Intimacy: Dirty talk - FML

Dirty talk

By Anonymous - 14/03/2010 07:54 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was in bed with my boyfriend, in the middle of foreplay, and somehow out of my mouth came, "I want to be inside you." I'm a woman. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 803

You deserved it 10 200

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Same thing different taste

Repetition

By Fuck - 25/02/2015 21:39 - United States - Fowler

Spicy

Today, I had sex with my boyfriend. In the middle of it, he started saying in deep voice, "Enter, exit." Over and over. FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 747

You deserved it 4 437

By Oops - 25/02/2017 00:00 - Australia - Belmore

Today, my very quiet and sexually innocent boyfriend said, "I want to be inside you." I was so startled that all I could reply was, "Oh, thanks." FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 725

You deserved it 1 469

By dummy - 17/02/2012 00:03 - United States

Spicy

Today, my boyfriend and I were getting frisky in bed. He mumbled something that sounded like "I love you." I replied "I love you too baby", to which he laughed then said, "I said I wanted you to blow me." FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 725

You deserved it 5 663

Bad timing

By KrissyBearr - 31/12/2011 01:36 - United States

Spicy

Today, while having sex, I told my boyfriend that I loved him. I could feel him go soft inside me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 49 407

You deserved it 10 011

By justagirl - 02/12/2014 05:40 - United States - Roseville

Spicy

Today, while in bed with my boyfriend of 2 years, he mentioned what it would be like if he had sex with anyone other than me. I mentioned the same about him. He quickly yelled, "No, you're a woman. You are mine!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 41 918

You deserved it 5 886

By Anonymous - 19/01/2016 11:03 - United Kingdom - London

Spicy

Today, I was having sex with my boyfriend. It was all going great until he decided to try talking dirty. His idea of this was moaning loudly, "Just what the pussy ordered" as he entered me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 291

You deserved it 2 749

By Anonymous - 28/05/2017 20:00

Today, my boyfriend and I were finally alone and things were starting to get intimate. I was on top of him trying to be sexy, when in my excitement I giggled and called him a "silly girl" by accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 3 857

You deserved it 1 777

By Anonymous - 27/02/2015 19:37 - United States - Roseville

Spicy

Today, while having sex, my fiancé started talking dirty. I enjoyed it, until he had a brain fart and said, "God, you love fucking my pussy." FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 984

You deserved it 4 299

Superfuzz Big Muff

By miiiiilk - 05/12/2010 11:12 - United States

Spicy

Today, as my boyfriend was about to go down on me, he held his breath and said, "I'm going in!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 644

You deserved it 9 529

By Anonymous - 21/09/2011 13:17 - United States

Spicy

Today, I was making out with my boyfriend, and started to climb on top of him sexily. He blurted out, "Oh my god, you're like that girl from The Ring." FML

I agree, your life sucks 36 740

You deserved it 6 206

Next

Top comments

johnnyexpl0sion 0

Sunday 14 March 2010 16:02

were u wearing a strap on?

okieraider71 4

Sunday 14 March 2010 16:10

Penis envy.

Comments

sidvoltaire 0

Monday 15 March 2010 10:14

I'd have dumped your ass.

jjone47 2

Monday 15 March 2010 13:58

I get so turned on when a guy says that to me, that I think she most likely just verbalised what she was imagining him saying

Angeledice 0

Wednesday 17 March 2010 13:29

Agreed! Still, would like to know what his answer was!

butterflyhearts 0

Monday 15 March 2010 18:16

LOL! She wishes she had a penis to **** her boyfriend because he's JUST that sexy?!?

burge23 0

Monday 15 March 2010 22:08

oh god! I've said that exact same thing! I'm a girl too!!!

xForeverLifeless 0

Monday 15 March 2010 22:12

Uhm..Ok..

ckrebbs 0

Monday 15 March 2010 22:44

cristallynn your so hot.

picturescrazy 24

Monday 15 March 2010 23:04

Haha, I say that too, but to be funny :]

thecatsmeow_xx 9

Tuesday 16 March 2010 9:58

This made me LOL. because sadly, My boyfriend says this all the time. "I want you inside of me." I still yet to know if he's joking or not...

Sprocket 5

Tuesday 16 March 2010 13:15

Uh, no they should NOT die. Go get educated, you sexist and apparently transphobic person. You will be happier when other people's inate traits don't bother you so much.

mickeyymouse 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 16:11

WTF is wrong with you?!?! sexist bastard. Burn. In. Hell.

mickeyymouse 0

Tuesday 16 March 2010 16:14

that was to number 139

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The Top

Today, I summoned up the courage to tell my crush how I've felt about her for the past two years. I really poured out my heart and soul, and she nodded and smiled throughout. Once I'd finished, she told me that she believes "sex is unnatural", and that she could never date a guy who wanted it. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 271

You deserved it 4 534

Today, my mother texted me while I was at work asking me to pick up a door-stopper on my way home. When I asked her why she explained that she and my dad were trying to make love but the dog kept pushing the door open. What an image. FML

I agree, your life sucks 43 478

You deserved it 3 719

The Top

Congratulations. You played yourself.

I agree, your life sucks 257

You deserved it 120

Today, my son broke his hand when he and his best friend had the genius idea of punching each other in the fists as hard as they could. FML

I agree, your life sucks 32 581

You deserved it 3 781

Today, I was sitting in the break room when my boss came in and yelled at me about a mistake. Because I've worked in customer service for years, I instinctively responded with, "I'm terribly sorry to hear that, sir. I hope you'll still consider us in the future." FML

I agree, your life sucks 5 883

You deserved it 888

Today, I tried a new productivity hack of setting multiple alarms to remind me of tasks. Instead, I spent the entire day in a cacophony of alarms, confusing myself to the point where I forgot what I was actually supposed to be doing. FML

I agree, your life sucks 194

You deserved it 524

Today, I finally got the courage to tell the girl I like how I feel. She instantly burst out laughing and said "A crush? Dude, what are you, 12?! Hahaha!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 521

You deserved it 6 305

Today, it was my birthday. Two of my best friends forgot it, and so did my grandparents. All of my friends were busy, so I spent it alone in my car. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 107

You deserved it 114