heather_marie

About Heather_marie

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Keen reader – Level: student ninja

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You have voted for 50% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

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You have voted for 100% of the entire collection of FMLs to date.

One more and it's business time

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Heather_marie's favorite FMLs

By stillsingleladies - 17/02/2009 15:27 - United States

Today, my lesbian sister enthusiastically showed me her new strap-on. Not only does she get more girls than me, she now has a bigger penis too. FML

I agree, your life sucks 73 427

You deserved it 5 847

By tgstreaks - 23/04/2009 05:44 - United States

Today, I got a spray tan for the first time. Naked, I climbed into the booth. When the machine started I became frightened by the loud roar of the spray and couldn't breathe. I pissed myself out of fear. I now have river-like streaks down both legs where the pee washed my tan away. FML

I agree, your life sucks 25 873

You deserved it 90 994

By BerryRockstar - 21/04/2009 17:37 - United States

Today, I was on top of my boyfriend having sex and I was looking away doing my thing. When I looked back, my boyfriend had headphones on and was playing air drums. FML

I agree, your life sucks 76 776

You deserved it 17 813

BerryRockstar tells us more.

BerryRockstar 9

Thursday 23 April 2009 13:25

AAAHH I can't believe I posted this on here and now i have to EXPLAIN myself to you people. Well there's the thing. 1) This was totally not a "Today" but a totally "Last November" 2) He was wearing headphones when we got into it, so why should i help him any 3) This was the FIRST time we'd done it, so HE was the bad lay 4) We're not dating anymore (I broke up with him) 5) FML anyway for wasting so much time with him I know i cheated on the "today" thing, but who hasn't. It just says that they all relatively START with "today" and END with FML. I hope this answers a couple of questions.

Obvious

By Anonymous - 04/04/2009 04:34 - United States

Today, I went to the doctor because my arm hurt. When he told me I had tennis elbow, I said, "That's funny, I don't play tennis." He then asked me if I had a girlfriend. When I said no, he said, "Well I guess we solved this one." FML

I agree, your life sucks 78 857

You deserved it 20 917

By Anonymous - 02/04/2009 05:13 - United States

Today, I came home to find a sock I previously used to whack off on my bed with googly eyes and a mouth drawn on it with a note that read "Because you can't find a real girl, I made your current one prettier, Love Mom." FML

I agree, your life sucks 505

You deserved it 149