30350322

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30350322

0Fucked!

  • Town/Country : Not specified
  • Title : Not specified
  • Birth Date : Not specified
  • <3 status : Not specified
  • Number of visits : 1039
  • Number of comments : 0
  • Number of FMLs : 0 confirmed out of 0 posted

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30350322's page activity

Visits<b>lilmisspixie</b> - the 09/24/2014 at 4:26pm<b>oh_your_god</b> - the 02/17/2014 at 1:23pm<b>brookenicolee29</b> - the 01/27/2014 at 5:46pm<b>ZY1431</b> - the 01/26/2014 at 1:23am<b>greeneyebeauty9</b> - the 12/14/2013 at 2:13am<b>DOMEinic</b> - the 11/28/2013 at 6:05pm<b>awkwardloveannie</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 9:53pm<b>srod1326</b> - the 11/18/2013 at 3:58am<b>esisuquees</b> - the 11/03/2013 at 8:47pm<b>theshug93</b> - the 10/18/2013 at 10:40am<b>jamesm_93</b> - the 10/14/2013 at 10:45pm<b>thrashhead</b> - the 10/09/2013 at 3:30am<b>HarleyBlues</b> - the 10/07/2013 at 11:09pm<b>secretagent415</b> - the 10/03/2013 at 11:54am<b>nicolemadden</b> - the 09/22/2013 at 5:50am<b>ohgeejosee</b> - the 09/15/2013 at 1:12pm<b>barak263</b> - the 07/18/2013 at 2:46pm<b>olpally</b> - the 07/13/2013 at 3:16am

30350322's FML badges

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You’ve now voted that they totally deserved it more than 100 times.

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30350322's favorite FMLs

Today, I got into a fight with my brother that somehow ended with him breaking my toe with a Fisher-Price airplane. FML

by CurseYouSonyaLee / 11/12/2013 at 10:27am / United States (Illinois) / Kids

Today, I heard crashing noises coming from my dining room. I got up to see what it was; my asshat cat was flinging himself at my chandelier. He'd figured out how to grab the ceiling fan from the other room, build momentum, and launch into my expensive chandelier. Hooray. FML

by IamAflyingCat / 10/22/2013 at 5:12am / United States / Animals

Today, my coworker convinced a little girl that teddy bears are actually the bodies of dead baby bears. I work at Build-a-Bear-Workshop, and we were working a 4-year-old's birthday party. FML

by TeddyBearKiller / 10/06/2013 at 9:11pm / United States / Kids

Today, while in class, I had to sneeze. Not wanting to make a lot of noise, I held it in, only to instead let out a huge, long fart. Everyone, including the teacher, turned and stared at me intently. FML

by Anonymous / 09/30/2013 at 12:22pm / United States (Iowa) / Miscellaneous

Today, I sent my boyfriend a text asking him to come over a little later and have some "fun" with me. He texted back, "WTF babe? Breaking Bad's on tonight. You got a dildo, fucking use it." FML

by -___- / 09/29/2013 at 3:46pm / United States (Illinois) / Intimacy

Today, I went on a blind date. He showed up in a shirt that read, "I f*ck on first dates". FML

by ughreally / 09/19/2013 at 8:20pm / United States (Minnesota) / Intimacy

Today, I found out my roommate Skypes my friends on my laptop when I'm away. Not only that, he covers his face and shows them his junk. My friends no longer answer Skype calls from me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/18/2013 at 5:47pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous

Today, I found a pamphlet for alcohol counseling on my front door today. I think it was from the guys who pick up my recycling. FML

by I get the hint / 09/18/2013 at 2:19am / Health

Today, after having recently told my 4-year-old daughter that she won't grow big and tall if she doesn't eat her veggies, she decided to pass this wisdom on to a midget that we passed in the store. FML

by Anonymous / 09/11/2013 at 2:10pm / United States (Florida) / Kids

Today, I discovered I have epilepsy. 10 years ago, I told my mother about my frequent fits of vertigo, deja vu, nausea, flashes of memory and strange sounds, smells, and images, coupled with an other-worldly feeling. I thought they were holy visions. So did she. FML

by seizure_girl / 08/15/2013 at 9:32am / United States (South Dakota) / Health

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my five-year-old daughter called the police to report her stolen nose. FML

by nosestealer / 07/07/2013 at 5:57pm / Canada (Ontario) / Kids

Today, I was singing horribly in the shower. Without me knowing, my sister recorded my singing and set it as my ringtone. My phone rang in class and everyone heard it. My new nickname is American Idol. FML

by kprince / 05/08/2013 at 10:00am / United States (California) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend of 2 weeks said that he was going to cook me dinner. After waiting for the frozen pizza that he decided to make for me to be completely cooked, he said, "Oh I hate this part", reached into the oven with his bare hands and took out the pizza, all while screaming. He is 24. FML

by Anonymous / 04/11/2013 at 11:42am / United States / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend and I were looking at engagement rings. When the store owner asked about our budget, my boyfriend said with a straight face, "Nothing too expensive, I have a big penis so I don't have to overcompensate by buying a big diamond." FML

by NewlyDread / 02/05/2013 at 9:31pm / Canada (Ontario) / Love

Today, my boyfriend decided it'd be funny to create a "place" on Facebook for my vagina. Now he "checks-in" every time we have sex. FML

by INside / 08/02/2011 at 12:52am / United States (New York) / Intimacy