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Today, I visited my boyfriend's uncle's house for a party. His 8 year old cousin started asking if I like penis, so my reaction was to laugh, spitting my drink on her and her new dress. She can't pronounce peanuts, and I can't visit anymore. FML

#21510516
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20436) - you deserved it (3462)

On 01/02/2016 at 3:25am - kids - by me - United States (Louisiana)

Today, I was standing in line at the checkout, and my children were arguing with each other. The guy in front of me sighed loudly and told me over his shoulder: "There're these things called condoms, you know." FML

#21509850
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20444) - you deserved it (6607)

On 12/31/2015 at 5:33pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, after trying unsuccessfully for three or so years to have a baby with my wife, my broodiness has gotten so bad that when I saw a couple with their daughter at the bus stop, I briefly had a daydream where I shot them in the head and took their daughter home to raise as my own. FML

#21509677
181 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23081) - you deserved it (4627)

On 12/31/2015 at 6:57am - kids - by DesperateToBeDad (man) - United Kingdom (Bedfordshire)

Today, while babysitting a young girl, I put on the movie Bambi, as she told me it was her favorite movie. I didn't know that her parents always skipped the scene where Bambi's mom dies. Despite my attempts to comfort her, she was still upset when her parents returned. Her mom blamed me. FML

#21509168
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21087) - you deserved it (1497)

On 12/29/2015 at 7:58pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I woke up to several dead snails and worms all over my bed. I guess that's what my little sister meant yesterday when she said I'd be sorry for not letting her play on my phone. FML

#21509043
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20722) - you deserved it (2061)

On 12/29/2015 at 12:29pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I woke up to my wife yelling at my 11-year-old because she found porn on the laptop. Now I have to come clean and tell her it was me so I can get him off the hook. FML

#21508172
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18769) - you deserved it (9676)

On 12/26/2015 at 6:04pm - kids - by oldskoolfun - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I had to take my son to the ER after he badly messed up trying to light his farts on fire. FML

#21508083
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21717) - you deserved it (2795)

On 12/26/2015 at 1:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I walked in on my 13-year-old sister cutting her pubic hair with scissors. After a long talk about what on earth she was doing, she confessed to doing it so her boyfriend could find her clitoris. FML

#21507957
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24600) - you deserved it (2280)

On 12/26/2015 at 12:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)

Today, I found a disturbing video on my 8-year-old's tablet. In the video, I was suffering from sleep paralysis. He's convinced I'm part demon. FML

#21507260
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19941) - you deserved it (1633)

On 12/24/2015 at 11:06am - kids - by mommiedearest - United States (South Carolina)

Today, my parents confirmed we were going to be taking a Disney World trip for Christmas vacation. I already knew that we were taking a trip, but I was now missing a week of school. Being in 3 honors and an A.P. class, I said that I didn't want to go. I got called an "ungrateful, little prick". FML

#21506408
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20419) - you deserved it (7990)

On 12/21/2015 at 11:45pm - kids - by Screw My Parents - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, four days before Christmas, I discovered a rash on my daughter's shoulder. The doctor took one look and said, "It's chicken pox. Merry Christmas." FML

#21506142
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21275) - you deserved it (1814)

On 12/21/2015 at 6:45am - kids - by BadLuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

Today, my now ex-fiancée confessed that "our" child is most likely actually hers and my father's. FML

#21505729
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27681) - you deserved it (1536)

On 12/20/2015 at 3:25am - kids - by Anonymous (man) -



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