Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, I saw a huge wolf spider in my room. It ran off and hid before I could kill it, but after two hours looking for it then giving up, I finally found it, with my foot, as I put on my shoes. FML

#21453669
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24697) - you deserved it (2063)

On 08/08/2015 at 11:10pm - animals - by terrified (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

leopardwilliam's comment : There's only one solution. You need to amputate the foot that touched it. It's the only way.

See all the comments →

Today, at Walmart, a lady came up to me and informed me that I "look like the kinda skank that'd give it up on the first date". FML

#21453630
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22039) - you deserved it (2718)

On 08/08/2015 at 9:23pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

1dvs_bstd's comment : "You're the type of judgemental bitch who randomly judge people on the street.. why don't you keep your opinions to yourself, you old hag."

See all the comments →

Today, I realised that my closeted gay friend has dated more women this year than I have in my 28 years of life. FML

#21453604
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23449) - you deserved it (2451)

On 08/08/2015 at 8:03pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (North Somerset)

justanonymous123's comment : If he's gay is it fair that he is dating women giving them a false hope of a relationship?

See all the comments →

Today, I woke up panting and drenched in sweat from a horrible nightmare. I'd been dreaming that bright, colored shapes were falling from the sky and I couldn't make them all neatly align with one another on the ground. I guess I should stop playing so much Tetris before bed. FML

#21453585
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20828) - you deserved it (4446)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:56pm - misc - by I love L (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, in the second week of August, hell has come to earth; my mom has been playing Christmas music all afternoon and is already searching online for decorations. I hope she buys a length of rope to go with them, because I've already given up on life. FML

#21453582
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22240) - you deserved it (2410)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:52pm - misc - by brbkillingmyself - United States

Today, I had to serve an incredibly rude and irrationally angry customer, but I managed to keep my cool. When he finally went to leave with his purchase, I wished him a good day. He whirled around and yelled "I'll have whatever the fuck kind of day I want, bitch!" FML

#21453572
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26191) - you deserved it (1774)

On 08/08/2015 at 6:23pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my psycho ex crashed a date with my girlfriend. She acted like we were still together and made a big show of dumping me for cheating on her. My actual girlfriend bought it hook line and sinker. Now I'm single again. FML

#21453385
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25627) - you deserved it (1677)

On 08/08/2015 at 2:23am - love - by single (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, I witnessed my dad wake himself from a nap with his own fart and start panicking in confusion. I guess I shouldn't have broken down laughing, because he demanded to know what I did to him. He didn't believe the truth and bitched me out for screwing around. FML

#21453366
30 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22022) - you deserved it (1906)

On 08/08/2015 at 1:18am - misc - by Anonymous - Canada

Today, my wife handed over most of our son's college fund, in cash, to an investment scammer going by the name "Herp A. Derpson". FML

#21453336
97 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27807) - you deserved it (3078)

On 08/08/2015 at 12:02am - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I found my daughter sobbing and trying to stick a wad of gauze to her vagina. She was having her first period. FML

#21453304
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23482) - you deserved it (9931)

On 08/07/2015 at 10:16pm - kids - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, while at the local supermarket, I spotted an attractive woman packing food into a shelf. Trying to be flirty, I asked where I could find the cream cheese. Apparently, it was on the shelf right behind me. I heard her mutter "idiot" under her breath. FML

#21453297
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20146) - you deserved it (10118)

On 08/07/2015 at 9:59pm - misc - by godzilllla - United States (Washington)

Today, I went to the park and people were crowded around some dancers. One of the dancers danced up to me, gave me a flower, and winked at me. I was very flattered, until the same dancer asked me to give the flower back after the dance so he could use it on the next show. FML

#21453243
32 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23115) - you deserved it (2079)

On 08/07/2015 at 6:13pm - misc - by DietWater - United States (California)

Today, my sister offered me a couple doughnuts she bought recently. Thinking she was just being nice, I went ahead and started eating, and was met with the most horrid taste I've ever experienced. Turns out her "recently" was two weeks ago. FML

#21453223
38 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21427) - you deserved it (1949)

On 08/07/2015 at 5:18pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Plymouth)



FML's blog

  • Pauline's illustrated FML
  • Come on, no need to make that face ! Yep, it's sadly the last, mournful days of Summer. People are packing up their beach balls and flip flops, putting their caravans back into storage and trying to forget…

Friday 28 August 2015

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: