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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, someone finally told me that they couldn't live without me and that they love me more than anything. It was a student in my year 1 class. FML

#21423302
43 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23235) - you deserved it (1785)

On 06/09/2015 at 11:15am - kids - by foreveralone - Australia (Western Australia)

MandyO's comment : Tread lightly, my friend. Tread lightly.

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Today, the guy I made cookies for, spent hours getting ready for, and drove 3 hours in traffic to see never actually wanted me to come. When I knocked on his door, he opened it, but immediately closed it in my face. He then texted me saying, "I met someone else." FML

firefox9778's comment : Honestly, I'm sorry you had to drive all the way there but fuck him. He didn't even had the balls to tell you directly. Find someone who treats you better OP.

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Today, I found out the reason my crush has been talking so openly to me. Not because she likes me back, but because she thinks I'm gay. FML

#21423092
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26855) - you deserved it (2345)

On 06/08/2015 at 11:04pm - love - by Not Gay - United States (South Carolina)

nchic01's comment : Nothing like a good friendship to start things off! I'd just politely correct her and then continue to be her friend and see where it goes.

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Today, at my place of work in a fast-food restaurant, a customer called in and bitched at me that her warm food was weirdly cold. That is, after she drove 45 minutes from the restaurant to her house. FML

#21423053
45 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24362) - you deserved it (1401)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:47pm - work - by frustratedandunderpaid - Canada (New Brunswick)

Today, I threw a bonfire for my birthday. My boyfriend managed to set my leg on fire by throwing his liquor bottle into the fire. Happy birthday to me. FML

#21422985
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24078) - you deserved it (2234)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:38pm - love - by firehurts - United States (New York)

Today, I went to the living room where my mother was so I could ask her about something. I found her lying pantsless on the couch trying to cut her pubic hair with a pair of scissors. FML

#21422975
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26097) - you deserved it (1862)

On 06/08/2015 at 7:13pm - misc - by Anonymous - Ireland (Dublin)

Today, I finally slept with the man of my dreams. After he left for work, I found a six-inch skid mark smack dab in the middle of my sheets. Apparently, the man of my dreams doesn't believe in toilet paper. FML

#21422896
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25668) - you deserved it (2619)

On 06/08/2015 at 3:33pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I received a package from Amazon. My mum smiled at me when I entered the living room, pointing to my package. She had already opened it and held back her smile. My penis pills for longer endurance just got delivered. FML

#21422808
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26674) - you deserved it (7821)

On 06/08/2015 at 12:00pm - intimacy - by Wrabel (man) - Germany (Rheinland-Pfalz)

Today, I found the courage to tell my parents about my boyfriend. They reacted by simply lecturing me for an hour about how much he'll ruin my life and how much they don't like him. They haven't met him yet. FML

#21422783
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25504) - you deserved it (2211)

On 06/08/2015 at 11:08am - love - by howard1954 - United States (California)

Today, my dad told me he had a present for me. It was his tooth, which he had pulled out a few minutes before. FML

#21422763
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22360) - you deserved it (1843)

On 06/08/2015 at 10:11am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United Kingdom

Today, I am going to take a law school test. My Mom told me to relax, so I told her, "I'm better at stressing out, so I have something to fall back on if I bomb the test." To which she replied, "And masturbating, you've always excelled at that." FML

#21422751
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24201) - you deserved it (4124)

On 06/08/2015 at 9:35am - intimacy - by LZapped (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was excited because a friend had added me to a new Facebook chat consisting of my tight circle of friends from last year's summer camp. I then saw when the chat had been created. They kept me out of the chat for almost an entire year before deciding to add me. FML

Today, I went on my very first date. We went out to eat dinner and everything went great! Afterwards, I went to drop him back off at his house. I backed out of his driveway and got stuck in a ditch. His dad had to come out and tow me out. So that's how I met my boyfriend's parents. FML

#21422583
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23799) - you deserved it (3234)

On 06/07/2015 at 11:35pm - love - by firstdategoals - United States



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