Intimacy: Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon...

By Anonymous - 08/08/2011 14:29 - Canada

Today, my boyfriend told me about this guy who makes balloon animals with his penis. My boyfriend has spent the last 4 hours trying to make his penis look like a pretzel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 707

You deserved it 4 475

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Same thing different taste

Yummy

By lovely - 26/02/2014 18:53 - United States - San Francisco

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be cute to put his penis through a doughnut and try to make me eat it off. FML

I agree, your life sucks 54 120

You deserved it 10 610

By Anonymous - 15/11/2009 23:26 - United States

Today, I had nothing better to do than make a penis out of silly putty. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 849

You deserved it 37 748

By frustrated - 17/08/2013 22:56 - Ireland - Killarney

Today, after a long and stressful day, I started fooling around with my boyfriend. When we finally got to the main event, I found out that we couldn't, because he'd used all his condoms to make water balloons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 57 131

You deserved it 7 406

By Notaplacetogo - 17/02/2013 06:45 - United States - Walnut Creek

Today, I walked in on my boyfriend taking pictures of his penis in a condom. When I asked him what the hell he was doing he told me that he was making a stop-motion film called "All Dressed Up with Nowhere to go." FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 658

You deserved it 10 117

By ilikecake - 29/05/2009 11:12 - United Arab Emirates

Today, it was my boyfriend's 24th birthday. His friends were throwing him a surprise party and I was in charge of getting his birthday cake. As a joke, I got it in the shape of a penis, with a graphic marzipan design. Funny, I never knew his overly-conservative parents were invited. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 383

You deserved it 53 408

By Anon - 15/03/2016 06:52 - United States - Pasco

Today, my boyfriend and I were reminiscing and sharing funny stories of when we were little. It was then that he told me he used to be flexible enough to suck his own weiner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 865

You deserved it 3 044

By bathtime - 21/12/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend started freaking out about how his penis floats in water. Baths with him will never be the same again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 929

You deserved it 4 206

By Anonymous - 23/06/2012 14:59 - Ireland - Cork

Today, as a romantic gesture, my boyfriend gifted me an origami vagina. FML

I agree, your life sucks 29 670

You deserved it 4 710

By PlayTag - 05/02/2009 00:58 - United States

Today, my girlfriend gave me a blow-up doll and told me to practice. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 838

You deserved it 18 696

By CALIdime_15 - 05/05/2012 05:42 - United States

Today, I watched my boyfriend have a full on conversation with his penis. He also talks to his penis nicer than he talks to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 30 347

You deserved it 4 912

whiteboy7thst 2

Monday 8 August 2011 19:00

So he has that long of a penis? Stop complaining..

plebeianFelix 5

Monday 8 August 2011 19:00

that's a lofty goal, you should be proud of him.

Comments

jake7787 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 3:08

That's funny...

leannalovesyhu 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 3:08

Sounnds funn ;D annd sexy '!

woahwoahwow 9

Tuesday 9 August 2011 3:43

Pics or it didn't happen.

kis769 5

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:12

I love that. I'd personally would be fascinated.

Britishkid9 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:28

Tell him to get an erection and tada a pretzel rod

jayzus123 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:29

he only wanted you to eat it after ;) just kidding

Stylin_Since_97 10

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:30

Even for a contortionist, that can't be healthy.

uso_geez 1

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:43

ITS 2011 QUIT LIVIN IN FANTASY LAND WTF AHA

emdegs 0

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:45

Thats actually kinda amazing...

Nick_1993 2

Tuesday 9 August 2011 4:47

It obviously wont work if it's small...

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The Top

Today, we had two of our longest serving coworkers retire at the company I work at, and they hired two young prospects to replace them. The problem? They asked me to train them both for the next 4 months, cancelling my PTO in the process, and then I learned they were being paid nearly 20% more than I am. FML

I agree, your life sucks 555

You deserved it 77

Today, my step-dad was talking about how he was raised in Las Vegas, telling stories about him and his buddies, until he stopped, looked right at my mom and said, "Find her, feed her, f*ck her, forget her. But I never forgot your mom, that's how I stole her from your dad." FML

I agree, your life sucks 59 380

You deserved it 4 153

The Top

Today, I'm being ghosted by someone who said they wanted to meet up, but never texted me. She could've just said she wasn't interested, but instead we made plans. She kept writing back, saying how excited she was to meet me, and then I never heard from her again. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 005

You deserved it 77

Today, I was at my son's baseball game when a foul ball came flying toward my brand new car. In an attempt to save my windshield, I dove onto trying to stop the ball only to land on my windshield, crack it and see the ball land safely on the ground next to my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 430

You deserved it 40 420

Today, my boss told me that as funny as it is, it is inappropriate to mock customers with my "fake" Scottish accent. I don't, he refuses to believe that I speak with a Scottish accent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 340

You deserved it 2 427

Today, my legs were really sore from working out yesterday, so it hurt going down the stairs at work. To avoid the pain, l ignored how stupid I looked and limped down the staircase. When I finally got to the bottom, I hopped off the last step. And twisted my ankle. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 322

You deserved it 587

Today, my roommate and I received a non-payment notice from our landlord, over a dishonored check that was used to pay the rent. I give my roommate money for my share and she handles the checks. Apparently, her trip to Puerto Rico was more important than paying rent. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 553

You deserved it 180

Today, I lost my virginity to an ultrasound probe. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 118

You deserved it 4 373

Same thing different taste

Yummy

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