Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, after an 8-month wait, I had my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

#21461571
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2539) - you deserved it (159) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 08/27/2015 at 12:42pm - misc - by Mush - France (Languedoc-Roussillon)

Today, my slightly batshit insane grandma called me disgusting and unladylike. Why? For writing with my left hand. FML

#21461322
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2977) - you deserved it (194)

On 08/27/2015 at 12:34pm - misc - by lefthandspanker (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I was going down the elevator in my dorm and a friend joined on another floor. He then thought it was a good time to tell me that he slept with my girlfriend when the elevator got stuck. Worst 40 minutes of my life. FML

#21461236
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16392) - you deserved it (945)

On 08/27/2015 at 4:23am - misc - by smyp - Lithuania

Today, I helped an old man who fell over. Turns out he was drunk and had pissed himself. He decided to thank me with a hug. FML

#21461220
26 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13968) - you deserved it (1052)

On 08/27/2015 at 2:46am - misc - by philip708 (man) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, I was washing my face like I normally do. My mom walked by as I was wiping my face and said "That's the washcloth I use to wipe my ass!" My dad and brothers are now only addressing me as "Assface." FML

#21460902
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16186) - you deserved it (1621)

On 08/26/2015 at 9:55am - misc - by aaaaaaaaasssssssssssssss (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went on a blind date with a friend of a friend. It went okay, so we exchanged numbers. An hour later, he started messaging me, asking for pictures of my poop. What.. the... hell? FML

#21460549
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20553) - you deserved it (1397)

On 08/25/2015 at 2:31pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I shaved my pubes while staying at my senile grandma's place. I guess I didn't clean up properly, because she found some hair and insisted someone must have broken in while we were out and used the shower. I had to play along to spare myself embarrassment. FML

#21460529
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15591) - you deserved it (5547)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (East Sussex)

Today, my cousin's husband argued adamantly that the Earth doesn't rotate, and treated me like an idiot when I explained why he was wrong. Not even a video from space of the Earth rotating convinced him. This idiot is a teacher. FML

#21460521
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23485) - you deserved it (1408)

On 08/25/2015 at 1:33pm - misc - by Schizomaniac (man) - United States

Today, I took a phone call in the bathroom, since the rest of the house was too noisy. I sat down on the toilet and waited while they put me on hold. After a while, I must have forgotten the lid was down and my pants were still on, because I started peeing myself. FML

#21460430
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17083) - you deserved it (7367)

On 08/25/2015 at 6:10am - misc - by Anon - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, my dad took my phone away because I "had to be texting while driving in order to wreck my car." I was too ashamed to tell him that a huge bug flew into my face causing me to veer off the road and into a brick mailbox. FML

#21460295
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16202) - you deserved it (6350)

On 08/24/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Animeislyfe - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was flirting with a cute girl at a club. She seemed into me and said I was hot. I said thanks and grinned. I guess my grin looked psychopathic, because her expression turned to horror and she quickly excused herself. That was the only girl who's ever shown any interest in me. FML

#21460121
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19100) - you deserved it (2017)

On 08/24/2015 at 3:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying on a couch, reading, when I noticed a spindly leg poking round the corner of my book. Upon realising it was a spider, I calmly and rationally threw my book across the room, breaking the TV. FML

#21459977
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18045) - you deserved it (7861)

On 08/24/2015 at 4:46am - misc - by Annie (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had my driver's permit in an envelope to keep it safe and a letter to mail out. I drove away from the post office with the letter in my hand. FML

#21459843
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16536) - you deserved it (7341)

On 08/23/2015 at 9:40pm - misc - by JadeDemolition (woman) - United States (California)



FML's blog

  • The Best of the Worst #17
  • It's here! Yep, time once more to delve into the darkest corners of the FML postbag and check out the stuff that never would've seen the light of day, had we not had a vicious streak in our brains. It's…

Tuesday 25 August 2015

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