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Today, I was a pregnant man for Halloween. Everyone at school thought it was funny, except my principal, who gave me a detention and said it was, "inappropriate and making a pregnant teacher feel uncomfortable". That pregnant teacher asked me to take a selfie with her. FML

#21289257
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34472) - you deserved it (2147)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:28pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Illinois)

devildog562's comment : The principal was just jealous you didn't have his baby. Or he's mad that the teacher is having his. Take your pick.

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Today, my best friend told me that she was a virgin again because she hadn't had sex in 6 months. She's 19 and actually believes it. FML

#21289249
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29251) - you deserved it (2299)

On 10/31/2014 at 7:10pm - misc - by AnonymousAmber - United States (North Carolina)

Today, my friend took our prank war too far when he secretly added peanuts to my food. I have a peanut allergy. FML

#21289188
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33972) - you deserved it (2772)

On 10/31/2014 at 5:12pm - health - by peanutprobs - Germany (Nordrhein-Westfalen)

Today, I went to a Halloween party dressed as a pirate. Someone complimented me on how convincing the fake teeth were that I had on for my costume. I wasn't wearing fake teeth. FML

#21289034
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28947) - you deserved it (5558)

On 10/31/2014 at 11:56am - misc - by iliveformystery (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, a customer bought several drill bits. When I asked him, "Do you want a bag for your bits?" he just stared at me uncomfortably, apparently thinking I was trying to come onto him. FML

#21289001
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25516) - you deserved it (2390)

On 10/31/2014 at 10:27am - work - by hardwarekit (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I was pulled over and fined $100 for driving without a license, as I'd accidentally left home without my wallet. I later found my wallet wedged beside my car seat, where it had been the entire time. FML

#21288966
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31098) - you deserved it (5672)

On 10/31/2014 at 9:35am - money - by emptypockets - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, we told my fiancé's parents that I'm pregnant. His mom's response? "I'm going to throw up. You can't raise a child." We are both 28, self-sufficient and everyone else is thrilled. FML

#21288954
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31905) - you deserved it (2443)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:58am - kids - by kimmykins27 (woman) - United States

Today, as I was walking home from work, I got chased halfway home by a wolf. Yes, a wolf. I live in central Norway. FML

#21288944
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33735) - you deserved it (2551)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:31am - animals - by noxiffic (man) - Norway (Rogaland)

garage's comment : It's Halloween. Probably a werewolf.

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Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28605) - you deserved it (2262)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31120) - you deserved it (2603)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28098) - you deserved it (3692)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

#21288915
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25815) - you deserved it (2116)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:42am - misc - by Shutup! - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27938) - you deserved it (2790)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)



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