Work, Creepy, Make up and Intimacy: Perv

Perv

By Anonymous - 08/05/2009 14:53 - Canada

Today, while working as a makeup artist in the mall, I was approached by a man who wanted to try lipstick, which isn't unusual we do a lot of drag. While I was applying it, he started to make gross noises and, after a quick glance, I realized he had a massive erection. He then whispered, "Mmmm don't stop now." FML

I agree, your life sucks 82 738

You deserved it 4 521

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Same thing different taste

By C BOMB - 14/09/2015 23:58 - Australia - Toowong

Today, I was getting coffee when I pulled my lip balm from my pocket and started playing with it in my hands, tapping it on my face and lip. There were there two gorgeous guys in front of me who kept turning around and staring at me. I was actually holding a tampon. FML

I agree, your life sucks 17 888

You deserved it 19 350

By theunluckylifeofme - 26/06/2013 20:33 - United States - Gilroy

Today, while I was working the drive-thru, a couple came through. As I was handing back their change they began giggling. I looked down to see the man's sex-nose fully erect. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 758

You deserved it 5 104

By Anonymos_fmler - 21/10/2014 00:38 - United States - Franklin Park

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 907

You deserved it 5 293

By Anonymous - 20/05/2009 18:34 - United States

Today, my friend and I decided to wear a new red lipstick. The guy I like turned around, looked at her and said, "Red is a really interesting, sexy color. Pretty bold. Not bad." and he smiled. I waited, smiling also, only for him frown and say, "Your teeth are REALLY yellow." FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 072

You deserved it 17 582

By creepedouthostess - 17/06/2009 07:12 - United States

Today, while working in a restaurant, I took an elderly man to his table under a red colored lamp. He asked me if this was "the red light district." I thought he was just kidding until when I was placing down the menus he leaned in and whispered creepily in my ear, "You know, you're really sexy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 459

You deserved it 3 124

By forever damaged - 21/12/2015 04:24 - United States - Wallkill

Today, while I was working at a gas station, a man came up to the register with his zipper undone and his penis hanging out in full view. I had to awkwardly hand him his change while trying not to look or make eye contact. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 698

You deserved it 1 638

By sammy18f - 24/02/2015 03:46 - United States - Brentwood

Today, a man asked me for directions outside of a local store. After about five minutes into the conversation, I noticed he had whipped his penis out and was stroking it. He then asked me if I liked what I saw. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 104

You deserved it 3 780

By Mayabie - 16/10/2011 21:08 - France

Today, at my job in a cosmetics department, I was helping a customer find something to her taste. She said, "I want a lipstick like yours. Something that says, 'I'm a bitch'." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 194

You deserved it 6 396

By Job Seeking - 22/01/2013 11:14 - Australia - Melbourne

Today, I was cleaning at work when an elderly gentleman walked towards me, paused, and with a wink said, "That's what I like to see: a girl on her knees." This is the same workplace where another old man informed me that my yellow uniform made me look like a "suggestive cheesecake." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 131

You deserved it 3 004

Delusional

By why - 06/11/2020 23:01

Today, I was at work. I had a male patient expose himself to me. He then apologized and said he thought that's what I wanted. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 175

You deserved it 107

penguinz 0

Friday 8 May 2009 20:12

danggg sooo gross

maedoc 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:11

well did you finish him off at least?

Comments

penguinz 0

Friday 8 May 2009 20:12

danggg sooo gross

alleyx3 0

Monday 8 March 2010 4:12

agreed

Ambrielle 0

Friday 9 April 2010 3:07

omfg that's just NASTY! I wudve freaked!

vollyball921 0

Wednesday 21 April 2010 4:40

wut a fukin PERV

ShorTiE4LyFe 0

Thursday 1 July 2010 11:25

HOLY CRAP!!! F*** ur life!

zackk5 0

Tuesday 20 July 2010 18:41

lipstick fetish win. fafp.

isaiaha11 2

Wednesday 21 July 2010 17:08

did u havesex?

photofool 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:11

I agree, your life is f***ed!!!

FMLJFL 5

Saturday 28 July 2012 0:10

At least it was massive? Lol just kidding thats still gross..... People really should control those urges in public.

maedoc 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:11

well did you finish him off at least?

shhhitsasecret 0

Tuesday 18 May 2010 5:30

aaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!!!!!!!!!!!!

niquii 0

Monday 12 July 2010 0:12

that's wat I was going to ask lmfao

BirdieCurls 25

Thursday 10 October 2013 6:23

in which way?

daemonsparta 16

Wednesday 22 April 2015 6:31

#169 yes

TheZephyrSon 3

Friday 8 May 2009 21:12

That really sucks...

Hiimhaileypotter 52

Monday 31 December 2012 21:35

That's probably why it's on FML.

rhiley 26

Friday 12 February 2016 10:02

the sarcasm is real

Eli0 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:13

wow

shaynashakesit 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:15

Ugh, I am SO sorry. That'd be really awkward; in these situations, people need to keep their fetishes to themselves!

24788 6

Friday 8 May 2009 21:15

I'd be terrified, women should be allowed to wear mace for this reason. 1000th COMMENT!

24788 6

Friday 8 May 2009 21:15

I'd be terrified, I think women should be allowed to carry mace for this reason. 1,000th Comment!

PaperCaper 11

Sunday 1 August 2010 19:51

uh... I'm pretty sure women ARE allowed to carry mace.

karlh043 1

Thursday 22 September 2011 4:49

5secondsofvvifi 21

Saturday 13 June 2015 3:37

Women definitely are allowed to carry mace. I almost always have it with me.

betsymonty 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:17

He should have least slipped you a 20 for your trouble.

felipe87 2

Thursday 7 October 2010 5:52

I am not sure that would be legal

JenniferNThomas 14

Tuesday 20 May 2014 19:23

155. It'd be like getting a tip... A very awkward tip...

FBIWarning 0

Friday 8 May 2009 21:20

LOL "after a quick glance" G_G

Keywords

Public freakouts Health Relatable Scams Geek Music Poopoo peepee Awkward Jewelry Bikes Cops Transportation Kids Fight Family AITA Mother in law Miscellaneous Relationship advice Social Media Love Art Work Students Noise Birds Animals Sleep Mental health Medication

The Top

Today, my daughter got her first period, so I went and got some products for her, certain that I knew what was needed. The lady cashier took one look in my basket and sympathetically asked if it was my daughter's first period and if I wanted help, since I clearly had no idea what I was doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 072

You deserved it 223

Today, according to my husband of many years, he was actually planning to ghost me after our boring first date. It was only the fact that I shagged him senseless that night that kept him around long enough for us to actually get to know each other. Hooray for me being a "loose slut" back in 1998. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 139

You deserved it 561

The Top

Today, it was supposed to be payday. Instead, it was the day I found out that, for two weeks, I have been volunteering for Habitat for Humanity, and am not actually employed by a construction company. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 798

You deserved it 41 973

Today, I found out that my girlfriend chooses extra shifts at work over hanging out with me. Every time. She doesn't even like her job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 432

You deserved it 6 257

Today, my boyfriend told me that he had sex with my sister, but it's ok because I'm better in bed. He seriously doesn't understand why I dumped his sorry ass. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 957

You deserved it 2 209

Today, I'm at my mother-in-law's funeral, who died of Covid-19. Months before catching the virus, she would claim that, "the entire Covid thang is bullshit" and "people are just behaving like f****ts over a simple flu." FML

I agree, your life sucks 996

You deserved it 202

Today, I shat a magnet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 14 678

You deserved it 35 742

Today, I had to explain to my fiancé that having me watch him jerk off over a porno is not in fact considered foreplay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 46 295

You deserved it 11 977

Perv

Same thing different taste

Delusional

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