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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my aunt and uncle stole $584 from me, since I'm moving out. Their reasoning? I stole things. When I asked what I'd stolen, my aunt looked me straight in the eye and said "Milk Duds." FML

#17566014
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32000) - you deserved it (2916)

On 08/24/2011 at 4:03am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I applied to live in a barn. FML

#17554659
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23265) - you deserved it (7866)

On 08/23/2011 at 1:39am - money - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I wanted to show my teenage daughter what we did when I was her age. We used to breakdance, so I stuck on a Grandmaster Flash track, and tried some old moves on the living room floor. I spun out of control, smacked my head into a wall and pulled a back muscle. FML

#17516862
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11310) - you deserved it (37474)

On 08/19/2011 at 3:13am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I counted the amount of stuff that my dad had bought within a week: a brand new boat, car, and truck. He also has countless gadgets at his office, including a 60" television. Our house is literally falling apart but Mr. Midlife-crisis won't do anything to help. FML

#17498014
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29995) - you deserved it (2526)

On 08/17/2011 at 5:50am - money - by phonemenace (man) - United States (California)

Today, my Dad and I went to McDonald's, only to have him shove two handfuls of sugar packets into the bag. He said, "If it's for free, why only take one?" To make it worse, my crush was at the till, watching what was happening. FML

#17497272
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24024) - you deserved it (3345)

On 08/17/2011 at 3:14am - money - by AshamedDaughter - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, our cleaning lady's son came to our house claiming that his mother had died of a heart attack. We gave him her entire month's salary as well as some extra money. A few hours later, our cleaning lady turned up for work. Turns out she doesn't have a son. FML

#17476916
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33127) - you deserved it (20183)

On 08/15/2011 at 1:45am - money - by duped (woman) - Pakistan (Punjab)

Today, I spent $500 buying my lost cat back from a jerk who thought it was his. I get home and my mom tells me that she'd sold it to the same guy for $10 because she thought the cat was ruining my love life. FML

#17467108
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37340) - you deserved it (6035)

On 08/14/2011 at 3:16am - money - by Username - United States

Today, my car was broken into, and they stole all my CDs, but left my daughter's Black Eyed Peas CD behind. I'm pretty pissed about the theft, but almost glad to see that the delinquents in my town have a decent taste in music. FML

#17444868
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31003) - you deserved it (4100)

On 08/11/2011 at 10:30pm - money - by Musicfan - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I bought a $300 gym membership that gives me access to the company's non-premium gyms. The non-premium gyms are all closed due to construction, because they're being turned into premium gyms. FML

#17437930
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30701) - you deserved it (7303)

On 08/11/2011 at 4:17am - money - by juanjohnfml - United States (California)

Today, I got a ticket from a cop for not riding my bike in the bike lane. I wasn't riding in the bike lane because I was avoiding construction work. FML

#17428177
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32336) - you deserved it (3575)

On 08/10/2011 at 10:44am - money - by donny31459 - United States (Michigan)

Today, I held an open house. Not wanting anything to be stolen I loaded up all valuables in my car (money, prescriptions, computer, iPod, etc) and went out. My car got stolen. Nobody came to the open house. FML

#17416738
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34919) - you deserved it (11643)

On 08/09/2011 at 8:55am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States

Today, I had to pay a $150 late fee because my landlord didn't receive the rent check. My boyfriend had addressed the envelope to himself and put the landlord's as the return address. FML

#17379762
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24881) - you deserved it (3681)

On 08/05/2011 at 5:41pm - money - by sunflower226 - United States

Today, my landlord told me he is raising my rent next month. I thought he was kidding until he asked if I still wanted to live here. My landlord is also my live-in boyfriend. FML

#17370031
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28819) - you deserved it (3544)

On 08/04/2011 at 7:19pm - money - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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