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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, the girl I've been dating asked me to describe her body. I said "Thin an toned but curvy in all the right places." I then asked her the same question to which she replied, "I don't know, you know I'm always drunk when we're together." FML

#7667037
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27627) - you deserved it (4197)

On 01/29/2010 at 3:43am - love - by pugs - Sent from mobile version

Today, my fiancé told me he didn't have the money to make payments on my engagement ring and that I either have to return it, or make the payments myself. Now we aren't engaged any more, and are "dating." FML

#7657890
196 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27519) - you deserved it (4022)

On 01/28/2010 at 10:32pm - love - by oregongrl1991 - Sent from mobile version

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a make-out session in the backseat of his car, when we heard a voice coming from his pants. Who did he pocket dial? My house. At midnight, when I was supposed to be home. FML

#7644201
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10312) - you deserved it (31688)

On 01/28/2010 at 3:21pm - love - by Whoops - Sent from mobile version

Today, my best friend became my ex-best friend. I have finally gotten over the guy she stole from me a year ago and have developed a crush on another guy. My best friend called me today to tell me that she broke up with the first guy and is now going out with my current crush. FML

#7641681
214 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34875) - you deserved it (4387)

On 01/28/2010 at 12:27pm - love - by Cheater_Cheater_Pumpkin_Eater - United States (Michigan)

Today, I went out on a date with a guy significantly older than myself. I told him I really liked him because I can have an intelligent conversation with him, unlike most guys my age. He told me he just wanted to get into my pants. FML

#7638803
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27489) - you deserved it (9771)

On 01/28/2010 at 8:59am - love - by thisucks (woman) - Canada (Newfoundland and Labrador)

Today, I asked my boyfriend advice on apartment hunting - as we were planning to move in with each other. He told me that there is no way he can afford to move out of his parents' house anytime soon. He can, however, afford a collection of belt-fed automatic nerf guns. FML

Today, my boyfriend's ex-wife facebooked me to inform me that they were still married and he was still sleeping with her. I've been living with him for the past month. FML

#7605388
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30088) - you deserved it (3829)

On 01/27/2010 at 1:18am - love - by LivingInSin (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, some girl from Colorado called me. She knew my name. My Facebook. I had no idea how she got my number. She then asks me out. I say "sure" sarcastically. She then calls my girlfriend, who also lives in Colorado. Our relationship is now over. FML

#7598388
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10979) - you deserved it (33696)

On 01/26/2010 at 9:12pm - love - by Aaron (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I went on a date with the hottest guy I've ever met. He is also rich and successful, and would probably be perfect for me, if only he could stop bragging about it. FML

#7586037
201 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27235) - you deserved it (13084)

On 01/26/2010 at 6:30am - love - by OTZ - Sent from mobile version

Today, my girlfriend broke up with me because of my dad constantly hitting on her. Not because she was disgusted, but because she wants to date him. FML

#7584651
167 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50821) - you deserved it (2589)

On 01/26/2010 at 2:35am - love - by Junior (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got a message from my ex saying how sorry he was for everything he did. He also said that if he wasn't getting married and having a kid we could still be together. We broke up a year ago. FML

#7584201
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23638) - you deserved it (2226)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:56am - love - by nubbins (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, my mother urged me to "get over this lesbian thing and give me some grandkids." In front of my girlfriend of eleven months. FML

#7583250
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38011) - you deserved it (12189)

On 01/26/2010 at 1:05am - love - by Eagle (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML

#7565931
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11625) - you deserved it (33936)

On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)



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