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Today, I was sitting in my bedroom relaxing when I heard my little sister and my brother. Thinking it was cute they were talking again, I was listening. They were not just "talking", they were making plans on how to kill me. FML

#21383476
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30962) - you deserved it (2702)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:54am - kids - by M.SHUKRI - United States (Illinois)

MrSarary's comment : You've got the advantage now, listen to their plan and make your own!! In all seriousness this is pretty scary.

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Today, I was in a public restroom taking a poop and as I started unrolling the toilet paper, the whole roll fell off the handle and rolled out underneath the cubicle door. I heard somebody laugh at me. Nobody helped. FML

#21383475
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28032) - you deserved it (2315)

On 03/29/2015 at 8:49am - misc - by ToiletRoll - Australia (Victoria)

Today, a calf kicked a needle straight into my arm hard enough to make me stab myself. The good news is I'm now fully vaccinated for cow diseases. FML

ARetardedSeal's comment : First it's the vaccine, then you'll have the urge to eat grass. Then the transformation begins

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Today, with the experience of sitting behind someone on a roller coaster, I found out pee is affected by gravity. FML

#21383398
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25845) - you deserved it (2170)

On 03/29/2015 at 2:38am - misc - by Kryometric - United States (Washington)

cutycat136's comment : If you have discovered that, let us move onto the next lesson and learn that just about every other thing you can think of is going to be affected by gravity also.

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Today, my best friend went to my boss and offered to do my job for half the pay. FML

#21383169
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27733) - you deserved it (2064)

On 03/28/2015 at 7:44pm - work - by Haggis300 - Australia

Today, my older brother puked in the sound hole of my sister's guitar. He blamed it on me, and in revenge my sister beat me with the guitar. FML

#21383103
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27136) - you deserved it (1821)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:30pm - misc - by Pukey - United States

Today, I found out that the creepy weirdo who's been sending me messages for a while is just my dad. His excuse was, "I wanted you to feel like someone would actually like you." FML

#21383075
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27048) - you deserved it (1959)

On 03/28/2015 at 4:42pm - misc - by Anonymous - United States (Colorado)

Today, my boyfriend thought it'd be romantic to take me to a strip club for our 1-year anniversary. FML

#21382971
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28207) - you deserved it (3467)

On 03/28/2015 at 1:10pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, I had my first therapy session for the issues caused by trying to please my overbearing, paranoid, self-centred mother. The first thing she did after we started driving home? Ranting at me and demanding to know if I'd been "talking shit" about her to my therapist FML

#21382942
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26934) - you deserved it (1846)

On 03/28/2015 at 11:50am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom (West Sussex)

Today, my husband was involved in a horrible series of accidents; he repeatedly slipped and fell into my best friend's vagina. FML

#21382840
188 comments

I agree, your life sucks (44186) - you deserved it (2944)

On 03/28/2015 at 5:20am - intimacy - by soontobewidow (woman) - Turkey (Istanbul)

Today, my pyromaniac sister somehow got her hands on my dad's lighter and set my bed sheets on fire. My dad said I must have provoked her, and that she can't be blamed for her mental condition. So now I'm grounded, and she has a new doll house to calm her down. FML

#21382751
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31108) - you deserved it (1961)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:39am - kids - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Alabama)

Today, while at work, a customer refused to speak louder, despite me asking her to do it several times. As a result, I took her order incorrectly. The customer then finally decided to raise her voice, but only to yell at me about my poor listening skills. FML

#21382737
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28996) - you deserved it (2121)

On 03/28/2015 at 12:16am - work - by people suck - United States (California)

Today, I was uninvited from my own birthday party. FML

#21382721
76 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29401) - you deserved it (2677)

On 03/27/2015 at 11:42pm - misc - by BirthdayBoy - United States (Wisconsin)



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