Today, my boyfriend set up a very romantic dinner. Afterwards, he offered to wash the dishes while I went upstairs and relaxed. His way of washing the dishes was to scrape all the food off, then wipe the juices off the dishes with a paper towel before putting them back in the cupboards. FML

by Myboyfriendisaromanticslob / 03/10/2011 at 12:09am / Canada (British Columbia) / Miscellaneous

Today, the seat in my car broke and wouldn't move forward. I had to walk to school in the rain because I was too short to reach the pedals. FML

by ants9omarching / 03/09/2011 at 8:48pm / United States (Oregon) / Transportation

Today, I bought my fiancée a dress for her birthday. She accused me of saying she was fat, because I bought it in medium rather than small. After trying on the dress, she's now not only mad at me for buying it, but also because the dress fits perfectly. FML

by drebel / 03/09/2011 at 5:27pm / United States (Texas) / Love

AmberlovesJb's comment : Since when is a medium bad?

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Today, I was told that I will never be able to have children. Thankfully for my husband, his girlfriend sure can. FML

by sosad / 03/09/2011 at 5:08pm / Love

Today, I lost my cat. It's deaf, so no matter what I do it can't hear me. FML

by blahhlovely_30 / 03/09/2011 at 3:03pm / United States (Texas) / Animals

Today, I was getting dirty looks on the train whilst air strumming the guitar to a song on my iPod, after glancing at the reflection in the window I realized it looked like I was masturbating. FML

by anonymouse / 03/09/2011 at 2:37pm / Reserved / Intimacy

Today, I was walking with my crush, and I told him how I felt. As soon as I turned to him, a bird shit on my face. FML

by crazystar69 / 03/09/2011 at 1:19pm / United States (California) / Love

Today, I was having sex with a really hot guy. It was going great until his 6-year-old brother walked in and screamed so loudly it brought both of his parents running. FML

by prdept. / 03/09/2011 at 12:12pm / France (Rhone-Alpes) / Intimacy

RecklessJellyBea's comment : Sex in a house with his brother and parents present? Oh, you silly teens... When will you guys learn.

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Today, I went on a dinner date with the guy I like. He ate all his food then started eating off my plate, going on to eat over half of my food. When the bill came, he made me pay for it. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 11:07am / Canada (Saskatchewan) / Miscellaneous

Today, a little boy called me on the phone, crying "grandma died" in a broken voice. I just didn't have the heart to say "wrong number." FML

by Waffle / 03/09/2011 at 10:47am / Kids

Today, my boyfriend told me he had to go pick up his family from the airport. I assumed he meant his parents. He apologized and said he meant his wife and child. They'd got their visa sooner than he'd thought. FML

by Username / 03/09/2011 at 5:04am / Love

Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML

by Anonymous / 03/09/2011 at 4:52am / India (Karnataka) / Kids

Today, my boyfriend called me and dumped me. Thirty minutes later he called asking for me back. When I asked why, he said "The other girl dumped me." FML

by life_isnt_fair / 03/09/2011 at 3:27am / United States (Kentucky) / Love