Today I was eating at KFC when my roommate unexpectedly showed up. He asked me who I was there with, and I told him I was on a sexy date with his mom. Just then a woman 5 feet away turned around and gave me a disgusted look. Guess whose mom was in town visiting for the weekend? FML
I agree, your life sucks (661) - you totally deserved it (1951)
On 11/20/2009 at 1:30pm - misc - by pchis4ever (man) - United States (Missouri)
Today, as I was yelled at by a middle school teacher in front of 30 6th graders for breaking the rule of "no cell phones in school." Luckily, I escaped being sent to the office after explaining I'm a 21 year old college student doing student teaching observations, not a middle schooler. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1996) - you totally deserved it (317)
On 11/20/2009 at 12:24pm - misc - by NotInMiddleSchool (woman) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, I dropped off a box for my sister at her job. In a rush, I unknowingly parked in a reserved spot. When I got back to my car, I saw that my car was being towed. After successfully flirting myself out of an expensive towing bill, I backed into the pole behind me, leaving a noticeable dent. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1071) - you totally deserved it (5269)
On 11/20/2009 at 11:01am - misc - by hopefulanonymous - United States (Maryland)
Today, I was walking around in Target with my friends and the guy I've liked for a long time. As we approached the patio section, I sat down on a chair only to hear a big wet watery sound. I got up and realized that I had just sat in some little kid's diarrhea. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7707) - you totally deserved it (1181)
On 11/20/2009 at 10:35am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, a McDonald's employee had to correct my math after counting out $2.37 in change. I'm in AP Calculus and am currently learning how to find the derivative of an inverse of a logarithm. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1538) - you totally deserved it (10283)
On 11/20/2009 at 2:26am - misc - by Links (man) - United States (Washington)
Today, I was driving to my new home with a lot of my belongings in the car. I could hear things shifting in the back. When I parked, I opened the door, ready to catch my vodka. I caught it- and watched my laptop slide out of the car, onto the concrete, and break into 3 pieces. FML
I agree, your life sucks (3023) - you totally deserved it (9456)
On 11/19/2009 at 5:31pm - misc - by Earths_Venus (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, as I left class I felt a tug on my rucksack from behind. Thinking it was just someone deliberately dragging me back, I struggled to let myself free and shouted "Let go!". I looked over my shoulder just to find that one the straps was trapped in the doorhandle. Everyone was in hysterics. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2967) - you totally deserved it (8445)
On 11/19/2009 at 3:06pm - misc - by betamaxjim (man) - United Kingdom (Kirklees)
Today, I was baking cookies and opened the oven door to check on them. Apparently, wearing a gold necklace means the wave of heat will burn your very fair skin. I now have a bright red ring of stars around my neck. FML
I agree, your life sucks (7543) - you totally deserved it (2134)
On 11/19/2009 at 11:41am - misc - by Sam_Licker81 (woman) - United States (Oregon)
Today, I was babysitting my nephew. He was watching the episode where Spongebob smashes his guitar while playing. I walk into the kitchen to make him a snack, and I hear a loud crash... My nephew smashing my brand new guitar to be like Spongebob. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11710) - you totally deserved it (1240)
On 11/19/2009 at 9:37am - misc - by maxus - United States (New York)
Today, I found out that if you lose contact with people in your previous school, they decide to spread rumors about you and make everyone believe that you're dead. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11028) - you totally deserved it (1247)
On 11/19/2009 at 4:03am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)
Today, I was laughing at a story of a girl who had dropped her cellphone in a hottub and ruined it. As I was feeling pretty good about myself, I then realized that my cellphone was in the pocket of a sweater that I had just thrown in the washer 20 minutes prior. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1617) - you totally deserved it (16098)
On 11/19/2009 at 2:36am - misc - by Cellphonetroubles - Canada (Alberta)
Today, after a long day of cleaning, I decided to make a grilled cheese sandwich for lunch. Reaching for what I thought was Pam I coated my bread with spray and put my sandwich in the pan. Pledge makes a great looking sandwich, but the lemony flavor tastes like crap. FML
I agree, your life sucks (2508) - you totally deserved it (10332)
On 11/19/2009 at 2:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)
Today, my dad came home from Vegas. Today, my college savings account is down $64,000. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16510) - you totally deserved it (935)
On 11/18/2009 at 10:31pm - misc - by screwed - United States (New York)
