Today, I started work as the head engineer for a big civil engineering project. I met the rest of my team, in particular the environmental engineer who I'll need to get along with the most. As it turns out, I took her virginity when we were freshmen in college. She still thinks I'm an asshole. FML
I agree, your life sucks (6300) - you totally deserved it (16765)
On 01/25/2010 at 8:32am - love - by CivE (man) - United States (New York)
Today, my fiancée texts me while out at a restaurant. She told me that she saw one of my high school friends there, and that he asked "How's Douglas doing?". She then asked me who Douglas is. Douglas is my legal name. We've been together for over three years and she didn't know. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12374) - you totally deserved it (5721)
On 01/25/2010 at 6:06am - love - by Username - Sent from a mobile version
Today, I went to my step-sister's for family dinner. Her husband was really drunk and proceeded to openly hit on me in front of most of my family. I nonchalantly ignored his advances. Later, my step-mom said it would not have happened if I didn't dress like a skank. FML
I agree, your life sucks (15948) - you totally deserved it (2947)
On 01/25/2010 at 5:27am - misc - by irishbabycakes (woman) - United States (New Jersey)
Today, I woke up to my 2-year-old daughter hitting me in the face. She had just pooped her nappy and put her hands down her pants to "feel it squish around." FML
I agree, your life sucks (16275) - you totally deserved it (1439)
On 01/25/2010 at 5:18am - kids - by shitface (man) - Australia (Queensland)
Today, I found the Christmas 'newsletter' my mom sends out every year to our extended family and friends that details our activities and achievements of the past year. I wasn't mentioned once. FML
I agree, your life sucks (11855) - you totally deserved it (1594)
On 01/25/2010 at 4:32am - misc - by notworthy (woman) - New Zealand (Auckland)
Today, I was getting a pedicure, and they used some sort of scrubby thing that really tickled my feet. When I couldn't take it any more, I accidentally kicked the lady who was doing my nails in the face. FML
I agree, your life sucks (5629) - you totally deserved it (9840)
On 01/25/2010 at 1:33am - health - by nyu (woman) - United States (Missouri)
Today, I went to the grocery store, and I realized that all I bought was cat food and $30 worth of protein bars. Yes, I have become THAT single woman. FML
I agree, your life sucks (12683) - you totally deserved it (3757)
On 01/25/2010 at 12:33am - love - by Phoenix0614 (woman) - United States (Texas)
Today, I found out that you need to clean your car more often when you find a mouldy burrito under the back seat. FML
I agree, your life sucks (1587) - you totally deserved it (14302)
On 01/25/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by Username - United States
Today, I was talking this pretty religious girl that I like. We were playing a game and I asked her if she could go back in history and meet anyone who would it be. She said Jesus. Without thinking I said "I mean someone that was real." FML
I agree, your life sucks (7808) - you totally deserved it (19554)
On 01/24/2010 at 10:31pm - misc - by Ben (man) - United States (Connecticut)
Today, my parents had a huge fight because my mom found out my dad was cheating on her. They screamed for half an hour. Right in the middle of my wedding. FML
I agree, your life sucks (32555) - you totally deserved it (873)
On 01/24/2010 at 8:02pm - love - by weddingbells (woman) - United States (Virginia)
Today, to my surprise my girlfriend said, "I've never felt this way before." We have been dating for six months, and I knew that I loved her, so I replied, "Me neither, I love you." There was a long awkward pause. Turns out, she was talking about her abnormally painful period cramps. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16173) - you totally deserved it (1980)
On 01/24/2010 at 7:50pm - love - by dan (man) - Canada (Ontario)
Today, while babysitting, the little boy proceeded to explain to me why I was single, reasons such as 'unattractive' and 'not the girlfriend type'. I cried. FML
I agree, your life sucks (17108) - you totally deserved it (1947)
On 01/24/2010 at 6:58pm - kids - by owned (woman) - United States (Georgia)
Today, I was lying in bed throwing a football in the air and catching it. I missed a catch, and the ball hit me between the legs. I shoved my hands down my pants because it hurt, just as my step-dad walked into the room and saw me holding my crotch and moaning. FML
I agree, your life sucks (16959) - you totally deserved it (4937)
On 01/24/2010 at 5:24pm - misc - by Blah (man) - United States
