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Today, I was at the reading of my grandma's will. Apparently I was removed from it some time ago, and the £2,500 I would have gotten went to my cheating bitch of an ex-fiancée. It seems my grandma adored her, and never forgave me for "driving her away" from the family. FML

#21184361
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44858) - you deserved it (4248)

On 06/22/2014 at 4:06pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Hampshire)

Today, I came back home after a year studying abroad. Imagine my surprise when I found out my mom had gotten breast implants while I was away. All through dinner, I kept catching myself staring at them. No wonder my dad was so much happier than when I left. FML

#21184159
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38248) - you deserved it (4262)

On 06/22/2014 at 12:34pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I came home and found that my home had been robbed. The worst part? One of the thieves took a dump in my toilet and didn't flush. It doesn't even look human. FML

#21184110
191 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44649) - you deserved it (3217)

On 06/22/2014 at 11:10am - misc - by paywithpoop - United States

Today, my dad thought it would be funny to spray my open window with the hose. RIP my laptop, phone, school books, wooden desk, my entire bookshelf, and my carpet. FML

#21183828
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52032) - you deserved it (4328)

On 06/22/2014 at 1:27am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

VasilisaUzhasnaj's comment : I hope your dad agreed to replace everything he damaged!

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Today, while in the yard, my 18-month-old son decided to take off running into the road, where a car was driving. I rushed after him, only for one of my dress straps to suddenly break without warning. It must have looked like I was trying to flag down the driver with my flailing tit. FML

#21183414
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41250) - you deserved it (5206)

On 06/21/2014 at 7:14pm - misc - by icandothecancan - United States (Oklahoma)

cjmedic's comment : Calm your tits.

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Today, my friends thought it would be funny to slip a condom under my pillow at boot camp. The staff found out, I got bitched out for 30 minutes straight, and now I have to put a condom on the grip of any rifle I'm issued for a week. My new callsign is "Love Glove". FML

#21183341
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41902) - you deserved it (4125)

On 06/21/2014 at 5:42pm - misc - by LoveGlove (man) - Canada (Alberta)

mclauren29's comment : Well love glove, it looks like it's time for some pay back.

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Today, my dad heard that the guy who bullied me at school died recently of a drug overdose. For some reason, he thinks we were actually best friends, and thinks I'm doing drugs too. I'm now not allowed out of the house except to go to school. He won't listen to a word I say. FML

#21183278
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43941) - you deserved it (3294)

On 06/21/2014 at 4:32pm - misc - by kay-z (man) - United States

Today, I stubbed the same toe three times in fifteen minutes. How? My sister moved most of the furniture in the house to the left by a few inches, because she thought it would be funny to watch me get confused and suffer. FML

#21183245
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43756) - you deserved it (6110)

On 06/21/2014 at 3:57pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Australia

Today, I heard my husband say from outside, "Seriously Dan, what could go wrong?" This was followed a few seconds later by a bang and screaming. Turns out he'd tried to smash his head through a wooden plank like a martial artist and failed. He ended up with splinters and a concussion. FML

#21182978
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39108) - you deserved it (4427)

On 06/21/2014 at 11:15am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I got hit by a car while walking into the hospital to visit my wife, who had also gotten hit by a car. FML

#21182903
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56388) - you deserved it (4332)

On 06/21/2014 at 8:50am - health - by anon - United States (New Jersey)

Today, while ringing up a girl, I asked for an ID to verify her credit card. She said she forgot it but pulls out her Facebook on her phone to show me it really is hers. FML

Today, my mother came over to check on my new kitten while I was at work. She took a video of the kitten playing on my bed and climbing on my nightstand. Right on top of my vibrator I forgot to put away. I'm not sure if she noticed or not but she's certainly been showing the video around. FML

#21182483
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42002) - you deserved it (12711)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:48pm - intimacy - by misoranomegami (woman) - United States

Today, after being a vegetarian for 5 years, I found out that my boyfriend of 2 years has secretly been feeding me meat. His reason is that he thinks it's "funny" that I still call myself a vegetarian afterwards. FML

#21182417
203 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (8350)

On 06/20/2014 at 10:04pm - misc - by secret meat (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)



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