by 1942Ford / 05/07/2016 at 10:08am / United States (California) / Health
Today, while playing golf, someone broke my nose. The clubhouse calls an ambulance, and I go to hospital. I call my girlfriend to come and pick me up downstairs; she runs over my foot with her car. FML
Today, like any other day I moan after I sneeze. The only issue is that today my husband was on the phone with his grandmother, and had to explain to her, while trying not to laugh, that he wasn't having sex with me while on the phone. FML
by DeadLily / 05/07/2016 at 9:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by jameen / 05/07/2016 at 7:48am / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Intimacy
Ben_Dover831's comment : Tbh some people are just stupid af they sue for the dumbest shit ever. I remember a while ago a burglar broke in a house, got attacked by the owners dog, sued because the owner didn't have a beware of dog sign, and won the case like wtf is up with all this bullshit.
by 3,500 down / 05/07/2016 at 4:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money
justcommenting19's comment : No taxis, or other methods of transport? I seriously think you should've had a back up since we all know how unreliable buses can be sometimes... Really sorry OP.
Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2016 at 1:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Nati9876's comment : Everything was fine until he asked about foster care. Some people just don't like/ want children.
Today, I had to repeatedly explain to my nosy, interfering, clingy, no-concept-of-personal-space mom that I'm not okay with her moving into my new house, or the same neighborhood, or even the same goddamn state as me when I get married next week. FML
by kill me / 05/06/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by TriangularBanana / 05/06/2016 at 5:45pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, working as a veterinarian, I received a complaint from a client. He said I sucked at my job, purely because I implied he should have brought his severely ill cat in a lot sooner. Which he should have. FML
by lucywatson / 05/06/2016 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom / Work
- Today, after getting dumped by my boyfriend, I tried to find comfort in one of my closest friends.… Today, my boyfriend thought it would be funny to spank the ferret in bed and spray me while singing… Today, while at Wendy's with my boyfriend, I realized that he made more pleasure sounds when eating…