Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, just as I was putting my contacts in, a gnat landed on it. Its guts got squished between my eyeball and the contact. FML

#21456316
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23246) - you deserved it (1595)

On 08/15/2015 at 11:20am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

TechnoKitten's comment : That's gnatsty

See all the comments →

Today, it's been 2 days since my boyfriend "accidentally" slipped into the wrong hole while continuing to hammer me at full speed. I still can't poop or even walk right. FML

#21456278
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29415) - you deserved it (3563)

On 08/15/2015 at 5:32am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

ilovesoccer1610's comment : I think you should see a doctor

See all the comments →

Today, my husband decided he would rather be with his mistress than with me while I gave birth to our first child. FML

#21456262
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25823) - you deserved it (2031)

On 08/15/2015 at 4:22am - love - by MissyPants - United States (California)

mattzawesome's comment : Take every penny that bastard has. Be relentless and brutal. Hire a good attorney, win some alimony, and leave him in the rear view mirror.

See all the comments →

Today, my mother gave me hell for my "video game addiction". The "game" in question? A professional flight simulator program that I'm using to complement my flight school lessons. FML

Today, I went to the mall and was persistently asked to try one of the curling irons at a kiosk. I don't like to use heat on my hair, but I reluctantly agreed. The iron burned off a good chunk of hair from the back of my head. FML

Today, I financed my first car. I also made my first call to AAA when it broke down. It barely had any miles on it and I wasn't even home yet. FML

#21456159
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19371) - you deserved it (1567)

On 08/14/2015 at 10:09pm - money - by BrandNewLemon - United States (California)

Today, my stepbrother's attempt at making a snack resulted in the microwave catching on fire and the everlasting smell of burnt pizza rolls. FML

#21456120
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20278) - you deserved it (1572)

On 08/14/2015 at 7:38pm - kids - by Tyrez (man) - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend asked me if I had any kinks, so I told him all about them. He was actually mad because I didn't have the same 'sexy kinks' the girls in porn have. FML

#21456100
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22953) - you deserved it (1810)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:42pm - intimacy - by maybe if i was paid like them i would (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, as I was driving, a bird swooped down, right in front of my car. I didn't have enough time to react, and so I had to listen to my wife cry the rest of the way home. She kept talking about how it bounced off the windshield and how it probably had a family. FML

#21456098
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23093) - you deserved it (2592)

On 08/14/2015 at 6:40pm - animals - by Wellthisishawkward - United States

Today, I got in trouble for punching my sister. Apparently, it still counts if it's in Minecraft and she looked like she was going to steal my stuff. FML

#21456039
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21933) - you deserved it (2446)

On 08/14/2015 at 3:31pm - misc - by RobotUnicorn1209 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, a cute guy approached me at a nightclub. I was really excited, until he drunkenly slurred "Babe, I'd suck the farts from your asshole!" and then threw up everywhere. FML

#21455978
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23359) - you deserved it (2119)

On 08/14/2015 at 12:50pm - misc - by Brooke (woman) - United States (California)

Today, at my grandmother's funeral, my senile grandfather kept asking me "Where's granny? I've been looking for her, but I can't find her." FML

#21455960
144 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31004) - you deserved it (1372)

On 08/14/2015 at 11:08am - misc - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark

Today, my boyfriend asked me to start using a period tracker app so I can tell him which week of each month he needs to "stay the hell away" from me. FML

#21455940
126 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21021) - you deserved it (3392)

On 08/14/2015 at 9:19am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands (Zuid-Holland)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: