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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, it hit me that my dad didn't cry when I moved out, he did so only when I came back later to pick up my cat. FML

#6761317
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24226) - you deserved it (2793)

On 12/15/2009 at 3:50am - animals - by number2 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my mother thought it would be okay to take my camera and erase all of my pictures that included my graduation, party, and my sisters wedding. Her excuse? "We need more room for Katie's birthday." Katie is our pet cat. FML

#6721090
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32622) - you deserved it (3573)

On 12/12/2009 at 10:41am - animals - by Kelsie (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I took the dog for a 45 minute walk/jog. She sniffed everything on the ground like she always does. She marked her territory twice and we finally got home. As soon as I took her off the leash inside she ran to the kitchen and took a dump right on the kitchen mat. FML

#6706699
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24173) - you deserved it (3165)

On 12/11/2009 at 8:17am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found myself locked out of my house. I had to squeeze myself through a tiny window around the back. While hanging upside down, my hood fell over my head. My dog ran through to investigate the noise and ravaged me thinking I was a burglar. I then fell and broke my wrist. FML

#6691654
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25755) - you deserved it (4641)

On 12/10/2009 at 6:47am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Stoke-on-Trent)

Today, my dog received a christmas card before I did. FML

#6678775
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26897) - you deserved it (2948)

On 12/09/2009 at 10:33am - animals - by amywee (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, I was cleaning out my new guinea pig cage for the first time because one of them had babies last night. After using a spatula to shovel up the 3 inch layer of crap and placenta, I decided to hose it down. The hose came on so hard, it sprayed the dung and birth water all over my face. FML

#6674325
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11304) - you deserved it (25536)

On 12/09/2009 at 12:07am - animals - by poohead (woman) - Australia (Queensland)

Today, while driving, I witnessed the neighbors dog viciously shaking a black cat. So I slammed on the brakes and jumped out of the car, frantically chasing around the huge dog screaming "Help, someone please help!" I finally managed to tackle him and release the cat. It was a stuffed animal. FML

#6659884
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11035) - you deserved it (29058)

On 12/08/2009 at 1:26am - animals - by damncat (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to my grandmother's house to pick up her cat for the vet. She forgot who I was and sprayed me in the face with pepper spray. FML

#6658784
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32026) - you deserved it (1977)

On 12/08/2009 at 12:16am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was doing homework in my room when my roommate started meowing all of a sudden. Not only was he meowing, he started to make loud cat noises that resembled a cat being run over by a car. He's gonna be my roommate for the rest of the year. FML

#6646444
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26986) - you deserved it (2913)

On 12/07/2009 at 3:54am - animals - by SeeMeInTheDark (man) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I realized I've lived alone too long. I read 'How the Grinch Stole Christmas' to my cat. I used expression in my voice, and I made sure he could see the pictures. My son called, and I told him about it. He gave me the number for the local psychiatric ward. FML

#6625843
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24170) - you deserved it (8690)

On 12/05/2009 at 11:30pm - animals - by JC (woman) - United States (Iowa)

Today, I was standing in a long line at the Post Office when my 3 year old son starts rubbing up and down my leg. I asked him what he was doing and he said loudly. "I'm humping you like Simon humps me!" Everyone looks at me in shocked horror. Simon is our dog. FML

#6620817
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30344) - you deserved it (2782)

On 12/05/2009 at 7:04pm - animals - by Sissy (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, we brought our Christmas tree inside to decorate. We decorated it, then went out to dinner as a family. Returning 2 hours later, we came back to find our living room to be occupied. Not with people. The tree had been filled with baby spiders, and they were all over the living room. FML

#6609748
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32673) - you deserved it (2910)

On 12/05/2009 at 12:15am - animals - by Worsttreeever (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, I saw a moth trapped in a spider web. Feeling gracious, I gently freed it, and then took it to the window to let it out. When I opened the window to set him free, my $300 air conditioner fell two stories and smashed on the sidewalk. The moth flew away. FML

#6598965
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11948) - you deserved it (30984)

On 12/04/2009 at 12:23pm - animals - by oops (woman) - United States (Utah)



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