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Today, as I wandered through the streets of an unfamiliar city, I spotted a cop and darted across the street to ask for assistance. He kindly gave me directions as he wrote me out a citation for jaywalking. FML

#21230350
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36443) - you deserved it (8826)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:46pm - misc - by spekledworf (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

equitationbound's comment : There's a cop for you.

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Today, I picked up an extra shift at the store. It was also the day the store's ventilation system shut down, resulting in carbon monoxide poisoning for me and two co-workers. FML

#21230314
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37560) - you deserved it (2499)

On 08/05/2014 at 6:44pm - work - by cutthroatkait (woman) - United States

CrassKal's comment : I'm glad you're in good enough health to post this FML.

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Today, I found out that if you wake your 7-year old sister up by plugging her nose, you'll wake up the next morning, taped down and unable to move as she pours ice water on you. FML

#21230047
153 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24438) - you deserved it (51197)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:51pm - kids - by Anonymous - Canada (British Columbia)

uhhSavage's comment : I don't see how you couldn't deserve this, lol.

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Today, since I work at a doughnut shop, I came home smelling like fry oil and had bits of sugar on me. My boyfriend told me he loves having sex with me right after I get off work. He said its like having sex with a hot doughnut. FML

#21230044
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44153) - you deserved it (6870)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:48pm - intimacy - by donutsex (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I asked my 8-year-old daughter to kill a house spider for me. I am a 42-year-old man. FML

#21229943
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36020) - you deserved it (16332)

On 08/05/2014 at 8:31am - kids - by ihatespiders (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, my brother decided our bathroom needed a clock so he used an old DVD player. He put it on the edge of the tub. FML

#21229931
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35653) - you deserved it (3241)

On 08/05/2014 at 7:55am - misc - by Anonymous - Egypt (Al Qahirah)

Today, on a flight, I needed to use the restroom. The passenger next to me was in a deep sleep, and was very large, so I couldn't get out by climbing over him. The urge got severe, so I resorted to tapping him on the shoulder. Turns out he had some nice reflexes and hit me in the face. FML

#21229781
71 comments

Today, I was shopping when I suddenly slipped on the wet floor and my basket and my groceries were flung everywhere. Moments later, one of the cleaners walked over holding a "wet floor" sign, saw me and laughed. FML

#21229760
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39760) - you deserved it (3084)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:52am - misc - by ms98 - Australia (South Australia)

Today, my boyfriend laid his head on my bare chest and said, "You're like my mother." FML

#21229751
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41378) - you deserved it (3520)

On 08/05/2014 at 12:40am - love - by motherlover (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, my blind date turned out to be my gynecologist. FML

#21229613
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47463) - you deserved it (3699)

On 08/04/2014 at 10:00pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I found out the hard way that no good girlfriend-boyfriend conversation ever started with, "Suppose I slept with your best friend..." FML

#21229506
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39142) - you deserved it (7876)

On 08/04/2014 at 7:04pm - love - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I posted an ad online for house cleaning services. So far, all fifteen responses have been solicitations for sex. FML

#21229459
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (3619)

On 08/04/2014 at 5:54pm - work - by notthenaughtymaid (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I asked my mom about signing up for an online dating site. She took one look at me and said, "Why get rejected online when you can just go outside for the same?" FML

#21229228
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37478) - you deserved it (3805)

On 08/04/2014 at 11:08am - misc - by baebookboo - United States (Kansas)



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