Today, my electric razor broke down during shaving. So now I have a face which is shaved on the right hand side and has a beard on the left. I don't own blades, so I'll have to go to work looking like this. FML
by ItsGoneForever / 04/04/2016 at 1:58pm / Netherlands / Miscellaneous
ClockworkPoleaxe's comment : This does razor question. Why don't you have spares?
Today, I found out my mother drives my car. I was okay with it; I don't use it all the time and she's my mother. However, I was not okay with the multiple speeding tickets that came through in the post. "You're the registered keeper, so why should I pay?" FML
by NowBroke / 04/04/2016 at 5:38am / United Kingdom (Wiltshire) / Transportation
Shadowvoid's comment : I would speedily take the keys away from her and never allow her to drive again. You could lose your license from losing points.
Today, I noticed that both my managers completely ignored me when I told them that I'm fully booked, and can't take any more clients. Both of them scheduled additional clients. At the same. Three people from different companies will show up at my office at the same time. Yep. FML
by O / 04/03/2016 at 11:38pm / Sweden (Vastra Gotaland) / Work
CuriousSnail's comment : Are you a library? Because you seem booked. Ahhahahahahahhaha But, seriously, that sucks.
Today, I have always been terrified of stinkbugs. As I was cleaning out my horse trailer, I looked up and saw a stinkbug. In my startled attempt to turn around and run, I tripped, fell into an old plastic bin. I landed face first into a nice little pile of dead stinkbugs. FML
by mmaarrrggoo / 04/03/2016 at 11:19pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Animals
by anonymous / 04/03/2016 at 5:50pm / United States (Florida) / Health
by now afraid... / 04/03/2016 at 1:28pm / United States (Illinois) / Love
by emi / 04/03/2016 at 1:18pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Intimacy
Today, I asked my mom if she wanted to go wedding dress shopping with me today. She reluctantly said, "I guess". I showered, shaved and did my hair and makeup. When I came downstairs, she hadn't even brushed her teeth yet. "I'm just lacking motivation to go," she said. Glad you're so excited too. FML
by NotTheFavoriteChild / 04/03/2016 at 12:53pm / Love
by ktpnothappening / 04/03/2016 at 12:03pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Today, my girlfriend dumped me by text for another man while I was at work. While I worked the drive-thru, a customer noticed me choking back my tears and said "I'd be cryin' too if I worked your dead-end job." FML
by fuck off, for real / 04/03/2016 at 9:26am / United States (Kentucky) / Love
Today, I found out the real reason my dad bought a new car and generously gave me his old one. He knew the engine was about to fail and didn't want it to be his problem when it finally did. It blew out while I was driving at high speed on the motorway. Just my luck. FML
by Anonymous / 04/03/2016 at 5:46am / United States (California) / Transportation
Today, my girlfriend decided it was logical to accuse me of cheating because of the hundreds of emails I had from women wanting to meet up with me for sex. She had been looking in the "Spam" folder. FML
by fresh single / 04/03/2016 at 3:53am / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by cactusfears / 04/02/2016 at 3:48pm / United States (Kansas) / Miscellaneous