Today, I called my boyfriend and asked if he wanted to come watch a movie. He seemed eager, until I said I needed the company because my period had started. He then went dead silent, waited a few seconds before starting to fake-snore, then hung up on me. FML

by Anonymous / 09/07/2016 at 10:00am / United Kingdom / Health

emeraldarcher74's comment : Next time he wants something, do a fake-snore.

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Today, it's my birthday and I'd planned to take my family and friends to dinner with my own money. My mom just informed me that she'd messaged everyone that I'd canceled the dinner. She instead wants to use my money to buy my older brother a gun for his birthday, which is in two days. FML

mareike's comment : Excuse me but WHAT? That is insane and hide your money. Some mothers are just crazy and very bad at that parenting thing.

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Today, after 2 years and 5 months, my boyfriend finally found my clitoris. FML

by Lonile13 / 09/06/2016 at 11:28pm / Philippines / Intimacy

WCARlover's comment : That could have been solved by communication early on.

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Today I was very excited to go to the post office to claim a parcel. I didn't know what it could be, so I assumed it was a gift. It turned out to be a speeding ticket. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2016 at 11:02pm / Canada / Money

Today, I finished writing my Masters thesis. It's 25,000 words long. I showed it to my tutor, who told me it was completely wrong and that I have to start again from scratch. It's due in two weeks. FML

by n3rdzgotskillz / 09/06/2016 at 10:45pm / United Kingdom (Birmingham) / Work

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, I spent a ridiculous amount of time working and reworking a design for a client. Eight hours and many tears later, she sends an email saying, "Let's go with the first design. I liked that one the most." FML

by averagemom4days / 09/06/2016 at 10:45pm / United States (Utah) / Work

Today, my boss threw a party for everyone in the office who has a birthday in September. Everyone got a cake with their names on it except me. My birthday is today. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2016 at 2:54pm / United States (California) / Work

Today, I found a thong at my boyfriend's house. When I confronted him about it, he panicked and claimed it was his mom's. Right. FML

by I'm out / 09/06/2016 at 1:02pm / United States (Alabama) / Miscellaneous

Today, at the hardware store, I had to physically restrain my senile grandpa from trying to take a crap in one of the display toilets. FML

by Anonymous / 09/06/2016 at 9:36am / Estonia (Tartumaa) / Miscellaneous

Today, my boyfriend of over a year said that being in a relationship is pointless. When I responded that I couldn't picture my life without him, he said he couldn't picture his life without our cat. FML

by Rosie / 09/06/2016 at 8:13am / United States (Ohio) / Love

Today, I went to work early and saw my crush's car in the parking lot, so I parked next to her. After that, I looked over at her car to see her staring at me with a weird look and her saying, "Really?" Then she gestured around the lot; I looked around to find it completely empty. FML

by Asshole Parker / 09/06/2016 at 7:01am / United States (Illinois) / Love

2016/09/06
Blog

Today, I was babysitting my 6-year-old brother and was playing Mario. When I won, he called me a cunt. I was in shock and asked him where he learnt the word. He said from me when I was driving. He then told my mum that I taught him a new word. Easy to say, I'm in big trouble. FML

by bigbro / 09/06/2016 at 4:05am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids