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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I had a rough day and was extremely tired. I took a nap on the couch, and woke up to a guy robbing my house. I pretended I was still sleeping, waiting a chance to grab him or run out safely. I ended up falling back asleep. FML

#21219246
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19975) - you deserved it (9425)

On 07/24/2014 at 11:59am - misc - by FML - United States (Virginia)

Today, I found out that my boyfriend's mother still calls his ex-girlfriend her "future daughter-in-law". FML

#21218491
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24672) - you deserved it (1773)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:57pm - misc - by Rosey (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I tried fixing my dad's lawnmower after he said, "Girls can't change a lightbulb right, let alone fix a machine." An hour later, when I had the lawnmower running again, he bitched me out for trying to make him "look stupid." He's been sulking and acting pissy ever since. FML

#21218479
145 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38281) - you deserved it (3225)

On 07/23/2014 at 4:44pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I went to a bookstore to get "The Grapes of Wrath". I have a problem with controlling the volume of my voice, so once at the counter, I accidentally said quite loudly, "WHERE ARE THE ANGRY GRAPES?" FML

#21217858
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27802) - you deserved it (8956)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Face fucking palm - United States (Georgia)

Today, I got in a minor car accident because my mom had to check how many likes her last photo on Instagram had while driving. FML

#21217675
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31507) - you deserved it (2695)

On 07/22/2014 at 8:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found the iPod touch that my mother claimed was stolen at the mall a few years ago, lying on her bed, still logged in to her Facebook. Thanks, mom. FML

#21217252
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36879) - you deserved it (3056)

On 07/22/2014 at 11:54am - misc - by d4rkxf0x - United States (Texas)

Today, I discovered that the odd creaking noise I hear when I walk down the stairs is actually a crack that had been getting larger over the years. I found out when I fell through and plummeted to the stairs below. FML

#21216856
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34423) - you deserved it (4321)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:46pm - misc - by Oldhouse (man) - United States (California)

Today, I visited my dad. He gave the, "You live under my roof, you follow my rules" lecture since I didn't do my "chores". I moved out 3 years ago. FML

#21216549
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33353) - you deserved it (2700)

On 07/21/2014 at 6:14pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I went surfing, got a few rides, then realized I had my phone in my pocket. FML

#21216262
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32912) - you deserved it (20326)

On 07/21/2014 at 1:14pm - misc - by surfer - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over for speeding. The officer was nice and let me off with just a warning. That is, until my dipshit brother yelled "Fucking pig!" out the window as the officer walked back to his car. FML

#21216216
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28312) - you deserved it (19882)

On 07/21/2014 at 11:58am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I was browsing the People of Walmart site, chuckling at all the weirdos on there, when I came across a picture of my mom. FML

#21214404
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46052) - you deserved it (6314)

On 07/19/2014 at 6:38pm - misc - by Death By Parent (woman) - United States

Today, I was at the local grocery store. I've had really bad gas lately, and I accidentally let one go while standing in line. The woman behind me thought it was her kid, and smacked him for farting in public. FML

#21214127
155 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27201) - you deserved it (35637)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:39pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was at a party, and someone called the cops on us. I dove into a bush that turned out to have thorns. I got multiple cuts and a sprained wrist, and got arrested anyway. Its kind of hard to hide from the police when you're screaming in agony. FML

#21213929
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36123) - you deserved it (22397)

On 07/19/2014 at 7:35am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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