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Today, my dick of a roommate was moving out. She didn't actually tell us she was moving out and took the wifi, modem and all, while my other roommate was on a Skype call and I was watching a show. All with no warning. It's Saturday, I have an online assignment due Sunday. FML

#21516189
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19117) - you deserved it (2054)

On 01/17/2016 at 8:59am - misc - by slightlyfamous - Canada (Quebec)

halcyon93's comment : Maybe you can go to your local library or somewhere else with free wifi and send it there? And yeah, your roommate doesn't sound like a very nice person. Even though it came with this unpleasant consequence, be glad you're shot of her (hopefully).

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Today, I reached down to pet an elderly man's dog. It jumped up and utterly mauled my face, drawing blood. As I gasped in shock and pain, the man looked me straight in the eye and said: "Careful, he likes to scratch." FML

#21516156
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18374) - you deserved it (9617)

On 01/17/2016 at 5:02am - animals - by Anonymous (man) - United States

skippydoda's comment : Did you ask first before you pet? If you did, then FYL. If you didn't, then YDI. Always ask before you pet a stranger animal.

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Today, my pregnancy hormones were so bad, I broke down crying because my cat sat on my husband's lap instead of mine. FML

#21516140
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20956) - you deserved it (2475)

On 01/17/2016 at 3:19am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the only reason I'm alive is because my dad beat the living shit out of my mom to stop her getting an abortion. FML

#21516125
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24973) - you deserved it (1522)

On 01/17/2016 at 2:26am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

nickie_94's comment : Did he not realize he could've caused her to have a miscarriage? You really are lucky to be alive after that

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Today, on my college visit, I met a perfect girl for me, sweet, gorgeous, on the same career path. I remember everything we talked about, where she is from, what sport she plays, and her recent internship. But when I went to look her up online, I couldn't remember one thing, her name. FML

#21516058
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22374) - you deserved it (5052)

On 01/16/2016 at 10:28pm - love - by Roll Tide of Tears - United States

Today, I slept with my deputy manager. He slept with my insane jealous housemate months ago. I need to find a new job and a new flat. FML

#21515990
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11422) - you deserved it (17839)

On 01/16/2016 at 6:15pm - intimacy - by anon - United Kingdom (Sheffield)

Today, as I was trying to get off a crowded train, some asshole pushed past me hard enough to nearly knock me over. My bag hit a preschool kid standing behind me, and I missed my stop trying to apologize to him. His mom yelled at me all the way to the next stop. FML

#21515864
23 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20081) - you deserved it (1285)

On 01/16/2016 at 10:00am - kids - by off-balance (woman) - Finland

Today, I finished a 2 hour Skype call with my girlfriend, only to realize I was using mobile data. FML

#21515848
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21412) - you deserved it (7039)

On 01/16/2016 at 7:54am - love - by tye61 (man) - New Zealand (Wellington)

Today, I tested out my new paintball gun by firing a few rounds into some thick bushes. Nothing could've prepared me for the angry swarm of hornets whose nest I'd apparently shot. I'm in so much pain. FML

#21515811
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19125) - you deserved it (7302)

On 01/16/2016 at 3:17am - health - by someone euthanize me -

Today, I felt kind of horny for once, so I texted my boyfriend to let him know he'd be getting some action later. He replied "I'm gonna fucken murder ur pussy when I get back!! :D" And just like that my sex drive once again crashed through the floor. FML

#21515791
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20905) - you deserved it (3616)

On 01/16/2016 at 1:40am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Colorado)

Today, I woke up to fresh coffee, pancakes, and the sight of my dad digging a grave in the backyard for my dog. FML

#21515773
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21847) - you deserved it (1137)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:52am - animals - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my girlfriend dumped me for another guy by text. I felt so betrayed, I stupidly tried to hurt her by replying that I'd been cheating on her all along with a hot babe. Turned out the dumping text was actually a prank by her friend. Now I'm single and everyone thinks I'm a cheater. FML

#21515762
150 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14318) - you deserved it (26330)

On 01/16/2016 at 12:04am - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, my dad made me figure out how to disable the adult content filters on our internet. He spent what must have been a full 10 minutes on a distracting, long-winded speech about how he doesn't want to look up porn, but "it's just the principle of the damn thing". Sure, dad. Sure. FML

#21515750
37 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18955) - you deserved it (1399)

On 01/15/2016 at 11:16pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom



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