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2116803's favorite FMLs
Today, I went to my crush's house. We were watching a movie when suddenly he started kissing me. As it deepened he began to feel around. He was groping my armpit the whole time but I was too embarrassed that my underarm could pass for my boobs to redirect him. FML
by armtits and big pits / 04/05/2014 at 3:14am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
Today, my girlfriend texted me, telling me to come home quickly, because she had a "surprise" waiting for me. I convinced my boss to let me go home, and rushed out. Turns out the "surprise" was just that she'd bought herself a pet bunny. FML
by Galaxy / 03/29/2014 at 1:03pm / Belgium (Limburg) / Animals
by lovely / 02/26/2014 at 1:53pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
Today, I walked into my apartment and smelled something extremely repugnant. I asked my roommate what had happened and she said, "I didn't know how else to kill it!" She'd trapped a bat that was in our apartment, put it in the oven, and set it to 400 degrees. FML
by BakedBat / 02/20/2014 at 11:10pm / United States (Minnesota) / Miscellaneous
by O_o / 02/08/2014 at 7:42pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by SirDirtyRedD / 01/24/2014 at 8:03pm / Iceland (Gullbringusysla) / Kids
by MommyProblems / 01/19/2014 at 12:17am / United States / Kids
by yes i meant ex-boyfriend / 01/18/2014 at 4:09pm / United Kingdom (Derby) / Love
by Anonymous / 01/18/2014 at 1:29am / United States (Colorado) / Miscellaneous
by gimmeafknbreak / 01/17/2014 at 6:59pm / United States (New Mexico) / Intimacy
Today, I downloaded a movie for my mom that she really likes, "When Harry Met Sally". When she loaded the file, we soon found out it was actually some kind of obscure porno billed as "When Harry Wet Sally". FML
by Anonymous / 01/05/2014 at 6:48pm / United States (Ohio) / Intimacy
Today, I woke up to every window in my house packed with snow. It was so bad that I thought I'd been snowed-in, and I started freaking out. It took two hours and multiple phone calls before I found out that my neighbor had taken our prank war too seriously and staged the whole thing. FML
by thanks.... / 01/03/2014 at 4:04pm / United States / Miscellaneous
Today, my boyfriend broke up with me two days before my birthday. Only to make it worse, I found out that he had been texting my mother on how to break up with me. To make it even worse, she was giving him tips. FML
by neta_1996 / 01/02/2014 at 9:06pm / United States (Arkansas) / Miscellaneous
Today, my strict Christian mother walked into my room just after I'd finished masturbating. Although dressed, I was still holding the used tissue, which she noticed. Having to think fast to disguise my deed and avoid an entire sermon, I had no option but to blow my nose with the spunky tissue. FML
by Jizzyface / 12/29/2013 at 7:36am / United Kingdom (Cheshire) / Intimacy
- Today, my mom had to go to one of her relatives’ funeral. She came to borrow a black scarf from me,… Today, it’s exam day in Sweden. Yesterday, I prepared three fountain pens and six cartridges. The… Today, I’m a bus driver in Paris. A guy got on with a sheep. I told him that you can’t take the bus…