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Today, I put on some sexy lingerie, ready to have some fun with my husband. I found him in the living room, opening a bag of doritos in front of the TV. He saw me and understood. Then he looked back at the doritos, then back at me and said gravely, "No way, babe. No way." FML

#21190698
134 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47665) - you deserved it (6063)

On 06/27/2014 at 7:50pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

DonkeyTeeth2013's comment : His priorities are straight.

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Today, my cousin asked me what it's like to be so fat. I chastised him and said that was a rude thing to ask. He apologized, then asked me what it's like to be such a pussy. He didn't stop until he, a 10 year old kid, had reduced me, a 26 year old woman, to tears. FML

#21190580
137 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41301) - you deserved it (7429)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:57pm - kids - by keelah (woman) - United States (Alabama)

mastamouse's comment : Time to bring out the belt

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Today, my son got a beating. Apparently, he went to a club, waited until he saw a couple of girls pulling a duckface for a photo, then rushed over and threw pieces of bread at them. Their boyfriends, not too surprisingly, didn't appreciate this. I had to drive the idiot home from the hospital. FML

#21190541
202 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42684) - you deserved it (6104)

On 06/27/2014 at 5:15pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Canada (Ontario)

metallica_wins's comment : You should be proud, at least he's emotionally intelligent.

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Today, I was driving my 7-year-old daughter to school, when out of nowhere a bird smashed into the windshield. Instead of screaming or being traumatized by the gore like me, my daughter started laughing hysterically, eventually calling the bird a "stupid bastard". FML

#21190484
157 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45757) - you deserved it (8280)

On 06/27/2014 at 4:22pm - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - Spain (Comunidad Valenciana)

Today, I went to the hospital due to vomiting and abdominal pain, and they decided to fit me with an IV drip. It took several tries by two different people to get the cannula in. I feel like a human pin-cushion. FML

#21190332
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34073) - you deserved it (4066)

On 06/27/2014 at 1:32pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - Japan (Kanagawa)

Today, my boss sent me some application forms to check over. After I spell-checked them and returned them, I found out they're going to be used to hire someone to replace me. FML

#21190114
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43582) - you deserved it (3826)

On 06/27/2014 at 6:57am - work - by Anonymous - United Kingdom

Today, I had a job interview where I was interrupted for using the word creative because there is "only one creator". FML

#21189976
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39630) - you deserved it (4075)

On 06/27/2014 at 2:11am - work - by IAMALITAHA (man) - United Kingdom (Newcastle upon Tyne)

Today, my dad made the local news. The business he owns is so run down and overgrown that it's officially a public health hazard. FML

#21189640
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38894) - you deserved it (4368)

On 06/26/2014 at 9:39pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Alabama)

Today, I'm a college student working at Dollar Tree. The signs hanging every 10 ft, plastered on every box, every wall, every corner, say "Everything's $1." Someone asked me how much something was, because there was no price tag. This happens multiple times a day. FML

#21189564
143 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44335) - you deserved it (4352)

On 06/26/2014 at 8:07pm - work - by E.B. (woman) - United States (Mississippi)

Today, I was at my mom's funeral. My sisters and I were sitting in the front row. The funeral director, whom we had met with twice before, was going around greeting everyone. When she got to us, she asked where our mom was. Seriously? FML

#21189397
124 comments

I agree, your life sucks (56051) - you deserved it (2982)

On 06/26/2014 at 5:13pm - misc - by Alex - United States (Hawaii)

Today, someone stole my laptop from my car. However, they were nice enough to relock the doors after they smashed in the window. FML

#21189063
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39318) - you deserved it (5580)

On 06/26/2014 at 11:11am - misc - by stop thief (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I went bowling with my girlfriend, her sister and her brother-in-law, and her niece. After 10 rounds, I came in last place. Her niece is 3 years old. She got twice as many points as me. FML

#21189057
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35796) - you deserved it (10744)

On 06/26/2014 at 10:58am - misc - by DF (man) - Israel (HaMerkaz)

Today, I got a call from a friend asking why I didn't tell him I was engaged. I'm not, but I wish I was. Rumours about my life seem to be better than the reality. FML

#21188956
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41326) - you deserved it (4084)

On 06/26/2014 at 7:35am - love - by WhenRumoursAreBetterThanReality (woman) - Australia (Australian Capital Territory)



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