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Today, a customer came in to the Walmart I cashier at, trying to set me up with her daughter. This isn't the first time she's tried. As she so graciously put it, her daughter "has a thing for the wimpy nerdy types". FML

#21455427
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22791) - you deserved it (2052)

On 08/13/2015 at 12:13am - work - by Highroller_17 - United States

Ms_ValS's comment : Well what are you waiting for OP? If what she's saying is true, this is your chance.

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Today, my girlfriend broke up with me. I was depressed so I went to the only bar in town. When I asked for a drink, I found out she works there as the bartender. FML

#21455384
79 comments

Cinnamonscrolls's comment : How did you not know you girlfriend was a bartender?

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Today, I was woken up to the crushing of my balls after my 5-year-old son thought it would be the best way to wake me up. FML

#21455380
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21928) - you deserved it (1890)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:44pm - kids - by jjjjjohn cena - United States (Nebraska)

MrThump's comment : That's like don't bite the hand the feeds you........ Don't destroy the balls that created you.

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Today, I let out a huge fart during a job interview. I was the one conducting the interview. FML

#21455368
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19948) - you deserved it (4703)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:18pm - work - by Anonymous - United States (Arizona)

Today, my psycho ex got into my wedding ceremony and attacked my wife. FML

#21455220
116 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31783) - you deserved it (2222)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by Anonymous - United States

Today, my girlfriend of 7 months broke up with me because I refused to get her name tattooed on my chest. FML

#21455219
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (2015)

On 08/12/2015 at 1:50pm - love - by NoTattoo (man) -

Today, I was unloading Cokes outside of the movie theater I work at. While bent over, I heard someone call out, "Damn girl, you got a fat ass," followed by, "Oh God, that's a man!" I am indeed a man. FML

#21455147
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27536) - you deserved it (2400)

On 08/12/2015 at 9:50am - misc - by Why Me - United States (Washington)

Today, my mom got angry that I wasn't responding to her texts. I couldn't because I was in the dentist's chair. She'd dropped me off, and after returning from errands, sent the text from the waiting room. FML

#21455023
36 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21612) - you deserved it (1414)

On 08/12/2015 at 12:05am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, while having sex with my girlfriend for the first time, I pushed all the way in. She said, "Stop teasing me, put everything in." FML

#21454970
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33621) - you deserved it (3199)

On 08/11/2015 at 10:23pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (man) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, I got all excited because I thought my crush was flirting with me, when in actuality she was taking advantage of me liking her so she and her friends could make fun of my speech impediment. FML

#21454921
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32642) - you deserved it (1697)

On 08/11/2015 at 8:00pm - misc - by SY5623 - United Kingdom (Edinburgh, City of)

Today, my lazy bastard of a co-worker punched me straight in the jaw because he didn't get the promotion I did. Being his new manager, I fired him. A few hours later, I was fired for "abusing" my power. FML

#21454901
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28273) - you deserved it (2830)

On 08/11/2015 at 7:05pm - work - by NotJobbing (man) - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I told my boyfriend I was scared to open up to him because I had lost people in the past by doing so. After an hour of him trying to convince me to share my thoughts with him, I finally agreed to tell him some things that were worrying me. He broke up with me a minute later. FML

#21454874
101 comments

Today, my mom meant to send a picture of her poop to my aunt, but sent it to my swim coach instead. FML



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