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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

#21262754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31641) - you deserved it (6388)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm - love - by thnxbabe -

AnOriginalName's comment : I'm no expert, but that doesn't sound like much of a celebration to me.

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Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

#21262712
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31051) - you deserved it (2258)

On 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm - misc - by ohtheirony -

iloveanimeshow's comment : ask if his wife would like your number too

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Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34257) - you deserved it (6959)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

uniformed's comment : You are selling them so I'd say you are more of a perv

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Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35101) - you deserved it (2812)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (406) - you deserved it (7931)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom

Today, a guy told me I "kind of look like a girl" if he looked at me from the right angle. Well, I am a girl, and this is the closest thing to a compliment that I've gotten in years. FML

Today, I was having sex with this amazingly hot guy. Things got pretty intense, and right as I was about to orgasm, the gold crucifix came flying off his necklace and sliced my eyelid open. Message received. Well played, God. FML

#21262317
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39005) - you deserved it (5562)

On 09/21/2014 at 7:27am - intimacy - by Sinnersinner - United States (California)

Today, my fiancé and I were having sex in the early hours of the morning. He said "Morning sex is the best thing to wake up to." Without thinking, I responded "Yeah, unless you're in prison." He lost his erection due to laughing so hard and now can't look at me without laughing. FML

#21262210
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38101) - you deserved it (9775)

On 09/21/2014 at 1:11am - intimacy - by RuinedTheMood (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I had to stop at a gas station to go to the bathroom. A sign on the door told people to knock since the door didn't lock. As I was peeing, a lady walked in on me. Rather than simply saying sorry and shutting the damn door, she opened it wider and stepped in to apologize. FML

#21262000
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34219) - you deserved it (2391)

On 09/20/2014 at 7:39pm - misc - by rabid_otaku - United States (Illinois)

Today, I looked up my childhood bully on Facebook, hoping she'd gone fat and ugly. Turns out she's drop-dead gorgeous and very successful. FML

#21261760
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (172) - you deserved it (11065)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:28am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Sweden (Vastra Gotaland)

Today, my boyfriend has chipped his front teeth for the third time in 2 months. After refusing to tell me how this keeps on happening, I walked in on him throwing his phone in the air and trying to catch it in his mouth. FML

#21261750
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (224) - you deserved it (4270)

On 09/20/2014 at 11:03am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, my boyfriend asked me when I was going to shave my arms now that summer is coming in Australia. FML

#21261696
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30621) - you deserved it (5412)

On 09/20/2014 at 8:23am - love - by chubbyg - Australia (Victoria)

Today, my mother threw an egg at my face with force because I returned home 5 minutes late to dinner. FML

#21261625
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32367) - you deserved it (4859)

On 09/20/2014 at 2:54am - misc - by pasquale - Australia (New South Wales)



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