Work, Awkward and Wanker: Wanker

Wanker

By Anonymous - 30/03/2009 06:10 - United States

Today, I volunteered at a nursing home. I approached a lonely, old man who had a type of nervous tick. I went over to speak to him, and not even four sentences into our conversation he says, "I'd really like to make love to you." What I thought was a tick was actually him stroking himself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 70 541

You deserved it 4 565

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 12/01/2011 05:31 - Canada

Today, I was walking down the street and I saw an old man, and me feeling nice I asked him if I could help him cross the street. He responded with: "Only if you let me touch your tits." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 230

You deserved it 6 619

Meat

By tomedicalforlove - 21/02/2013 05:51

Today, my husband and I were fooling around in the shower. For some reason, I thought it'd be a good idea to grab his man meat and show him how to wash someone at a nursing home. He said he'd never be turned on by a nurse again. I'm a nurse. FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 130

You deserved it 41 952

By Anonymous - 11/06/2015 21:20 - United States - Helena

Today, I was talking to an old man I met at a store. He just wanted to know a few things, and he asked about my day. I explained a few bad things that'd happened, then I thanked him for listening. He then asked, "So, how are we gonna do this?" He thought we were gonna fuck. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 919

You deserved it 3 356

Hands-on

By poolgirl789 - 03/09/2013 06:30 - United Kingdom - Bradford

Today, I had to feed an elderly man in the care home in which I work while he was whacking off. Our work policy states that I have to pretend not to notice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 65 759

You deserved it 4 752

By mjperfetti84 - 22/11/2009 13:53 - United States

Today, I helped an old man with his groceries, because he was struggling and he had a cane. After, I was nice enough to drive him home. He went to thank me by giving me a kiss on the cheek. Then he stuck his tongue out, and tried to French kiss me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 483

You deserved it 6 178

By rochellamaya - 02/09/2011 12:47 - Canada

Today, working as a nurse, I asked a 61-year-old patient if he did any physical activity. His reply was, "Well, I do masturbate a lot". He then went on to describe the various techniques he uses. FML

I agree, your life sucks 37 314

You deserved it 4 277

By therewasnocurtain - 06/04/2015 20:07 - United States - Lewiston

Today, I visited my sick grandpa for a few hours in the hospital. His roommate, also an elderly man, wouldn't stop masturbating. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 108

You deserved it 2 541

PUA

By Anonymous - 13/03/2016 16:16 - United States - Smyrna

Today, while jogging in the park, a confused elderly gentleman asked me for directions, so I told him how to get to where he needed to go. He paused for a long moment, then asked me if he could eat me out. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 355

You deserved it 2 239

By beckbm23 - 21/11/2009 05:03 - United States

Today, at work at a grocery store an old couple came through my checkout lane. As I was putting their bagged groceries in the cart, the old man started feeling me up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 157

You deserved it 2 590

By EMTGirl'sLife - 10/02/2015 03:15 - United States - Basking Ridge

Today, I responded to an emergency call for an intoxicated 83-year-old man with chest pains. As I leaned forward to check his lung sounds, he groped my chest and said, "Nice rack". I just wanted to see if he had difficulty breathing. I don't even get paid for this, I'm a volunteer for the town. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 563

You deserved it 2 822

altkat 3

Monday 30 March 2009 21:01

At least you have the satisfaction of knowing that creepy old men have the hots for you. Congratulations.

crazy_cat_lady 0

Monday 30 March 2009 21:28

Haha something similar happened to me! I was working for a podiatrist that visits nursing homes, and I had to kneel down on the floor to take off a patient's shoes and socks. I heard the patient breathing harder and harder, so I stood up, afraid that he was having a heart attack or a stroke or something. Then I saw his hard on, and realized he had just been staring down my scrub top. Old men are so perverted!

Comments

mrcarmine 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 4:44

how could you not tell that he was masturbating?! i think you deserved it lol

pb_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 4:47

Ahahahahahaha. That's great.

123412341234 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 5:15

i was going to say: "tell him you have some sort of std"... then realized he probably doesn't care

x0bayby 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 5:26

i wouldve humped the f*ck out of him

mastershake 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 6:22

# 15 how do you puke out of your ear?

jrod_fml 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 7:15

Just goes to show that you shouldn't respect someone just because of their age.

m0nicam0nster 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 7:41

HAHAHAHA I love old people. Except not really, they are awkward and horrible. I don't want to be one.

route95 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 8:32

Wow, that is disgusting. That could definitely be counted as sexual harassment! Men get arrested for doing that in front of others without consent!

jobekka 20

Tuesday 11 January 2022 22:24

men do, old people in nursing homes don't. i had a patient who pulled a old married Alzheimer lady into her room and made her undress while touching her. nothing is done about it other than keeping better watch on them.

nodbor 11

Tuesday 31 March 2009 9:37

kill me Billy

heather_marie 0

Tuesday 31 March 2009 10:11

Oh god. If only I posted a FML for everytime I've seen this! I work at a nursing home. We used to have an alzheimers patient that would scream "I wanna **** you!" & of course he'd be in his room masturbating. Most old men are pervs & like to wank it & hit on the younger workers. Which is why I ALWAYS wear a t-shirt under my scrub top so they can't see down it. But atleast he didn't feel you up.