on the head and said, "It's okay honey, I can't sing either." FML

#19590549
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19932) - you deserved it (2494)

On 05/08/2012 at 1:05am - misc - by Ellie (woman) - United States

Today, I fell asleep on the train, totally wiped out after last night's party, which involved lots of booze and spicy Indian food. I wake up and notice a small boy staring at me, so I smiled at him. He turned to his father and said, "Daddy, the farting man has just woken up." FML

#947
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19927) - you deserved it (7955)

On 01/10/2009 at 9:11pm - kids - by mark - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was using a restroom with automatic sinks and toilets. I assumed the paper towel dispensers were automatic too. I stood there waving my hands like an idiot before a girl walked in, pulled a lever, and made paper towels come out for me. FML

#20682540
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19926) - you deserved it (35954)

On 05/23/2013 at 8:24pm - misc - by paper towel virgin - United States (Missouri)

Today, I discovered that catching fewer mice in the traps I'd put out doesn't mean my pest problem is getting resolved. It means that rats have moved in. FML

#21305734
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19934) - you deserved it (1745)

On 11/25/2014 at 10:28am - animals - by ratqueen - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I trimmed my beard. When I showed my wife, she said, "Yeah, but you still look like a serial killer." FML

#19797072
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19923) - you deserved it (4642)

On 06/16/2012 at 2:10pm - misc - by Schaf_12 (man) - Austria (Wien)

Today, I drove into my school. Literally drove into my school. FML

#121869
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19919) - you deserved it (49212)

On 02/24/2009 at 8:43am - misc - by shilpajayseanfan (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a police officer came to talk to the kids at my workplace. He asked what they wanted to hear about first. A group of them shouted, "The donuts, tells us about the donuts." Apparently these idiots are the future of my country. FML

#19812468
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19918) - you deserved it (4406)

On 06/19/2012 at 12:08pm - kids - by Joseph N - United States



FML's blog

  • K'Naye's illustrated FML
  • Woohoo it's the weekend! Winter is all around some of us, but not in our hearts. To help fight off the cold and seasonal depression, this week we're taking a look at love and tenderness. It's what keeps…

Friday 21 November 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: