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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my 18 year old daughter comes home telling me she has been fired from her job at McDonalds. The reason? They had ICarly happy meal toys and she couldn't resist stealing one. FML

#8838699
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25694) - you deserved it (4809)

On 03/05/2010 at 1:10am - kids - by icarlymom (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, after threatening my son for weeks that if he didn't clean his room, I would, I went in, equipped with a garbage bag, ready to throw away everything I found, only to discover dozens of empty bottles, two partially empty pizza boxes, Taco Bell wrappers, and cockroaches. FML

#8824498
238 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19408) - you deserved it (14896)

On 03/04/2010 at 3:01pm - kids - by disguested (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I'm a 15 year old boy who is bald. Why am I bald? My little brother thought it would be funny to put glue in my hair gel. FML

#8799499
222 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29977) - you deserved it (4303)

On 03/03/2010 at 2:11pm - kids - by M95 (man) - Norway (More og Romsdal)

Today, while at my tutoring job, a middle school kid couldn't find a word in the online dictionary. I told him he could check a regular paperback dictionary. His response was, "That's what you did in your day. That's not what we do in our day." I'm only 19. FML

#8779479
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24007) - you deserved it (2739)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:00pm - kids - by csc4lyfe09 - United States (Kansas)

Today, my two year old decided to run out the front door alone. I ran after him, tripped over the bottom of my jeans, fell onto the sidewalk and scraped up both my hands and knees. My neighbors just watched. FML

#8772843
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19442) - you deserved it (3771)

On 03/02/2010 at 1:21pm - kids - by kansasgirl (woman) - United States (Kansas)

Today, I found out that there's nothing like having to chase a 100-something lb. Bloodhound around the neighborhood when you're 8 months pregnant, with a 3 and 4 year old in tow. Especially when she runs the other way at the sight of you coming. FML

#8769098
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25315) - you deserved it (3739)

On 03/02/2010 at 7:17am - kids - by Dogs loose - Sent from mobile version

Today, I was asked to take care of my 3 year old little brother. After 15 minutes of him screaming and me trying to keep him entertained, he started throwing his toy cars at me. He hit me in the mouth, and I started to bleed. My parents yelled at me for "not controlling him." FML

#8748145
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25811) - you deserved it (3442)

On 03/01/2010 at 2:09pm - kids - by moneyman22 - United States (New York)

Today, I was on the city bus, and there was a woman and her child sitting behind me. I began to feel tugging on my jacket so I leaned forward, assuming the child was pulling at my jacket. I sat back and felt the tugging again. After a couple of minutes, I heard the mother say "stop chewing on that!" FML

#8746322
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24120) - you deserved it (2344)

On 03/01/2010 at 11:59am - kids - by nd.11 (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my younger sister said that she was going to pray for her brother's HIV. I have Primary Immune Disease (PID) not HIV. School will be very interesting tomorrow. FML

#8725827
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24359) - you deserved it (1573)

On 02/28/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I jokingly asked my husband if he was going to make it to our first child's Christening as there was a football match on at the same time. Without hesitating, he replyed that he would just watch the recording. He meant the recording of the Christenting. He was serious. FML

#8714094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27617) - you deserved it (5652)

On 02/28/2010 at 9:26am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - South Africa (Eastern Cape)

Today, my 2 year old had a large booger blocking his nose so I pulled it out. I was on the phone and absentmindedly rolling it around between my thumb and pointer finger. I put it in my mouth and crushed it between my teeth for a solid minute before I remembered what it was. FML

#8608911
221 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7923) - you deserved it (59486)

On 02/24/2010 at 2:45am - kids - by janesays (woman) - United States

Today, I had to confess to my mother that I was too hungover to take her to her AA meeting. FML

#8587939
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7459) - you deserved it (31160)

On 02/23/2010 at 1:33pm - kids - by geeb - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was sitting down in a store when a stroller stopped by me. While the parents were fixing the strap, the baby looked at me, gasped, looked at me again, gasped, and then screamed. Ten minutes later, another baby looked at me and screamed. My face scares babies. FML

#8488357
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29357) - you deserved it (3630)

On 02/20/2010 at 7:03pm - kids - by Scaryman (man) - United States (Maryland)



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