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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I got in an argument with my teacher for always comparing me to my sister that she had a few years before. After I said, "I'm not my sister so please stop comparing me to her," she responded, "Of course you're not your sister, I actually like your sister." FML

#21283210
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11647) - you deserved it (1630)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:55pm - misc - by Not so much of a teachers pet - United States

Today, I discovered that if you heckle a mime, it's possible that the mime will actually kick your ass. FML

#21283193
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5088) - you deserved it (12495)

On 10/22/2014 at 4:24pm - misc - by mr_cheese (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I got my graduation photos back. I'd sent them to a friend for touching up, but unfortunately we had a major argument recently. I guess that's why in the photos I've been photoshopped out and replaced with a goat. FML

#21283103
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19173) - you deserved it (3557)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:37pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

Today, I dressed up in my nicest clothes and spent ages putting makeup on before going to a nightclub, hoping to meet someone nice. The only person who acknowledged me was a guy who yelled, "Hey, wanna fuck?! Not like anyone else would ever touch you, am I right?!" FML

#21283051
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19881) - you deserved it (2363)

On 10/22/2014 at 11:06am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
139 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21362) - you deserved it (3997)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23300) - you deserved it (2733)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11343) - you deserved it (17719)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24275) - you deserved it (2875)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16900) - you deserved it (21823)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27749) - you deserved it (5613)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29216) - you deserved it (2615)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

#21282362
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26793) - you deserved it (1968)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia



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