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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I fell in the shower and the doors jammed shut. I was stuck in there for hours, waiting for my parents to come home. They had to open the door for me while I was still naked inside. FML

#21364892
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4332) - you deserved it (417)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:20pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my hiccups got so intense that I threw up in the middle of class. FML

#21364742
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8510) - you deserved it (616)

On 02/27/2015 at 5:23pm - misc - by pregz (woman) - United States

Today, I saw my grandma had registered on Facebook, so I wrote a welcome post on her wall. She replied "Delete." several times, then called me, accusing me of "hacking" her and demanding that I remove my name from her page at once. FML

#21364671
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8381) - you deserved it (693)

On 02/27/2015 at 3:20pm - misc - by Y_Y (man) - United States

Today, I got to see my best friend for the first time in months. Her first reaction was to say, "Wow, you gained a lot of weight." I actually lost a fair bit. FML

#21364630
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17738) - you deserved it (1367)

On 02/27/2015 at 2:14pm - misc - by boyishgirl - United States (Alaska)

Today, I won a pool game against some guy. His friends started mocking him for getting his ass whooped by a pregnant girl who couldn't even lean over the table. He got mad, swung his pool stick at them, missed, and hit me right in the face. FML

#21364532
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19497) - you deserved it (1330)

On 02/27/2015 at 10:29am - misc - by MCForty (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I met my biological parents for the first time, 29 years into my life. They turned out to be two of the most pathetic people I have ever met, and the meeting ended after they asked me to lend them money because I "literally owe them my life." FML

#21364287
127 comments

Today, the neighbors called the cops because they heard "gun shots". My girlfriend and I were popping bubble wrap. FML

#21364157
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21497) - you deserved it (1719)

On 02/26/2015 at 7:35pm - misc - by We're still popping them - United States (California)

Today, my friend was confiding all her problems to me over Skype. I pressed the mute button so I could let out a fart, forgetting I'd already muted it earlier. I broke several minutes of my own silence with a devastating wet one. Now she won't talk to me. FML

#21364034
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21499) - you deserved it (9512)

On 02/26/2015 at 4:17pm - misc - by MuteNToot (man) -

Today, I am still finding glitter in my ass crack after a concert last night that had a confetti cannon. Thanks Marilyn Manson, I feel so metal now. FML

#21363653
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23087) - you deserved it (4727)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:21pm - misc - by fredi - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it's been three days since I started working 12-hour night shifts. My neighbors have now decided to renovate their house. They're focusing on the rooms sharing my wall. FML

#21363273
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25739) - you deserved it (1818)

On 02/25/2015 at 11:53am - misc - by need sleep - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got pulled over for speaking on my phone. I accepted the fine because I was too ashamed to tell the cute officer that I was actually trying to pop a huge pimple on my cheek. FML

#21363177
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21746) - you deserved it (10067)

On 02/25/2015 at 5:33am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, I T-boned a woman who pulled out of a parking lot right in front of me. According to her, the accident was my fault because she "didn't see" me. FML

Today, I apologised to someone for my misuse of the word 'coloured' in a discussion about ethnic minority issues. They then got even more angry and said that to even quote the word in the context of an apology is evidence of my ignorance and inherent racism. FML

#21362753
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23723) - you deserved it (3850)

On 02/24/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by whiteycan'tgetitrightey - United Kingdom (Norfolk)



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Friday 27 February 2015

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