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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my husband informed me that his father adopted a dog. I replied "Cool," he then said, "She happens to have your name." I think my father in law is trying to send me a message. FML

#13615353
73 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25470) - you deserved it (2803)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:46pm - animals - by Florida - United States (California)

Today, my dad asked me for a word that rhymes with vagina. He was filling out an anniversary card for my mom. FML

#13614950
142 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32171) - you deserved it (2853)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:59pm - intimacy - by nothingdoes (woman) - United States

Today, I proposed to my girlfriend. She said she wanted to stay just friends. Not only did I get denied, apparently we're also "just friends." FML

#13614592
61 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36467) - you deserved it (3386)

On 10/27/2010 at 1:19pm - love - by just_friends (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, a hummingbird somehow got into my house. I spent two and a half hours trying to get it out after finally using a blanket to catch it. I run outside to release it from my hands, and it flew back into my house. FML

#13614201
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27676) - you deserved it (6152)

On 10/27/2010 at 12:17pm - misc - by Anonymous (man) - United States (California)

Today, when I got home from work, my fiancé was finishing up with the plumber who had just installed new fixtures for our shower. I decided that I was going to be the first to break it in. I went to the bathroom, got undressed and went to start the water. The OTHER plumber was still in there. FML

#13613595
96 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12185) - you deserved it (26218)

On 10/27/2010 at 10:37am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Florida)

Today, my boyfriend elbowed me in the eye while we were sleeping. His excuse: "You shouldn't have stayed over." FML

#13612970
60 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28500) - you deserved it (5543)

On 10/27/2010 at 8:36am - love - by me - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, it was my little girl's birthday and her grandparents came over to celebrate. One of the presents from her grandparents turned out to be a sweater. She then asked, "Mommy, may I please lie?" When I shook my head no, she exclaimed, "I hate this ugly sweater!" FML

#13612697
81 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12742) - you deserved it (33006)

On 10/27/2010 at 7:47am - kids - by Lisaaa - Canada (Ontario)

Today, we surprised my grandpa by being at his house when he arrived. We haven't seen him in seven years. He had a small heart attack. It was his birthday. FML

#13612177
67 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28371) - you deserved it (7747)

On 10/27/2010 at 6:04am - misc - by Sean - United States (Florida)

Today, I decided to let in my new German Shepherd puppy inside to show the guest how adorable he is. In the middle of our conversation, he came running up to us with my vibrator in his mouth. FML

#13611565
110 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27692) - you deserved it (14345)

On 10/27/2010 at 3:37am - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Hawaii)

Today, at work, there is a rumor going around that I'm gay. Somewhat curious at how did this start, I asked a co-worker. He said I was seen 3 days ago at a mall holding hands with someone who looks like a guy from behind. Three days ago, I was at the mall with my girlfriend. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were snuggling and telling eachother nice things. The nicest thing he could think of to say to me was "Well, I see you shaved your mustache." FML

#13611017
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28083) - you deserved it (6188)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:12am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I took a shower and right after I fell asleep on my bed wrapped in my towel. I awoke to find my dad slapping me in the face. He thought I had fainted because I'm a diabetic. FML

#13610970
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26885) - you deserved it (5336)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:07am - health - by haleyfml - United States (California)

Today, I asked my boyfriend what he was being for halloween. He said "Single". FML

#13610925
133 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48038) - you deserved it (5009)

On 10/27/2010 at 2:01am - love - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (New Jersey)



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