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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my mother compared having me as a daughter to having a deadly kind of cancer. FML

#21213727
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44391) - you deserved it (4860)

On 07/19/2014 at 1:53am - misc - by wtf? - United States (Nevada)

Today, the guy I've been seeing for a year and a half ended it. Why? He found another girl. "She's just like you." FML

#21213656
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48260) - you deserved it (3500)

On 07/19/2014 at 12:43am - love - by anonymous - United States (Florida)

1dvs_bstd's comment : "But I'm all me!!"

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Today, my 3-year-old daughter asked me to carry her from the car to the house. I asked her for 3 kisses and a hug in return. She said she'd rather walk instead. FML

#21213512
44 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44454) - you deserved it (6037)

On 07/18/2014 at 10:56pm - kids - by kids say the darnedest things - United States (Colorado)

1dvs_bstd's comment : In her defence, 3 kisses and a hug sounds like too much work..

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Today, I was stuck in heavy traffic. Bored, I looked to my left and noticed someone who seemed to be asleep at the wheel. After staring for a bit, wondering how people can be so negligent, I ended up hitting the car in front of me. FML

Today, I was using a public restroom. After about a minute of me being in there, a little girl came in and started pounding on the door, screaming that she had to go. My pregnancy hormones are so bad that I almost burst into tears. FML

#21213357
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35092) - you deserved it (16404)

On 07/18/2014 at 9:04pm - misc - by LissaMccracken (woman) - United States (Arkansas)

Stazza11's comment : At least it was only tears and you didn't transform into a hormone fuelled devil that wanted to drop kick her.

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Today, my mom told me my relationship is a joke, because teenagers don't understand the meaning of relationships and commitment. I couldn't help but remind her how she's divorced three separate men to date. She hit me over the head so hard that snot flew out of my nose. FML

#21213268
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52001) - you deserved it (9633)

On 07/18/2014 at 7:06pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, my boyfriend wanted to take me out on a date. He doesn't have a car, but he said he'd borrow transport from his neighbor. He showed up at my house on a ride-on lawn mower. FML

#21213104
200 comments

I agree, your life sucks (46164) - you deserved it (6217)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:21pm - love - by Lisa (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I read a book by a former client who did time for fraud. She swears she's innocent, and blames everyone for her "ordeal": the police, court, judge, and me, her own attorney. She conveniently forgot to mention her two full confessions, one of which was given before the judge. FML

#21213089
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35143) - you deserved it (2917)

On 07/18/2014 at 4:04pm - work - by Anonymous (man) - Cura?ao

Today, I ran into my boyfriend of 5 years. The weird thing was that he was supposed to be in Iran. The even weirder thing was that he was with his wife and kids. FML

#21212869
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (66374) - you deserved it (4871)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:49pm - love - by someonepleasehelpme (woman) - United States (Virginia)

Today, I was helping out at my church. At lunchtime, a really cute guy my age walked over and told me I was pretty. I was flattered, until I turned around and saw his annoyed buddies handing him several dollar bills. FML

#21212865
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44407) - you deserved it (3642)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:45pm - money - by what people do for money - United States (Texas)

Today, I was at my grandma's funeral. While giving the eulogy, I accidentally mixed up "You will be missed" and "You won't be forgotten" and instead said "You won't be missed." FML

#21212849
74 comments

I agree, your life sucks (42283) - you deserved it (6818)

On 07/18/2014 at 12:30pm - misc - by familyhatesme - United States (Washington)

Today, I had a customer write "fuck you" in the tip option area on his credit card slip, I have no idea why. FML

#21212818
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35902) - you deserved it (4657)

On 07/18/2014 at 11:49am - work - by tuck87 - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out that my cat, that I've had for 3 years, is actually my neighbor's missing cat. FML

#21212155
175 comments

I agree, your life sucks (47361) - you deserved it (5787)

On 07/17/2014 at 7:32pm - animals - by kittynapper - United States (Colorado)



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