Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon...

By Anonymous - 08/08/2011 14:29 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 707

You deserved it 4 475

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Same thing different taste

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 120

You deserved it 10 610

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 37 748

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 131

You deserved it 7 406

By Notaplacetogo - 17/02/2013 06:45 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 658

You deserved it 10 117

By ilikecake - 29/05/2009 11:12 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 383

You deserved it 53 408

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 3 044

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 929

You deserved it 4 206

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 670

You deserved it 4 710

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 838

You deserved it 18 696

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 912

whiteboy7thst 2

Monday 8 August 2011 19:00

So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..

plebeianFelix 5

Monday 8 August 2011 19:00

that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.

Comments

ninjasaurous 0

Monday 8 August 2011 20:34

NO, he can make a pretzel shape. He can make a penis pretzel stick.

Saam143 0

Monday 8 August 2011 20:37

Who blew up the balloon?;)

yrkamurka 4

Monday 8 August 2011 20:59

sounds.... hard to do

sonny2john 8

Monday 8 August 2011 21:03

Lucky you must be a big boy

chelseaaababyyy 17

Monday 8 August 2011 21:04

that would be awesome if he could

toqwert 0

Monday 8 August 2011 21:08

that's not an fml, that's a win!!! if he succeeds...

iloooovemylife 7

Monday 8 August 2011 21:34

Idk if you should be proud or worried

dgurl 0

Monday 8 August 2011 21:35

Wow I'm sorry u hv to deal with that! But that is halarious!!!

sheethapins 13

Monday 8 August 2011 21:46

Read the FML again, and the answer will surly reveal itself...

sheethapins 13

Monday 8 August 2011 21:50

Time well spent.

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I went to a corner store to restock my chocolate stash. A guy from work walked in to see me and the cashier arguing about the amount of candy I was trying to buy with a jar of pennies. He took one look at me and said, "That time of the month, eh?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 739

You deserved it 27 156

Today, I was stuck with a coworker all morning while she had the "front farts." I moved to a different area after lunch, only to have another coworker start talking loudly about her boyfriend's skin tags, and how he likes to have her bite them off. I'm so disgusted but afraid to report it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 455

You deserved it 86

The Top

Today, after a stressful shift at work, I bought three bags of candy to hand out to trick-or-treaters tonight. I didn’t realize until I got home that one bag had a hole in it, and there were three empty M&M wrappers inside. My grocery store sucks. FML

I agree, your life sucks 332

You deserved it 75

Today, I got my results on a recent, important midterm. During the exam, I'd noticed my instructor had accidentally left an answers page in the test packet, so being honest, I didn't look at them. It turns out she did it on purpose to help us pass. I failed. FML

I agree, your life sucks 38 749

You deserved it 15 751

Today, I got screamed at by my boss for holding a guy to corporate policy at a rental agency. The guy was rich, so apparently rules don't apply to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 810

You deserved it 72

Today, I was clipping my abnormally thick toenails. I had to apply so much pressure on the clippers that a nail flew off, hit me in the eyeball and scratched my cornea. The doctor nearly fell off his chair laughing during my eye exam after I told him what happened. FML

I agree, your life sucks 22 428

You deserved it 2 179

Today, someone left a comment on our company Facebook page, and my manager told me what to respond, but the VP didn’t like it. Guess who’s now suspended for a couple weeks with no pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 956

You deserved it 100

Today, my best friend and I came home from Japan. Her boyfriend and I have been having an affair before I left so I decided not to tell him she was coming with me. We just got off the plane and got a bite to eat, he was waiting for me so he could propose, my best friend was standing next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 554

You deserved it 226 116

Same thing different taste

Yummy

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