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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I walked in on my husband going down on another woman. Instead of speaking, he looked at me, got up, and slammed the door. FML

#21424579
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32457) - you deserved it (2265)

On 06/11/2015 at 4:51pm - intimacy - by lolatmylovelife - United States (Texas)

WellThatWasRude's comment : Slam the door shut on your marriage. I'm sorry OP, you don't deserve that.

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Today, I confronted my boss for his inadequate contribution in our work. He accepted his inadequacy and apologized for not doing enough. He now expects me to work on everything singlehandedly since he has already clarified his inadequacy. FML

#21424550
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20798) - you deserved it (3885)

On 06/11/2015 at 3:50pm - work - by varunet2004 (man) - India

Today, I had to endure the most mortifying ambulance ride of my life after my fiancé's cock ring got stuck on my tongue piercing. As I was trying not to choke or vomit, he actually high-fived one of the EMTs and tried to get him to take a picture on his phone. FML

#21424446
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29505) - you deserved it (8584)

On 06/11/2015 at 12:10pm - intimacy - by awkward - United Kingdom (Dumfries and Galloway)

Verst's comment : Your fiance sounds cocky.

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Today, the main file and backups of the book I've been writing for 2 and a half years mysteriously vanished. It turned out my mum decided that me spending so much time in my room must mean I'm watching porn, and so she trashed everything. FML

#21424410
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29053) - you deserved it (2003)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - misc - by 4lphab3t4 (man) - United Kingdom (Harrow)

FieldLeftBlank's comment : Take it to an IT shop, deleted files can be recovered. And what the hell is her problem even if you had been watching porn...

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Today, my boyfriend and I were downtown when he pointed to a girl and said he wished I dressed more like she did. She was obviously a hooker. FML

#21424409
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23477) - you deserved it (2095)

On 06/11/2015 at 10:37am - love - by anonymous - Canada (Alberta)

Today, a customer yelled, "I'll bash your fuckin' face in, cunt" at me at 9:30am because we don't serve the lunch menu at breakfast time. Yes, the 15-year-old girl in high school is responsible for McDonald's entire menu. FML

#21424396
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28497) - you deserved it (1739)

On 06/11/2015 at 9:44am - work - by McFuckYouTooCunt (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my long-distance boyfriend arrived, took off my bra and told my boobs, "I missed you guys", then took off my panties and said, "Hey buddy" to my vagina before saying he missed me to my face. FML

Today, the 4-year-old I was babysitting came up to me all happy, saying she went to the bathroom like a "big girl". Knowing she was just potty trained, I asked if she'd remembered to flush. Looking at me confused, she said, "But it's in my room." FML

#21424205
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25646) - you deserved it (1832)

On 06/10/2015 at 11:04pm - kids - by AdoKitty (woman) - United States (California)

Today, my neighbor came over to borrow my lawnmower. As I have previously loaned it to him and he returned it broken, I refused. He then promptly ate the strawberries off my daughter's small strawberry plant and stormed off. FML

#21424116
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25517) - you deserved it (1596)

On 06/10/2015 at 8:13pm - misc - by its still broken (man) - United States (Florida)

Today, I was told by my manager to make sure the supervisor on shift does his job. Last month I was told I couldn't be a supervisor. Apparently I can supervise someone who earns more than I do though. FML

#21424106
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23798) - you deserved it (1399)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:45pm - work - by cocoapuffs4life - Canada (Ontario)

Today, my sister told me that the only reason I like one guy is because he looks exactly like the guy that dumped me. I showed her two pictures to argue against it, and ended up proving her right. FML

#21424094
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20974) - you deserved it (4876)

On 06/10/2015 at 7:14pm - love - by didn't notice for 2 years - United States (Arizona)

Today, our mouse problem finally started to go away. Now we have a snake problem. FML

#21423927
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22659) - you deserved it (1794)

On 06/10/2015 at 1:55pm - misc - by Eisenhorn (man) - United States

Today, my husband and I broke the news to my 10-year-old son that in about 8 months, he'll have a baby brother or sister. I knew he never wanted a sibling, but I didn't expect him to throw a tantrum, then look at me through teary eyes and scream, "Why can't you keep your fucking legs closed?" FML

#21423894
315 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35136) - you deserved it (6952)

On 06/10/2015 at 12:13pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Kentucky)



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