Miscellaneous: Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu...

By oops - 18/05/2009 04:17 - United States

Today, while I was waitressing, I bent down to pick up a menu and accidentally farted, really loud, at my table. FML

I agree, your life sucks 53 499

You deserved it 10 826

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Same thing different taste

Panic!

By Anonymous - 31/12/2023 08:00 - United States

Today, I fucked up by trusting the wrong fart and shat myself in the middle of the restaurant I was eating lunch at. I was so mortified, I couldn't even finish the meal I paid for. FML

I agree, your life sucks 248

You deserved it 460

By combovercaiti_ - 25/01/2019 12:00

Today, I was waiting in line at the store trying to hold in a fart. I get to the cash register and the lady made me laugh and the fart slipped out. Only it was much louder than it was supposed to be, because I was squeezing my butt cheeks together, so it made a clapping sound. It was heard. FML

I agree, your life sucks 2 281

You deserved it 358

Denial

By Loud - 08/09/2016 06:07 - Australia

Today, at work, I needed to fart and thought it would be fast and silent, so I let it rip. I was wrong. Everyone turned around and looked at me as my fart rolled on for a good 10 seconds. The worst part, I screamed, "It wasn't me!" while I was still farting. FML

I agree, your life sucks 16 595

You deserved it 8 487

By oops - 04/03/2016 21:28 - United States - Mankato

Today, I accidentally farted while shopping. There was an awkward silence followed by a god-awful stink and a lady's little girl bursting into tears. FML

I agree, your life sucks 19 036

You deserved it 3 411

By Anonymous - 28/11/2010 08:07 - United States

Today, I went to a very crowded restaurant. Being really shy, I requested to sit in the corner, but instead they placed me in the center of the dinning area. I started to eat my food and got really spaced out. Suddenly I sneeze-farted and everyone turned to look at me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 31 037

You deserved it 7 192

By dealtit - 30/07/2014 03:49 - United States - Toccoa

Today, I accidentally farted in the middle of class. Thinking I got away with it, I just kept doing my work until some kid across the room says, "I could have done better." FML

I agree, your life sucks 39 157

You deserved it 6 835

By fart - 27/11/2014 15:13 - United States - Houghton Lake

Today, I farted while asking a girl out to dinner. FML

I agree, your life sucks 35 113

You deserved it 7 279

By tmac05 - 13/11/2010 05:13 - United States

Today, the waiter farted while I was on a date. My date thought it was me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 33 836

You deserved it 3 011

By Gob - 16/01/2009 14:36 - United States

Today, while waiting for class, I let out a huge fart in front of everyone thinking no one would hear it over the music. I was wearing headphones. FML

I agree, your life sucks 11 821

You deserved it 42 642

By fartwoman - 23/06/2010 01:41 - United States

Today, in math class, I had the urge to fart. I had the bright idea that if I dropped my textbook and farted at the same time, nobody would hear it. I dropped my textbook, everyone looked at me, then I farted. Loudly. FML

I agree, your life sucks 21 126

You deserved it 62 867

splat_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:53

Today, when I was out to go for a romantic diner with my girlfriend, a waitress came up to us. Right before she was going to give us the menu, she farted really loud. I felt my hair blowing in the wind. FML.

24788 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

That's what I call giving your customers a little extra. Even though it's a horrible gift!

Comments

grazynaanka 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:07

hahahaha that's funny.

robotiick 12

Wednesday 27 April 2011 0:21

lol when I read tht she bent down I thought it was gunna say tht they could see her thong lol I was wrong

crudeandrudeguy 29

Friday 25 December 2015 1:18

Just turn around and say may I recommend the tacos...

jessicasquash 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:10

whooooops

ollievah 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

hahaha niceeee.

Aelaena 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

HAHAH how embarassing

24788 6

Monday 18 May 2009 12:15

That's what I call giving your customers a little extra. Even though it's a horrible gift!

Dukedj 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:17

Lol. Did they all start coughing and gagging?

FPsLife 5

Monday 18 May 2009 12:20

Hawt

biancagolden 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:27

did you get a hefty tip?

sevich 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:40

This FML stinks

splat_fml 0

Monday 18 May 2009 12:53

KingKralj 31

Saturday 9 July 2016 23:32

"I felt my hair blowing in the wind" You sir, win FML

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Today, my mother, who thinks I'm a virgin, called me while I was having sex with my boyfriend. I have to answer every time she calls or she freaks out. I ended the conversation quickly and hung up. Or so I thought. She listened in to the rest of our 20-minute lovemaking session, and I have some explaining to do. FML

I agree, your life sucks 789

You deserved it 1 707

Today, during an episode of King of Queens that my boyfriend has seen more than once, I decided I'd try to get a little frisky. I straddled him while he was on the bed and began taking my clothes of. He pushed me out of the way and said, "Don't get naked in front of the TV." FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 732

You deserved it 4 481

The Top

Today, after an 8-month wait, I went on my big vacation. The beach, the sea, the dive, the jellyfish, the allergic reaction, the hospital. FML

I agree, your life sucks 26 727

You deserved it 1 735

Today, my mother taught my 98-year-old great-uncle to knock on the wall if he needs us. He can't remember who we are, but every hour he can remember to knock to ask, "Is it breakfast yet?" FML

I agree, your life sucks 40 812

You deserved it 4 145

Today, my wife found out about all the crazy stuff my ex and I used to do in my car, which I still drive. Serves me right for encouraging them to be friends. I hope she doesn’t find out about what went down on our ottoman, I can’t afford a new one. FML

I agree, your life sucks 381

You deserved it 1 440

Today, my uncle died from COVID he contracted at church. During the service, his pastor got up and started talking about how proud he was that my uncle didn't let a pandemic stop him from going to worship. At the church. That gave him COVID. FML

I agree, your life sucks 1 308

You deserved it 168

Today, I found the perfect job, which would help me escape my super toxic in-laws and marriage. I have all the educational and other qualifications for it, and it is a permanent well paying job with the government. Too bad the recruitment process takes years to complete, by which time I might've offed myself. FML

I agree, your life sucks 919

You deserved it 160

Today, my friend found a picture of herself on a website filled with pictures of thin people. I was in the picture, also. I was crossed-out with the word, "EWW" written next to me. FML

I agree, your life sucks 34 147

You deserved it 4 322

Same thing different taste

Panic!

Denial

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