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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up loudly screaming from a "night" terror. I say "night"; I was actually at my desk at work, in the middle of the day, surrounded by dozens of co-workers in their cubicles. FML

#21193942
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34339) - you deserved it (9590)

On 06/30/2014 at 3:51pm - work - by Whoopsie (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my towel was stolen at the swimming pool. I quickly found the culprit, and to avoid a conflict, I just swiped it back when he wasn't looking. I felt pretty good about everything, until I got back home and realized it wasn't actually my towel after all. FML

#21193691
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25500) - you deserved it (37635)

On 06/30/2014 at 12:19pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Illinois)

thomcmoore's comment : So you left that poor guy high and dry? Well, maybe not dry...

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Today, my daughter asked me how long she had to put her 2-minute noodles in the microwave for. FML

#21193510
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40683) - you deserved it (6878)

On 06/30/2014 at 7:40am - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - Australia (Western Australia)

BBlah's comment : How old is she?

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Today, I sped off down the road, then realized to my horror that my cat was clinging to the roof of the car. FML

friedpwnadge's comment : Today, your cat was not a pussy.

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Today, I donated to a charity website. My card was repeatedly refused by the website but when I went on my account, I was charged for each time I tried. I was scammed by a charity. FML

#21193277
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49672) - you deserved it (7807)

On 06/30/2014 at 1:02am - money - by Charitable (woman) - United States (California)

Today, after working the night shift, I accidentally left my iPod at the office. I woke up later and went on Facebook. To my dismay, I saw some coworker had posted stuff on my wall, such as, "I really have to take a shit!" and "Yes, my tits are real!" FML

#21192976
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39168) - you deserved it (10569)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:25pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I found out that the lump under my carpet that I stomped on to flatten was actually a dead frog that had gotten caught in the wrong place at the wrong time. FML

#21192954
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39989) - you deserved it (6455)

On 06/29/2014 at 9:05pm - misc - by Unknown - United States

Today, I tried to be seductive to get intimate with my boyfriend. He commented on how sexy I looked, and how badly he wanted me, then asked me to move because I was blocking the TV, and the World Cup match he was watching. FML

#21192852
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40781) - you deserved it (14388)

On 06/29/2014 at 7:14pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, after leaving my mom's house, I got 4 text messages from her about how I was a terrible person for not saying goodbye to my sister when I left. The "sister" she was referring to is the family dog. FML

#21192815
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39235) - you deserved it (4169)

On 06/29/2014 at 6:28pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my mom told me to take out the trash. I thought it would be a good idea to Hulk-smash it into the can. I missed. The bag ripped and garbage flew everywhere. FML

#21192717
87 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21219) - you deserved it (54811)

On 06/29/2014 at 4:37pm - misc - by whoops (man) - United States (New York)

Today, my wife has a bruise on her cheek from a nasty trip while practicing her yoga. She now thinks it's hilarious to flinch in public when I get near her, and keeps telling people she "walked into a door". I've gotten more dirty looks than I can count. FML

#21192543
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (59609) - you deserved it (4611)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:26pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Nevada)

Today, after nearly three weeks of hard work, I finally completed my best drawing yet, a self-portrait. I was incredibly excited to take it to class tomorrow. That is, until I came home from a walk later on, only to find my brother had drawn a stick figure on it, wanking into my face. FML

#21192529
75 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42044) - you deserved it (3866)

On 06/29/2014 at 1:08pm - work - by ~~~ (woman) - Australia (South Australia)

Today, less than a week after ranting to my husband about how sick some people are to sexualize characters from kids' TV shows, I looked through his browser history and found out he's very much into Powerpuff Girls porn. FML

#21192500
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40318) - you deserved it (8121)

On 06/29/2014 at 12:18pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Arizona)



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