By mrricecakes - 23/03/2012 05:55 - United States - Gilbert

Spicy
Today, I went down on my girlfriend for the first time. Let's just say pubes and toilet paper residue were the least of my problems. FML
I agree, your life sucks 53 391
You deserved it 5 230

Same thing different taste

Top comments

Should have used charmen toilet paper, no little white pieces left behind

frozenfreeze 5

They were the least of your problems?...Were there dragons and dead rats down there too?

Comments

Bekavera 4

That's f_cking nasty....she had to have known, or she just didn't care that she has crotch rot....poor guy...

mom2five 0

Poor you, she had to of known and didn't care. Time to find someone else who takes care of their body!

Um that's actually really dirty... Tell her to clean the beast :)

frozenfreeze 5

They were the least of your problems?...Were there dragons and dead rats down there too?

Haha no, but dragons woulda made things interesting! Well my biggest problem was having to explain why I wouldn't start. I mean you can't just say 'babe your ****** is freaking nasty, blah blah'.. It's just hard to say it without hurting feelings/self esteem which made things so awkward haha

I feel sorry for you man. I dont know how anyone can let themselves get so dirty and overgrown. I feel like a damn cave woman if I don't 'groom' for a week, let alone let tp fuzzies exist. its actually quite painful =

it all adds to the flavour... shows she cares...

Your username really fits the FML haha

TheEpicMilkMan 13

your going to need therapy after the tragedy she has brought upon you D':

Totally agree, never see her the same EVER

I know how he feels, i have been in the similar boat as him, exept my ex doesn't shower either FML

Next time run her a romantic bath, lit candles, bubble bath, perfume, etc and then have your way with her.

chum_mum 7

Yeah but BEFORE you have your way with her you throw that bitch in the bath and make her scrub out her mother ******* placenta OR throw a big ass bar of soap at her forehead and tell to use it...the nasty stank bitch....

thiscrazything 1

Wtf, chum mum? Oh, never mind you are right, because that's the way we should treat the people we love. Hopefully that was just sarcasm, and your not really that much of an ass.

um, chum_mum, you can't scrub out a 'mother-******* placenta' unless ops girlfriend is pregnant, even then it's not possible... also, she obviously doesn't mind having pubic hair as she's left it there (I personally think it's rank but if it's a must for then at least keep it trimmed and at bay) but toilet paper? eugh! I dread to think that he saw poop marks!

linkinpark98 23

chum_mum... You're a horrible person.

Damn it's been moderated. I take it was nasty from your responses lol

Best response ever! No insult, yet clean genitals. I did not know men thought like this.

thiscrazything 1
mya1234 4

yea before you start going down there wash her up

dkboo863 0

Apparently the wookie rolled around in lint, but sorry bro thats nasties thing I've heard