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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I woke up really early to get ready for an interview. I guess it was too early because my mom thought someone broke into our house and now I have two bruised ribs. FML

#21288937
29 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28622) - you deserved it (2261)

On 10/31/2014 at 8:05am - misc - by nopethanks - United States (Minnesota)

Today, my boyfriend told my four-year-old sister that "fatass" means "beautiful lady." I didn't know about this until I took my sister shopping with me. The woman at the till said she was adorable; my sister replied, "Thanks, fatass." FML

#21288917
41 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31180) - you deserved it (2606)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:55am - kids - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Rhondda Cynon Taff)

Today, my friend thought she would "save me some time" by spoiling Game of Thrones. FML

#21288916
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28118) - you deserved it (3694)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:46am - misc - by Anonymous - Australia

Today, the fire alarm keeps going off at my apartment. Not only is the noise ear-piercingly loud enough to wake the entire neighbourhood, there's also a big flashing red light in case the deafening sound isn't enough. This is my day off. It's going on all day. FML

#21288915
40 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25818) - you deserved it (2120)

On 10/31/2014 at 6:42am - misc - by Shutup! - United Kingdom (London, City of)

Today, I came to the conclusion I have three kids instead of two, after having to force my husband to take a shower. It's been a week. FML

#21288837
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27952) - you deserved it (2791)

On 10/31/2014 at 1:10am - health - by NoScrubs - United States (California)

Today, I found out that the girl on Facebook that helped me out of my sadness after my break-up and who I'd hopelessly fallen in love with was just a prank by my ex-girlfriend. FML

#21288808
86 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34296) - you deserved it (3683)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:25am - love - by facebookdeception - New Zealand (Auckland)

doumtabarnack's comment : That evil bitch.

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Today, my ex-girlfriend started dating the guy she told me not to worry about when we dated. FML

#21288806
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34325) - you deserved it (3619)

On 10/31/2014 at 12:24am - love - by anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I found out the guy I've been dating for 5 months is engaged to his girlfriend of 3 years. I found out as we were talking, waiting for him to come outside after work. FML

#21288734
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32130) - you deserved it (2432)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:32pm - intimacy - by taylor w - United States

JonBall's comment : If she hasn't done so herself, I suggest the both of you dump his ass.

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Today, my now ex-boyfriend actually tried to justify his cheating by saying it doesn't count as cheating if the girl's bisexual. FML

#21288568
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32379) - you deserved it (2507)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:16pm - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Israel (Tel Aviv)

Today, my mom spelled my name with all lowercase letters. When I asked her why she wrote it like that, she got pissed and snapped back, "Capitals are for people who amount to something." FML

#21288559
46 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31056) - you deserved it (3205)

On 10/30/2014 at 6:05pm - misc - by wow (man) - United States (California)

devildog562's comment : Your mom sucks. Notice mom is lowercased.

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Today, I had to go to my dentist about a chipped tooth. I got it after my hand slipped off my dick and slammed straight into my face while I was masturbating. FML

#21288518
136 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26009) - you deserved it (21331)

On 10/30/2014 at 4:55pm - intimacy - by Anonymous - United States (Washington)

Today, I found out that there's a very loud and frisky couple living above my bedroom, and a family with a crying baby living above my living room. At this rate, I'll end up sleeping in the bathtub in my own home. FML

#21288322
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29613) - you deserved it (2293)

On 10/30/2014 at 10:15am - misc - by ineedsleep (woman) - Finland (Southern Finland)

Today, I told my boyfriend that it's time for him to stop blaming others and own up to his mistakes. He retorted, "Don't blame me!" FML

#21288212
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27726) - you deserved it (3150)

On 10/30/2014 at 3:25am - love - by Anonymous - United States (Missouri)



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