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Today, I got my make-up remover wipes mixed up with my sister's self-tan wipes. I am currently watching my face slowly turn orange and there is nothing I can do about it. FML

#21420192
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25131) - you deserved it (5098)

On 06/03/2015 at 11:46am - health - by betterthanhodor - United Kingdom

GeorgiaBea's comment : Mix lemon and baking soda into a paste, let it sit for 5 mins then scrub your face... Should come right off.

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Today, I was working on a project in my schools library when a group of teenagers came in and began loudly talking and laughing. When I asked them to please quiet down, the librarian asked me to leave for being too loud. FML

#21420156
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24974) - you deserved it (2070)

On 06/03/2015 at 9:25am - misc - by NoUsernamHere - United States

cheeeksss's comment : I'm a senior in college and have only stepped foot in my library 3 or 4 times. I just lock myself in my room to study because sometimes I can't stand people.

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Today, I made a nursing home resident laugh so hard that he had a heart attack. FML

#21420106
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30440) - you deserved it (2781)

On 06/03/2015 at 6:15am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Indiana)

BadDay98's comment : I guess in this case laughter isn't the best medicine

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Today, I gave my girlfriend a hickey barely an inch from her vagina. She texted me later, saying her dad saw it and had grounded her. So yeah, I'm not sure I even want to know what the hell goes on in their house. FML

#21420087
164 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35725) - you deserved it (2540)

On 06/03/2015 at 3:22am - intimacy - by W T F (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, my roommate bitched me out over my "OCD" driving the water bill up. She takes hour-long showers, but apparently me flushing after peeing "wasteful" and a sign of a neurological disorder. FML

#21420064
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27105) - you deserved it (1676)

On 06/03/2015 at 2:03am - misc - by she has dumbcuntitis (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I'm warning you: never spoon naked with your girlfriend after eating taco bell. The shartpocalypse just might begin in her ass and end on your stomach. FML

#21420039
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29413) - you deserved it (3952)

On 06/03/2015 at 1:01am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my mother found my escaped pet snake after she had already washed and dried it with the laundry. FML

#21419928
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27992) - you deserved it (3716)

On 06/02/2015 at 9:34pm - animals - by Anonymous - United States (Ohio)

Today, my 14 years old brother and 9 years old sister were fighting. My brother said "You suck!" to my sister, and she replied with "You swallow!" FML

Today, I went to get my car washed at one of those places where you can watch through the glass. I watched in horror, face pressed against the glass, as my car went through with the window down. FML

#21419812
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22439) - you deserved it (14124)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by lanaoftherey - United States

Today, I got woken up and kicked out of bed. Apparently if I cheat in her dreams it still counts. FML

#21419795
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29980) - you deserved it (2625)

On 06/02/2015 at 5:02pm - love - by Jrex89 (man) - United States (District of Columbia)

Today, I realized the only way I can pay my bills this month is if I steal from my 8 year old's birthday money. FML

#21419713
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26468) - you deserved it (5673)

On 06/02/2015 at 1:58pm - kids - by Cammi0 - United States

Today, I sneezed and ended up in the emergency room. How? Apparently the sneeze dislodged a kidney stone that is now slowly, painfully working its way from my kidney to my bladder so that I can piss it out. FML

Today, one of my tires blew out on the highway. I managed to slow down and pull over without dying, and went to get my spare tire. I found it right where it was supposed to be, knifed to hell and with a taunting note from my psycho ex taped to it. We broke up nearly 3 years ago. FML

#21419681
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28029) - you deserved it (2759)

On 06/02/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Milo (man) - Mexico (Distrito Federal)



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