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Today, at work, I had to tell a woman that there is no such thing as a "pedigree Beahuahuadoodle", and that she'd essentially paid $500 for a mutt. FML

#21348955
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28284) - you deserved it (2333)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:26am - animals - by dogbreederssuck (woman) - United Kingdom (Lancashire)

nchic01's comment : what?! tell that to my pedigree labraeagleman! i paid a fine fortune for him

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Today, I was in charge of taking a delivery of new office chairs for the meeting room at work. The delivery men took the old chairs, but left without delivering the new ones. I can't get in contact with them, and we have a big meeting first thing tomorrow. FML

iop330's comment : Well on the bright side your chances of a standing ovation have never been higher.

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Today, as I passed by the window that looks out on to my front yard, I saw a man out there so I ran to the kitchen to call the police. The operator asked me to describe the man. It was then that I realized the mysterious man in my yard was the snowman I built yesterday. FML

#21348837
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16009) - you deserved it (29335)

On 02/03/2015 at 2:50am - misc - by anon - United States (Illinois)

Welshite's comment : Frosty is always watching.

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Today, my girlfriend thought it would be sexy to give me a naked massage. She straddled my back and started rubbing, then she sneezed and peed on me. FML

#21348755
122 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40120) - you deserved it (4161)

On 02/02/2015 at 11:36pm - love - by bootyislife - United States (Washington)

Today, I stole my brother's fuzzy slippers for the day as I usually do. Too bad he had been anticipating this and had left a mouse trap in one of them. FML

#21348664
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14776) - you deserved it (40118)

On 02/02/2015 at 10:14pm - health - by toe - United States (New Hampshire)

Today, my boss informed me I couldn't go on my "vacation" because he's leaving for one of his employees' weddings. That just so happens to be my wedding, for which I'm taking the vacation. FML

Today, my wife's boyfriend learned that you can't flush condoms. FML

#21348539
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43088) - you deserved it (2578)

On 02/02/2015 at 6:59pm - intimacy - by StantheMan93 (man) - United States (Ohio)

Today, my boyfriend "accidentally" had sex with my roommate. FML

#21348376
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43849) - you deserved it (3198)

On 02/02/2015 at 2:34pm - intimacy - by itsemilyc - United States (Michigan)

Today, I thought I would treat myself to a shave and a haircut at a proper barber, instead of just a haircut at Supercuts. After many "Oops", "Sorry", even an "Oh dear", I left with no hair cut, and blood streaming from multiple slices in my face from the shave. I think one might need stitches. FML

#21348311
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33020) - you deserved it (2698)

On 02/02/2015 at 12:38pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my boss told me they were letting me go because they "could no longer afford to pay me." Never mind the catered lunch they had the day before, which cost more than a week's worth of my salary. FML

#21348253
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30872) - you deserved it (2071)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - work - by Not Worth a Lunch - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my coworker said that she suddenly got the shivers. I jokingly told her that it meant she must be being watched by a dead person and made stupid ghost noises. She then told me it was the anniversary of her dad's death and burst into tears. FML

#21348221
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32397) - you deserved it (12871)

On 02/02/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by pinecones (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I started getting calls from gay men looking for anonymous kinky sex. It turns out that my coworker has been posting my personal information in Craigslist Personals section as a prank. My wife doesn't believe that my coworker is such an asshole. FML

#21348144
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31273) - you deserved it (2018)

On 02/02/2015 at 1:41am - work - by CalledOut (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that my 2-year-old brother is afraid of his own penis. Whenever he doesn't have a diaper on, he screams, cries and yells, "Ew". FML

#21347945
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29979) - you deserved it (2450)

On 02/01/2015 at 7:43pm - health - by okseñoryoucrazy - United States (Washington)



Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML

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  • Mathilde Morieux's illustrated FML
  • Madonna must be the only person breathing a sigh of relief right now thanks to all the idiots arguing about the colour of a dress. Thanks to a badly-lit photograph, everyone seems to have forgotten that she super…

Friday 27 February 2015

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