Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
  • - CAUTION: Read your message over. Please don't use text language and avoid making too many spelling mistakes.
  • - Please note that spam and nonsensical stories will result in you being blocked from accessing FML.
Your nick:
Categories :
Man or woman?

Today, a new fire alarm system is being installed in my building. Not only does the alarm go off incessantly, but the elevators stop running when it happens. I live on the 12th floor. FML

Today, what I thought was going to be a lunch date turned into a life insurance sales pitch. FML

#21263186
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32298) - you deserved it (2799)

On 09/22/2014 at 3:38pm - intimacy - by WhiteCaribbean (man) - Saint Lucia (Castries)

Today, I got yelled at by a bleeding-heart hippy in the restroom for using paper towels. Apparently I'm a "tree-hating, paper-wasting bitch". I had a nosebleed. FML

#21263128
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33798) - you deserved it (2562)

On 09/22/2014 at 1:41pm - health - by Anonymous - United States (Texas)

mt631's comment : Use their shirt instead.

See all the comments →

Today, I found out that the neighborhood call-girl my husband and I secretly joke about is the same woman who secretly pleasures my husband for money. FML

#21263093
102 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40072) - you deserved it (4719)

On 09/22/2014 at 12:43pm - intimacy - by mislead - United States (Louisiana)

cjwayy's comment : Ooh, what a twist of fate!

See all the comments →

Today, coming home from a trip in the mountains, I got a cracked radiator and my car overheated. My dad came to get me, he drove my car and I followed in his. I got pulled over and ticketed for his expired registration. FML

#21263040
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32833) - you deserved it (2964)

On 09/22/2014 at 10:25am - misc - by willconqueror1 - United States

Today, I learned that even though a woman has a baby carriage and seems friendly, she won't be afraid to mug you in front of her kid. FML

#21262985
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34802) - you deserved it (2866)

On 09/22/2014 at 6:58am - health - by deathstar3548 (man) - United States (Florida)

beaglegal's comment : F that baby's life.... He or she will have a terrible mother!

See all the comments →

Today, I got hit by a car while riding my bike to work. In the hospital, every single nurse lectured me about how I wouldn't be here if I wore a helmet, which I'm sure would be really helpful to my broken leg. FML

#21262936
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (37499) - you deserved it (4555)

On 09/22/2014 at 2:45am - health - by thebrokentardis (woman) - United States (Minnesota)

Today, I was reviewing for a major nursing school exam I have this week. I panicked because none of the material seemed familiar, and figured that I must've missed something during class and now had to catch up. After 4 hours, I finally realized that I'd been studying from the wrong textbook. FML

#21262757
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29611) - you deserved it (12438)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:12pm - misc - by IdiotNursingStudent (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, my boyfriend and I celebrated our six-month anniversary. And by that, I mean he brought along his obnoxious best friend, and I paid for everyone's dinner at an expensive restaurant. FML

#21262754
107 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31613) - you deserved it (6382)

On 09/21/2014 at 10:11pm - love - by thnxbabe -

Today, the man who hit on me in a store and asked for my number showed up on my doorstep to inquire about my couch for sale. With his wife. FML

#21262712
53 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31044) - you deserved it (2258)

On 09/21/2014 at 9:27pm - misc - by ohtheirony -

Today, I had a garage sale, and had amongst my clothing a few sets of underwear. A old man came up and asked to buy all of them. I'm so poor, I couldn't say no to the pervert. FML

#21262480
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34236) - you deserved it (6956)

On 09/21/2014 at 2:23pm - money - by sickened (woman) - United Kingdom (Gateshead)

Today, I flew across country to college. My luggage did not. FML

#21262400
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35088) - you deserved it (2812)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:51am - misc - by Need Clothes Now (woman) - United States (Oregon)

Today, I heard what sounded like high-pitched feminine moaning coming from my son's room. I knocked and walked in, expecting to catch him red handed with a girl. He'd just beaten his high score on Flappy Bird. FML

#21262395
109 comments

I agree, your life sucks (348) - you deserved it (7880)

On 09/21/2014 at 11:33am - intimacy - by royallymessedup - United Kingdom



Zach Stafford's illustrated FML

The Artist's interview

All illustrated FMLs

FML's blog

  • Zach's illustrated FML
  • Everybody's talking about Ebola at the moment. I have trouble keeping up with the latest trends. I'm going to wait until Christmas and see what special offers turn up in the shops, under funky new names…

Friday 17 October 2014

The whole blog

FMyLife, world tour

Available on: