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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I cleaned my bathroom from top to bottom. Tonight, my husband threw up all over the bathroom. He actually cleaned it up himself, including the toilet. I went to use the toilet, put down the seat and sat down. Guess which part of the toilet he DIDN'T clean. FML

#5410681
69 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34012) - you deserved it (4978)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:36am - misc - by kimmybr (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, I found my biological father, who I have never met, on facebook and decided to message him. He blocked me. FML

#5410581
92 comments

I agree, your life sucks (52530) - you deserved it (6114)

On 09/22/2009 at 5:12am - misc - by snow (woman) - Australia (Victoria)

Today, as I was coming out of the ladies' room, I saw a guy glancing at me. A few minutes later, I saw him coming at me at a fast rate. I decided to run from him. As I got out of the building and into a cab, I saw him from the window waving my phone at me. He was just trying to return it. FML

#5410009
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8559) - you deserved it (42598)

On 09/22/2009 at 3:36am - misc - by georgiana072 (woman) - Philippines (Benguet)

Today, I felt a tug on my backpack and found my wallet missing. A nice stranger pointed to a guy running down the stairs and said "There goes the guy who took your wallet!" I ran to catch the supposed offender. The 'nice' stranger was the actual offender distracting me as he got away. FML

#5409336
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35208) - you deserved it (6838)

On 09/22/2009 at 2:20am - money - by robbedonCTA (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I was in class just taking notes and minding my own business. The teacher has already called my parents twice complaining about me. As we are taking 3 pages of notes she grabs mine and rips them up, saying that she is sick and tired of me drawing. I was drawing the graphs on the board. FML

#5408383
103 comments

I agree, your life sucks (45476) - you deserved it (2980)

On 09/22/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by wait..what (woman) - United States (Alabama)

Today, I realized that my alcoholism has gotten so bad that I rotate liquor stores so the clerks don't think bad about me. FML

#5407765
104 comments

I agree, your life sucks (13670) - you deserved it (47231)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:37am - health - by Cpt_Concerned (man) - Canada (Alberta)

Today, my boyfriend asked me to marry him by handing me a ring and telling me, "Okay we're engaged now." I should have seen it coming when we started dating, I went to his house one night and as I was leaving he said, "Okay you're my girlfriend now." FML

#5407615
184 comments

I agree, your life sucks (38075) - you deserved it (15348)

On 09/22/2009 at 12:27am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Oklahoma)

allmidnighteyes's comment : Okay, you're divorced now. Okay, you're paying alimony now. Okay, you're a cougar now. Okay, you're dead now. Okay, you're a zombie now.

See all the comments →

Today, there was a fire alarm in my dorm. Just as I was leaving my room, a lady in the hallway told me that it was a drill and they'd be inspecting rooms, so I would need to leave my door unlocked. When I came back, my room was trashed and my laptop, speakers, and jewelry were gone. FML

#5406145
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36080) - you deserved it (14881)

On 09/21/2009 at 11:19pm - misc - by zzyx (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I had to cover for my coworker who didn't turn up for work. He is always late for work and I was pissed off about having to cover for him again so I said to my colleagues "He better be either in hospital or dead." Turns out he was dead. FML

#5403982
66 comments

I agree, your life sucks (40023) - you deserved it (12591)

On 09/21/2009 at 10:06pm - work - by mcdeez (man) - New Zealand (Auckland)

Today, I got a call from a prominent orchestra asking me to play with them. They were especially interested because I'm still in high school. I called to accept only to find out that my mother had already declined the offer for me because I "only" have a 3.7. FML

#5403553
123 comments

I agree, your life sucks (41957) - you deserved it (2390)

On 09/21/2009 at 9:50pm - work - by bass (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I decided not to park in the parking garage on campus, in an attempt to save the $8 it would have cost me. Instead, I parked in a surface lot (about a mile away) and got a $50 parking ticket for not having a permit to park there. FML

#5399983
28 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7513) - you deserved it (37567)

On 09/21/2009 at 7:34pm - misc - by ScorpioQueen (woman) - United States (New York)

Today, I got a new computer because my old one crashed, deleting all music, photos, and documents. I still had all my music on my iPod though, and went to sync it to the new computer. By accident, my younger brother pulled the cord out before it was done, deleting all 3,000 songs forever. FML

#5395665
227 comments

I agree, your life sucks (43872) - you deserved it (6451)

On 09/21/2009 at 4:22pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Pennsylvania)

Today, I decided I would call in sick to work after working 60 hours the week before just so I could have a day off... My body responded this morning with vomiting and diarrhea so I had to call in sick and didn't get to have much fun... Karma 1 Me 0. FML

#5395171
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30145) - you deserved it (9994)

On 09/21/2009 at 3:50pm - work - by sick (woman) - United States (New Hampshire)



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