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Today, my boyfriend tried to claim it was my fault that he cheated on me, all because I "deprived" him of sex for two weeks last month when I went on a family vacation. If his mental gymnastics were physical, I swear he'd be able to suck his own cock. FML

#21452247
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25313) - you deserved it (2241)

On 08/05/2015 at 1:35pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New York)

JMichael's comment : It's ridiculous the rationality people come up with for cheating on people.

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Today, I entered a painting I'd worked on for weeks into an art competition. I won nothing. I wouldn't care so much if the guy I lost out to hadn't submitted a blank canvas and called it a "conceptual piece". FML

#21452227
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24874) - you deserved it (1685)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:47pm - misc - by thekyledavid (man) - United Kingdom (Oxfordshire)

mds9986's comment : Art always confused me. You have great artists winning nothing and not having their work known, while another artists draw nothing but a blue line and sells it for millions.

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Today, while my boyfriend and I were getting intimate, I let out a moan that can only really be described as sounding like a clown car horn. He ended up laughing so hard that he couldn't continue. FML

#21452187
33 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22085) - you deserved it (4082)

On 08/05/2015 at 10:06am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

Welshite's comment : The next step is finding out how many men can fit inside. You'll be a hit at the local circus.

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Today, my girlfriend and I were making love. It got hot and intense and we were really into it, until she blurted out, "Oh baby, rub your penis against mine". FML

Today, I got written up because apparently leaning on the counter at work is unprofessional, even if you're about to pass out and the counter is the only thing keeping you on your feet. FML

#21452123
59 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22823) - you deserved it (2005)

On 08/05/2015 at 4:39am - work - by kaybear13 - United States (California)

Today, my boyfriend broke up with me because he wasn't feeling our two-month relationship was up to par with his parents' 30-year marriage, and, furthermore, I wasn't similar enough to his mother. FML

#21452087
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24301) - you deserved it (1905)

On 08/05/2015 at 2:13am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today, I found out that you can ruin a $500 computer with a few stray drops of 100% acetone nail polish remover on the keyboard. FML

#21452034
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (11948) - you deserved it (19616)

On 08/05/2015 at 12:37am - misc - by just wanted nice nails - United States (Tennessee)

Today, my boyfriend told me he doesn't like cuddling in bed because he hates rebreathing his own carbon dioxide. FML

#21451972
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21683) - you deserved it (2611)

On 08/04/2015 at 10:33pm - love - by Carowl (woman) -

Today, I found out my new puppy has worms by him scooting his butt across my new carpet. It's like smeared spaghetti. FML

#21451858
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23352) - you deserved it (2401)

On 08/04/2015 at 5:42pm - love - by Anonymous - United States (Michigan)

Today, the girl I've loved for years kissed me. Then she started crying and wiping her mouth, and had a panic attack. I had to help her through it, tell her that it was no big deal, and that it would never happen again. FML

Today, while shaving in the shower, my mother banged on the bathroom door to tell me something, right as I went to shave under my left armpit, causing me to jump and cut open my nipple. FML

#21451832
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24283) - you deserved it (1852)

On 08/04/2015 at 4:56pm - misc - by anonymous - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found out what mouse intestines squashed against my bare feet feels like. FML

#21451813
71 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24103) - you deserved it (2409)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:19pm - animals - by whydoihavecats - United Kingdom

Today, my boss made me type up my own written warning, where I had to trash myself and describe my own "shocking incompetence". All the department heads are going to receive a copy of this. FML

#21451804
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (22114) - you deserved it (2791)

On 08/04/2015 at 3:06pm - work - by ksa (man) - Poland (Slaskie)



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