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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend's mother called me to tell me she didn't appreciate our "public amorous behaviour" at the local food court. I didn't go out all day. FML

#5772625
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34416) - you deserved it (1999)

On 10/11/2009 at 6:54am - love - by noo (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my boyfriend left for a month-long trip with his buddies. I stood near the door waiting for a goodbye kiss. He kissed his xbox goodbye instead. FML

#5759399
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35589) - you deserved it (5247)

On 10/10/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by kissless (woman) - United States (Maine)

Today, I took a girl out I've been seeing for two months on our first real date. I had saved all my money for the week for this. I took her to a beautiful restaurant uptown. She got hammered, hit me and screamed that I would never be as good as "Marshall." FML

#5758524
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38785) - you deserved it (2839)

On 10/10/2009 at 2:06pm - love - by pistonsunshine (man) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I finally plucked up the courage to propose to my girlfriend of 7 months. I took her out to the park where we had our first kiss, I got down on one knee, and before I could say "Will you marry me" a bird shat on my head. FML

#5755233
226 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43216) - you deserved it (6358)

On 10/10/2009 at 8:52am - love - by -bird-poop- (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, my ex said "I love you!" for the first time at a party in front of my boyfriend. Smugly satisfied, I said "Well, you're too late for that." My ex looked at me with irritation and said "I'm talking to him!" and gestured to my boyfriend. They'd been "best friends" since middle school. FML

#5751188
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13937) - you deserved it (31481)

On 10/10/2009 at 12:25am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I snuck into my boyfriend's house because I knew his parents wouldn't be there. Later, I woke up in a hospital bed because his sister thought I was a burglar and tased me. FML

#5738232
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11014) - you deserved it (38090)

On 10/09/2009 at 11:05am - love - by TasedAndDazed (woman) - United States (Arizona)

Today, three months after finally ending a long relationship with the love of my life because he was cheating on me, we are now seeing each other again. And cheating on our new significant others with each other. FML

#5735041
208 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6252) - you deserved it (76747)

On 10/09/2009 at 2:41am - love - by oliviakelly25 (woman) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my boyfriend bought me a beautiful pair of very expensive diamond earrings, along with a card that read, "To my beautiful brown eyed Princess." My ears aren't pierced, and my eyes are green. FML

#5733211
147 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39518) - you deserved it (3548)

On 10/09/2009 at 12:22am - love - by rhythmbandit (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my final divorce proceeding. The judge denied my divorce because my husband is unemployed. I can't get a divorce until he gets a job to pay child support. He hasn't had a job for 3 years. FML

#5730888
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38582) - you deserved it (3348)

On 10/08/2009 at 10:26pm - love - by branwen5 - United States

Today, my boyfriend asked me out to dinner, which we never do. While at the restaurant he gets down on his knees, looks me in the eyes, and pulls out a little box. He opens it and inside is a note that says 'We're Done.' He then leaves me at the restaurant with the bill and the $2.00 box. FML

#5721676
233 comments

I agree, your life sucks (74917) - you deserved it (5492)

On 10/08/2009 at 3:04pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, while working on my girlfriend of three years' computer I found a file called 'My future wedding'. I assumed it was very old and decided to look through it. Of the list of 5 potential grooms I was not one of them. This didn't bother me until I saw that it had last been edited two days ago. FML

#5721325
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38014) - you deserved it (3927)

On 10/08/2009 at 1:31pm - love - by Rage (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, completely excited, I told my mom about this guy from high school, that I had really liked and who had found me on Facebook. He said he regretted not asking me out in high school and offered to fly me out to visit him. Her response? "Has he seen what you look like now?" FML

#5706276
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37071) - you deserved it (3869)

On 10/07/2009 at 5:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States



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