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Today, I called my boss a "fucking retard" for doing something insanely stupid, only for him to find out 5 minutes later that I did exactly the same thing. I'll never hear the end of this now. FML

HeWillBeLoved105's comment : Why would you ever talk to your boss like that? That's your fault, OP.

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Today, I was talking to my friend in Spanish because he understands it better than English. We were in the middle of a discussion about a TV show when some guy from our school ran up, spat on my shoes and screamed, "I SPEAK SPANISH, STOP TALKING ABOUT ME!" and ran away. FML

RenoTheRhino's comment : What a puto.

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Today, I paid a local homeless man to rake the leaves in my yard. After paying and driving him to the bus stop, I found his shit on my back porch. I need new shoes. FML

#21349786
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27103) - you deserved it (3233)

On 02/04/2015 at 4:49pm - misc - by jl_word - United States

RobinGoodfellow's comment : I'm assuming you stepped in it by accident, but for a moment there I thought he'd pooped in a pair of shoes you left on the porch.

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Today, my fiancée told me about her new diet. Apparently, she is only going to drink water and tan in a tanning bed so she can photosynthesise. She thinks this will help her lose weight, since she doesn't have to eat anything. I'm dating a dumbass. FML

Today, I'm here to inform men that, "If I fucked you, I wouldn't pull out" is not an effective pick up line. Ever. Especially on a coworker. FML

#21349737
105 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31537) - you deserved it (4720)

On 02/04/2015 at 3:17pm - intimacy - by No thank you (woman) - United States (Ohio)

Today, at work, I sneezed so hard that I hit my head on my cash register. A second later, I heard roaring laughter from the security room, followed by someone saying to play it back. I'd almost convinced myself it wasn't about me, when one of the guys came out and gave me a thumb up. FML

#21349710
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33611) - you deserved it (2972)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:28pm - work - by fxck (woman) -

Today, my boyfriend of 5 days proposed to me at the mall. FML

#21349612
156 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38935) - you deserved it (3992)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:06am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - Netherlands

Today, while on the job I accidentally locked my keys and all of my equipment in the car. I work for the AAA. FML

#21349609
55 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27883) - you deserved it (4709)

On 02/04/2015 at 11:02am - work - by AAA guy - United States

Today, after a heavy make-out session, my boyfriend and I discovered his lips bruise really easily. This wouldn't be a problem except he's been telling people I hit him. He thinks it's hilarious. FML

#21349595
80 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34374) - you deserved it (3685)

On 02/04/2015 at 10:16am - intimacy - by Grrrreat (man) - United Kingdom (Hertford)

Today, I discovered my elderly neighbour likes to roam around his yard naked and wash his balls with the sprinkler. I'm never going to grab a snack in my kitchen again. FML

#21349488
72 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29338) - you deserved it (2216)

On 02/04/2015 at 2:44am - misc - by Sprinkles (man) - Australia

Today, my science teacher decided not to recommend me for an honors science class for next year. The reason? Last week, I made the mistake of asking whether spray tans give vitamins in the same way as the sun. FML

#21349372
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14163) - you deserved it (42698)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:53pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Nevada)

Today, I shaved for the first time. My mum gave me a razor and I spent about 20 minutes trying to use it. I gave up, yelling, "FUCK IT!" and put it back on the shelf. It fell, and as it hit the floor, a lid fell off. I'd tried to shave with a sheathed razor for 20 minutes. FML

#21349366
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14617) - you deserved it (38183)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:45pm - health - by februarymarchapril (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, the kid I was tutoring told me that "pirates were a myth. Like the Greeks and Romans." He's 16. FML

#21349360
91 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32916) - you deserved it (2347)

On 02/03/2015 at 10:39pm - misc - by FrustratedTutor - United States (Kansas)



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  • The Best of the Worst #12
  • Another month, another bunch of shitposts. Yes, it's time to delve into the postbag and have another look at the weird and wonderful stuff we've been sent by people from all over the world. Hope you…

Tuesday 3 March 2015

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