by Anonymous / 06/06/2016 at 12:57am / United States (Texas) / Love
ber4fun's comment : At least you got to spend it with someone you like. Just don't let your shy side completely take over when you see her again.
Today, I decided to get back in shape so I went swimming. I only managed 10 lengths and was completely out of breath. I was so embarrassed that when a lifeguard asked me if I was OK, I made up a story about a leg injury as a reason to leave only 15 minutes after I got in. FML
by fat teen / 06/05/2016 at 7:33pm / United Kingdom (Leeds) / Health
Itineranthuman's comment : I'm sorry it didn't end well for you, but seriously... good on you for picking it back up. Only an asshole would judge you for making the effort. One workout done, right?
Today, I'm so tired from constantly soothing my crying 2-month-old baby that I've started trying to soothe inanimate objects with baby talk when they make a noise. My fridge stated beeping and I began an involuntary chorus of, 'It's OK darling, shhhhhh, it's alright.' FML
by Babyhazy / 06/05/2016 at 5:52pm / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
ScratchCatPower's comment : "Hush little fridgey don't you cry, food loves you and so do I."
Today, a customer at work was having hiccups, so I suggest that she should try to hold her breath for a while. Ten minutes later, she's talking to my manager about how I wanted her to "kill myself because of my severe medical condition". FML
by really / 06/05/2016 at 5:40pm / Canada (Ontario) / Work
Today, a week after spending most of my paycheck on a down-payment and rent on a new apartment, I found out the "landlord" I paid was a scammer. Turns out the real owner was away on vacation, and he'd stolen most of her stuff before showing me the place. FML
by Scammed / 06/05/2016 at 2:26pm / Mexico (Baja California) / Money
by meish / 06/05/2016 at 9:16am / United States (Illinois) / Health
by Carnage23 / 06/05/2016 at 8:38am / Germany (Hessen) / Kids
by Dmessmer1 / 06/05/2016 at 4:37am / United States (Arizona) / Miscellaneous
Today, my best friend since first grade, who I've been in love with for years and finally hooked up with last week, asked me for advice. He wanted to know if he should start a long distance relationship with a girl he hooked up with last night. FML
by BG1059 / 06/04/2016 at 10:19pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, I was walking through a field with my boyfriend and he picked me some pretty flowers. I hugged him and leant in to sniff them. In doing so, I inhaled a bee up my nose and had to force it out my swollen nostril after it had stung me. FML
by lyinginbed / 06/04/2016 at 3:45pm / United Kingdom / Health
Today, I took my girlfriend to her ex boyfriend's apartment for her to exchange his spare car keys for some of her grandmothers items. I waited outside in the parking lot for an hour, with no idea which door was his. She came out no longer a virgin. FML
by Joey / 06/04/2016 at 2:52pm / United States (Armed Forces Europe, Middle East) / Love