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Man or woman?

Today, my mom's dog saw a cat in our yard. I watched as he tried to jump at it, only to smack face-first into the window. He did this twice more before curling up on the floor and whimpering pitifully. When my mom came in and saw him there, and me laughing, she accused me of beating him. FML

#20822442
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43016) - you deserved it (6488)

On 08/05/2013 at 5:36pm - animals - by Anonymous (man) - Sweden (Dalarnas Lan)

Today, I stepped out of the house for some fresh air. It was still dark out, so imagine my horror when I accidentally stepped on a frog. It squealed for a split second before being crushed beneath my uncovered foot. FML

#20822322
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42237) - you deserved it (5987)

On 08/05/2013 at 4:21pm - animals - by traumatizedforlife (woman) - United States

Today, my boyfriend's parents found out we had a sleepover while they were on vacation. His dog had retrieved the underwear I had unknowingly left and brought them to his mom. FML

#20821459
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34451) - you deserved it (15580)

On 08/05/2013 at 1:28am - animals - by fetch boy.. - United States (New York)

Today, I got several noise complaints from various neighbours about my "dog that won't stop barking". I don't own a dog, my neighbour owns the noisy dog. She sent me a complaint as well. FML

#20820030
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (54961) - you deserved it (7262)

On 08/04/2013 at 7:21am - animals - by Barking Mad - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my hamster had babies. I came home just in time to witness her kick the mutilated bodies of her two babies out of her house, then crawl back in and go to sleep. Now my sister refuses to touch her and calls her a "baby-eating demon." FML

#20818742
112 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39830) - you deserved it (3696)

On 08/03/2013 at 1:59pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, I took a run in the woods. Almost halfway through, I started to feel like I was going to faint. I was so dizzy that my sight was getting blurry. I went to sit down on what seemed like a rock. It wasn't a rock. It was a huge snapping turtle. FML

#20812086
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48428) - you deserved it (5403)

On 07/30/2013 at 7:19pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

Today, I bought a device that plays a high-pitched sound to teach my dog to quit barking. She's smart enough to learn that as long as she barks loud enough and long enough, she can't hear it. Quite the opposite effect to what I was anticipating. FML

#20811031
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40812) - you deserved it (5767)

On 07/30/2013 at 2:42am - animals - by Bug8Frog - United States (Alaska)

Today, I was reading in my apartment. Due to a heatwave and my lack of AC, I was completely naked. My cat jumped onto my lap, and as her claws dug into my stomach, I recoiled. This caused her to retreat, clawing at my nether regions in the process. My pussy mauled my pussy. FML

#20810087
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48404) - you deserved it (10815)

On 07/29/2013 at 5:18pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I tried to help a bird who had broken his wing. I walked straight into a door while looking down at him in my hands, and ended up all but breaking his other wing. FML

#20809873
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37037) - you deserved it (10868)

On 07/29/2013 at 3:11pm - animals - by TehUglyLife (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my family and I went to feed carrots to the giraffes at the zoo. After I finished my first cup of carrots, I turned back to get some more. Suddenly, I was jerked back and a chunk of my hair was ripped out. The giraffe mistook the orange barrette in my hair for a carrot. FML

#20809312
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41259) - you deserved it (8918)

On 07/29/2013 at 4:19am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I woke up on the last day of my vacation at the beach to find that my dog had chewed a hole in the wall of my rented house, 2 hours before the owner arrived to check for any damage. FML

#20809073
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38033) - you deserved it (5809)

On 07/29/2013 at 1:08am - animals - by feelgood - United States

Today, my mom confessed to loving my "little sister" more than she loves me. My "little sister" is the family dog. FML

#20808417
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47873) - you deserved it (3495)

On 07/28/2013 at 6:34pm - animals - by the un-loved child - United States (California)

Today, my horse farted and scared itself, then ran all the way up the hill and wouldn't stop until I fell off. FML

#20807336
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42518) - you deserved it (3251)

On 07/28/2013 at 12:28am - animals - by mishyb (woman) - United States (Colorado)



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