Today, my sister called my Native American friend a bigot for saying he had no problem with the name "Cleveland Indians". FML

by ok then / 10/31/2016 at 11:55am / Miscellaneous

Today, at work, a guy tried to buy me for a dollar. I've only been there a week and it's the third time it's happened. FML

by meh / 10/31/2016 at 11:43am / Work

Today, it's Halloween and my boss changed his mind at the last minute, telling us we're no longer allowed to carve pumpkins in our lunch hour because, "It would be too distracting". What are we supposed to do with 12 pumpkins now? FML

by nohalloweenforus / 10/31/2016 at 11:22am / Work

Today, I adopted my second dog. When I called to tell my mom about it, she sternly told me that I was not allowed to get any more dogs. I'm 28 and own my own house. FML

by nomorepups / 10/31/2016 at 10:54am / Animals

Today, my girlfriend woke me with a surprise up on my birthday. Unfortunately, it was her screaming at the top of her lungs and punching me in the face because of a nightmare. FML

by happybidet / 10/31/2016 at 9:02am / United Kingdom / Love

2016/10/31
Blog

Today, while at my job in a candy store, a boy stuck his hand into the bin, contaminating the candy. As I politely explained that the dad had to purchase the affected candy he refused, yelled, then angrily agreed to buy them. The total cost of the candy with the extra pieces? $1.69. FML

by ilovemypup / 10/31/2016 at 7:20am / Work

mermaidkeels's comment : Sometimes I feel like parents throw more tantrums than their own kids.

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Today, my mom asked me if I was a lesbian because I haven't brought a guy home in over 7 years. Nope. I'm just a crazy cat lady, minus the cats. FML

by Crazy Cat-less Lady / 10/31/2016 at 12:38am / Love

Today, I got yelled at by a customer for saving them money. FML

by marenthehollow / 10/30/2016 at 8:33pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, an old man, while I was working, asked me to spell average-length words. Confused, I refused. Turns out I was apparently taking too long counting the large amount of small change he'd given to me, and he assumed I couldn't count or spell. I study law, and I've learned basic calculus. Welcome to retail. FML

by NoOrdinaryNZer / 10/30/2016 at 7:09am / New Zealand (Canterbury) / Work

Today, a customer asked for my manager's number, my bosses number, corporate's number and filled out a complaint form, all because we kindly asked him not to sit his kid on the counter due to safety concerns. FML

by jaa319 / 10/30/2016 at 2:35am / United States (California) / Work

Today, since I needed someone to talk to about it, I told my girlfriend how my dad was recently diagnosed with diabetes. My girlfriend's mother then told me, in graphic detail, how her father's diabetes led to his toes being hacked off. FML

by Deweyboy / 10/30/2016 at 12:23am / Health

Today, my office smells like a giant turnip green fart because of a sewage leak. FML