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Today, I won a local arm-wrestling tournament. Too bad I have to use the prize money to repair the tendon I tore in the competition. FML

#20700407
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35641) - you deserved it (12536)

On 06/02/2013 at 12:36am - health - by Anonymous - United States

Today, I found out that my parents were artists when they met. My mom said that I was one of their best projects yet. My sister, hearing what my mother said, broke my week-old PS3 in a rage. FML

#20699851
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42446) - you deserved it (2827)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:31pm - misc - by H1dd3n (man) - United States (California)

Mirorbo's comment : I /really/ hope some punishment is delivered for that!! I hate favoritism as much as the next sibling, but that is not the way to go about it!

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Today, wanting to do something nice for my dad, I mowed the lawn. He grounded me for "emasculating" him. FML

#20699633
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43192) - you deserved it (3388)

On 06/01/2013 at 4:50pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Today, I realised half my underpants were missing. In related news, my slob of a housemate hasn't washed hers in several weeks, and has been stealing mine. FML

#20699444
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39111) - you deserved it (2936)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:52pm - misc - by WHOO HOO AIDS (woman) - Poland (Mazowieckie)

Today, my boyfriend of two years, whom I supported through the death of his father, and whose invalid mother I also took care of, suddenly dumped me. The fact that I've put on a little weight due to recent stress disgusts him, and he "can't date a chubster". FML

golden_warrior's comment : Some people are just shallow. However you sound like a really good person and I hope you find someone that deserves you.

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Today, I finished a big art project. It was a self-portrait done in acrylics. Proud of my piece, I showed my mom. After some thought her first comment was, "well, I'm either going to insult your art or your face." FML

#20698927
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40877) - you deserved it (3950)

On 06/01/2013 at 7:43am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I was making love to my fiancée, when she dug her nails into my back and told me to "choke" her like I did last night. I was at work last night. FML

#20698818
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (63946) - you deserved it (3906)

On 06/01/2013 at 3:51am - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

iemislayer's comment : Dump her cheating ass

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Today, as I was getting out of my car, an old and obese lady walked up to me and called me an "inconsiderate heartless bitch" for using the last handicap parking spot. I guess she didn't see my wheelchair. FML

#20698730
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (53218) - you deserved it (2275)

On 06/01/2013 at 2:21am - misc - by regstl - United States (Oregon)

Today, I went to the pharmacy to buy condoms. My card was declined, and I had to stand and watch in morbid fascination as the man behind me kindly paid for my purchase. His reason was "God forbid a maxed out Visa should get in the way of fucking." FML

#20698637
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (49846) - you deserved it (13551)

On 06/01/2013 at 1:09am - intimacy - by Samprib (woman) - United States (Indiana)

Today, at karate, my sparring partner thought it was completely okay to surprise kick me in the vagina. When he saw me doubled over in pain, he was completely surprised. Apparently, he thought that it wouldn't hurt, because I have no penis. FML

#20698551
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (50218) - you deserved it (3970)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:31am - health - by Mayyouneverfindpleasureinavagina (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl I've been talking to online and sending certain pictures to is actually my ex's new boyfriend. He ended up telling me he'd just wanted to see how he compared to me down below because my ex refused to go into detail about it. FML

#20698485
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36939) - you deserved it (17759)

On 06/01/2013 at 12:03am - intimacy - by WTF (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, at the supermarket, an old lady asked for directions to the produce aisle. Having read way too many stories lately on this very site about awful elderly folks, I was wary, but helped her out. She gave me an awkward hug in thanks, lifting my wallet in the process, as I later found out. FML

#20698103
93 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42138) - you deserved it (4636)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:50pm - money - by speechless (man) - United Kingdom (Wirral)

Today, I was sending some dirty texts to my boyfriend, when I heard a knocking sound coming through the wall. I sat there for ten minutes before I realized I was listening to my mom and her boyfriend having sex. FML

#20698016
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38015) - you deserved it (4453)

On 05/31/2013 at 8:02pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Guatemala (Guatemala)



Max Grünfeld's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • The Worst Sisters Ever
  • Growing up with a sister can be a good thing. If you're a guy, it can teach you about girls and how to interact with them so you won't grow up to be a sexist idiot who's afraid of women and who can only…

Monday 17 June 2013

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