Today, my roommate left a bomb looking package of cookies on the kitchen counter. My sweet tooth got the best of me and I made that split second decision of, "Oh, I'll just have one." Halfway through it, I noticed the fine print, "For dogs" on the package. FML
by Sisi / 08/29/2016 at 12:49pm / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Vitani_Verci's comment : This is a lesson to not eat what is not yours, without permission OP. I also do not know how you did not realize it was for dogs just by the taste..
by MDoremis / 08/28/2016 at 3:24pm / United States (Hawaii) / Transportation
Today, on my way to work, I was checking my hair in the semi-reflective window of an office building. I suddenly realized that the guy I had a one-night stand with last week was standing on the other side, looking confused. He now genuinely believes that I am stalking him. FML
by YouWish / 08/24/2016 at 11:57pm / United States (South Carolina) / Love
Welshite's comment : Next you'll be checking your lipstick in the reflection of his car window. And using his bathroom mirror to check if you have spinach in your teeth. And practicing your smile in the dull reflection of his dead empty eyes for your next one night stand.
by ItnHmn / 09/16/2016 at 3:58pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Miscellaneous
Today, I took my wife to a country concert for her birthday, even though I can't stand country. While she had the time of her life, I was punched twice, had a beer dropped on me, and had a rather large, drunk woman fall on me. Happy birthday, baby. FML
by Senseless_487 / 09/16/2016 at 2:29pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
xxUnknown's comment : Anything to make the wife happy. You're a good husband (based on this post). The world needs more of you.
by polkadotpinup / 09/16/2016 at 1:22pm / United States (Arizona) / Work
by anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 10:33pm / United States (Florida) / Animals
by Anonymous / 08/24/2016 at 8:36pm / United States (Ohio) / Miscellaneous
by crazycatlady / 08/24/2016 at 5:43am / United States (Massachusetts) / Animals
Today, I found out that one of my colleagues believes that aliens built the pyramids. No amount of logical reasoning or evidence has had any effect on his argument of, "but you can't prove they didn't." FML
by Anonymous / 08/22/2016 at 7:49am / Australia / Work
Today, it was another stressful day of watching servicemen at my job trying to figure out what broke an extremely expensive and essential machine. I'm just waiting for the day they finally discover the earring I dropped into it about a week ago FML
by Girl w/ the Pearl Earring / 08/22/2016 at 7:46am / Australia (Western Australia) / Work
Today, it's my birthday and I'd invited quite a lot of my friends to come round and have some fun. When I got home, I saw a few cars outside. It turned out to be for the neighbours. I waited and waited; none of my friends showed up. FML
by Callum536 / 08/22/2016 at 5:51am / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Miscellaneous
- 1Today, someone stole my purse and phone while I was giving CPR to someone who had a heart attack on… 2Today, my boyfriend said I didn't give him enough attention because of my busy work life. So… he… 3Today, I was making the daily commute to work when suddenly my mother calls me, crying that there's…