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Illustrated FML (339) - About FMyLife (100) - Videos (34) - Ramblings (18) - Pictures (14) - Books (9) - Special guests (8) - Competitions (6)

Come up with a funny caption for this FML Photo, quick!


Hello everyone! It's the beginning of the week, everyone's sad and lonely after mourning the end of the weekend, so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We're in full procrastination mode too, so here's a fun little thing to do while you wait to go home. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. This one DOES contain famous people dor once. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.


Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:


Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

#1634 - Pictures - On 12/05/2016 at 2:05pm by Alan - 42 comments

FML's Survival Kit #7

Hi everyone ! It's Thursday so it's time again to show you stuff that we've liked over the past week. We've gotten over Black Friday without broken limbs, and Cyber Monday was a bit of a damp squib, so now that it's December we can get ourselves all worked up about Christmas coming round the corner. So, without any further ado, here's this weeks suggestions for stuff to buy for you and your loved ones!

Our team, as most of you are, is really into gadgets, games and weird stuff to play with. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us giggle enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for upcoming events like Christmas, housewarmings, birthdays and other fun things. Check 'em out. 

 

Give everything eyes

"I'm the kind of dude who likes to spice up my life by giving everything around a face. There's a technical term for it but I can't be bothered to look it up. Anyway, with this selection of 500, yes FIVE HUNDRED googly eyes, you can turn anything into a hysterical face. Or amuse yourself by defacing public property and/or adverts, posters and statues. It's really fun to do."


 

Fake my life

"As my grandmother used to say, if you can't make it, fake it. I've lived a pretty sheltered life up until now. I've never had a TV so I don't really know what the real world is like outside of the few streets I dare to cross. The first time I met someone with a foreign accent, I almost fainted. Anyway, this book will teach you in a very funny way how to fake your life. How to become a better version of you. Or just get for someone who really needs improvement. It won't be a subtle gift, but it'll go a long way to helping them be less annoying."

 

Take better selfies

"Ever since cameras have been incorporated into cellphones, the world has gone picture mad. We've been invaded by words like selfies, and the quality of pictures has increased exponentially. I can remember a time when a smartphone photo looked like a drunk robot's rendition of reality in shitty pixels glued together. Now, we can use gadgets like this one: a wide angle lens you just clip over your phone and hey presto, brilliant wide angle photos!"

 

It's the final countdown

"Ever wondered how long you've got left on that egg you're trying to boil? Ever need to countdown to something but always forget what time you started doing whatever you are doing? Fear no more: this handy gadget has all the major countdown times, you'll know exactly when it's time to take the eggs out of the boiling water because the final countdown has ended! It's really useful for anyone who enjoys time. Avoid getting one for a Timelord, they keeping fucking around with time."

 

Every home should have one

"It's a scratching post that attaches to the wall! How brilliant is that? I mean, it's everything I need in life, now that I've got Netflix and unlimited access to this thing. Get it for the cat lover in your life, they'll thank you for it because it's a vertical, flat, post, which works much better than the ones you lay out flat!"

 

 

Socks appeal

"OK, I think I've already featured something with unicorns on it, but I don't care. Unicorns are cool! As it's winter, sort of, you need socks, loads of socks, and these are pretty on fleek, I got several pairs to avoid running out of them. These will still be fashionable in ten years time, believe me. And they're a great gift for anyone with good taste. Get them now!" 

 


Waterworks

"I love animals, and not just in a food sense. This fish tank is pretty cool, it looks good in my apartment and it drives my cats wild. I have to cover it up at night to avoid having a disaster on my hands, but during the day it's quite soothing to watch. It's easy to assemble, and doesn't take up too much room. Great gift for kids who want something to take care of." 


 

Great for kids with brains

"I always try to encourage the kids around me, like my many illegitimate children scattered around the country, to take an interest in science and how things works, basically. So instead of the letting them dismantle the landline phone or the family dog, get them one of these gadgets. There's a whole range of things for them to learn from. I love them, and I'll be getting some more this Xmas!"

 

 

That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon.

#1633 - About FMyLife - On 12/01/2016 at 8:23am by Alan - 1 comments

Caption today's FML Photo!


Hello everyone! It's the beginning of the week, everyone's sad and lonely after breaking up with our significant others this weekend, so we thought we'd cheer you up with a picture to caption. We're in full procrastination mode too, so here's a fun little thing to do while you wait to go home. Enjoy!
 

How does this work?

We're giving you a picture to caption. This one DOES contain famous people dor once. It's up to you to tell the story behind it, using the "Today, (…) FML" template that we all know and love. Then, according to your votes, and a totally arbitrary choice on our part, we'll post the FML Photo in the category and credit the author of the caption.

The FML Photos are a colourful addition to FML. You can make them legendary. To do so, we're once again appealing to your creativity and sense of humour. Show us what you've got, if you've got it. There's no reason why you shouldn't be able to come up with a great caption to go with this photo.


Get on with it. Show us the photo already.

Here it is:


Feeling inspired?
If so, add your suggestions and captions in the comments below, in the best FML style you can think of. The funniest will be published in the FML Photos category, and the author will be showered in the glory of having their name mentioned alongside their creation. Ready? Go!

Subtle warning: Captions posted in response to top-voted captions, or in response to the captions in the first few positions will be disqualified/deleted/hissed at. Comment on the article, not the comments, so your votes actually count!

#1632 - Pictures - On 11/28/2016 at 10:07am by Alan - 60 comments

Plume's illustrated FML

Hello everyone! It's Friday, so it's time once again to dip into the murky waters of illustrations and interpretations of FMLs by talented people. This time we've got someone so young drawing for us that it almost makes me angry. I've got cans of beans at the back of a cupboard that are older than she is. Anyway, I'm not here to be the bitter old dude, I'm here to present the artist of the week. Let's check her out. In a good clean way, of course. 

PLUME'S ILLUSTRATED FML

"Just so I know, do I have to click on reply to all when replying to your e-mails ?"

Self-portrait Plume by Monster Symphonie
 


This week, it's the turn of Plume, which means feather in French. She's got a special AKA called Monster Symphonie, but it's too much of a mouthful to keep typing it, so I'm going with Plume. She's also new around here, so be kind to her.

Her info:

Age: 19
Location: Somewhere in France
Websites: Her blog et her Tumblr
Her illustrated FML: The one with the question

 

Who are you?
I'm Plume, an unimportant human being who realized that they had the divine power of creation. Well, for now it's limited to a blank page and a pencil, which is a good start! 

What do you do?
I draw! All the time. It's a like a drug, I can't survive without it more that two days. I also attend an art-history college, hoping that I'll like it in the long run, because I've tried enrolling in art schools, and was always turned down. And I was turned down for a graphic design school. So I think I'm going to stay self-taught.

Where do you come from?
Somewhere in France which specializes in billberries, mirabelle plums, madelines (a special french cake) and blue mountains. 

How old are you? 
19, the age of… nothing really. Nothing happens when you turn 19.

What's your favourite self-penned illustration?
I like this one a lot, it's one of my first erotic comics :

Who is your favourite illustrator?
I've got way too many to mention... OK, I'll pick two different artists:

A self-taught artist who likes butts : Shyle Zalewski

A creepy but cute student : Ghoulkiss


Your passion, besides illustrating?
I also like making personal/decorative objects, sewing dolls and I've recently started learning to play the ukulele! I'm like a creative Swiss Army knife.

Your favourite place in the world?
A bed. In a bed, you're kept warm, it's comfortable, you can cuddle with your pillow and dream of adventures with yur creations. The only drawback is that you have to get out of bed to draw the creations.

What gets on your nerves?
Not knowing when a cyclops is winking or not. We have no way of knowing if they are winking at us, all of the time, and we don't even know! 

What makes you happy?
Creating comic books, creating characters (yes, drawing is my life), monsters and all sorts of creatures, finishing a notebook, listening to music, testing new pearl tea, collection teabags. 

Who is your hero?
I don't really have heroes or inspirational people. I do admire artists who can make a living out of what they do, even if it's a small amount. I hope to be one, one of these days. 

Your favourite word?
"Pluie" ('"Rain" in French). It's grey, luminous and refreshing. We can stay at home in the warmth and watch the leaves fall, wrapped in a plaid with a cup of hot chocolate in my hands 

What's your favourite smell?
Freshly cut grass.

The job you wouldnt've liked to have done?
Something involved with science. I mean, they're very interesting, but I just don't get it. Too many numbers, formulas laws of physics…" 

If you had to take a book, a record, a comic book or movie on a desert island, which one would it be?
The only Cats on Trees album, Belle-Epoque by Elizabeth Ross, the entire collection of Haibane Renmei by Yoshitoshi ABe and Chocola et Vanilla by Moyoco Anno.


What would you like to sell this week?
If I had the means to do so, I'd get sweat shirts with my work printed on them, so I could sell them in my little shop!

If God exists, what would you like him to ask you after you die? 
"Welcome to Heaven, Plume! Can I get an autograph?"

Thats it for this week. Thanks to Plume for taking part this week, and we hope she'll return. OK, so it's now one month away from Christmas. We've only just got over Thanksgiving, and today people are pummeling themselves in the but to get their hands on a shitty TV. So, in that, I'll leave you with an excellent documentary by Adam Curtis, made for the BBC (so it's not some crank on Youtube with a camera talking about how he thinks the world is flat). It's way much better. Oh, and here's something very scary. See you in about 2 weeks, until then, be excellent to each other.  XOXO

What about you then? Think you have talent and want to participate in an upcoming illustrated FML? Send us an email to [email protected], not forgetting to give us the URL of your blog, or just some of your works.

#1631 - Illustrated FML - On 11/25/2016 at 6:12am by Alan - 0 comments

FML's Survival Kit #6

Hi everyone ! It's Thursday so it's time again to show you stuff that we've liked over the past week. If you're into all the Black Friday/Cyber Monday rigmarole about fighting over a crap TV, that's your business. We're just suggesting that you stay at home and buy the stuff we've selected this week from the comfort of your own home. Here we go!

Our team is really into gadgets, games and weird objects. This column will allow you to find out what sort of things we like, what makes us giggle enough to buy, but will also give you some ideas for gifts, either for yourself or someone special. Check 'em out. 

 

It's art, OK?

"Next to my house I have a shed in which I get on with all my DIY projects. I also like to decorate with strange things. This week, I added this picture of a woman with an inhaler to my collection of strange but funny decorations. It's a great talking point if you run out of things to say to whoever you have locked in your shed."

 

 

Snail tea

"I love tea. Tea rules. Tea is my life. There's a sort of ritual behind having a cup of tea, which involves hot water, teabags, maybe a spoon or some milk. This week I got myself a pack of these useful little things, which are snails that you attach to your cup, so you can float your teabags with risking any sinking or the string falling into the water. And they're quite pretty, too. Get them for the tea enthusiast in your life."

 

Fart your way to success

"This is one I've used on the ladies. My conquests. My biatches. Girls love unicorns, they can't get enough of them. They also love candy. This product combines the both, so it's got maximum pulling potential if you give one to a girl you fancy. She'll be all over you like rash. Without actually giving you a rash, unless you're trying to seduce a crack whore. Oh, and kids love these too. Delicious."

 


Learning to care

"I'm a prerry irresponsible guy. I can't be trusted with anything! My girlfriend wanted to get a cat for our place, a real live cat. Naturally, I was petrified of having to care of it, so she got me in the mindset of taking care of something with this pet rock. It's funny, and makes me want to take care of a cat, so maybe soon I'll have progressed from a rock to a cat. Sounds like the beginning of a joke about evolution-denying creationists, but it's not. The packaging leads me to believe that it would be a great gag gift."

 

Grind the grass

"I definitely down to chill, most of the time. If there's a piece of wrapping paper stuck under the couch, I could be there for hours. But the relax, I need my catnip. It removes all the stress from my life. But this grinder makes things even easier. It works for all sorts of herbs and spices to increase their potency, so catnip becomes a real bag of fun!"

 

              Foxy mug

"I love coffee. I love puns. I love swearing at people. I love foxes. This mug was made for ME. So I bought it. It's sturdy, nicely designed and does the job it's supposed to. Consider buying one in tandem with the snail tea clips mentioned above if you're a tea drinker, because they would be perfect together!" 

 


It's back

"I love reading and sleeping, and I have a serious back injury that means that public transportation is a real nightmare for me. Especially cheap-arse airlines who squeeze the seats so close together for profit that I can't fit my 6ft2 carcass into. This handy gadget makes traveling an enjoyable experience, because you can actually sleep properly. I love it!" 


 

George Carlin is God

"I love t-shirts with a message. Emma likes one too because it's related to swearing. She's now, like me, a devotee  of the Patron Saint of Profanity, Saint George. George Carlin, obviously. It actually lists the 7 words you (couldn't at the time) say on television. These days you can hear them in most children's TV shows. How times have changed.

 

That's it for this week. Hope you enjoyed our selection, and maybe even bought a few things! See you soon.

#1630 - About FMyLife - On 11/24/2016 at 6:32am by Alan - 5 comments