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Today, my friends and I were talking about our celebrity lookalikes. We decided that my friends all had attractive celebrity lookalikes, including Scarlett Johansson and Hayden Panettiere. When it was my turn, they decided that my "celebrity" lookalike is the Pillsbury Doughboy. FML

#21330766
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25975) - you deserved it (3274)

On 01/04/2015 at 4:53pm - misc - by KD (woman) - United States (California)

vreid's comment : At least you don't look like his brother Dill Dough.

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Today, I learned that my mother has been telling people that I need anger management. I'm not attending anger management, I'm attending therapy to aid in my recovery from abusive relationships. She doesn't understand the difference or why I find it upsetting. FML

#21330630
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28276) - you deserved it (1901)

On 01/04/2015 at 12:25pm - health - by thxmom - United States (Utah)

Today, I saw a homeless guy in the street. It really upset me how everyone's spirit of giving vanished as soon as Christmas was over, so I said fuck it and gave him about $50 worth of money. I barely made it 10 feet away, when another guy mugged him for the money I just gave. FML

#21330614
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35486) - you deserved it (2969)

On 01/04/2015 at 11:58am - money - by Anonymous (man) - Denmark (Midtjylland)

Pizzapiggy1's comment : Well at least you did a nice thing at the end of the day

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Today, my vegetarian girlfriend put some ghost pepper hot sauce on my steak to teach me a "lesson" about eating meat. FML

#21330517
253 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34967) - you deserved it (4827)

On 01/04/2015 at 5:27am - love - by Anonymous - Australia (Victoria)

wysteria14's comment : I'm vegan, and I can say that she's gone way too far. If she can't deal with her partner eating meat, she needs to find someone else.

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Today, I got reprimanded by my boss for saying "It's a stab in the dark, though." According to him, it's a euphemism for anal sex and I was being offensive to a gay colleague, the same one who kept insisting it was no problem. I got written up anyway. FML

#21330417
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29791) - you deserved it (1989)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:52am - work - by boss stabber (man) - United States (California)

Today, my boss called and yelled at me because he said I was "spotted" out after I called off sick. I was out getting the medicine the doctor had just prescribed me. FML

#21330412
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31432) - you deserved it (1915)

On 01/04/2015 at 1:46am - work - by gothicvamp93 (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was shopping with my dad and I saw one of my guy friends, so we waved and smiled at each other. My dad clearly thought his wave was too "romantic", because he shouted at him, "Touch her, and I'll kill you." FML

#21330296
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30464) - you deserved it (2782)

On 01/03/2015 at 10:56pm - misc - by Dear Lord Save Me (woman) - United Kingdom (Merthyr Tydfil)

Today, I bit into a piece of homegrown lettuce from my garden. Apparently, I'm not the only one to enjoy my produce, because I took a bite out of a small caterpillar. FML

#21330219
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28100) - you deserved it (8992)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:42pm - misc - by Malina - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I went into labor and got my husband drive me to the hospital. Instead of staying by my side, he rushed back home for a World of Warcraft raid. His excuse? His friends were counting on him and they'd be pissed if he let them down. FML

#21330209
243 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40645) - you deserved it (5058)

On 01/03/2015 at 8:30pm - health - by Lady Cuntsnatch of Fallopia (woman) - United States (California)

Today, I was lying in bed with my girlfriend. Trying to be romantic, I complimented her on how nice her hair smelled. She replied: "Yeah? Wait till you smell this." then let out the vilest, most nauseating fart I'd ever smelled in my life. FML

#21330185
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34334) - you deserved it (6137)

On 01/03/2015 at 7:23pm - love - by allgassedout (man) - United States (California)

Today, as I left the supermarket, I found someone had hit my car in the parking lot. There was a note tucked under the wipers. Insurance details? Nope. It just said "Sorry dude. I fucked up. Good luck with the car." Great. FML

#21330094
48 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28163) - you deserved it (1779)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - money - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my step-dad explained to me why he doesn't need to wash his body. He condescendingly said, "Well when you shampoo your hair, the soap runs down your body and cleans everything." He's 37 years old. FML

#21329998
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29036) - you deserved it (2382)

On 01/03/2015 at 4:16pm - health - by Chicagoillinois (man) - United States (California)

Today, while at work at a call center, I got a call from an elderly man who needed a new credit card because he'd accidentally cut up his own card instead of his wife's. Trying to be funny, I said "Trying to keep her in line, eh?" Turns out his wife had just died. FML



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  • Yes, we're late. We've been doing stuff, the New Year and our birthday party got in the way, but there's no excuse. So, we're sorry for not churning out another Best of the Worst in due…

Wednesday 28 January 2015

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