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  • - Concept : An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was enjoying my last day of Spring Break in Panama City. I got up to dance on the stage at the Holiday Inn in front of hundreds of college kids. I tried to be sexy by turning around and bending over. My friends took pictures and my bloody tampon string was hanging out the whole time. FML

#470055
283 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28953) - you deserved it (73229)

On 03/19/2009 at 5:10pm - intimacy - by LindseyS (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today, at 4:00 a.m., I woke up and realized that I had thrown an expensive gift certificate for a friend in the garbage. Since it was garbage day, I ran out in the rain in my pajamas and rifled through all three bags of garbage. Twice. I found the gift certificate. It was in my pocket. FML

#469671
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (20817) - you deserved it (5760)

On 03/19/2009 at 4:47pm - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, when I was at the gynecologist my dr told me that I was really tense and the exam would be impossible if I didnt relax. So I started thinking about my boyfriend to relax and my mind went back to our last sex session. I started getting wet. FML

#467270
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16947) - you deserved it (51771)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:10pm - intimacy - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (North Carolina)

Today, I texted my girlfriend, saying how I hated my job, I felt trapped, and that I was wasting my time working there. A few minutes later, she answered, "That's how I feel about our relationship." FML

#465051
56 comments

I agree, your life sucks (61713) - you deserved it (5673)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:43pm - love - by Ineverknew (man) - United States (Illinois)

Today, I had just reached in my purse without looking and to grab a granola bar at work why my boss walked in my office. We were talking for a few minutes as he kept giving me strange looks and looking at my hand. He left and I realize I hadn't taken a granola bar out, but a tampon instead. FML

#464994
83 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16434) - you deserved it (33992)

On 03/19/2009 at 12:41pm - work - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (Connecticut)

Today, I got a call from a girl I know, asking if i could babysit her little brother at my house tonight. I said yes. When the boy came over he mentioned that his sister was having a party and didn't want him there. Turns out all my friends were invited except me. FML

#464379
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (70728) - you deserved it (2983)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:51am - misc - by Anonymous (woman) - United States (California)

Today, we were hanging around the pool with a couple of friends and a crush of mine. Thinking I would be able to impress her with a well performed dive of the diving board, I go up and attempt my best dive. I slip just as I jump and hit my head on the board. I had to be saved by the lifeguard. FML

#464329
64 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19672) - you deserved it (47333)

On 03/19/2009 at 11:47am - love - by Fish (man) - United Arab Emirates (Dubai)

Today, I decided to surprise my boyfriend at his college and when I walked into the dorm he was lying in his bed with another girl. When he saw me he simply said, "April Fool's!" It's March 19th. FML

#461201
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (117287) - you deserved it (6253)

On 03/19/2009 at 3:40am - intimacy - by cmerr (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, I learned I made the dean's honor list for my college for the first time since attending. I asked my dad if he was proud of me, to which he replied, "when you're as successful as your brother, I'll be proud." My brother is a Chippendale's dancer. FML

Today, my boyfriend and I were at his house having sex. After about 30 minutes, his mom came home and was knocking on the door asking "What are you doing?" Thinking I might have a chance to sneak out, I got dressed real quiet. Then my boyfriend answers, "Zoe. I'm doing Zoe." FML

#459925
141 comments

I agree, your life sucks (72002) - you deserved it (11575)

On 03/19/2009 at 2:05am - intimacy - by Zoe123 (woman) - United States (Texas)

Today, I saw a video in class about women aged 65+ and their sex lives. An elderly, blind woman was having sex at her senior's home. I don't know what's worse, watching an hour-long documentary on this, or the fact that these women are having way more sex than I am. FML

#459732
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (73086) - you deserved it (7617)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:46am - intimacy - by notenoughsex (woman) - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got a phone call, and the person on the other line started speaking French. I assumed it was my friend since we usually speak French with each other, so I said in French "What do you want, asshole?". It wasn't my friend. It was a representative for the exchange program I'm applying for. FML

#459140
85 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12097) - you deserved it (71613)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:17am - misc - by Anonymous - United States (California)

Today, I slept over at my friend's house but forgot my glasses. When I woke up in the morning, I came out of his room and forcefully kicked what I thought was a soccer ball on the floor. Turns out it was his miniature poodle - it fell down a long flight of stairs. FML

#459087
277 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23256) - you deserved it (81314)

On 03/19/2009 at 1:15am - misc - by JohnMackSquirts (man) - United States (California)



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