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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I saw what my mom handed out for trick-or-treaters last night. Toothbrushes. Yup, we're that house. FML

#21289931
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33601) - you deserved it (2795)

On 11/01/2014 at 6:22pm - kids - by ThaBoss12 - United States (California)

UnidentifiedFun's comment : I've heard of apples and granola bars, but toothbrushes are the next level!

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Today, my boss is still refusing to fire my psychotic coworker, who's made it his mission to insult, annoy, bully and threaten me every day into making me quit. My boss is convinced the guy just has "assburger's" and that the company would get sued if we fired him. FML

#21289781
152 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30738) - you deserved it (2870)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:59pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Nymeria's comment : Assburgers don't sound very appetizing. I wouldn't fire one up either.

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Today, my girlfriend came over to my place unannounced. She slapped me in the face, said, "You son of a bitch." and stormed off. I have no idea what that was for. FML

#21289746
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34545) - you deserved it (4709)

On 11/01/2014 at 2:23pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Ohio)

watermelon15's comment : This could go either way... I wonder if you did do something..

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Today, I had to show up at an anti-drugs lecture with full-blown pink eye. It's from an ongoing bacterial infection, but the speaker said he'd heard that excuse a hundred times before, and shamed me in front of everyone. FML

#21289648
54 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31797) - you deserved it (2465)

On 11/01/2014 at 11:28am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I went to a Halloween party with people from work. As the night passed, my boss got hammered and started throwing food at people. It was fun and games until I accidentally spilled his 10th beer. His response? To slam a hollowed out pumpkin full of chocolate mousse over my head. FML

#21289623
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30454) - you deserved it (3729)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:26am - misc - by helosthisshit (man) - United Kingdom (West Lothian)

Today, my boyfriend and I went shopping for an engagement ring. We ended up breaking up in the process. FML

#21289613
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38799) - you deserved it (6181)

On 11/01/2014 at 10:06am - love - by limegreengiraffe - United States (Texas)

Today, I realized why the lady I had complimented the night before on Halloween about her amazing one-armed costume, looked so hurt. She is literally missing an arm. I'm an asshole. FML

#21289586
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32977) - you deserved it (12203)

On 11/01/2014 at 8:58am - misc - by That Guy - United States (Florida)

Today, I was dressed as a single girl. I wore pajama pants, hoodie with no bra, and carried a plate of pizza around. But it wasn't my costume, I just had nowhere to go for Halloween. FML

#21289481
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32168) - you deserved it (4443)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:59am - misc - by 4evalone (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I dressed up as my friend for Halloween. He has a very distinct style and I thought my costume was pretty clever. When he saw me, he said he had never been so offended in his entire life, and now I feel like a complete asshole. FML

#21289474
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28349) - you deserved it (13854)

On 11/01/2014 at 1:47am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed in Charlie Brown's ghost costume, a white sheet with holes all over. I got beat up for dressing like a member of the KKK. FML

#21289401
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32957) - you deserved it (6282)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:59pm - misc - by Halloween Fail (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was stuck in the elevator at my building, so I pushed the emergency button which made a ringing noise. After half an hour, I hear someone yelling to the elevator, "Could you stop pushing that button, there are kids sleeping." FML

#21289322
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32120) - you deserved it (2142)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:26pm - misc - by Virginy - France

Today, my parents told me they don't think I'll ever find a boyfriend, and insist on referring to my future cats as their "grandkids". FML

#21289318
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28989) - you deserved it (2608)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:16pm - love - by really - United States

Today, I was walking back to my dorm with my boyfriend. He was being really sweet as he held my hand. We were about to kiss goodnight and as he pushed some hair out of my face he said, "Can we hurry it up? I'm about to rip one." FML

#21289293
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28174) - you deserved it (3032)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:39pm - love - by grossedout -



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