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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I offered "Girls Gone Wild" as an example of bad TV in my lecture thinking it was a reality TV show. It's porn. FML

#21282913
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (2341) - you deserved it (1982)

On 10/22/2014 at 1:42am - misc - by wthiswrongwithme (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I lost my laptop, but I have my old childhood computer to use. It's password-protected, and the hint to the password is "meaner than Hera." I haven't been into Greek mythology since I was a kid, and if anything, this computer has just shown me how dumb I've gotten over the years. FML

#21282844
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4526) - you deserved it (825)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by HeckIfIKnow (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep on the couch. My parents didn't wake me up, went to bed and set our burglar alarm. If I trip a motion sensor, a siren will go off. The motion sensor in my living room is pointed directly at me and I have to pee. It's been 2 hours. FML

#21282761
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8015) - you deserved it (922)

On 10/21/2014 at 10:11pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (New York)

Today, I had to google the definition of transsexual just to know what the hell my friends were talking about. I need to read a book. FML

#21282666
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (4027) - you deserved it (6294)

On 10/21/2014 at 8:36pm - misc - by Awkward - United States (Maryland)

Today, I got stuck on an airplane for a while before takeoff. Someone decided it was a great time to get diarrhea while on the toilet, and we couldn't take off for safety reasons. FML

#21282479
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17388) - you deserved it (1934)

On 10/21/2014 at 4:13pm - misc - by Airplane crap - United States (Kansas)

Today, I smashed a spider with my pencil eraser. Later, I absentmindedly chewed on it while doing my homework. FML

#21282480
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12270) - you deserved it (15334)

On 10/21/2014 at 3:46pm - misc - by GetMeTheDamnBleach (woman) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I was woken up by my dog touching my foot, so I tried to push it away. Then I realized that I'd kicked my girlfriend in the face. FML

#21282367
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22984) - you deserved it (4545)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:49am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Virginia)

Today, after my dad trying every bait, hormone, and poison, the cockroaches in this apartment have gone crazy. They are trying to kill themselves. One tried to commit suicide, by suffocation, in my mouth this morning. FML

#21282365
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24216) - you deserved it (2136)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:42am - misc - by youngboob (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, my parents told me off for reading, as opposed to watching TV like the rest of the family, because it was "anti-social". FML

#21282362
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22303) - you deserved it (1637)

On 10/21/2014 at 11:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia

Today, I was shopping when a woman stopped me and asked me what lipgloss I was wearing because my lips looked gorgeous. I had to explain to her it was just the grease from the Slim Jim I had just eaten. FML

#21281977
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21693) - you deserved it (3345)

On 10/20/2014 at 8:38pm - misc - by Anonymos_fmler - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was skating in the city when I slipped and fractured my arm. As I was lying in pain, a guy walked up to me, frisked my pocket and took my wallet. He then said: "It's nothing personal." FML

#21281599
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29830) - you deserved it (2454)

On 10/20/2014 at 4:50am - misc - by ColdStones (man) - Norway (Hordaland)

Today, I found a book in my attic that I always read when I was a kid. For old times sake I read it again. On the very first page, child me had written, "Go to page 15" so I did. On page 15, in big red letters, it said, "Get bent". I got pranked by myself. FML

#21281163
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24522) - you deserved it (6275)

On 10/19/2014 at 3:27pm - misc - by Deadpool434 (man) - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, the kids on my cross country team were planning a big surprise party for one of the girls, whose birthday is in a few weeks. It's my birthday today. FML

#21281118
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26644) - you deserved it (1906)

On 10/19/2014 at 2:19pm - misc - by forgotten (woman) - United States (California)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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