Today, I went to my boss with concerns that my manager is dumping her responsibilities on me. He agreed and told me to just do whatever she wants. She gets paid twice as much as me to talk on her cellphone all day. FML
by raquelcita / 08/26/2016 at 2:05am / United States (Florida) / Work
by anon... / 08/26/2016 at 12:10am / United States (District of Columbia) / Love
fordneagles's comment : Always seems to be that whatever your SO is constantly accusing you of, they're almost certainly guilty of. Fucked up. You're better off OP, stay strong!
Today, on my second morning at college, I tried to make coffee using my Keurig. I realized after I got back from my shower that I hadn't put a cup under the machine. All 3 drawers of my dresser are now filled with coffee. FML
by cullenthegreat / 08/25/2016 at 12:26pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, I heard my dog chewing on something. I called her over, held out my hand, and told her to drop it. She dropped it into my hand, and I was proud of her. That was until I realized it was cat poop. FML
by Caqtusmonkey / 08/25/2016 at 11:28am / United States (Texas) / Animals
Today, I was taking a shower in a hostel when the girl in the cubicle next to mine decided to blow her nose onto the shower floor. The water from her cubicle was flowing into mine and I ended up standing in a puddle of fresh watery snot. FML
by LennyLemon / 08/25/2016 at 9:00am / Australia (Western Australia) / Miscellaneous
Today, I made quite an impression on my new bin men by forgetting to put the bin out 'til the last minute. I'm sure they enjoyed a good laugh at the woman in shorts, tank top and slippers struggling with a brolly as she slipped and slid while dragging her bin up a hill in a downpour. FML
by Impressionist / 08/25/2016 at 7:17am / United Kingdom / Miscellaneous
townyyy7994's comment : For those of you wondering, she's saying she forgot to take the trash out, so she had to do it just before the garbagemen came. In the UK, bin means trash/garbage.
Today, I decided to pop the question to my beloved. Perfect lighting, fresh cut roses, a fancy dinner. The restaurant was in on it too. Shame they brought out the wedding-themed congratulations dessert before I actually went down on my knee. FML
xMaeLA's comment : Well, did she say yes?! Damn cliffhangers!
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 11:50pm / United States (Indiana) / Miscellaneous
by FoodNeeded / 08/24/2016 at 10:24pm / Russian Federation (Moscow City) / Money
Today, our art teacher told us we will have to build a giant Coca-Cola bottle made of smaller ones as our art project for next week, meant to represent the damage consumerism does to our environment. I think he doesn’t understand we will have to buy tons of Coke to get the bottles needed. FML
by Earthling / 08/24/2016 at 10:20pm / Colombia (Distrito Especial) / Work
Today, I helped my orchestra teacher out and played with a double quartet for a faculty meeting. When it came time to introduce us, he called out the names of the seven other students and then admitted in front of everyone that he'd forgotten my name. I've been one of his top students for 3 years. FML
by theinfiniteend / 08/24/2016 at 7:59pm / United States (Illinois) / Work
by MrLonelyHertz / 08/24/2016 at 7:41pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous