Today, like any other day I moan after I sneeze. The only issue is that today my husband was on the phone with his grandmother, and had to explain to her, while trying not to laugh, that he wasn't having sex with me while on the phone. FML
by DeadLily / 05/07/2016 at 9:12am / United States (Virginia) / Miscellaneous
by jameen / 05/07/2016 at 7:48am / United Kingdom (West Berkshire) / Intimacy
Ben_Dover831's comment : Tbh some people are just stupid af they sue for the dumbest shit ever. I remember a while ago a burglar broke in a house, got attacked by the owners dog, sued because the owner didn't have a beware of dog sign, and won the case like wtf is up with all this bullshit.
by 3,500 down / 05/07/2016 at 4:00am / United States (Oklahoma) / Money
justcommenting19's comment : No taxis, or other methods of transport? I seriously think you should've had a back up since we all know how unreliable buses can be sometimes... Really sorry OP.
Today, I went on a second date with a guy who seemed perfect in every way possible. That is until he started mentioned how children are a deal-breaker for him. I had to break it to him that I have a 14 month old daughter. He actually had the balls to ask if I'd ever consider foster care. Seriously, dude? FML
by Anonymous / 05/07/2016 at 1:49am / Australia (Victoria) / Kids
Nati9876's comment : Everything was fine until he asked about foster care. Some people just don't like/ want children.
Today, I had to repeatedly explain to my nosy, interfering, clingy, no-concept-of-personal-space mom that I'm not okay with her moving into my new house, or the same neighborhood, or even the same goddamn state as me when I get married next week. FML
by kill me / 05/06/2016 at 8:58pm / United States (California) / Miscellaneous
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 9:40pm / United States (California) / Intimacy
by TriangularBanana / 05/06/2016 at 5:45pm / United States (Texas) / Love
Today, working as a veterinarian, I received a complaint from a client. He said I sucked at my job, purely because I implied he should have brought his severely ill cat in a lot sooner. Which he should have. FML
by lucywatson / 05/06/2016 at 3:06pm / United Kingdom / Work
Today, my dad and I ran into a guy I've been dating. He flipped out and accused me of cheating on him. This is now the second guy to have a similar reaction to my dad. I guess this is one of those unexpected consequences of teen pregnancy that my parents didn't see coming. FML
by Anonymous / 05/06/2016 at 12:55pm / United States (Pennsylvania) / Miscellaneous
Today, while shopping, I told my wife I'd love some pork chops for dinner. Someone nearby muttered, "That's practically cannibalism, ya fat pig." My wife immediately had a "coughing attack" that sounded suspiciously like it was covering up laughter. FML
by dempasi / 05/06/2016 at 2:51pm / United States (New York) / Miscellaneous
- Today I got a message from a girl I've been dating; I've dated a few women the last couple of years… Today,after being single for close to 8 years I asked a girl out I have known for a few months. She… Today,my husband decided he needs to be a truck driver. That means our 7 weeks of marriage will be…