Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, I told my step-mom that my medication is causing me to lose weight. She looked me up and down and suggested I triple my dosage. FML

#21523215
9 comments

I agree, your life sucks (784) - you deserved it (78)

On 02/05/2016 at 10:11pm - misc - by cuntingbitchofawhore - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

#21523193
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5970) - you deserved it (553)

On 02/05/2016 at 8:34pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my fiancée woke up from a nightmare where I cheated on her. She has so far successfully gotten into my personal and work e-mails, and all my social media. I'm not sure if I'm worse at picking a wife or at picking passwords. FML

#21523145
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9510) - you deserved it (1185)

On 02/05/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Alex - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I watched in horror from the other room as my boyfriend picked the biggest, slimiest booger I've ever seen, then lowered it into his mouth and licked his finger clean. I very nearly threw up. FML

#21523112
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10857) - you deserved it (1235)

On 02/05/2016 at 3:33pm - misc - by UUUGHHH (woman) - Sent from mobile version

Today, as I walked around town I noticed some guys and even a couple of girls checked me out. When I got home later I realized they probably weren't checking me out, so much as wondering why the hell I had thick black eyeliner on only one eye. Oops. FML

#21523085
27 comments

I agree, your life sucks (9125) - you deserved it (2528)

On 02/05/2016 at 2:15pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my dogs somehow pulled the water spigot off the wall in my backyard. I now have my own private lake. FML

#21523045
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12259) - you deserved it (1001)

On 02/05/2016 at 11:07am - misc - by Hreid254 - United States (Texas)

Today, as my brother parked in our hotel's parking lot, I told him to be careful because the car wasn't straight. He retorted, "Yeah, just like you". My mother was in the back seat and heard everything. I hadn't come out yet. FML

#21523010
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13593) - you deserved it (1744)

On 02/05/2016 at 7:37am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)

Today, my psycho-obsessed ex-girlfriend blabbed all about how she got a check in the mail for $1000 from CrimeStoppers on Facebook and Twitter. This explains how my current girlfriend and two of my friends all got arrested last week for having weed. FML

#21522828
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14786) - you deserved it (3502)

On 02/04/2016 at 5:55pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, Southwest officially called off the search for my lost baggage and asked me to file a claim for reimbursement. My bag had $2000 worth of dental instruments, which I won't get any compensation for since the airline doesn't take any liability for valuable items. FML

#21522618
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17634) - you deserved it (1521)

On 02/03/2016 at 11:47pm - misc - by InDebt (man) - United States (West Virginia)

Today, while I was taking a shit, a guy went into the next stall and narrated what he was doing in song. I'm still traumatized by his lyrics. FML

#21522585
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17500) - you deserved it (1350)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:13pm - misc - by Lord_Nick (man) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, while on the tram with my friend, we ended up discussing religion. When we started talking about God, some guy asked us, in a serious tone, to "stop talking about me" because it was really starting to bother him. FML

#21522467
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15822) - you deserved it (1891) - Translated from the french version of FML. Bon appétit!

On 02/03/2016 at 10:44am - misc - by DieuEstUnHomme (woman) - France (Champagne-Ardenne)

Today, my mum had no legitimate reason to have her daily yell at me, so she resorted to bitching me out for putting her phone on charge after it started beeping with a low battery warning. FML

#21522391
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18272) - you deserved it (1187)

On 02/03/2016 at 10:29am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, I was at the gym. At the end of my workout, I realised I lost the bundle of keys I had in my pocket that contained the key to my locker with all my stuff. I panic and start looking for them. After an hour of desperate searching, I find them thrown in the bottom of the public toilet. Thanks. FML

#21522144
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18073) - you deserved it (1639)

On 02/02/2016 at 3:27pm - misc - by oh, shit...... - Denmark (Hovedstaden)



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