Intimacy: Dirty talk

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 803

You deserved it 10 200

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Same thing different taste

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 747

You deserved it 4 437

By Oops - 25/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - Belmore

Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 725

You deserved it 1 469

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 725

You deserved it 5 663

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 407

You deserved it 10 011

By justagirl - 02/12/2014 05:40 - United States - Roseville

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 291

You deserved it 2 748

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 857

You deserved it 1 777

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 984

You deserved it 4 299

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 644

You deserved it 9 529

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 740

You deserved it 6 206

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 16:02

were u wearing a strap on?

okieraider71 4

Sunday 14 March 2010 16:10

Penis envy.

Comments

sabatical 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 18:21

easy there Trent reznor

deathisaponu 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 18:24

you may be a lesbien

ftwemo 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 19:04

bend over and spell run haha are you sure you are a woman?

ghostwitch1863 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 19:26

up , **** that 13 year old.. justin bieber is a fag! what boy likes him?

bmalley 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 19:42

don't feel so bad, some chick said that to Elvis in one of his shitty black

ezrl_ritvoi 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 19:50

youve got a finger... that could work... and when you French your tongue goes inside him...

gaymergurl510 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 20:10

lol he might like it

Melvar_10 3

Sunday 14 March 2010 20:18

HAHAHA I'm guessing at one point in your life, you were a man

middlefingerYOU 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 20:59

hahahha aww is ok everybody says stupid shit in the heat of the moment.

yogibear01 0

Friday 19 March 2010 23:31

u r hot but I don't want u inside me but maybe the other way around? haha

Squeezeit 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 21:10

peg him! you know he wants it

Keywords

Weird Miscellaneous Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Racism Family Kids AITA Love Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Mental health Psychology Health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I was running to my car, slipped, and slammed my head on the car door. I started driving to the hospital because it was bleeding profusely and I was dizzy, I called my mom to tell her what had happened. She said I was grounded for "goofing off" and that she was "sick of my shit". FML

I agree, your life sucks 98 339

You deserved it 7 901

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 006

The Top

Today, I was fired because a 10-year-old shat his pants and couldn't follow directions. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 623

You deserved it 3 072

Today, I took the 6 year old I'm babysitting to the mall to see Santa after weeks of her begging. We got there in time to see him get out of his Prius and dress in the parking lot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 113

You deserved it 3 228

Today, I took some heavy pain medication before calling my boyfriend. I don't remember the call, but apparently confessed to really liking corn, and faking orgasms. FML

I agree, your life sucks 50 400

You deserved it 15 808

Today, I was driving home through the middle of nowhere when a screw punctured my car tire. I arrived at the town's only auto shop to find that it had closed early. Frantic, I dialed the emergency number listed on the shop's locked door. On the other side of the glass, a phone began to ring. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 925

You deserved it 3 614

Today, I had an unexpected sneezing fit and drove my car through 2 trees and a fence. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 099

You deserved it 245

Today, I discovered that when I sleep, I go to the bathroom to poop and don’t flush the toilet. I live with three roommates who all wake up before I do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 741

You deserved it 332