Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML

Today, I'm still not living in the house I fought so hard to buy three months ago. As I was fixing a hole in the wall, I found black mold covering the back side of my drywall. On every wall. I can't afford to fix it. FML

by Sad_homeowners / 10/20/2016 at 11:45am / United States (South Dakota) / Money

RichardPencil's comment : Sorry to hear your house burned down. Hope you can get a nice replacement with the insurance money. Oh, it hasn't happened yet? Shhhhhhh!

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Today, my parents finally took me driving after months of me having my permit. I got yelled at for asking questions. I only needed to know which way they wanted me to turn on the next street after they told me to turn, but not which way. FML

by pleasedontyellatme / 10/20/2016 at 11:19am / Miscellaneous

Today, I angrily waved away an annoying fly with a large knife. I stabbed myself in the shoulder. FML

by knifewow / 10/20/2016 at 4:30am / Australia (Queensland) / Work

Today, during my shift as a vet nurse, I picked up a gorgeous cat for cuddles, only to discover it was covered with pee. And now I am too. I still have 4 hours of my shift. FML

by Anonymous / 10/19/2016 at 6:54am / Australia (Queensland) / Animals

Today, I spent the first night in my new home as a first-time homeowner. I was relaxing and enjoying the feeling of having my own space when I reached over to get my glasses and came back with a cockroach. FML

by WhyGodWhy / 10/18/2016 at 2:33am / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, the store I work at got shut down and I got let go. Three days ago I got a promotion and a raise. FML

by unemployed / 10/17/2016 at 8:05pm / United States (Texas) / Work

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for refusing to give a found credit card to a woman it didn't belong to. FML

by I hate retail / 10/17/2016 at 6:12pm / United States (Arizona) / Work

Today, one of my friends bought a wedding dress for her upcoming wedding. My other friend intends to propose to her boyfriend and ordered rings. I too made a purchase: a pair of socks for myself. FML

by PairOfSocks / 10/17/2016 at 4:55pm / Finland (Western Finland) / Love

Today, I did a piano audition for a musical. Afterwards, the judge asked if I have experience with percussion, and then told me she was considering me for a percussion part. I guess my piano audition really was THAT bad. FML

by pianoblues / 10/17/2016 at 4:22pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous

Today, the person I was seeing asked to be just friends. A few hours later, they tried to talk me into having sex. FML

by genderless / 10/17/2016 at 3:34pm / South Africa (Gauteng) / Intimacy

Tripartita's comment : "As much as I appreciate the offer, would you mind doing it yourself? You know, like, go fuck yourself."

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Today, I discovered that my roommate is a drug dealer and has been keeping her product in our flat. I discovered this when several police officers broke down my bathroom door and arrested me while I was in the shower. FML

by wreckdit / 10/12/2016 at 7:55pm / United States / Miscellaneous

paris_ava's comment : And to think she had the audacity to not offer u any...

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Today, my boyfriend heard me confessing my undying love to someone while we were skyping. He's now convinced that I was talking to some other guy and had forgotten to mute my phone. I was talking to my cat. FML

by ripmylife / 10/10/2016 at 1:53pm / Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen) / Love