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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, it's the first day of fall. It's also the day that over 20 people have made jokes about my name being "Autumn" like they're the funniest, most original people alive. It's not even 8 am. This is going to be a long day. FML

#21263689
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31394) - you deserved it (2886)

On 09/23/2014 at 8:00am - work - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

greatfirstdate's comment : Aw :( I'm sorry. It's a really gorgeous name, though.

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Today, I got home from a long day at work, hoping to just fix dinner and relax, only to find that my cat had come into the house with a rabbit, and is now stuck underneath the cabinet. FML

#21263396
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27395) - you deserved it (2491)

On 09/22/2014 at 9:04pm - animals - by madisonbubch - United States (Kentucky)

Today, my boyfriend couldn't go on a date with me because his mom said no. He's 23. FML

#21263362
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (267) - you deserved it (4216)

On 09/22/2014 at 8:23pm - love - by Serire (woman) - United States (Michigan)

Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

#21263186
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32261) - you deserved it (2796)

On 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by WhiteCaribbean (man) - Saint Lucia (Castries)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33797) - you deserved it (2562)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

mt631's comment : Use their shirt instead.

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Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40031) - you deserved it (4719)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

cjwayy's comment : Ooh, what a twist of fate!

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Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32832) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34792) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
114 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37492) - you deserved it (4555)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29602) - you deserved it (12437)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

#21262754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31592) - you deserved it (6381)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm - love - by thnxbabe -

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

#21262712
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31043) - you deserved it (2259)

On 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm - misc - by ohtheirony -



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

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FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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