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Today, my boyfriend and I had sex for the first time. Afterwards we went to Applebees for dinner, then after we'd ate I asked "How was it?" he says "It was terrible", to which I said "The food was that bad?" He replies "No, the sex". FML

#431427
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (83068) - you deserved it (12474)

On 03/18/2009 at 12:35am - intimacy - by JC12345 (woman) - United States

Today, I woke up, completely naked, in bed with a guy I met the night before. We were both drunk the night before and I had agreed to go home with him. The reason I woke up was that someone was knocking on his bedroom door. Turns out he lives with his mom and she made us pancakes. FML

#429248
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31926) - you deserved it (84857)

On 03/17/2009 at 11:15pm - intimacy - by Nikki (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was completely naked in my boyfriend's bed. Suddenly his mom yelled that she was coming in so that she could get to the attic. I pulled a blanket up to my neck, hoping she would think I was cold. She had to step over my bra and panties on her way to the attic. FML

#417128
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19013) - you deserved it (83867)

On 03/17/2009 at 5:25pm - intimacy - by sandy (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, me and my boyfriend came back to my house after a night on the town. Thinking the house was empty, we had sex. Just as it was getting good my phone rings. It was a text from my mom, "Quiet down. Even your father can tell you're faking." FML

#415809
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (101062) - you deserved it (45763)

On 03/17/2009 at 4:40pm - intimacy - by MrAwsum (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I was having sex with my girlfriend when she started moaning and breathing heavily. I thought she was getting hot and was about to cum. Unfortunetly, she soon said, "I'm bored, let's play a board game." She was sighing, not moaning. FML

#412334
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63664) - you deserved it (21561)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:42pm - intimacy - by ThePopeMan (man) - United States (Georgia)

Today, I was walking through Macy's with my girlfriend. I stopped to admire a mannequin's ass, joking with my girlfriend like I was touching it. Then I slapped it. It wasn't a mannequin. FML

#408707
223 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42574) - you deserved it (191616)

On 03/17/2009 at 6:16am - intimacy - by Noname (man) - United States (California)

Today, I texted my boyfriend of 6 months saying that I was in the mood, and that I was in bed, and naked. He texted back saying "U got fingers, use them, im going to bed xoxo". FML

#405303
218 comments

I agree, your life sucks (136689) - you deserved it (36883)

On 03/17/2009 at 1:06am - intimacy - by princess (woman) - Canada (Quebec)

Today, my dad gave me a promise ring on my one year anniversary with my boyfriend and made me swear I would wait til marriage. Four hours later he walked in on us having sex in my bedroom. FML

#400298
239 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45860) - you deserved it (240319)

On 03/16/2009 at 10:19pm - intimacy - by thiswouldhappen. - United States (Florida)

Today, I was sifting through my parents old home movies. I put in one and was horrified to see my parents having sex. I immediately ejected the tape and looked at the label. It said "Bermuda, 1989". They've told me I was conceived in Bermuda around that time. I've seen my own conception. FML

#391986
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (176173) - you deserved it (34476)

On 03/16/2009 at 7:08pm - intimacy - by ihatevideos (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, my boyfriend and I decided to have sex at his house. When we got there, he checked his mail box first and noticed that his Wii game arrived. He sent me home so he can play. FML

#381498
228 comments

I agree, your life sucks (158047) - you deserved it (22103)

On 03/16/2009 at 2:48pm - intimacy - by gfg (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)

Today, I fell asleep in history class. I was dreaming about my history teacher. When I woke up everyone stared at me rather weirdly and the teacher wasn't there. Turns out I was moaning my history teachers name through my sleep. FML

#379230
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (125437) - you deserved it (36536)

On 03/16/2009 at 1:18pm - intimacy - by asleepinclass (woman) - Poland (Warszawa)

Today, I was filling out paperwork with my new doctor. During the questionnaire, she asked if I was sexually active. I said yes. She then asked, "What do you do?" I told her I normally did vaginal, but sometimes anal. She blushed and started to laugh. She was asking where I worked. FML



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