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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I finished the run for a play in which I played a gay man. Now that all the performances are over, I have kissed a man more times in my life than I have kissed a woman. I'm straight. FML

#2963863
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48969) - you deserved it (9394)

On 06/17/2009 at 10:06am - love - by yashmoshin1 (man) - United States

Today, I asked out this girl I've been spending a lot of time with lately. She told me she was only hanging out with me because she thought I was gay and wouldn't try to get in her pants. FML

#2953608
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42576) - you deserved it (4281)

On 06/16/2009 at 8:59pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I stepped outside to wait for a cute guy to arrive after arduously preparing for our first date. Just as he rounded the corner, I tripped over the last stair and landed headfirst into my mom's fresh pot of snapdragons. My mom uses compost and manure for her plants. FML

#2934855
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38060) - you deserved it (4349)

On 06/16/2009 at 5:13am - love - by flowerfail (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, we had our divorce hearing and now it is final. As we were leaving the courthouse, I told my ex-wife how happy I was that we were finally free from each other. Then my junky old van wouldn't start and I had to beg her for a ride home. FML

#2929763
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13497) - you deserved it (63105)

On 06/16/2009 at 12:35am - love - by Aerostar (man) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I went on a date with this guy and he was on his phone the whole night. When I got home I checked his facebook since he barely paid attention to me. His status was, "So-and-so is taking out the trash" from mobile posted an hour ago. I got home from my date 30 mins ago. FML

#2920786
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36573) - you deserved it (3380)

On 06/15/2009 at 7:57pm - love - by skreweduP (woman) - United States

Today, I was on the phone with a prospective blind date. He asked me to describe myself so I said that I was fun, attractive and a little chubby but not fat. My 7 year old sister walked up to me and screamed "Jesus doesn't like it when we lie!". FML

#2914098
127 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49368) - you deserved it (14005)

On 06/15/2009 at 3:11pm - love - by apparentlyugly (woman) - United States

Today, my girlfriend dumped me and left me with the responsibility of the turtle that I never wanted but she insisted we buy "together." A little bit of research has revealed that Andre will live for "at least 30 years." FML

#2911637
341 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43508) - you deserved it (6617)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:17pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, after buying the plane ticket to Glendale, CA to visit 17 year old Courtney who I met on a dating website, she called me for the first time to say that she was actually 19 year old Seth from Atlanta, GA. FML

#2903114
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14403) - you deserved it (88215)

On 06/15/2009 at 1:42am - love - by gabe8 (man) - Mexico (Nuevo Leon)

Today, I finally got enough courage to ask out this girl that I've liked for a year. While we were out at lunch, she ran into her ex that she had just broken up with. They then had a long conversation about their relationship, and ended up getting back together. She was my ride home. FML

#2853561
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49274) - you deserved it (3188)

On 06/13/2009 at 8:15am - love - by e.middlechild (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, my crush came to my house to watch movies with me. We were sitting on the couch when he turned to me and said that he had had a dream about me the night before. I moved in to kiss him, thinking he liked me. He then added that I had fallen of a cliff and he had pissed himself laughing. FML

#2853235
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48689) - you deserved it (6039)

On 06/13/2009 at 7:01am - love - by Mojo_Jojo (woman) - China (Beijing)

Today, I introduced my ex-wife to my new girlfriend. They got along so well that my new girlfriend is going to my ex-wife's house tonight "just to hang out". FML

Today, for the first time in over a year, my mother actually called me. I excitedly picked up the phone. All I heard was rustling; her purse dialed me. FML

#2851443
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49646) - you deserved it (2824)

On 06/13/2009 at 3:10am - love - by slukaa (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I realized that I've been a member of eHarmony for almost a year. No one has ever contacted me out of the 134 people I've been "scientifically" matched with. FML

#2848981
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42487) - you deserved it (6715)

On 06/13/2009 at 1:17am - love - by Anon (man) - United States (Louisiana)



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