Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I had a blind date. When I arrived at our meeting place, I spotted my date, because he was the only one in the bar wearing a nametag. I walked up to him and asked, "Are you John?" He responded, "That depends. Are you Jen?" When I said yes he said, "Then no," and left. FML

#7056556
118 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35144) - you deserved it (3428)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:33pm - love - by lifesux (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I logged onto Facebook and saw that I had a message from my ex boyfriend. It's only been two weeks since we broke up and I assumed he sent me a message begging for me to take him back. He wanted to apologize for sleeping with my sister last night. FML

#7050852
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34483) - you deserved it (5139)

On 12/31/2009 at 3:01am - love - by 12345678 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, the guy I've been texting told me he loved me and he couldn't wait to make me his wife, and he couldn't wait for us to have kids and grow old together. I've only known him for 3 days. FML

#7047511
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28033) - you deserved it (4479)

On 12/31/2009 at 12:23am - love - by Anonymous. - United States

Today, I was making out with a really hot guy in a Jacuzzi. He had the biggest booger hanging out of his nostril, but I was too embarrassed to say anything to him about it. He went in for a kiss. Soon after our lips parted, he said, "Oh, you have big booger." FML

#7044957
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10306) - you deserved it (31493)

On 12/30/2009 at 10:28pm - love - by Jennyfromdablock (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I went to egg my ex-boyfriend's house, after finding out he cheated on me. I covered his house and car with eggs, toilet paper, and silly string. When I went to get back in my car, my keys were locked inside, the alarm went off, and my ex walked outside, with his new girlfriend. FML

#7040883
185 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10972) - you deserved it (51220)

On 12/30/2009 at 7:03pm - love - by BrutallyBlonde (woman) - United States (California)

Today, the instructions on my new IKEA bed made me cry. It includes a picture of a person working alone with a frown crossed out and is replaced by two smiling people working together. I have no one in my life to help me. FML

#7036461
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39136) - you deserved it (4436)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:07pm - love - by hatelife (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I realized the closest thing I have to guys hitting on me are the ones who ask to be my friend on Call of Duty because I have the word "girl" in my name. FML

#7035210
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27062) - you deserved it (6497)

On 12/30/2009 at 12:47pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my husband left me for one of the college students I was tutoring in Spanish. We have two kids and are expecting a third. He left a note that said he would "stay in touch." FML

#7028465
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40930) - you deserved it (2380)

On 12/30/2009 at 2:03am - love - by Leslie (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I told my mom I was going on a date tonight. She laughed and didn't believe me. When I tried to convince her it was real, she got mad and grounded me for lying. I had to cancel the date. FML

#7014682
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37173) - you deserved it (3424)

On 12/29/2009 at 1:50pm - love - by Grounded (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my boyfriend called me 80 times in 5 minutes. I had previously told him I was with my friends. He left me a voicemail proposing saying he loved me to death and he was crying. We've been dating for a week. FML

#6999302
215 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38918) - you deserved it (4475)

On 12/28/2009 at 8:21pm - love - by anonymous (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I was talking to the guy that has been in love with me for two years. He said "There is a shortage of perfect breasts in the world. It would be a shame to lose yours." He then creepily looked at me and said "It's true." Thanks, Princess Bride, for supplying creepers with material. FML

#6998674
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22703) - you deserved it (4120)

On 12/28/2009 at 7:50pm - love - by creeped (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, after breaking up with my girlfriend of two years over the phone, I recieved a knock on my door. It was my now ex-girlfriend who came to seek revenge by shooting me in the balls with a paintball gun at about a three foot range. FML

#6994925
288 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16249) - you deserved it (52208)

On 12/28/2009 at 3:41pm - love - by lovehurts (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I like was panicking because her car broke down, so I offered her a lift to wherever she needed to be. I drove her to her boyfriend's house. She asked me to drive her home in the morning. FML

#6992183
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28919) - you deserved it (6544)

On 12/28/2009 at 12:17pm - love - by syco (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)



FML's blog

  • JT's illustrated FML
  • Hello everybody, how's it going? This week we're looking at the delicate art of getting along with your neighbours. If you've ever lived in an apartment building, you'll know that having people live…

Friday 22 May 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: