Today, my wife suddenly texted me to meet her halfway beetween our house and the supermarket. I immediately put my shoes on and started walking eager to get to her as fast as I could to surprise her. Turns out she was carrying three heavy bags and yelled at me for being slow and by foot. FML

by neverunderstood / 12/02/2016 at 7:39am / Italy (Emilia-Romagna) / Love

Today, my boyfriend told me, with complete confidence, that he's selected "drug dealer" as his career of choice. FML

by drugdealersgf / 12/02/2016 at 1:55am / Love

Today, the girl I've liked for over a year, broke up with me after just 2 weeks of dating, all because I'm a better pianist then her. I've been playing since I was 8. She's been playing for 6 months. FML

by betterpianist / 11/29/2016 at 4:04pm / United States / Love

Today, my ex-girlfriend called saying she wants to get back together because of how mature and sincere I sounded last night. I despise her and I was drunk last night. FML

by dukemisery / 11/28/2016 at 7:23am / Hong Kong / Love

Today, after three years of dating, my boyfriend finally proposed. To my best friend. FML

by neverdatingagain / 11/27/2016 at 5:07pm / United States (Oregon) / Love

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to be responsible and put parental controls on the Playstation so our kids can't play adult games or watch adult content online. And now, neither can we. FML

by Stigmamma / 11/27/2016 at 3:54am / Love

Today, my boyfriend informed me that he was a breech baby, which according to him meant that he born out of his mum's butthole. FML

by BreechInEducation / 11/27/2016 at 1:55am / Love

Today, my girlfriend dumped me while taking a walk through a park at night. After that, I had to escort her home as she has an eye condition, and is almost completely blind when dark. FML

Today, I got to meet the guy that I have been talking to over a dating website. We were having a great time, at least until I managed to randomly fall asleep in front of him. I spent the rest of the day sending text messages trying to explain to him that I suffer from narcolepsy. FML

by Anonymous / 11/25/2016 at 3:43am / Love

Today, I spoke with my boyfriend about where we want to live when I graduate. He says he doesn't know what he wants and his mother wouldn't approve of us living together. We've been together 3 years with the understanding we would live together once I graduated my Master's. FML

by committedandalone / 11/24/2016 at 9:45am / Love

Today, my fiancé broke it off with me on our 3-year anniversary at 12:01 a.m. on Thanksgiving morning. Guess who gets to go to family gatherings where everyone will be asking where he is. FML

by Lysh / 11/24/2016 at 12:38am / Love

Today, I spent the busiest travel day of the year in the busiest airport in the world trapped between the decision to leave the terminal bathroom or shit my pants. Yes, I missed my flight. Sorry, mom. FML

by foodsicknessinATL / 11/23/2016 at 7:08pm / United States (Georgia) / Love

Today, I got engaged. I called my mom and told her. "You didn't say yes, did you?" she said. Afterwards, I told my dad. "Uh, Congratulations. But, I have questions." Thanks guys. FML

by porcelainleigh / 11/23/2016 at 2:41pm / United States / Love