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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24231) - you deserved it (2664)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31697) - you deserved it (3194)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33586) - you deserved it (2868)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30329) - you deserved it (6249)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29493) - you deserved it (2923)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34998) - you deserved it (5701)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31931) - you deserved it (4802)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)

Today, my father described me as "the sort of sucker women marry then cheat on all the time." My mother agreed with him. FML

#21279077
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31491) - you deserved it (2934)

On 10/16/2014 at 1:07pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, my boyfriend told me that he'd feel like a failure if he went to community college. I'm planning to go to community college next year. FML

#21277941
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31248) - you deserved it (4141)

On 10/14/2014 at 9:06pm - love - by failure - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend decided he's asexual and dumped me on the spot. FML

#21276883
161 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35409) - you deserved it (4029)

On 10/13/2014 at 1:03pm - love - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I got married. It was a beautiful ceremony with all of our family and friends. Too bad it ended with us leaving the reception before dancing even started, since my groom couldn't stop bawling his eyes out from all the stress. FML



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