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Today, my wife came back from her camping trip with her friends. I decided to help her out by unpacking her stuff while she used the bathroom. It's funny; I never knew that a dildo, a ball gag and an open pack of condoms were considered camping gear. FML

#21427521
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35863) - you deserved it (2578)

On 06/17/2015 at 10:12am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Welshite's comment : The true survival kit. The dildo can be used as a grappling hook, the ball gag as a simple weapon, and the condoms to carry water.

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Today, my co-worker told me how "lucky" I am that I "chose" to be a lesbian, because I don't have to deal with "guy drama". I spent two years of my adolescence sleeping at a bus stop and begging strangers for money after I got kicked out of home. FML

#21427509
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34707) - you deserved it (3332)

On 06/17/2015 at 9:31am - misc - by Lesbihonest (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

ChocolateScyther's comment : For some people, their knowledge of the LGBT community doesn't extend past pornos and shitty movies. But I'm glad you've bettered your life, OP.

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Today, my pregnant girlfriend and I moved into our first home together, signing a 1-year lease. Less than 12 hours later, we've discovered that the place is infested with cockroaches and we have a mouse. The landlord won't let us out of the contract. FML

#21427489
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27349) - you deserved it (4608)

On 06/17/2015 at 8:14am - misc - by Anonymous -

madi113's comment : You didn't inspect the home before leasing it???

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Today, I was at my boyfriend's house waiting to surprise him when he got home from work. I was laying in his bed when he called to tell me we were over. I couldn't leave before he got home. FML

#21427425
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26057) - you deserved it (2055)

On 06/17/2015 at 3:42am - love - by canessadawn - United States (Oregon)

Today, my girlfriend made me put a blanket over my head while giving me a blowjob because she didn't like the faces I was making. FML

#21427104
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26163) - you deserved it (5987)

On 06/16/2015 at 4:01pm - intimacy - by bootyislife (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the gym to try to get into shape. While I was running on the treadmill, my beer belly pushed against the emergency stop button, twice. FML

#21427019
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (4847)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:27pm - health - by Iarla_ceapaire93 - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I went out to eat. When I walked into the restaurant, a lady approached me and said she'd seat me soon. After a long wait, I saw that same lady leave. Then I realized she didn't actually work there and was just screwing with me. FML

#21426994
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28869) - you deserved it (2993)

On 06/16/2015 at 12:13pm - misc - by VHBJ - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my coworker decided to give me "the talk". I'm 21 and not a virgin, yet most of what she said was new to me. FML

#21426929
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26671) - you deserved it (4456)

On 06/16/2015 at 8:05am - intimacy - by poorlyparented - United States (Texas)

Today, my father finally achieved his long-held goal. He has legally disowned me. FML

Today, I told my mom I was going hiking with a couple of friends and wouldn't be back for 4 or more hours. Not even 2 hours later, she called the cops and reported us as missing. She didn't realize that we wouldn't have service up the canyon so we could call her back. FML

#21426852
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26869) - you deserved it (2012)

On 06/16/2015 at 1:47am - misc - by use your brain mother - United States (Utah)

Today, my boyfriend told his friends he was dating me. We've been together for a year and a half. His friends didn't even know I existed before. FML

Today, while talking to my parents, I dropped an ordinary drinking glass. After I apologized and cleaned the mess, they told me that they had decided that if I couldn't be careful at home, I certainly couldn't be careful on the roads. They took away my keys. I'm 19. FML

#21426656
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26725) - you deserved it (2413)

On 06/15/2015 at 7:07pm - misc - by PatientlyDying (man) - United States (Texas)



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