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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11269) - you deserved it (1168)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
31 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13811) - you deserved it (944)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21478) - you deserved it (2801)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23076) - you deserved it (2438)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24511) - you deserved it (11118)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24345) - you deserved it (1914)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27284) - you deserved it (2341)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, a cop car was tailing me. I was scared, and trying to avoid any tickets, I drove straight through a huge pothole rather than swerving to avoid it. The cop pulled me over and insisted I was intoxicated, because "anybody in their right mind would've dodged that pothole." FML

#21302094
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27415) - you deserved it (5490)

On 11/19/2014 at 1:44pm - misc - by limpdick9 - United States (California)

Today, I spent 20 minutes arguing with the class dipshit, trying to convince her that wifi hot-spots are not in fact saunas powered by wifi. FML

#21302021
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25772) - you deserved it (3024)

On 11/19/2014 at 10:09am - misc - by Donutsarelife - United States

Today, my self-esteem hit rock bottom when I was intimidated by a 10-year-old. I'm 23. FML

#21301556
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24575) - you deserved it (5316)

On 11/18/2014 at 6:43pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I went on a date. I took her out to an expensive steak house. When she was done eating, she got up, said she was married, and told me she only accepted the date because I'd be paying for it. FML

#21301400
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38576) - you deserved it (3272)

On 11/18/2014 at 1:57pm - misc - by steak through the heart - United States (California)

Today, in the middle of a boring class, my friend offered me some Smarties. We're not allowed to eat in class, but I had a couple anyway. As I put them in my mouth, my "friend" stood up and yelled that I was doing ecstasy. I might actually get expelled. FML

#21301367
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34613) - you deserved it (3431)

On 11/18/2014 at 12:26pm - misc - by drugsforthugs - United States (California)

Today, I told my mom that my boyfriend, who I've been living with for a year, and I were moving to another state at the end of the month. I told her in a restaurant, over lunch, where she then just got up and left me there without saying a word. FML



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