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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11140) - you deserved it (2234)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13094) - you deserved it (1949)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while giving directions to a blind guy, I accidentally made him walk into a wall. FML

#21261532
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15448) - you deserved it (3665)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:14pm - misc - by camerashyguy - United States (Texas)

Today, I went on Facebook, only to see my grandpa had posted "feeling horny" with my grandma. FML

#21261512
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16619) - you deserved it (1454)

On 09/19/2014 at 10:27pm - misc - by failingdaily - New Zealand (Hawke's Bay)

Today, I was hit with a sudden onset of diarrhea and had to use the washroom on the train. As soon as I pulled down my pants, my worst nightmare came true, as someone opened the door and exposed me to the other passengers. FML

Today, I found my husband in the bathtub, which was filled with blood-red water, motionless and staring blankly at the ceiling. I started screaming and crying, and he burst into laughter at his "hilarious" prank. He only seemed regretful that his video camera hadn't been recording properly. FML

#21261267
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22265) - you deserved it (2023)

On 09/19/2014 at 1:58pm - misc - by TuT (woman) - France

Today, I went with a couple of my friends to see a friend who's fallen very ill. Her dad walked in with a gun and demanded to know which of us had gotten his daughter pregnant. By the time I realized it was a joke, I'd already pissed myself. FML

#21261205
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23488) - you deserved it (2975)

On 09/19/2014 at 11:30am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, while on the bus, a friendly-looking guy smiled at me, so I smiled back. He then pointed at my teeth and said, "You gonna get those fixed, or just keep them as a conversation starter?" FML

Today, in a rush to get out of my house to go to a doctor's appointment, I closed the door behind me without having my house or car keys on me. Sadly, it took me less than a minute to break into my own house. FML

#21261117
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22935) - you deserved it (3776)

On 09/19/2014 at 4:58am - misc - by Anonymous - Belgium

Today, I had a volleyball game, and we were down by 13 points. I looked up at the crowd, and my mom was shaking her head in disappointment. When it was my turn to serve, I aced them, and tied the score. When I looked up she was gone. She'd left. When I got home, I heard how I sucked for an hour. FML

#21260940
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29814) - you deserved it (1817)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:56pm - misc - by Lexi801 - United States (Utah)

Today, I got an Economics test back from my professor. I got a 17/20. I looked it over and noticed one of the questions was completely right. I checked the textbook he made and the answer was the same. I asked him why it was wrong, and he responded with, "I guess I changed my mind." FML

#21260926
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27423) - you deserved it (1637)

On 09/18/2014 at 9:44pm - misc - by badprofessor - United States (New York)

Today, in astronomy class, a kid used Uranus in a hilarious innuendo. I was the only one who laughed. I also happen to be the teacher. FML

#21260699
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25054) - you deserved it (4134)

On 09/18/2014 at 3:20pm - misc - by immature - United Kingdom (Reading)

Today, I found out that the only girl who's ever called me cute or handsome is actually a compulsive liar. FML

#21260295
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28011) - you deserved it (2137)

On 09/17/2014 at 9:37pm - misc - by compulsiveliarssaytheylikeme - United States (Pennsylvania)



Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML

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  • Korrig'Anne's illustrated FML
  • So, have you ordered it? Have you got it? No? Yes? Do you have any idea of what I'm talking about? OK, for the normal people, I'm talking about the new iPhone 6. Apparently, it came out today. I'm not…

Friday 19 September 2014

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