Today, my girlfriend of three weeks basically threatened to kill herself if I don't start thinking about having a child with her soon. FML
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Same thing different taste
Today, my girlfriend of 3 weeks gave me an ultimatum: marry her, or she kills herself. FML
Today, I found out that my girlfriend of one week is suicidal and crazy about me. She showed me that she'd carved her old boyfriend's name in her arm, and she threatened suicide if I ever left her. FML
Today, I caught my girlfriend cheating on me. Now she's threatening to kill herself if I don't forgive her. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for less than a week started raging and ended up threatening me with a knife, after I shot down her idea of getting married next month. FML
Awks
Today, my girlfriend's mom pulled me aside and started telling me about how her daughter was extremely depressed and suicidal before she met me, and how happy her family is because of me. I was planning on breaking up with her within the next week. FML
Rollercoaster
Today, my girlfriend blew up at me for a comment I had made several weeks ago about not wanting kids. Then, she told me that she's pregnant. After consoling her and telling her that whatever we do, we'll do it together, she further explained that she's not sure if it's mine. FML
Today, the girl I've been seeing for just over a week casually let me know that she'll slash her wrists if I ever leave her. FML
Flip-flopping
Today, my girlfriend, who I've been living with for the last month, told me she's not attracted to me and wants to see other people. She told me this after months of dating and telling me she was thinking about having a child with me. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me that she wants to marry me and have my children. I’m 15. We've been dating for 3 weeks. FML
Extreme response
Today, my girlfriend told me that our relationship and economic situation is stressing her out so much that she’d rather end her life or marry a rich dude. FML
Top comments
mkymouse90 17
3 weeks you better run she's crazy!
jnanderson 16
Tell her you're sterile
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Comments (270)
mkymouse90 17
3 weeks you better run she's crazy!
killinpoptarts 9
I don't think OP can run far enough
IceKelp 4
Well that escalated quickly
littlem91 29
Running may not be enough, if he was relying on her to manage birth control.
applebramble 22
Maybe she's already pregnant but hasn't spilled the beans yet (?) Maybe she asked OP if he would ever have a baby with her in the near/far future or whatever to see what his answer would be . A "no" or even "I don't know" probably ticked her off a little now that she's ****** and doesn't know what to do so she decides to go for Plan B; the suicide note... I could be wrong but anything is possible . Or she's a crazy psycho...
junkman6 22
#46 I'm not seeing much difference between the situation you described and how you ended your comment. She's a psycho.
blinked_281 29
People who say stuff like that are always bluffing. Just leave her. I highly doubt she'll do anything.
kumarina 35
Run Forest! RUN!!!
ChevyRedneck85 13
I say call her bluff
Wakachulak 22
Why bother? Looks like she will take care of the problem herself.
Van_Dalsen 1
That depends, just how hot is she?
strike2867 13
I like how you mention the three weeks part, as if after a certain period of time that's acceptable.
NoMore_CoolNames 14
"Run away from me baby...run away, its about to get crazy, just run away"
Chorizo606 9
If she truly is serious he should take her out for a 'romantic' night and drop her off at a psychiatric facility.
applebramble 22
#61 sometimes people can agree and add other opinions (:
samquenda 8
Comment moderated for rule-breaking.
Maybe you should have a long chat with her. You both need to be ready and committed before having a child
SgtAssCheeks 21
The point isnt about OP and her gf having a child. the point is that she's a ******* psycho.
Rizzen 27
well said sgtasscheeks
applebramble 22
#14, maybe #2 was just saying how OP should explain to his (crazy) girlfriend about how serious having a baby is and how BOTH parents have to be ready and committed . Having a long talk with her about it doesn't necessarily mean he is going to agree with her at any point .
SgtAssCheeks 21
Of course he doesn't agree, or else this FML wouldn't br here. There is no explaining. It goes like "Hey I just met you, and this is crazy. I pierced your condoms, so have my baby!"
VampOfSavannah 31
57, like a boss lmao
dachayke 16
This is why you're my favorite FML-er, 57.
alphabetta 23
W
alphabetta 23
Agh I didn't mean to post that and the app crashed right after I did so I can't edit it T__T
GEBEH 14
#51 maybe #2 just have an easier time seeing this through op's girlfriends eyes!
TheLittleBear 19
57, that made my morning.
shh_imbatmannnn 13
Maybe she is op's girlfriend :P
Fr0gs 15
Sgtasscheeks spittin some good shit
applebramble 22
#158 or she's just being a little sensitive and is probably having a child so she's being a little supportive about it . I don't support OP's girlfriend at all , like I've stated , she's a psycho bitch . I thought #2 was just being very thoughtful but didn't read the FML properly .
applebramble 22
And #57 , I truly apologise , I only just woke up when I responded to your comment and I forgot to add that the "talk" would have ended with "I'm dumping your crazy ass".
tuxedoandex 28
"I pierced your condoms, so have my baby" That seems out of order
NinjaFood 13
Ouch. Maybe it's best to ease away from this relationship... Unless she's joking, but since this is an FM I'm assuming it isn't a joke
ninjuh_wingman 29
I wouldn't care if she WAS joking. If you joke that you'll kill yourself if you don't get kids three weeks into the relationship, I'm leaving your crazy ass.
Hiimhaileypotter 52
She's probably just trying to get attention. OP, call her on her bluff and RUN! If you're really concerned about her, though, get proof of what she's said (texts, emails, notes?) and show an adult in her life. But it is not your responsibility to be her therapist..which she most certainly needs! Someone who is really suicidal generally won't use it as a tactic like that.
SillyGirl4602 23
Even if she was joking op should still dump her. Threatening suicide is ******* crazy. Op, you should get out of the relationship as fast as you can. If she is acting like this after three weeks just imagine how she'd be acting a year from now. Best of luck.
littlem91 29
Maybe it's reverse psychology; OP is a nutjob and she wants out and has realised the best option (because he's a nutjob) is to out-psycho him, forcing him to dump her. An unlikely theory, but not impossible.
plupper22 5
Run away!! Run far away!
noreia 14
yeah I second that OP... run... fast... far... right now... unless you wanna pay for the rest of your life for a kid and that psycho bitch of course...
jnanderson 16
Tell her you're sterile
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
Then why have they been using birth control? ;)
myeviltwin 20
Exactly. Tell her you are sterile and understand her desire for a child. But since you are unable to provide her with one you agree to step aside and let her find someone who can give her what she wants.
just_jess7 13
STDs? they've only been dating three weeks - no way I'd be risking sex without a condom.
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
All you have to do is get tested, I know it didn't say it in the FML but since she isn't already pregnant it makes sense that's the reason he'd want to use bc. Nvm it's too hard to converse over text... I had a feeling that last post wasn't going to make sense.
VioletSkies 21
Am I missing something? Where does it say they're having sex already? You can talk about having kids before you have sex with someone
TheOnlyMizLiv 22
I guess it's possible they haven't gotten there yet. I was picturing a poking a hole in the condom situation. ****, sorry.
chocolatefrog28 29
Compromise, get her a pet fish and see if that takes the heat off you for a while. Good luck, OP!
astrogirl_fml 7
Cats tend to work better.
smokecloud_ 37
No, then she'll turn into a crazy cat lady and start chasing OP around throwing cats in his face. Don't let her become a crazy cat lady and throw cats in your face, OP.
astrogirl_fml 7
Nah it will just make it easier for her if or when he leaves her
cryssycakesx3 22
nah, then she'll have a cat that reminds her of him.
Goblin182 26
Seriously #7? 3 weeks into a relationship she is talking kids or sucide and you suggets compromise? Oh hell no, he needs to get far far away from this bag of crazy.
astrogirl_fml 7
#162 by the sounds of it, she is probably obsessive about him, and would be one of those to have a shrine of his photos in her closest. So I think the cat would be the least of the problems. She sounds like the type who will either try to get herself pregnant with his kid or stalk him if he leaves.
ekwinoks 5
Dosent sound like this should continue to week four
chocolatefrog28 29
#6, and if someone is that bonkers, do you think giving an ultimatum or a flat out "no" is going to go over well? NOPE. You have to navigate those waters with tact and caution, pumpkin.
laden_swallow09 34
Then OP should sleep with a gun under his pillow. Of course it's not going to over well, no matter what diplomatic tactics he uses. The fact of the matter is that she's clearly unstable, and not in any position to have a serious relationship, let alone be allowed to have a child or anywhere near one.
jazzy_123 20
That right there is the first and last clue you need to know you need to get the hell out of there! Good luck OP.
NoNamesFree 8
Get out. Now.
Rianokami 22
Time to call the men in white coats.
sparkrok 8
They're coming to take me away, Haha!
favorite_sweater 6
Nah. The MiB. We got some crazy shit here