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Today, the girl I like finally replied to a text I sent a week ago. Her reply was: "Don't ever text me again, fuckface." FML

#21347694
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30466) - you deserved it (3675)

On 02/01/2015 at 9:59am - love - by FuckfaceSteve (man) - United Kingdom (Durham)

heyheyheyyall's comment : If she's that much of a bitch, it's a good thing you're not involved

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Today, my boss explained that the company will be letting me go. She got so upset that she couldn't leave her office and I had to console her. I had to make her feel less sad for laying me off. FML

#21347642
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28243) - you deserved it (2218)

On 02/01/2015 at 5:21am - work - by Anonymous - United States

feven's comment : Well then you must be a great employee OP. Hopefully you won't have much trouble getting a new job with a good recommendation

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Today, I got back from a two-day trip for which I'd left my husband and kids at home. There's fresh vomit inside of my oven, and my 4 year old son has a mullet. FML

#21347579
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32106) - you deserved it (3682)

On 02/01/2015 at 12:50am - misc - by neverleavingagain (woman) - United States (Texas)

wildgenius's comment : Well at least no one died.

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Today, I had food poisoning and woke up early in the morning to vomit. My mom emailed all of my teachers saying that I would be late to school because of "morning sickness". Thanks mom. FML

#21347496
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29966) - you deserved it (2142)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:43pm - health - by Lunab123 (woman) - United States (Maryland)

Today, I was in a heated debate about climate change. I got so flustered that I forgot the word "volcano" and ended up calling them "exploding mountain things". End of the debate. Shame. FML

#21347486
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27022) - you deserved it (6543)

On 01/31/2015 at 9:29pm - misc - by WalkTheOtherWay - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was at an interview for one of the top universities in the U.S. Everything was going great until I choked on my own saliva and almost threw up on the interviewer. FML

Today, I got hit between the legs with a kayak. FML

Today, I went to the mall with some friends. We all kept smelling this god awful B.O. smell and had no idea where it was coming from. On the car ride home, we all figured out it was actually me. FML

#21347237
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24742) - you deserved it (10075)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:13am - kids - by cooploops - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boss let me sit in on a board meeting. It was awesome until the guy next to me let out a vile fart, then looked at me in disgust, causing the others to look at me in disgust too. When I told my boss what really happened, he told me to grow up and stop blaming the other guy. FML

#21347235
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29255) - you deserved it (2390)

On 01/31/2015 at 10:08am - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, while shopping, my dad asked me to walk further away from him, saying I was cramping his style in front of all the chicks there. FML

#21347212
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25776) - you deserved it (2356)

On 01/31/2015 at 8:12am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Belgium

Today, I got married. My grandpa took me aside afterwards and said that the moment the ceremony was over, he heard my wife's vagina slam shut. "Welcome to marriage, sucker," he chuckled, "It's just you and Rosy Palm now!" FML

#21347104
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (2593)

On 01/31/2015 at 12:38am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after telling my husband he can send me dirty texts any time, he sent me one from work. It said, "Babe when I get home, I'm gonna go 9/11 on your pussy ;)". I'm still not sure he understands why that was so offensive. FML

#21347069
129 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26377) - you deserved it (5082)

On 01/30/2015 at 11:04pm - intimacy - by The Soul Of A Damned Queef (woman) - United States (California)

Today, when making a delivery for the restaurant I work for, a customer shoved and yelled at me because she didn't get any fries with her order. She didn't order any, which isn't unusual, considering we're a Chinese takeaway and don't even sell them. FML

#21347009
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27844) - you deserved it (1750)

On 01/30/2015 at 8:25pm - work - by Anonymous - Australia (Queensland)



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