Today, my husband left his cell phone at home. I looked through his contacts and found a person named "The Bitch." Being a very curious person, I decided to call "The Bitch" to see who it was. My phone rang. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1552) - you totally deserved it (568)
Today, my mom came up to the school to give me some money and a few water bottles for my friends and I for soccer practice. Before she left, I said "bye", then I realized my 2-year-old brother waving bye to me. So I bent down through the window to kiss him. As I did, my mom moved the car. It still hurts. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5386) - you totally deserved it (666)
On 11/07/2009 at 3:18am - misc - by SHARIFFO (man) - Palestinian Territory
Today, I got a new job. I'm 26 and I left an amazing job to move back to be around my family. I have no choice but to take this job. I will be placing my finger in a dead turkeys ass, cutting open it's stomach, and ripping out its guts. 15 per minute. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5212) - you totally deserved it (2014)
On 11/07/2009 at 3:04am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)
Today, as I was waking up, I let out a huge morning fart. When I open my eyes, I realized that I was crashing at a friends place with four other people. Yep, they all heard. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1727) - you totally deserved it (4999)
On 11/07/2009 at 2:16am - misc - by munnyfish (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I had a police officer come to my house because I've been reported missing. My friends online decided to call the police because I haven't signed in for 6 days. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6705) - you totally deserved it (1066)
On 11/07/2009 at 1:55am - misc - by iheartvodka (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I celebrated my 18th birthday. Alone. My only birthday wish came from the police officer who gave me a ticket. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6314) - you totally deserved it (576)
On 11/07/2009 at 12:24am - misc - by bdayloser (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, I arranged the food on my plate in a smiley face to try and make myself feel better. I'm a 38 year old man. It worked. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6578) - you totally deserved it (1158)
On 11/06/2009 at 7:32pm - misc - by Anon (man) - United Kingdom (Buckinghamshire)
Today, I'm a 19 year old college student in NYC, it's Friday night and I'm sitting alone on my bed in my dorm room, talking to my mother on facebook chat. Then she stopped responding. Turns out even my mother has better things to do on Friday night. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6156) - you totally deserved it (1314)
On 11/06/2009 at 7:29pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)
Today, I finally decided to get back at my roommates for eating all my food. First thing that kept disappearing was my water, so I decided to add lots of laxatives to my water this way the first person to go to the bathroom nonstop was the culprit. I forgot I had done that when I drank some myself. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1218) - you totally deserved it (8990)
On 11/06/2009 at 6:55pm - misc - by anonymous (woman) - United States (California)
Today, my younger brother decided it would be fun to slam a door on my hand while I was holding my brand new $200 cell phone that I got for my birthday. Nothing says Happy Birthday like a broken phone to go along with a broken hand. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10239) - you totally deserved it (680)
On 11/06/2009 at 5:26pm - misc - by imsad (woman) - United States (Illinois)
Today, my guidance counselor told me that I did a really good job playing someone who was really airheaded in my school's play. I wasn't trying to act like an airhead, the director told me that I got cast for the part because the character I was playing was "just like me". FML
I agree, your life sucks (7805) - you totally deserved it (2273)
On 11/06/2009 at 2:48pm - misc - by Airhead (man) - Canada (Manitoba)
Today, I overheard my best friend's wife telling their kids to pay attention in school and stay focused on their goals so they don't end up a failure in life like their father's friend, Matt. Hi, my name is Matt and I'm the friend. FML
I agree, your life sucks (10403) - you totally deserved it (2023)
On 11/06/2009 at 1:41pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Tennessee)
Today, I found out the presentation I've been looking forward to and preparing for months only has three people registered to attend. I'll be talking to an empty room for an hour. FML
I agree, your life sucks (9312) - you totally deserved it (742)
On 11/06/2009 at 10:22am - misc - by kernelkat (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
