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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She just grabbed the ring and said in a raspy voice, "My precious..." FML

#21250558
12 comments

I agree, your life sucks (441) - you deserved it (65)

On 09/02/2014 at 2:58pm - love - by anonymous - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I went out with my best friend to McDonald's for a late night snack. Turns out she lied to me and just used me to pick up the boy she likes so they could go stargazing. I'm now laying beside them as they look at the stars and make out. I just want fries. FML

#21249351
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32144) - you deserved it (3239)

On 08/31/2014 at 10:55pm - love - by emilyparker - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boyfriend was stroking my stomach and looking into my eyes. It was very romantic, until he grabbed my love handles and said, "Mmmm... bacon..." FML

#21247445
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32030) - you deserved it (4302)

On 08/28/2014 at 9:47pm - love - by ch4nny (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went on a date with the world's biggest lightweight. She got blind drunk on wine before dessert, and slurred, "You look like... like a black... blueberry." Amused, I said, "You mean a blackberry?" She stared at me for several long seconds, confused, then passed out. Check please. FML

#21247229
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34560) - you deserved it (2624)

On 08/28/2014 at 3:58pm - love - by wowzer (man) - Puerto Rico

Today, my new boyfriend and I got intimate for the first time. He started whispering in my ear, but I couldn't understand him. He pushed me away and ignored me the rest of the night. Apparently it's a huge turn-off that I can't talk dirty in Klingon. FML

#21246884
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39427) - you deserved it (4706)

On 08/28/2014 at 12:34am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my boyfriend and I were having a conversation about the lack of communication in our relationship. I told him that sometimes I feel like he doesn't really care about me at all. If he did, he would listen more. His response? "I know your name, don't I?" FML

#21246190
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34771) - you deserved it (4740)

On 08/27/2014 at 12:56am - love - by Iamthatgirl (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, I was cuddling my boyfriend before going to bed. He farted really loud and spat in my face as he laughed. FML

#21245365
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32385) - you deserved it (3985)

On 08/25/2014 at 9:03pm - love - by byebyeromance (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the reason my boyfriend hasn't texted me recently is that he'd forgotten he was dating anyone. FML

#21244761
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39269) - you deserved it (4625)

On 08/24/2014 at 11:27pm - love - by angry girlfriend - United States (Indiana)

Today, my girlfriend sent me a bunch of sexy pics and said to come over to her place. I thought she was in the mood for sex. Nope, she just wanted me to come over and hang a shelf, after which she sent me back home. FML

#21244207
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37814) - you deserved it (5738)

On 08/24/2014 at 1:51am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I found out my girlfriend doesn't really take flute lessons after all. In related news, every time my best friend supposedly drives her to flute lessons, he's actually taking her to his house for a different kind of activity. FML

#21243834
165 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47409) - you deserved it (5547)

On 08/23/2014 at 2:16pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend and I were watching a TV show about wildlife. The moment the narrator said the word "peacock", my boyfriend broke down into hysterical laughter. He laughed to the point of tears, and had to excuse himself. I'm dating a man-child. FML

#21243818
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34690) - you deserved it (7116)

On 08/23/2014 at 1:51pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend sent me pictures of him and his family on their trip in Florida. He accidentally included a picture of a girl sleeping in his bed, naked. FML

#21242918
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47636) - you deserved it (3220)

On 08/22/2014 at 2:02am - love - by lolatmylife - United States

Today, my boss decided our 4 year relationship was unethical, so she broke up with me, then terminated my employment. FML

#21242835
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39199) - you deserved it (5408)

On 08/21/2014 at 11:53pm - love - by flyakite - United States



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