The opposite of a good idea

By gorokhan2 - 27/04/2020 17:00

Today, I wanted to prank my girlfriend by giving her a jump scare. Right before I tried to scare her in an empty parking lot, she turned towards me, pepper-sprayed me in the eyes and kicked me in the balls. When she realized it was me, she called me an asshole and dumped on the spot and drove away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 759

You deserved it 4 380

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 17/07/2011 08:43 - United States

Today, I spotted my girlfriend in a store. She didn't notice me, so I went behind her, put my hands over her eyes, and said "Guess who." I got an elbow to the groin and mace to the face. While I was rolling on the ground in pain, she simply said, "Serves you right" and walked away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 360

You deserved it 22 608

By joe - 31/01/2009 23:14 - United States

Today, my girlfriend snuck up behind me to cover my eyes and play "guess who." The second her hands touched my face, I grabbed her, twisted her wrists, and kneed her to the floor out of instinct. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 708

You deserved it 26 834

By lovehurts - 28/12/2009 20:41 - United States

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

I agree, your life sucks 18 855

You deserved it 57 631

By Anonymous - 03/12/2012 11:53 - Canada

Today, I told my girlfriend that I'm breaking up with her because she's very abusive. After a couple of seconds of awkward silence, she kicked me in the nuts and ran away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 076

You deserved it 4 184

The truth

By Iahim - 25/01/2020 14:00

Today, I tried to prank my girlfriend. I said, “I saw you kissing another guy!” She apologized. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 379

You deserved it 707

PTSD

By Anonymous - 05/10/2009 17:28 - United States

Today, I flew in to visit my long distance girlfriend. When I got out of the cab, I saw her way down the street walking the dog, so I hid behind the bushes to scare/surprise her. Mission accomplished. I just wish I hadn't bought her that pepper spray. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 475

You deserved it 45 147

By Anonymous - 23/11/2015 03:17 - Canada

Today, I drove 3 hours to surprise my girlfriend, who I hadn't seen in 3 weeks. When she opened the door, she gasped, told me to fuck off and slammed the door in my face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 785

You deserved it 2 373

By never dip the wick in crazy - 15/04/2016 19:00 - Romania

Today, after months of patiently trying to help my girlfriend deal with her anger issues, she dumped me in a blind rage for sneezing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 20 365

You deserved it 1 796

By Anonymous - 01/11/2014 18:23 - United States - Cincinnati

Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 839

You deserved it 5 514

By Anonymous - 06/09/2012 01:34 - Canada

Today, I told a girl that she had very pretty eyes. I then had to rinse pepper spray from my own. FML

I agree, your life sucks 27 924

You deserved it 2 879

Hangryko 29

Monday 27 April 2020 19:24

YDI. You're an idiot.

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 April 2020 17:12

I hope you mean "dumped ME on the spot". After learning about the old man who shaped his shit into a castle earlier, I didn't need to hear two freaky poop stories before my first cup of coffee!

Comments

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 April 2020 17:12

I hope you mean "dumped ME on the spot". After learning about the old man who shaped his shit into a castle earlier, I didn't need to hear two freaky poop stories before my first cup of coffee!

Ilmoran 20

Monday 27 April 2020 18:57

You didn't realize the phrase "scared the shit out of" could be literal?

RichardPencil 30

Monday 27 April 2020 20:09

Oh, I realized it all too well. I was just trying to squeeze it out of my brain and excrete the memory. I hope I can wipe it clean and not leave any dingleberries of the disturbing imagery.

SirSteamLocomotive 9

Monday 27 April 2020 18:59

So, maybe dumping you was extreme. Trying to scare your former GF, in a parking lot. Where REAL RAPE can occur, was not the brightest idea on your part.

ImpKit 7

Tuesday 28 April 2020 0:27

Nope. Not extreme at all. The OP demonstrated a fundamental lack of respect for her and she was prepared to make a decision in the moment that reflected this.

kfchicken 31

Tuesday 28 April 2020 5:24

yes because every boo scare is work ruining a good relationship

Hangryko 29

Monday 27 April 2020 19:24

YDI. You're an idiot.

mmdavis 8

Monday 27 April 2020 20:15

Wow yeah so funny to try and scare a girl in an environment we actively fear because that’s where we get kidnapped and raped. I’d dump someone who would pull that kinda prank too. YDI

lifeis4me 20

Monday 27 April 2020 21:35

I feel like you should know this, but I’ll say it anyway. Getting attacked in an empty parking lot is terrifying, especially for women. People are always on high alert in creepy places like that because they never know what could happen.