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Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML

#19587881
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24647) - you deserved it (2331)

On 05/07/2012 at 4:43pm - kids - by lon01t (woman) - United Kingdom (Falkirk)

Today, I spent some of my pay on a birthday gift for my wife. She found out about the money going missing from our account, and now she thinks I'm having an affair. I work 24/7 and barely have time to see my friends, let alone have an affair. FML

#19575026
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24646) - you deserved it (1804)

On 05/04/2012 at 10:27pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, my boyfriend of two years called me on Skype while he was taking a crap. Think it's a sign that maybe we've been dating for too long. FML

#14091257
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24645) - you deserved it (5270)

On 12/05/2010 at 1:35am - love - by fail (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, at work, a good song came on and I started dancing to it. I guess security thought my Michael Jackson crotch-grab was funny, because a printout of it is now pinned in our break room. FML

#21351356
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24644) - you deserved it (10249)

On 02/07/2015 at 4:09am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head against the wall. FML

#17877097
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24643) - you deserved it (5510)

On 10/01/2011 at 7:44am - misc - by Anonymous - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, I realized I need a new job when I had to take anti-anxiety medication before meeting with my boss. Last time we met, I had a panic attack. FML

#18570101
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (3084)

On 12/21/2011 at 1:10pm - work - by bosslady12 - United States

Today, I got an offer to study at a good university. My father has been pushing me to apply for years, so I ecstatically broke the news. Instead of congratulating me, he just grunted and delivered the more important news that he's divorcing my mum. Moment ruined. FML

#20443641
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24640) - you deserved it (1690)

On 01/05/2013 at 12:09pm - misc - by Sad nerd (woman) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I was walking to work, when I slipped and landed on my tail bone. Worse still, my hot coffee went flying into my face. I currently can't see out of my left eye. FML

#8443667
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (2173)

On 02/19/2010 at 1:44pm - health - by corleon198425 - United States

Today, my cleavage got me out of a speeding ticket. That is, until the officer looked up long enough to realize I'm a guy. FML

#21433135
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (4278)

On 06/28/2015 at 3:17am - misc - by fat and broke - United States (Washington)

Today, I lost out on a job opportunity because the interviewer said my "fake fangs are unprofessional and frankly disturbing". The "fangs" are my real canines, and they have always looked this way. FML

#21446532
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24639) - you deserved it (1533)

On 07/24/2015 at 1:24pm - work - by (-,..,-) (woman) - France

Today, it turns out that my hairy feet are the most memorable part about me. My family's named me "the hobbit". FML

#17991756
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (3990)

On 10/15/2011 at 6:12pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I bought a $450 elliptical machine to get in shape of the new year. After 5 hours of putting it together, I realized that all the ceilings in every room of my apartment are too low for me to use it without hitting my head. I can't return it. FML

#18695783
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24637) - you deserved it (9381)

On 01/03/2012 at 9:57am - health - by fatandsad (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my 10 year old brother caught me masturbating and then said "Oh, so that's how you do it!". He then ran to his room and locked the door. I inadvertently taught my little brother how to masturbate. FML

#1308807
166 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24635) - you deserved it (61893)

On 04/25/2009 at 12:13am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)



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