Tonight, on First Dates…

By dumper - 05/11/2009 06:41 - United States

Today, I finally got the courage to go on a first date with this guy I had a crush on for months. It was such a big deal for me cause it was my first date ever. The first thing he says when we met was, "I have to take a dump." I sat by myself for 10 minutes. FML
I agree, your life sucks 37 219
You deserved it 5 589
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Top comments

teiso_fml 0

Since it's your first date ever, here's something you should know about guys: Sometimes, they have to poo. Even when they're on a date. It's not their fault, it's just the way their bodies work.

48 6
SaintJimmy 0

You do not want. Trust me I know these kinds of people.

31 3

Comments

SaintJimmy 0

You do not want. Trust me I know these kinds of people.

31 3
pleasetryagain 0

What? The kind of people who need to poop? Do you have one of those bags taped to your side? I can see why you would be jealous of someone who could poop.

17 5
The_Pleb 0

To all you perverted FMl users.. I just want to point out that the majority of normal people find this a HUGE turn off and would dump this guy and wouldnt give a shit. Thankyou for your time.

3 1
morganljc 0

#47 Don't be an ass. I have one of those "bags" aka an ostomy, and I'm not jealous of those who use the bathroom normally. I would be dead if I didn't have it and I'm grateful.

19 2
alexandraa_fml 0

The only thing I find funny abt this FML is that somebody thought it was worthy of an FML.

0 0
8trickster8 0

I think it's more of his phrasing than the fact that he needs to poo. Do you think she would write an FML if he had said, "I'll be back in a few minutes, I just need to go to the toilet/bathroom first."

15 0
lolbulla 0

oh wow boo hoo **** your life for having to wait 10 minutes..

0 1
bandaidface 0

This totally made my day hahaha. Very nice... very subtle.

1 1
Moemoemoe_fml 0

You have to take a dump too: dump him. :S He's got no manners or anything.

27 9
kashman95 1

how that help does have no manners excuse him case he had to take a shit what was he supposed to do shit on himself and sit in it PRICK

6 2
SadinSherman 16

He left,the bathroom thing was an bad excuse.

3 4
Intellectualist 0

At least he was comfortable. You bagged a good one there.

1 1
LilKonvicted 0

Thats just not cool. Kinda funny, but still not cool.

10 3
Hentai_fml 6

It's cool. When you gotta take a dump you gotta take a dump.

1 1
teiso_fml 0

Since it's your first date ever, here's something you should know about guys: Sometimes, they have to poo. Even when they're on a date. It's not their fault, it's just the way their bodies work.

48 6
BeeSkwaird 0

Seriously not an FML. Apparently he's very comfortable with you. And he might have been a bit nervous, which causes a lot of people to need a restroom pronto. Not an FML.

1 0
TrackGirl19 29

He could have gone without burlting it out and telling her. I don't know about everyone else, but that's kind of a turnoff..

7 0
teentee401 36

I'm pretty sure OP knows he's human. The FML isn't that he had to poop but that he announced it and it was the first thing he said to her.

1 0
dul_fml 2

When you gotta go, you gotta go. I don't see how this is an FML. Was the rest of your date just terrible?

2 1
Charlina 0

jeeez that is a HUUUUGE turn off! what did you do?

12 2
Intellectualist 0

Some people find it sexy, actually.

1 1
Mnemic 5

But like #6 said: when you gotta go, you gotta go... Would you keep it in till forever if you're on a date? Its better to be relaxed instead of feeling uncomfortable because of it. And on the other hand... he could have said in different words!

3 1
Intellectualist 0

Yeah, the people who are into scat are people too. Therefore my point stands. Some people find it sexy.

0 0
ILIEKGIRLS 5

i take like 30 mins when i shit cause i crap like every 4 days for some reason :/

0 1
t0phurius 0

that could just be a metabolism issue... you may wanna get it checked out. on the other hand, it could be perfectly normal.

1 1
Savvysass 0

I get that everyone has to poo, but saying it like that on a first date to a girl is the equivalent to, "I can't wait to see how my herpes looks all over you".

15 1