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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I found out my fiancée's been cheating on me. Her excuse? Her ADHD made her do it. FML

#21257049
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39327) - you deserved it (3078)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:36pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

briang959's comment : Alternate Dick Holding Disorder?

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Today, some assface hacked my recently deceased friend's Facebook account. The person changed my friend's location to "Hell", then posted a status saying how hot the weather was, and replied "I wish :'(" to someone who'd said my friend was in a better place now. FML

#21257037
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43128) - you deserved it (2711)

On 09/12/2014 at 5:11pm - misc - by he's not the one going to hell (man) - Australia

GroupWorkSucks's comment : Some people are just unbelievably shitty. Sorry OP.

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Today, my college did a fire drill, and instructions were given by intercom in English and Spanish. The guy beside me mused: "If they say it in English and Mexican, why not say it in Black too?" That guy is my idiot brother, and he was dead serious. Sometimes I think our parents are related. FML

#21257016
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35272) - you deserved it (2921)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

RageWolf16's comment : Sometimes I wonder how people get into college. I'm so sorry OP, your brother sounds like a moron.

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Today, my car was stolen from my driveway. I reported it to the police, the insurance company, and my neighbors, and begged for help via social media. As I walked to catch a bus, I saw my car parked outside my school. I forgot I left it there last night. FML

#21256874
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20125) - you deserved it (40644)

On 09/12/2014 at 10:32am - misc - by uppiskalle - United States (Rhode Island)

Today, I had to take my husband's laptop to University for an in-class exam. I opened the screen, and loud porn started to auto-play. The silence in the class was deafening as I tried to make it stop. FML

#21256842
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44006) - you deserved it (5528)

On 09/12/2014 at 9:17am - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Florida)

Today, at the restaurant where I work, a guest choked on a bone from her crosscut ribs. She asked me to bring the manager over, so I did. When he got there, she complained that the bone could have seriously injured her, and we should be more careful of where we put the bones in the ribs. FML

#21256772
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39161) - you deserved it (2560)

On 09/12/2014 at 4:05am - work - by Diachronic (man) - United States (Idaho)

Today, my daughter was going to Bulk Barn so I asked her to pick me up something to snack on. When she got home, she brought over a bag and without listening to her explain what it was, I began eating it. She looked at me confused, then began laughing. It was a dog treat. FML

#21256734
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19886) - you deserved it (25505)

On 09/12/2014 at 1:50am - misc - by oops... - Canada (Alberta)

Today, I confiscated a 1st grader's cell phone. It was better than anything I could come close to affording. FML

#21256659
152 comments

Today, I entered the lecture hall where my class takes place. I sat in the front row as usual, but I noticed that none of the other students looked familiar. I quickly realised that I was in the wrong class after a different professor showed up and told me to get out. FML

Today, I watched with mild confusion as a piece of paper tucked underneath my windshield wiper flapped around on the highway. What could it be? Surely not a parking ticket. Powerless, I watched it fly away. It must have been the insurance information for the person who swiped the back of my car. FML

Today, I was driving to the DMV to take a test, after getting some points removed from my license. On the way there, I got a speeding ticket and got my license suspended completely. FML

#21256258
99 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17254) - you deserved it (46427)

On 09/11/2014 at 11:44am - misc - by hockusa3 - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was watching "My Strange Addiction". The woman featured ate rocks. While judging her weird habit, I realised I was chewing on a coat-hanger the whole time. FML

#21256247
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31781) - you deserved it (11728)

On 09/11/2014 at 10:57am - misc - by ayeayeboy19 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)



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  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

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