Today, I came home from college to find my favorite silk nightie that I'd left behind being modeled by Bernie, the family dog. Nobody will admit to who put it on him. I don't know what's worse, that my family is a bunch of assholes, or that my nightie is big enough to fit a Saint Bernard. FML
Collection
Fall
Dead leaves, the first cold of the season and an umbrella flipped inside out: fall, the season of grace.
Today, I was house-sitting for some friends of my grandparents while they are out of town. While I was in the shower, the dog decided to take my dirty underwear and run. There is now a pair of lacy, black underwear hidden somewhere this giant house, and they return tomorrow. FML
Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML
Today, I got home to find a pair of my dirty underwear (that were in the dirty clothes basket) in the middle of the living room. I must be delicious, because my dog was licking them. This isn't the first time this has happened. FML
Today, I had my boss and his family over for dinner. Our kids played while waiting for dinner to be ready. Just as we were sitting to eat, our 8-year-olds ran out and my son says "Look at Baxter! I found underwear with a tail hole!" They had found my crotchless panties and put them on the dog. FML
Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML
Today, my girlfriend told me she was coming over for a surprise visit. I quickly tidied up, but not before shoving all my dirty laundry under the bed. When she arrived, she brought her dog in. Her dog immediately sniffed out the laundry and dragged my most embarrassing underwear into the living room while her parents watched. FML
Today, I thought I was home alone so I went to take a shower and left my door open. My dog came in, stole my bra, and ran out of my bathroom. I jumped out and followed him, only to find out that my brother had two of his friends over. They all saw me naked, and my dog had my bra in his mouth. FML
Today, I lost the beautiful necklace my boyfriend gave me for Valentine's day. I looked everywhere, and couldn't find it. My sister held the bag while I dug through the stinking trash, then after I cleaned everything up, took it out of her pocket and said she was pretending it was lost. FML
Today, I discovered that my dog is an aspiring underwear designer, her latest project being creating crotchless underwear. Mine seem to have been used as prototypes. FML
Today, my neighbours watched and laughed as I chased my dog around the lawn, trying to rescue the only clean pair of underwear I had in my house. FML
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Top comments
windycityassasin 6
Maybe the dog just wanted to feel sexy
LiterOfCola 16
Bernie is proud to fit into such a small size though.. I say they did a good deed boosting his confidence
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Comments (88)
windycityassasin 6
Maybe the dog just wanted to feel sexy
justonecomment 2
That sounds **puts sunglasses on** ruff.
chell1894 13
Hey, at least he didn't chew/destroy it. My dogs favorite "toys" are my expensive bras and panties and once in a great while a pair of jeans. I guess the lace feels good on his gums..
Drigr 9
For someone not here for cybersex you're pretty okay with talking about your lacy unmentionables.
chell1894 13
There's a huge difference between wanting to have cybersex/sending nude pictures and making a comment about my panties and bras (which shocking as it may be every girl wears) that is completely relevant to this fml. So yeah.. Maybe your comment would have made sense if I started talking about bras and panties out of the blue...
wellfuuucckme 7
Oooooh guuuurl
daminantion 14
Don't worry chell, he's a 19 yr old who creeped your profile to send you a nude pic expecting an MSN link for webcam, lol.. Meddlin' kids!
the_enigma1019 1
Someone is making a statement about your appearance.
LiterOfCola 16
Bernie is proud to fit into such a small size though.. I say they did a good deed boosting his confidence
missamazinggg 12
What's wrong with being a little Husky?;) EDIT: that was for the FML below. My mistake.
jezane 9
Bernie, just casually strutting his stuff around the house.
CrewBoy 10
Your family is a bunch of assholes for playing a prank? Get a sense of humor.
KiddNYC1O 22
It's her favorite silk nightie!
Futacy 30
That prank you're talking about wouldn't be so bad if the dog wasn't wearing her (quote): "favorite silk nightie". Do you know how expensive silk can be? [EDIT: Heh Heh, I spoke too early, looks like KiddNYC10 beat me to it.]
CrewBoy 10
It never says that that the nightie ripped or ruined. The dog is simply wearing it. As long as its not ruined where the **** is the harm?
Futacy 30
10- You've made a valid point, but you need to remember that dogs also have fur and fleas, they lick themselves, and they are washed once a month. NOT exactly what I'd like my fine silk clothing to come in contact with. And unless I'm mistaken, I don't think you can wash silk the same way you can wash cotton.
KiddNYC1O 22
How would you like it if your favorite nightie was on your dog and when you retrieve it all you see is smeared shit all over it? Edit: Lol. Now you beat me to it! ^
CrewBoy 10
You just hand wash silk. It's not that bad to clean. I still think its a harmless prank and she's taking it a little hard. She doesn't sound like a fun person.
justonecomment 2
10- I don't know about you, but I wouldn't want a dog wearing my clothes. Prank or not.
cmyk 19
You never washed silk have you #24..?
Warden1986 16
#24 of course you don't see the problem. Your a ferret wearing a hoodie.
chell1894 13
I think op is more upset at the fact that her family showed her that she's the same size as the large dog. I mean that would make more sense to me. My dogs sleep with me if someone put my favorite clothes or nightie on them I would just say "very funny now take it off." I wouldn't think it's fml worthy
SmallBean 12
Chill out crewbrah, just let this chick react to her fml situation. You are making a big deal about her making a big deal. Let's just live and let live, you fluid brah?
CrewBoy 10
Yes, I have my girlfriend owns a few silk items and her dog threw up on them so I have had to wash silk before. It takes a while but it's not that bad.
ohSNAPyall 27
I wouldn't want family members going through my underwear drawer.
betteryouthanmee 3
I agree with 59, that was incredibly hurtful and her family should apologize.
xInwex 12
I'd be pissed too, silk is expensive. I say steal your family's favourite clothes and hide them until someone confesses.
nogood9 4
Why put that nice silk garment to waste while you're at college?
Warden1986 16
By the way, the white stains that are on the nightie are slobber stains right?
laurenlovesjb 20
Wear the nightie before its washed around your family. You'll smell so bad that they'll be sure to never do it again for fear of having to smell a dirty nightie that smells like dog.
EyesofStone 27
If your dog smells that bad, he is in desperate need of a bath.
smallshaft 10
I would much rather have a family member smelling like a foul dog than a Family member that is a JB fan.
rachelmcdome 0
There's nothing wrong with JB.
Jakespeed207 4
Everything is wrong about JB.*** ^there, fixed that for you.
herpderpherpderp 13
I'm not a fan of Bieber, but why hate him? if you don't like his music or what he does, than don't pay attention to him or listen to his music. simple :)
gracehi 33
Agreed, 62. The only thing more obnoxious than a hysterical Justin Beiber fan is a Justin Beiber hater. "Oh my God! Human beings exist that like something I dislike! I should talk shit to them every time I encounter them!" Bitch, please. Get a life.
ambear26 14
Guys I thought we covered why she liked JB ? If she likes him she likes him you can't change her decision.
unknown_user5566 27
Am I the only one who would've found this funny? As long as it wasn't ruined, I think that would make for a good memory.
Axipiter 24
THANK you! I don't know the first thing about silk, or "nighties", but I laughed SO freaking hard at this! Frankly, I find dogs wearing clothes hilarious in general!
SanpakuEyes 18
I thought it was hilarious! I pictured the nighty as pink with some frilly lace. :D
Ghostlyness 7
I've got to be honest, it is funny. Horrible, but funny nonetheless.
dreamer9614 3
But most "silk" nighties ARE NOT silk. They're either a silk blend or straight up not silk. Real silk lingerie is very expensive ( think AP not VS) and I personally wouldn't have left that at home..... However if it were real I'd be pissed
actnjakson3000 0
Hilarious. I couldn't help laugh every time she put it on thereafter
tnlander 20
Your dog is bringing sexy back.
Futacy 30
...after OP killed it.
I_iz_B_a_troll 24
Movin' like Bernie.
BekBek_fml 17
start putting your family's undies on your dog, hopefully someone will confess in an attempt to get you to stop. MUAHAHAHAAAA