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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my wife got a new best-friend. It's my ex-wife. FML

#21283962
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14317) - you deserved it (1264)

On 10/23/2014 at 7:30pm - love - by max - United States (Florida)

Today, my younger brother helpfully pointed out that I'm the only one in my family of five who is single. He's twelve. FML

#21283583
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23971) - you deserved it (2197)

On 10/23/2014 at 1:18am - love - by 20singleandproudish (woman) - Canada (Saskatchewan)

Today, I was passing notes in class with my crush. I started to pour my heart out and tell him about how I've liked him for years. I was caught by the teacher. He looked at it, laughed, and tore it up. He then looked at me and said, "I just saved you from years of embarrassment. You're welcome." FML

#21283544
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25748) - you deserved it (6756)

On 10/23/2014 at 12:04am - love - by Rachel - United States (Ohio)

Today, I had sex for the first time with my first boyfriend. We broke up 6 years ago. FML

Today, my sister ended her long and extremely annoying crush on Justin Bieber. I can only hope one day my girlfriend will end hers too. FML

#21282066
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27232) - you deserved it (2988)

On 10/20/2014 at 10:29pm - love - by DanTheMan (man) -

Today, I came out as bisexual to my friends via group message. They didn't respond; I had a panic attack. An hour later, one of my friends texted back, "k". FML

Today, as my boyfriend left my house, I gave him a long, tight hug. So tight that he threw up. FML

Today, I tried to propose to my girlfriend, but I was so nervous that I had a panic attack, fainted and split my head open. My girlfriend then fainted at the sight of the blood. An onlooker had to call an ambulance for both of us. FML

#21280696
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32871) - you deserved it (3284)

On 10/18/2014 at 9:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I confronted my girlfriend after catching her cheating on me. After she finished crying, she had the brass balls to say she'd understand if I needed a couple of weeks to forgive her, and asked me for bus fare so she could go tell the other guy they could only be friends now. FML

#21280490
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34695) - you deserved it (2946)

On 10/18/2014 at 2:44pm - love - by yee-whore (man) - United States (Vermont)

Today, I was at a football game with my boyfriend. I said my hands were getting cold, hoping he'd hold them. He replied, "Uh, they make pockets for a reason..." and physically showed me how to put my hands in my pockets. FML

#21280399
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31134) - you deserved it (6400)

On 10/18/2014 at 10:53am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, my dad told me someday I'll find a man who wants a nice lumberjack for a wife. FML

#21279635
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29998) - you deserved it (2962)

On 10/17/2014 at 4:14am - love - by axewoman -

Today, my boyfriend gave his penis a high five for not getting me pregnant. He does this every time I get my period. Every. Single. Time. FML

#21279390
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35651) - you deserved it (5795)

On 10/16/2014 at 9:27pm - love - by highfive - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my wife yelled at me for being a bastard and not caring about her needs. I felt like an asshole and apologized for everything. It took me a few hours to realize I'd basically just apologized for unknowingly hanging the toilet paper the "wrong way" for her OCD. FML

#21279154
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32399) - you deserved it (4838)

On 10/16/2014 at 3:30pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Michigan)



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