Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
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Today, my mom decided to follow me during my driving test. She rear ended me. FML

#21092226
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40355) - you deserved it (2683)

On 03/20/2014 at 11:04pm - misc - by nehadrihan - United States (California)

Today, for the third time this week, a random person in the street walked up to me and told me how much I look like Grumpy Cat. FML

#21091998
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33768) - you deserved it (4544)

On 03/20/2014 at 6:18pm - misc - by no (woman) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I had to give a deposition ahead of a trial in which my former boss is accused of fraud. I'm not a smart man, and I smoked a joint before heading out to try to calm my nerves. I got way too high and ended up giggling like an idiot through half the deposition. FML

#21091940
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (15607) - you deserved it (59744)

On 03/20/2014 at 5:03pm - misc - by screwed (man) - United States (Texas)

expectcriticism's comment : well maybe next time you'll think twice before jeopardizing something important like that. there are so many ways to calm your nerves rather than smoking weed so you completely deserve this one

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Today, I found out why my dad always treated me badly as a kid compared to my siblings. It's because I was conceived while my mom was cheating on him. On top of that, he made it clear that he still doesn't consider me a "real" part of the family. FML

#21091901
140 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48393) - you deserved it (2566)

On 03/20/2014 at 4:23pm - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Illinois)

LickitungJr's comment : That's terrible. But don't worry, you are not the first person to have that happen to them.

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Today, I went on my sixth date with a guy I was beginning to really like. He asked if I'd mind if his friend Pete met up with us afterwards. I said sure. Turns out "Pete" is his penis. FML

Welshite's comment : I hope you shook hands with Pete when you met him. It's rude not to. Maybe an embrace and a few kisses if it's more informal.

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Today, after finishing an essay at the library, I fell asleep and had a dream about the essay crawling out through my laptop screen and trying to kill me. I woke by the librarian shaking me and telling me to stop screaming. I was mortified. FML

#21091737
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36503) - you deserved it (3839)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:48pm - work - by systematicpanic (woman) - United Kingdom (Leicester)

Today, I had a text message when I woke up. I was excited as I usually don't get texts from people. Turns out it was from T-Mobile. They text me more than actual people do. FML

#21091718
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35857) - you deserved it (4231)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:15pm - misc - by skrumpp (man) -

Today, on my way to Burger King I got into a heated discussion with my wife about our cats. We have 15 rescues, and I've reached my limit. Guess what came running up to my car while waiting in the drive-through. We named him Pickles. FML

#21091449
179 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41040) - you deserved it (8644)

On 03/20/2014 at 12:31am - animals - by cat whisperer - United States

Today, my boyfriend decided it was time to spice up our sex life. He now watches Sons Of Anarchy when we have sex. FML

#21091327
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34728) - you deserved it (4680)

On 03/19/2014 at 10:43pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I was making a special birthday delivery for a customer. As I handed her the fruit basket, I said, "Hey, we have the same birthday! Happy birthday!" She called me an attention whore and slammed the door in my face. FML

Today, I was texting an artist friend telling her I wanted to buy her paintings; going on and on about how much I wanted it and loved the way they looked and couldn't wait to have them. I realized my phone had corrected paintings to panties. FML

#21091119
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35777) - you deserved it (4520)

On 03/19/2014 at 7:19pm - misc - by BigBlue (man) - United States (Washington)

Today, my boss told me that there is no point in making me cut onions anymore because every time I do, I look like I've "been beaten", and can't be seen by the customers for at least half an hour. FML

#21091068
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29682) - you deserved it (2780)

On 03/19/2014 at 6:24pm - work - by Embarassed (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, a crazy woman grabbed my hair and mentioned how lovely it was. She then asked when I would donate it. I told her I didn't want to, at which point she started yelling that she was going to get some scissors and cut it all off to teach me a lesson. FML

#21090883
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41478) - you deserved it (3110)

On 03/19/2014 at 2:14pm - misc - by donttouchmyhair (woman) - Romania (Bucuresti)



Bénédicte's illustrated FML

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FML's blog

  • Bénédicte's Illustrated FML
  • "If drawing stuff is the food of love, then get a better pencil." That's not a real expression, I just made it up because I needed a good opening line. It's not even that good of an opening line, but…

Thursday 10 April 2014

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