By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Spicy
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 393
You deserved it 5 231
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Top comments

krsimir 0

Should have used charmen toilet paper, no little white pieces left behind

906 7
frozenfreeze 5

They were the least of your problems?...Were there dragons and dead rats down there too?

364 9

Comments

loserman67 35

OKay, thank you for the diet assistance because I just had to throw away the bagel I was eating while reading this post. That stinks Dude! ^^ see what I did there ^^

28 3
halfprincess 3

I hope you didn't puke while she held your hair and said she loves you

9 4
blink978 1

Im sending a 20 dollar restaurant card for your pain.

10 0
jujubunni5 9

Hey! Maybe she didnt know. Its hard to keep up on shaving everyday plus that isn't healthy. And sometimes that happens to all of us. She just forgot to check herself. And wrecked herself. And all you mean men don't even consider that dark sodas make vaginas smell! :/ geeze.

40 17
SaturnV 25

Consuming dark soda (if that's even true) couldn't possibly make them smell as badly as neglecting proper hygienic practices down there does.

7 3
mikeymayhem_87 15

I doubt dark soda has anything to do with cleanliness...

3 4
lyssgross 16

Get. A. Shirt. On. And while you're at it, quit commenting stupid shit like this.

0 1
heitwl 1

Dark soda is that. Code for something?

14 3
KylieJ96 2

Wax then KEEP UP ON TRIMMING. Freaking make sure you're clean too and not be lazy. 15 years old, don't even have sex- I can do it. It's not healthy to smell or have stuff up there that doesn't belong either!

1 21
Dustin_Pedobear 9

I have to disagree with you on the dark soda theory. Even if soda(or any of the other countless things people say affect vaginal smell and the taste of semen) actually DID have any effect, it would surely be unnoticeable unless OP's GF was consuming huge amounts of it. But even so, I personally doubt that soda would have anything to do with it.

7 2
Crazberry 5

Oh noo D: You poor, poor guy. Don't let that experience spoil it for you, there are cleaner girls out there. Maybe tell her and if she doesn't clean herself up then you'll know you need to find someone new...

8 3
ahabsfan 14

She needs to go out with the bug in the foreskin guy.

91 2
heyitslexx 3

Haha I read that one yesterday!

6 2
FalconCrunch 4

Oh GOD. Their union would probably spawn forth some unimaginable terror that would end the world.

8 0
FajitaFreak 3

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

Show it anyway
19 42
Colonel_Lexi 18

Obviously you've never received any oral before.

25 2
DocBastard 38

Some people understand that sex isn't just about them, and they enjoy giving other people pleasure. If you don't like the fluids and such, try doing it in the shower the first time. It'll change your (and her) universe.

17 1
Crazberry 5

I used to think like that, then I discovered that being the one to drive your partner crazy with pleasure is quite addicting...

16 0
CadyAsInKatie 8

Exactly what I was gonna say, 98! I seriously thought I'd NEVER EVER do that, but when we did... >< it grew on me, ya know?

2 2
adamk1989 0

That really sucks bro. Tell her to shave that shit and get a gallon of douche!

0 26
twisted_cherub 14

NO! No douche. Frequent douching destroys the pH balance of a woman's system. Mild soap & a good spray from a handheld shower head work wonders, especially when done daily. Also helps to use better TP, trim the overgrowth, avoid massive intake of dairy products or foods with heavy dyes/preservatives/artificial flavors, eat plenty of red meat and fresh fruits (except citrus), and actually care about what your partner has to go through when they go down. Note: all this stuff applies equally to both sexes.

28 2
P_to_the_AM 9

Makes me wonder what the worst problems were... Thats just nasty!

0 2
SoultheWolf 19

That's ******* disgusting, she should really clean herself and shave her pubes...

6 8