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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me over a stupid argument, but after a long day we made up and got back together. Not long afterwards, my friend called, feeling guilty and confessing that he had sex with her after finding out she'd dumped me. FML

#21332729
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38995) - you deserved it (3142)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:37pm - love - by Anonymous - Guam

jojimugo's comment : She just wanted to fuck that dude guilt free with the loop hole of we we were not dating .... Sneaky bitch

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Today, one of my friends posted on Facebook saying if you're held up at an ATM, putting your PIN in backwards will alert the cops. I pointed out it's an urban legend, and asked how it'd work if their PIN was the same backwards. He drove over and beat the crap out of me. FML

#21332664
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34333) - you deserved it (5122)

On 01/07/2015 at 12:07pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (New Brunswick)

BubbleGrunge's comment : Sounds like your friend has more problems than worrying about being robbed at the ATM. Actually, he may be the robber at the ATM.

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Today, my scumbag landlady broke into my place and stole my mop, which I refused to give her earlier. She denied everything and tried to convince me that some criminal broke in using a key, stole only my mop, and was nice enough to lock up on the way out. FML

#21332650
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29538) - you deserved it (2331)

On 01/07/2015 at 11:29am - misc - by Anonymous - Sri Lanka

NevermoreRoses's comment : "Which I refused to give her earlier" I feel like there's an entire magical mop-related backstory that the public has to know, damnit!

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Today, I was having a cheat meal after 2 weeks of strict dieting. When I opened the pizza box, I saw a cockroach. It'd been baked into the cheese. FML

#21332565
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34440) - you deserved it (6664)

On 01/07/2015 at 7:11am - misc - by ijustwantpizza - Australia (Queensland)

Today, I thought one of my flatmates was beating his girlfriend, so I barged in about to stop him. Turned out they were having really rough sex. FML

Today, I had a sneeze attack while my nose was bleeding. Now my living room looks like a crime scene. FML

#21332502
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33752) - you deserved it (2792)

On 01/07/2015 at 2:07am - misc - by MonsterProblems (woman) - Croatia

Today, I got stuck in an elevator. I called the fire department and told them where I was. They said they'd be right there and not to panic. It's hour 6. FML

#21332463
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33136) - you deserved it (2035)

On 01/07/2015 at 1:03am - health - by random875 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I asked my boyfriend how he felt about me and he said, "You're the hottest seven I've ever met." FML

#21332358
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29188) - you deserved it (3608)

On 01/06/2015 at 10:54pm - love - by LadyNexus (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I spent an hour in a snowstorm waiting for my bus to show up. After I got fed up, I decided to just clean off my car and drive to work. After I was halfway finished swiping off the snow and ice stuck to my car, the bus drove right past me. FML

#21332250
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25939) - you deserved it (3797)

On 01/06/2015 at 8:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I finally met my long-distance boyfriend of three years for the first time in person. After an amazing dinner and movie date, we went back to his house, only for him to dump me half an hour later. Not because I wouldn't have sex with him. No, his cat doesn't like me. FML

#21332217
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30739) - you deserved it (7395)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:32pm - animals - by dragonfyre73 (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I moved into my new apartment complex. I left some items including a cherished painting my best friend made for me outside the front door while I moved furniture into my bedroom. When I went back outside, someone had kicked a huge hole in the painting. Welcome to the neighborhood. FML

#21332211
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27168) - you deserved it (3646)

On 01/06/2015 at 7:26pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I was working out on a horse farm. I slipped and fell on some ice, whacking my head on the metal gate in the process. As I was getting up, I accidentally grabbed the electric fence. FML

Today, anticipating another stressful day of work, I went to leave my house with a cluster of thoughts in my mind. It was only when I heard my front door lock behind me, my hand still resting on the handle, that I realised I had forgotten my house keys. FML

#21332094
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24633) - you deserved it (3113)

On 01/06/2015 at 3:57pm - misc - by trixanne (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)



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