Intimacy: Dirty talk

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 07:54 - United States

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 803

You deserved it 10 200

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Same thing different taste

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 747

You deserved it 4 437

By Oops - 25/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - Belmore

Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 725

You deserved it 1 469

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 725

You deserved it 5 663

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 407

You deserved it 10 011

By justagirl - 02/12/2014 05:40 - United States - Roseville

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 291

You deserved it 2 749

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 857

You deserved it 1 777

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 984

You deserved it 4 299

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 644

You deserved it 9 529

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 740

You deserved it 6 206

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 16:02

were u wearing a strap on?

okieraider71 4

Sunday 14 March 2010 16:10

Penis envy.

Comments

novakman 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 16:54

well op you can be a boy if you want to be, as the saying goes, it's easier to build a tower than dig a tunnel. ;)

dynky 3

Sunday 14 March 2010 18:57

the saying goes the other way. FTM SRS is much more difficult than the other way around.

Guerilla8 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 17:06

Surprise buttsecks?

alethedude 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 17:13

ouch.. did he hear you? bc it's ok if you just kinda whispered it and he didn't hear you

FMLrockzdude 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 17:25

awkward...... and just explain to me what you would put into him..... =P

rockstatic 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 17:39

So what? You're used to hearing that phrase in relation to sex. Is there a problem?

scratchy209 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 17:45

maybe you meant to say "I want You inside me" but it came out wrong? o.O

buttshapedfruit 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 17:45

lmfao!! WTF! haha did u mean u want him inside u? lmao

aardvarkish 15

Sunday 14 March 2010 17:59

Beautiful, just beautiful.

kristina2987 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 18:06

Hahaha! Hm... Interesting.

buahaha 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 18:12

I'm a woman and I see nothing wrong with it! I have guys I have been with that are totally into that type of canoodling. ;) #44- I concur.

Keywords

Miscellaneous Weird Shopping My ex Awkward Relatable Family Racism Love AITA Kids Cheating Work Break-ups Cats Cute Animals Intimacy Sex Relationship advice Coworkers Alcohol Psychology Health Mental health Neighbours Cops Scary Stressed out Parents

The Top

Today, I needed emergency work on my house, so I’ve been taking wine, beer, and chocolates to my neighbours as an apology for the noise and dust. Later, one of the husbands came round and punched me for showing him up, because he hasn’t given his wife chocolates in years, so she’s mad at him and he blames me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 566

You deserved it 95

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting it on. At one point, he started to kiss my ear. Then, he stopped, went into the bathroom, and came out with about four Q-tips. He then said to me, "Just take care of your ears, then I'll continue." FML

I agree, your life sucks 860

You deserved it 2 006

The Top

Today, I crashed my motorbike and broke both my arms. I now have to rely on my mom and aunt taking turns to do everything for me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 867

You deserved it 247

Today, I was in English class when I had to use the bathroom. As I was signing out, the teacher said, "Don't forget the hall pass!" It was a plunger. I had to walk across the school with a plunger. FML

I agree, your life sucks 28 467

You deserved it 5 244

Today, I accidentally took an Ex Lax instead of an Immodium. It's gonna be a fun night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 681

You deserved it 311

Today, I had a talk with my orthopedist about getting back to fitness training. However, according to her, all my favorite exercises, although taught to me by professionals, are "things one should never do" and "very very bad". FML

I agree, your life sucks 774

You deserved it 101

Today, I was playing what became an extremely intense game of hide-and-seek with my best friend's sister. I finally found the perfect place, so I slid down into the bath and began to cover myself. She popped up out of nowhere and said, "FOUND YOU!" I got so scared that I punched her in the face. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 769

You deserved it 8 107

Today, my mother has stooped to a new level of "hiding" Christmas gifts. She now just dumps them in the middle of the floor and says, "Don't look at them." If she even thinks I'm glancing in the direction of the pile, she will burst into a manic rage, and yell at me for "ruining the surprise." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 193

You deserved it 7 690