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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, after resigning from my current job, I was let go from the new job I hadn't even started yet. FML

#21403566
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30206) - you deserved it (2697)

On 05/02/2015 at 8:08pm - work - by Jbheller (man) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I went to the yearly town carnival with my friends. I hadn't slept well the night before and when I got onto the scariest ride, I somehow fell half asleep. I woke up upside down and ended up peeing myself in terror. FML

#21403515
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28709) - you deserved it (4820)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59pm - misc - by Upside-Down Sleeper. - United States (Maryland)

EvilLittleGirl's comment : FYL to whoever had to clean up

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Today, I changed my toothbrush because the bristles were wearing down. My brother later asked me why I changed his toothbrush. Apparently we've been sharing the same one for the past several weeks. FML

#21403442
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29911) - you deserved it (3591)

On 05/02/2015 at 2:39pm - misc - by gross - Canada (Ontario)

NoBookNoGood's comment : make sure everyone uses a different color of toothbrush.

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Today, my mom decided to have a get together at my house while I was at work. When I came home, she pulled me aside and asked me to pretend to be her maid. FML

#21403387
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (1981)

On 05/02/2015 at 12:54pm - misc - by Eternal Servitude - United States (California)

lucythomson's comment : Now could be a really good time to mess up her gathering. Or you could just introduce yourself as you

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Today, I clogged the toilet in the one-man bathroom at the corner store, with a line of about 5 people waiting outside. FML

Today, a guy at work told me I look like a famous celebrity. I was flattered, until he remembered the celebrity's name: Steve Buscemi. That wouldn't be a compliment, even if I weren't a 24-year-old woman. FML

#21403358
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25885) - you deserved it (2093)

On 05/02/2015 at 11:55am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I realized I get more pleasure watching YouTube videos of people lighting their farts on fire than I do from making love to my husband. FML

#21403333
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24995) - you deserved it (6029)

On 05/02/2015 at 10:23am - intimacy - by wellfuck (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. My mom's reaction was, I shit you not, to tell me to "walk it off". FML

#21403286
106 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28521) - you deserved it (2355)

On 05/02/2015 at 5:59am - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I had to go to a boring, never-ending "sensitivity training" session, all because my douchebag coworker filed a complaint against me last week after I apologized for being tardy. Apparently I was insulting people with mental disorders. Or as she put it, "differently-abled" people. FML

#21403264
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27521) - you deserved it (2522)

On 05/02/2015 at 4:04am - work - by tumblrinas_at_work (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I lost my virginity to the girl of my dreams. I could tell she really enjoyed it, because she muttered "Well, that was disappointing." afterwards, then got dressed, said she'd made a huge mistake, and asked me not to call her again. Yep, total stud. FML

#21403147
125 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32513) - you deserved it (3399)

On 05/01/2015 at 10:22pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, I felt sick to my stomach, so I told my mother I didn't want to eat dinner. She started accusing me of being anorexic, so I ate a little bit anyway to make her stop. I then threw up, only for her to take it as confirmation that I have an eating disorder. FML

#21403099
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29818) - you deserved it (2022)

On 05/01/2015 at 8:33pm - health - by I'm just sick, really - United States (Missouri)

Today, I failed a major exam. It wasn't because I didn't prepare for it, though. I failed because somebody sneezed during it and I said "bless you." Apparently, that's classed as cheating. FML

Today, my husband wants me to apologize for getting angry when his father told me I'm getting so fat that I look like a whale. I'm not fat, I'm just 8 months pregnant. FML

#21403055
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31720) - you deserved it (2685)

On 05/01/2015 at 6:57pm - misc - by wtf - United States (Indiana)



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