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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up with a vicious hangover. It wouldn't have been so bad if I hadn't woken up to dozens of cans strewn all over the floor. I don't remember buying half the store's supply of pork and beans. FML

#21304482
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13511) - you deserved it (4645)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:22pm - misc - by college student - United States (Ohio)

Today, I have to deal with being laughed at by my mother and sister, because they keep making sharp movements towards me, causing me to flinch. This is because I got mugged and beaten last night. They think it's hysterical. FML

#21304446
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30243) - you deserved it (1776)

On 11/23/2014 at 12:10pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my grandpa came into my room and asked for a pen. As I gave it to him, he let rip the foulest fart I've ever smelled in my life, and walked out without a word. 2 hours later, the smell is not only still there, it's filled the room. Looks like I'm sleeping downstairs on the couch tonight. FML

#21304373
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20864) - you deserved it (1827)

On 11/23/2014 at 7:52am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom

Today, I spent nearly an hour helping a customer pick out an engagement ring. I rang him up, picked out a super cute box for the ring, and wished him luck. Later I realized I never put the ring inside the box. FML

#21304265
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24738) - you deserved it (11063)

On 11/23/2014 at 1:10am - misc - by KilledTheMoment - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was at a club and caught a cute guy's eye from across the bar. He smiled at me, got up and came over, then said "Oh shit! You looked way hotter from back there. Damn!" and walked away. FML

#21304109
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25352) - you deserved it (2417)

On 11/22/2014 at 8:33pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up, only to find my Xbox missing. Thankfully I have a security camera discreetly wired up in the tree on my lawn. Checking the tapes, I saw my brother park outside my house, let himself in with his spare key, then drive off with my missing equipment. FML

#21303975
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24527) - you deserved it (2017)

On 11/22/2014 at 4:08pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I was studying for my Spanish midterm nonstop. After I closed my book, I was so tired that I thought that my cat was asking me questions in Spanish. FML

#21303629
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24187) - you deserved it (2794)

On 11/21/2014 at 11:36pm - misc - by Studying is for crazy people. - United States (California)

Today, I learned that if life gives you lemons, your sister is going to squeeze them over your face while you take a nap on the couch. FML

#21303546
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23554) - you deserved it (1771)

On 11/21/2014 at 9:00pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I asked my dad if he thought my dress was nice, and if guys would go for me. He replied, "Shit, depends on how drunk they are." FML

#21303377
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28040) - you deserved it (3746)

On 11/21/2014 at 3:07pm - misc - by Veronica - United States (California)

Today, I was selling winter-themed cookies at my university. I cheerfully asked a girl if she would like to buy cookies to support peer tutoring. Her response? "I don't eat food." FML

#21303227
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27646) - you deserved it (3001)

On 11/21/2014 at 8:51am - misc - by UTRejected (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was rock climbing. I had my equipment on and I saw a really cute girl. I went for the hardest climb in the gym, and while jumping up to grab the rock, I simultaneously farted, missed the rock, fell to the mat and broke my arm in the process. FML

#21303024
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28958) - you deserved it (13508)

On 11/20/2014 at 10:25pm - misc - by AOart1st (man) - United States (California)

Today, while using a public toilet, a guy started pissing beside me at the urinal. The breach of bathroom etiquette then escalated to him taking a long look down at me and saying "Nice sack, dude." followed by him finishing up and leaving without even washing his hands. FML

#21302695
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26909) - you deserved it (2200)

On 11/20/2014 at 11:35am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I am 11 weeks pregnant and my husband has taken great glee in the fact that his horrible gas is enough to trigger my morning sickness. We're about to go on a long 12 hour drive. FML

#21302111
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28930) - you deserved it (2532)

On 11/19/2014 at 2:04pm - misc - by honeybunny - United States (Oklahoma)



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