Today, my friend decided that we should go clubbing together to "catch up". Her version of catching up is me standing beside her making out with some random dude in the parking lot. FML

by jailey / 07/25/2016 at 10:26pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I learned that lightning and flash flooding are the best motivatiors. I learned this while on a run and 2 miles away from school. FML

Today, I was accepted to the college of my dreams. Then I checked the address. Turns out, the letter was meant for my neighbor. I was actually denied. FML

by RektForLyfe / 07/24/2016 at 11:32pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I went downstairs to get a drink and overheard my grandparents talking about me. They spent a good 15 minutes double-team attacking me for my failings as a human being, mainly me not being married with children yet. I'm barely 20. FML

by jaci / 07/24/2016 at 11:27am / United States (Florida) / Miscellaneous

Today, after a week of my new neighbor constantly yelling in his native language, I finally complained about the noise. Turns out that's just his normal talking voice. Goodbye sleep. FML

by Anonymous / 07/24/2016 at 2:40am / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, I had to listen from the next room as my dad cheated on his girlfriend with his married boss. He's 57, looks like a troll, and doesn't smell much better than one either. Meanwhile I'm 24 and couldn't get laid, much less get a date, if my life depended on it. FML

by emancipate my ass / 07/24/2016 at 12:02am / Miscellaneous

Today, I found out the friend I signed a lease with is actually a wanted drug dealer. I only found this out after the police kicked in the door at 5am and raided our house. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 11:18pm / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, during a heated argument with my son, I lost my temper and called him a son of a bitch. He enthusiastically agreed. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 7:04pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous

Today, I saw an elderly lady fall over in the street. Nobody bothered to do anything, so I went over and helped her up. Instead of thanking me, she called me a pervert and slapped me around with her cane. FML

by fuckit / 07/23/2016 at 2:52am / United States (Utah) / Miscellaneous

Today, I was heading out for my flight to Australia. I'd put a padlock on my luggage to keep my wallet and passport safe, only to realize way too late that I'd left the key at home. I couldn't get at my passport and ended up missing my flight and my whole vacation along with it. FML

by Anonymous / 07/23/2016 at 12:17am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous

Today, I woke up and found a turd casually sitting in the bathroom sink. Just 9 more months left on this lease. FML

by Anonymous / 07/22/2016 at 1:17pm / Miscellaneous

Today, I was told I'm not invited to my best friend's birthday party. Apparently, being divorced and childless doesn't "mesh" well with the rest of the group. My parents are still watching her kids so she can go away for the weekend. FML

by Foreveralone / 07/22/2016 at 4:54am / United States (Connecticut) / Miscellaneous

Today, is my one day off for the week. My mother in law is visiting, and has decided we need to rearrange my living room. FML

by tiredmomma / 07/21/2016 at 5:30pm / United States (Massachusetts) / Miscellaneous