Intimacy: Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I... - FML

By Oops - 25/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - Belmore

Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 724

You deserved it 1 469

Labour Day: Rest or Disaster?
Find out how a day off can turn into a series of hilarious, unexpected events. More…

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Same thing different taste

By Anonymous - 01/04/2011 04:32 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were lying in bed together, and I was in a snuggly mood. I rolled over to gaze lovingly into his eyes and whisper sweet nothings to him in the darkness. His response? "Dear God! Did somebody fart in your mouth?!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 727

You deserved it 36 347

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 855

You deserved it 1 774

By sarajj - 29/03/2013 21:36 - United States - Littleton

Today, I felt frisky, so I went over to my boyfriend's place, hoping to have some fun. I brought over a movie, and part-way through it, I started feeling him up. He responded by sighing, "That's really fucking annoying, babe. Cut it out, yeah?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 42 676

You deserved it 9 280

Classy

By Anonymous - 12/01/2013 20:12 - United Kingdom - Bristol

Today, I spontaneously poured my heart out for my boyfriend, telling him how much I love and adore him. He answered by leaning in close, saying, "Jolly good" in an affected accent, and burping loud and clear in my ear. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 479

You deserved it 5 080

By DreeStahr - 30/09/2016 04:05 - United States - Liberty

Today, I was texting my boyfriend and things were getting a little steamy. He said, "I really want you right now." So, of course, I told him to come over. To which he replied, "Nah." FML

I agree, your life sucks 13 891

You deserved it 1 377

By MulticoloredSlug - 13/10/2016 10:57 - United States - Philadelphia

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting heated. We were having a lot of fun until I decided I wanted to be on top. He instantly got soft. FML

I agree, your life sucks 12 412

You deserved it 1 406

By Anonymous - 06/10/2011 15:23 - United States

Today, while my boyfriend was asleep, I gave him a soft kiss and whispered how handsome and gentle he looked. His response, still asleep, was to roll over and let out a massive fart. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 876

You deserved it 11 301

By Anonymous - 06/10/2014 23:41 - United States - Los Angeles

Today, I was giving my boyfriend a massage. I guess I hit the spot, because he muttered, "Please marry me" into the pillow. Considering we've been going out for years and had spoken about marriage before, I stopped in my tracks. He stammered, "Oh, I mean... Not like that. Will you keep going?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 876

You deserved it 4 552

By Anonymous - 22/03/2013 23:21 - Canada - Oakville

Today, I was feeling a bit insecure about my body, and I told my boyfriend I don't know how he can even stand to have sex with me. He replied, "I know, right?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 393

You deserved it 19 262

That's nice

By Anonymous - 04/06/2021 18:01 - United States - Angier

Today, I told my boyfriend of 3 years that I wanted to marry him someday. His response was, "Oh, OK, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 799

You deserved it 165

Next

Top comments

junjunbun 28

Friday 24 February 2017 14:03

I don't know why, but i find that adorable for some reason.

Tripartita 44

Friday 24 February 2017 14:27

I'd love if this exchange continued. "You're quite welcome." "It means a lot when you say things like that to me." "Well, that's why I say them." "So, shall we have sex?" "Oh, gosh, why?"

Comments

junjunbun 28

Friday 24 February 2017 14:03

I don't know why, but i find that adorable for some reason.

Tripartita 44

Friday 24 February 2017 14:27

I'd love if this exchange continued. "You're quite welcome." "It means a lot when you say things like that to me." "Well, that's why I say them." "So, shall we have sex?" "Oh, gosh, why?"

manofmerr 27

Friday 24 February 2017 18:11

From what i understand, this is how british **** works.

manofmerr 27

Friday 24 February 2017 18:11

From what i understand, this is how british **** works.

manofmerr 27

Friday 24 February 2017 18:11

From what i understand, this is how british **** works.

manofmerr 27

Friday 24 February 2017 18:12

And now i know how that happens.

zyero 9

Friday 24 February 2017 15:46

Because I'm feeling rather randy darling, was I too forward?

trumpet27 1

Friday 24 February 2017 21:10

Yes You were way too forward

trumpet27 1

Friday 24 February 2017 21:11

?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!?!

jcash52426 5

Friday 24 February 2017 21:55

Comment moderated for rule-breaking.

notmyfam 10

Saturday 25 February 2017 0:17

This one definitely needs a follow up!

Taurus_ChicKa 36

Sunday 26 February 2017 6:40

By sexually innocent, does that mean he's a virgin or just shy? Regardless, it gave me a chuckle!

lexyrebele 3

Sunday 26 February 2017 16:50

Aww this is so cute!

jaydoo 6

Monday 13 March 2017 18:19

Did you then enter her and experience mutual ecstasy?

jaydoo 6

Monday 13 March 2017 18:21

Was it sweet?

ElizibethRose 4

Monday 22 January 2024 13:55

I find this sweet

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I was with my boyfriend. He got up, shut the blinds and turned around to say, "I don't usually shut the blinds, but no one can see this." Assuming we were going to have sex, I took my pants off. He asked me what I was doing, then sat down to eat an entire tub of ice cream. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 263

You deserved it 2 123

Today, despite the fact that I'm happy and in love, my spiteful brat of a 12 year-old keeps spreading hateful and disgusting lies about my boyfriend doing unspeakable things while I'm away on business. Her dad told me he's reporting my boyfriend to the police. FML

I agree, your life sucks 150

You deserved it 569

The Top

Today, I was able to find the Facebook profile of my ex-boyfriend’s girlfriend, for whom he left me for. I had been curious about who she was, and when I zoomed in on her profile pic of them together, I noticed she was wearing the ring he'd got me for Christmas and that I'd given back to him. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 782

You deserved it 890

Today, I admitted to my SO that I wanted to kill myself. They told me it was abusive to tell them that, and claimed I was just using it as a tool to control them. What they don't know is I attempted it by overdosing the other day. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 202

You deserved it 235

Today, my daughter used her spare key to get into my house while I was at work, then took and pawned off all of my jewelry. She only confessed when I confronted her with video camera footage. Her defense was that I told her I'd leave her everything in my will. Honey, I'm not dead yet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 51 976

You deserved it 5 291

Today, I realized that my addiction to YouTube true crime had gone too far when I immediately though, "Dead body!" when I came across a seemingly abandoned suitcase outside my building. It's only when my neighbor came outside to pick it up that I stopped calling 911. FML

I agree, your life sucks 171

You deserved it 1 021

Today, my 2 year relationship ended when my boyfriend accused me of stealing his beanie hat. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 433

You deserved it 2 254

Today, I got a call about my dog who went missing a week ago. The guy who called said "We have your dog, but you aren't getting her back." Then he hung up. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 658

You deserved it 2 899