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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28157) - you deserved it (3463)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

igotds's comment : It's the THOT that counts

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Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26920) - you deserved it (1845)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

nchic01's comment : sounds like your mother is the one who needs the therapist

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Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
187 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43714) - you deserved it (2940)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Thenextguyover's comment : "Help! I've fallen into a vagina and can't get out."

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Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31073) - you deserved it (1961)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

#21382737
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28989) - you deserved it (2120)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:16am - work - by people suck - United States (California)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29386) - you deserved it (2676)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. Within minutes, they said I needed to leave. Their reason? Apparently, I was mocking her dad's speech impediment. I also have one but they wouldn't believe me. FML

#21382684
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31878) - you deserved it (1925)

On 03/27/2015 at 10:12pm - love - by biblepain - United States (Arizona)

Today, I discovered that when my mom can't sleep, she comes into my room and reads my text messages. FML

Today, I was trying out for a position as pitcher for my college baseball team. I threw the ball as hard as I could, and then collapsed to the ground in agony from a dislocated shoulder. FML

#21382575
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27158) - you deserved it (4602)

On 03/27/2015 at 6:50pm - health - by Bonecrusher (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at a big meeting at work. The CEO was reaming the hell out of us for our recent poor profits, when I accidentally let rip a vile fart. I was then subjected to a 10 minute tirade of abuse for "trying to be a funny man", and told that whatever small chance I had for a promotion is now gone. FML

#21382528
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24256) - you deserved it (5312)

On 03/27/2015 at 5:19pm - work - by screwedupfuck (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I found my dad's porn stash on his laptop. I went through it for a laugh to see what kind of sick, twisted shit he's into. Mostly nude pictures of my mum, as it turns out. I can't wipe the afterimage from my mind. FML

#21382495
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11203) - you deserved it (37399)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:28pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, while getting ready for a job interview, I sneezed while brushing my teeth, splattering toothpaste everywhere and ruining my brand new dress. FML

#21382482
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26796) - you deserved it (4090)

On 03/27/2015 at 4:09pm - misc - by anon - United States (California)

Today, I fell asleep in class... And woke up hour later. My teacher let me sit there till I woke up to see what my face would be like waking up to a new class. FML

#21382364
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25309) - you deserved it (15802)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:27am - misc - by BERNDTOAST - United States (Michigan)



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