Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I lost my virginity to my boyfriend of 7 years. He thrusted as fast as rabbits. I waited years for 10 seconds. FML

#21514734
15 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22504) - you deserved it (5900)

On 01/13/2016 at 1:30pm - intimacy - by ShouldveStayedAVirgin - United States (Texas)

Today, after months of trying to train my cockatiel to perch on my finger, he finally trusted me enough to fly from his cage and land on my hand. I panicked and accidentally backhanded him across the room. FML

#21514709
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16618) - you deserved it (17664)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:05pm - animals - by parasheeeet (woman) - United States (Alabama)

jsan727's comment : I'm not an expert, but I don't think that's how you play angry birds...

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Today, I learned how it feels to sneeze after having major spinal surgery when the pain medication has almost completely worn off. FML

#21514699
57 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23268) - you deserved it (1483)

On 01/13/2016 at 11:13am - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, the guy I'm dating took me to a dinner party at a couple's house. Halfway through dinner, I realized they were having the dinner party for the sole purpose of introducing him to their recently single daughter. FML

#21514669
52 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (1541)

On 01/13/2016 at 8:56am - love - by Angel (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

KingLewisII's comment : do they know you're dating or do they just not like you?

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Today, my card got declined at Subway, so I walked to the nearest cashpoint thirty minutes away to frantically figure out how much cash I had in my card. As I went to pull my card out of my purse, it slipped from my grip and fell into the sewer. The guy behind me snorted with laughter. FML

#21514655
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22509) - you deserved it (2328)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:15am - money - by brokeandcardless (woman) - United Kingdom (Cardiff)

purplemango's comment : Don't you have an app for checking that?

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Today, at work a customer yelled at me, called me a 'fucking bitch', 'a fat whore', and, told me to lose weight because I wouldn't let her in the grocery store I work at to buy lettuce, after we'd closed. Lettuce for her lizard. FML

#21514651
62 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21496) - you deserved it (1683)

On 01/13/2016 at 7:06am - work - by midnightblade163 - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, I called my mom to make sure she could attend on the wedding day my fiance and I had discussed. She started off with criticizing the venue we considered, then went on to criticize my fiancé, and then stated she would under no circumstances help out, but demanded to pick my wedding dress. FML

#21514623
58 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21343) - you deserved it (1354)

On 01/13/2016 at 3:53am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Denmark

Today, I dreamed a rat crawled up from the toilet and attacked me. Now I'm afraid to even enter the bathroom. FML

#21514609
47 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16878) - you deserved it (3537)

On 01/13/2016 at 2:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Netherlands (Noord-Holland)

Today, neither I nor any of my coworkers understand why our boss hates me enough that I feel the need to carry pepperspray on me at all times. FML

#21514601
39 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18512) - you deserved it (1470)

On 01/13/2016 at 1:58am - work - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, sewage came up the toilet and tub in my apartment and spread far enough to get into the hallway. The maintenance crew found the source of the blocked pipes to be a ten inch long weave some idiot flushed down a toilet. FML

#21514581
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19762) - you deserved it (1064)

On 01/13/2016 at 12:54am - misc - by NeedsANewApartment (man) - United States (New York)

Today, I was eating at a diner one of my friends from work recommended to me. I ordered a chicken salad sandwich, which was pretty good despite the used bandaid in it. FML

#21514494
35 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19729) - you deserved it (1208)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:41pm - misc - by anon - United States

Today, my mom smoked pot in my sister's bedroom while I was at school. When I noticed the stench, she blamed the cat. FML

#21514487
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19551) - you deserved it (1497)

On 01/12/2016 at 9:10pm - misc - by Mellamononeyobiz (woman) - United States (Nebraska)

Today, while I was walking across a bridge, a prepubescent middle schooler grabbed my phone from my hand and threw it into the water. His friend filmed it, high-fived him, and they both ran off. I got that phone less than a week ago. FML

#21514472
130 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22764) - you deserved it (1513)

On 01/12/2016 at 8:18pm - misc - by ripmyphone - United States (Virginia)



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