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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, as I was about to orgasm while my boyfriend was giving me oral sex, I tightened my grip on his hair and began shouting his name. He stopped, looked up at me, and said, "What?" FML

#21431510
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29767) - you deserved it (4369)

On 06/24/2015 at 11:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after walking in on my roommate, I found out that pleasuring yourself with a shoe is a thing. It wouldn't have been so bad if the shoe hadn't been mine. FML

#21430531
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28920) - you deserved it (2075)

On 06/23/2015 at 4:07am - intimacy - by UkuleleTime - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me after I drove two hours to his house, because he wanted to do it face to face. Then told me that if I wanted, we could have sex one last time, but I would have to leave right after, otherwise it would be weird. FML

#21430061
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27539) - you deserved it (1943)

On 06/22/2015 at 10:41am - intimacy - by bonzo - Australia (Western Australia)

Today, while taking a slow night at my waitressing job, I thought I heard the sound of crying coming from the kitchen. I rushed in, thinking something terrible had happened. Nope, the bus boy was just watching porn on his phone with no headphones. FML

#21429840
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24651) - you deserved it (1678)

On 06/21/2015 at 11:08pm - intimacy - by koanroak - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend murmured his sister's name during sex. Before you say he was thinking of someone else with the same name, I've only ever met one person in our town called Nohemi. FML

#21429316
132 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28619) - you deserved it (1688)

On 06/21/2015 at 12:38am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Today, my girlfriend gave me my first ever blowjob and she surprised me by deciding to swallow. Or so I thought. When she came up to kiss me, she spat my man-milk into my mouth and almost pissed herself laughing when I freaked out and nearly threw up. FML

#21428553
246 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30151) - you deserved it (12394)

On 06/19/2015 at 12:17pm - intimacy - by shmarf (man) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26707) - you deserved it (6049)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27275) - you deserved it (4495)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, I laid in bed until 3am kept up by a house party. In my own house. Which my housemates didn't invite me to. FML

#21425804
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24902) - you deserved it (3021)

On 06/14/2015 at 4:10am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Stockport)

Today, I found out that my homophobic boyfriend, who I was giving a chance to grow the fuck up and get over his obsession with bashing gays, has been cheating on me with another man. FML

#21425403
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38553) - you deserved it (4209)

On 06/13/2015 at 10:26am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was invited to an adult toy party with co-workers. They started by playing a game called 'Never Ever Have I Ever' about everyone's sexual exploits. My mother is a co-worker. I can never un-hear what I heard. FML

#21425174
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28866) - you deserved it (5853)

On 06/12/2015 at 9:22pm - intimacy - by silverspud - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got a Brazilian wax in anticipation of becoming intimate for the first time this weekend with a man I have dated for a few weeks. I'm so sore it hurts just to walk. FML

#21424841
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24921) - you deserved it (7485)

On 06/12/2015 at 2:50am - intimacy - by Pattie (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

#21424599
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27106) - you deserved it (2956)

On 06/11/2015 at 5:20pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Montana)



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