All the FMLs

The customer is always right

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 20:00 - United States

Today, a customer ordered the spicy shrimp ramen bowl. The menu says spicy, I warned her it was spicy, it’s in the fucking title SPICY SHRIMP RAMEN! Despite all of this, instead of ordering something different, the stupid fucking Karen sent her order back four times because it was too hot. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 52

Pile on

By skitzobiatch69 - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - Australia

Today, after being cut out of the car, on the way to hospital in the ambulance, we were involved in another accident. FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 045

You deserved it 2 437

Family man

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, we were planning to go out to dinner at our favorite restaurant. My kids and I were all dressed and ready to go when my husband waltzes in with fast food. He said he found some coupons for a free family meal. The kids and I got upset and he said, "I didn't have to get this for you guys." FML

I agree, your life sucks 403

You deserved it 119

Best keep it under wraps

By Amandy - 05/05/2026 12:00 - United States - New York

Today, I was about to admit and open up to my good friend about the guy I like, who she's known longer than I have, until I heard her say something to another friend about him: "Stop pestering my sister's boyfriend!" FML

I agree, your life sucks 301

You deserved it 79

Step-nothing

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, my dad's new wife, who is two years younger than me (I'm 24) and hates that I'm a lesbian, threw a fit when I told her that I would never call her Mom. My dad took her side. I don't live with them but still… FML

I agree, your life sucks 513

You deserved it 92

Messy bitches

By princessbbee - This FML is from back in 2011 but it's good stuff - United States

Today, I bought my cats two new litter boxes in hopes that they would use them. They still prefer to pee on the clothes in my closet. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 055

You deserved it 7 257

The yadda yadda yadda

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 03:00 - Canada - Lloydminster

Today, I was walking around with a friend, who I assumed was beside me, but it turned out she'd left my side minutes ago and hadn’t heard my rambling that some random person had. FML

I agree, your life sucks 262

You deserved it 183

The nerve of this dude

By Anonymous - 05/05/2026 00:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my husband confessed to cheating but then tried to turn it around on me. Apparently, because I wasn’t regularly checking his phone, it must mean I don’t really care about him or I’d have caught him months ago. Sorry for trusting my husband I suppose, geez. FML

I agree, your life sucks 544

You deserved it 82

Family ties

By SadOne - 04/05/2026 22:00 - Germany - Berlin

Today, I didn't know that my toxic mother went to my sister's house. I called her, and she said to my sister while on the call to me, "She's so loud and always disturbing me." I cut the call and stopped talking to her. She's mad now and my dad's scolding me for hurting her. FML

I agree, your life sucks 347

You deserved it 84

Caught it

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Marietta

Today, after months of arguing with doctors and them trying to hand me off to mental health professionals, it turns out I indeed have a physical brain injury they missed. Scary, right? FML

I agree, your life sucks 443

You deserved it 51

Let me sleep!

By ineed sleep!!! - This FML is from back in 2019 but it's good stuff

Today, my boyfriend and I got into a huge argument when I suggested we start sleeping in separate rooms. He thinks I don’t love him anymore, but that’s not the case. I’m madly in love with him, but he snores like a freight train and thrashes like a fucking Ninja Turtle all night. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 403

You deserved it 306

No politik here

By Lia - 04/05/2026 15:00 - United States

Today, I just moved from New York and I started a new school with new people. Nobody wants to be my friend or talk to me because I’m Israeli and apparently I “participate in genocide and take Americans' tax money.” I've lived in America since I was 4 and haven’t done any of that, let alone go back to Israel. FML

I agree, your life sucks 537

You deserved it 125

Crisis of faith

By Hmmm… - 04/05/2026 12:00 - United States - Waterbury

Today, I'm no longer interested in praying with my family. That's a very uncomfortable thing for me. I still believe in God and prayer, but it’s uncomfortable when your family is very religious and half of them are ministers. I can’t tell anyone in my family this. FML

I agree, your life sucks 335

You deserved it 91

I'm right here

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I realized that I could strip down butt naked, slather myself in honey, and roll around in $100 bills, and still wouldn’t be able to get my husband’s attention. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 70

Going underground

By HotToTrotskyite - This FML is from back in 2009 but it's good stuff - Russian Federation

Today, I was riding on the Moscow metro. My friend and I were joking around in English about taking a nap on the nerdy business man next to me. As we laughed and made comments about him, which we thought he couldn't understand, he asked, "First time in Moscow?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 7 335

You deserved it 85 744

Nailed that social interaction

By Anonymous - 04/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Van Nuys

Today, someone was making jokes and everyone started laughing, so I laughed. He then proceeded to look me dead in the eye and go, "What are you laughing at?" I started stuttering and mumbled back quietly, "I don't know, what are you laughing at?" He goes, "I'm not laughing" and then they all stared at me weird. FML

I agree, your life sucks 193

You deserved it 277

Oooh la la

By timothy - 04/05/2026 00:00 - United States - San Diego

Today, I sent a porn link to my buddy. I received no response from him for hours so I went to text him again. "Brian" and "Boss" are right next to each other in my contacts list. Tomorrow I go into work to find out if I still have a job. FML

I agree, your life sucks 93

You deserved it 583

I'm in Hell

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 22:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I sit here struggling with such horrendous pain, which I've been dealing with now for the last six months or so, crying and contemplating whether I want to be around or not, as I'm so fed up with the pain. It's affecting me physically and mentally, I just don't know what to do anymore. FML

I agree, your life sucks 441

You deserved it 72

Money pit

By Stephanie - 03/05/2026 20:00 - United States - Vincennes

Today, my car was stolen. They found it and I wish they never had. Full coverage would have paid the car, but instead the repairs cost $1700. My deductible was $2000. It ended up costing me $2000. The people who fixed my ignition broke my remote start. I have to fight to get them to pay for that repair. FML

I agree, your life sucks 397

You deserved it 60

So romantic

By notonthepavement - This FML is from back in 2016 but it's good stuff - United States - Desoto

Today, as I went to kiss my date goodbye and drive home, he mistakenly rammed his thumb across my eye hard enough to push my contact back into my eye socket. FML

I agree, your life sucks 23 083

You deserved it 1 714

Worst hangover ever

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom

Today, while I was drunk, my brother decided to use pliers to pull out my bad tooth. He grabbed the wrong tooth, and when it didn’t pop out cleanly he decided he just needed to squeeze harder, and crushed the healthy tooth into splinters. I can feel the nerve with my tongue, it’s agony. FML

I agree, your life sucks 264

You deserved it 461

Overfamiliar

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 09:00 - United States

Today, I felt comfortable enough to finally call my stepmom "Mom." She politely asked me not to call her that. FML

I agree, your life sucks 503

You deserved it 73

Hanging on in quiet desperation

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2013 but it's good stuff - Mexico

Today, I have to get an ultrasound at the hospital. In order to get a clear picture, I need to have a full bladder. I've been waiting my turn for 2 hours now, desperately needing to pee. There are still multiple patients ahead of me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 47 133

You deserved it 3 148

Let's push things forward

By Anonymous - 03/05/2026 03:00 - United States - Moreno Valley

Today, I've spent 14 years building a life with someone who cheated, lied, and made me feel like my pain was “unattractive.” I stayed loyal, worked two jobs, and gave everything while he gave nothing. Now I’m left healing from a love that was never real. FML

I agree, your life sucks 447

You deserved it 149

"The report of my death was an exaggeration"

By Luke Mackay - 03/05/2026 00:00 - Australia - Brisbane

Today, I went to my local pub for a drink. There was a giant sign that read, “Welcome to Luke’s celebration of life.” My name is Luke. FML

I agree, your life sucks 279

You deserved it 110

Proud mama

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 20:00 - United Kingdom

Today, my darling first born 23 year-old son just called me, a single mum who works full time, disgusting because I’ve gained weight and been too busy to go to the gym. He’s living at home and not paying rent, despite working. FML

I agree, your life sucks 459

You deserved it 128

Overconfident

By Anonymous - This FML is from back in 2015 but it's good stuff - Netherlands

Today, my boyfriend of five days proposed to me at the mall. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 247

You deserved it 4 928

Bitter

By Oshi - 02/05/2026 15:00 - United States - Miami

Today, I got a Venmo request from a guy who I friendzoned when I announced my relationship with another guy on Instagram. He’s backcharging me for all the dinners, auto repair bills, etc., he apparently spent on me. It’s over $4000. I don’t have that kind of money and he’s threatening legal action if I don’t pay. FML

I agree, your life sucks 309

You deserved it 539

Thanks, I guess

By Anonymous - 02/05/2026 12:00 - United Kingdom - Fulham

Today, my kids and husband brought me a bunch of ornamental cabbages for my birthday, rather than flowers. Why? Because, "you're more of a cabbage sort of person." Ah well, guess it's an improvement on last year when they forgot entirely. FML

I agree, your life sucks 343

You deserved it 69

Jonathan Richman approves

By MeepMeep - This FML is from back in 2018 but it's good stuff

Today, I had to do a Google Image search to prove to my 32-year-old husband that roadrunners are real animals, and not just made up for Looney Toons. FML

I agree, your life sucks 4 051

You deserved it 540

FML on Facebook

Keywords

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The Top

Today, I bumped into an old school friend. I'd heard she was pregnant so the first thing I did was congratulate her. Not only was she not pregnant, but the reason she managed to get so fat was because of comfort eating due to her miscarriage last month. FML

I agree, your life sucks 44 021

You deserved it 7 467

Today, while I was at the beach I decided to go into the ocean even though the waves looked rough. While I was in the water, I got caught by the riptide and needed to be saved. The reason I was at the beach? I'm a lifeguard. Now all my co-workers won't stop laughing at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 128

You deserved it 18 105

Today, I got into bed as my cat crept under it. I then heard him gagging, so I instantly got back up to get him out, because my floor is carpeted. As I pulled him into the hall, he flew upwards, made a horrific "Blagh!" sound, projectile vomited everywhere, then hit the wall and ran. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 621

You deserved it 327

Today, I told my “best friend” that I'd tested positive for COVID-19. She told me to “chill”. Ten years of friendship and she didn’t even ask if I was OK. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 135

You deserved it 296

Today, I tried to plan a date with five colleagues for a goodbye-drink together, since I'm leaving the team after two and a half years. They told me it was going to be difficult to pick a date that suited everybody, so they already took into account that it won't be happening. When another colleague left, we went out for dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 865

You deserved it 148

Today, on the advice of a girl from sales, I sent a company-wide email with the subject line, "FOR SALE - 2010 Toyota Camry." I realized the social faux pas a minute later when my department head replied-to-all, "FOR SALE - half eaten sandwich." Now everyone thinks I’m a dumbass for confusing company emails for Craigslist, and for believing anyone who works in sales. FML

I agree, your life sucks 99

You deserved it 554