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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my cousin and I found out that when a girl puts a flower in the right side of her hair, it means she's available. The bigger the flower, the more available she is. My eleven year old boy cousin told me to "cut down a palm tree and put it in my hair". FML

#2671287
182 comments

I agree, your life sucks (65294) - you deserved it (6641)

On 06/06/2009 at 8:38pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I discovered my boyfriend of 5 months runs a website where men can submit nude or semi nude pictures of their ex's for revenge. FML

#2658374
300 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62858) - you deserved it (4997)

On 06/06/2009 at 12:01pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, I was at an awards dinner. I whispered in my wifes ear that she looked really pretty. She whispered in my ear that I should stop clapping so loud because I was embarrassing her. FML

#2654744
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40985) - you deserved it (6268)

On 06/06/2009 at 6:24am - love - by Discostu80 - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I was on a double date at a restaurant with two friends of mine and a guy I really liked. Things started getting really quiet so I decided to start talking to make things a little bit less awkward even though I was eating. I ended up spitting a piece of chicken across the table. FML

#2645641
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14448) - you deserved it (39996)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my best friend whom I have been in love with for years, called me, proposed, and confessed his love for me. He was at a noisy bar so I asked him to call me back later and we'd discuss it. He called back later, hungover, with no recollection of our conversation whatsoever. FML

#2645317
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (51273) - you deserved it (4668)

On 06/05/2009 at 10:14pm - love - by Baby_girl (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my girlfriend of 3 years broke up with me because the love advice that she gets on her cellphone every week says that I'm cheating on her. I've never cheated on her and I was planning to propose next week. FML

#2630668
468 comments

I agree, your life sucks (87287) - you deserved it (5627)

On 06/05/2009 at 1:14pm - love - by dumped (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my fiancé of two years told me he was bored of me and he'd just prolonged the engagement to see if anyone more interesting would come along in the mean time. He was upset because no one did. FML

#2595343
173 comments

I agree, your life sucks (55159) - you deserved it (3094)

On 06/04/2009 at 10:46am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I was reading through a local wedding mag's advice page. A mother-in-law to be was writing about how to handle wanting her son to break off his engagement. I thought, "Wow. That must suck. I'm glad I like my mother-in-law to be." And then I saw her name. FML

#2593216
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (68527) - you deserved it (3018)

On 06/04/2009 at 7:11am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I volunteered for a school play. During rehearsal, I was playing the part of an average housewife. The teacher asked for a volunteer to be my husband. Thirty seconds go by and no one raises their hand. The teacher ended up playing the part because no else wanted to. FML

#2589688
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16159) - you deserved it (2046)

On 06/04/2009 at 1:33am - love - by xXitslolaXX - United States (California)

Today, I meant to express to my friends that I was enamored with a young saleswoman I had encountered at a store. I wanted to tell them that she was quite petite and that I am, in general, attracted to petite women. Instead I said "You know? I like little girls." FML

#2556869
275 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18589) - you deserved it (56428)

On 06/03/2009 at 1:23am - love - by boinger (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was riding on my bike when a guy on the street shouted, "I LOVE YOU!" at me. I recently told my boyfriend I loved him, and his response was, "I don't love you but I won't treat you any differently." Perverts on the street love me, but my boyfriend doesn't. FML

#2555277
207 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48418) - you deserved it (4904)

On 06/03/2009 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was on the phone with my best guy friend, who I have loved for years. I was talking about school and all of a sudden he said "I love you." I flipped out saying "Oh my god, oh my god. I love you, too!" He responded with "what?" He was talking to his mom, who was walking out the door. FML

#2537729
404 comments

I agree, your life sucks (62529) - you deserved it (15839)

On 06/02/2009 at 4:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and parents went out to dinner. As we started the meal, my boyfriend proposed and the restaurant burst into applause. My mother said without hesitation and a large scowl, "If you say yes, I'm leaving." FML



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