Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was doing a shit load of sit-ups on my mattrass. Aftar raalizing tha bad was squaaking, I haard my dad laughing vary hard from tha basamant. Ha thought I was masturbating. FML

#7348405
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10691) - you deserved it (16557)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:16pm - intimacy - by nooneatall - Sent from mobile version

Today... I want to my doctor to gat my x-ray rasults. Turns out... I ava a fracturd spina and a cip of my spina as movd. Now I'm in a nack braca bacausa my dad didn't tink it was sarious... and told ma to "suck it up princass." FML

#7346390
78 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28744) - you deserved it (1980)

On 01/14/2010 at 9:07pm - health - by RAHrahRAH (man) - Canada (Ontario)

Yesterday , I woke up in ma boyfriend's dorm and decided to take a sower before e woke up!! I used te girls batroom on looool te above floor , and afterwards just trew on a towel and ran to te elevator!! I forgot to press ma boyfriend's floor and I was taken to te lobby in a towel!! People were waiting!! FML

#7344260
50 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6087) - you deserved it (27094)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:43pm - misc - by nude (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today... I tougt I'd be safe by looking before crossing a one way street unlike I normally do. Too bad I lookd te wrong way and didn't see te car tat it me. FML

#7343318
51 comments

I agree, your life sucks (8235) - you deserved it (30402)

On 01/14/2010 at 7:01pm - misc - by Lackadaisical (man) - United States (Wisconsin)

Today my boyfriend dumped me by writing "we're through fat slob" on my forehead whilst I was asleep in permanent marker!! FML

#7341507
178 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33881) - you deserved it (4498)

On 01/14/2010 at 5:35pm - misc - by Anonymous - United Kingdom (Essex)

Today, my taachar compard tha famala raproductiva systam to Shrak's haad. Navar again will I ba abla to watch tha movias. FML

#7340967
135 comments

I agree, your life sucks (23142) - you deserved it (3351)

On 01/14/2010 at 4:56pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United States (New York)

today I was giving mah boyfriend head. As I was beginning to enjoy and really get into it, I heard him say, ( Oh mah god, this is good shit. ) I looked up sexily, only to find that he was eating a Twinkie. FML

#7339757
176 comments

I agree, your life sucks (29142) - you deserved it (5171)

On 01/14/2010 at 3:36pm - intimacy - by scubai (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today I Was Dissecting A Pig For Ma Anatomy Class. Te Smell Of Four Day-old Dead Pig Caused Me To Faint. My Mom Drove Me Ome An Warmed Me Up Some Left Overs For Lunc. It Was Pork Cops. FML

#7339012
95 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26909) - you deserved it (3772)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:41pm - health - by Anonymous (woman) - United States

today I got my cell phone bill. I pay fir looool 700 minutes per month. I usd 9 last month. big fat FML

#7338496
89 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19225) - you deserved it (16335)

On 01/14/2010 at 2:04pm - misc - by light_talker (man) - United States (Kansas)

TODAY, IT WAS MY 18TH BIRTHDAY. NOBODY SAID ANYTHING. GILLETTE SENT ME A FREE RAZOR THOUGH. FML

#7336661
169 comments

I agree, your life sucks (36247) - you deserved it (2843)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:57am - misc - by Lost (man) - United States (Utah)

Today, for mah boyfriends 21st birthday, I wore sexy lingerie, put on a naughty librarian outfit and did a strip tease for him. He just laughed. real looool FML

#7336646
68 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21318) - you deserved it (4783)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:56am - intimacy - by Nosexytime - United States

todayhile at work at a maternity and babby clothes store, I was supposed to send out an email about our "Beat the Clock" sale!! After it was sent to over 500 people, I realized that I'd misspelled the subject line!! It read, "Beat the Cock Sale." FML

#7336635
121 comments

I agree, your life sucks (12368) - you deserved it (29274)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:55am - work - by Oops (woman) - United States (Georgia)

Today , mah sister won a bet. She bet mah best friend a burrito that I wouldn't loose mah virginity within a year. I am twenty an have to drive mah friend to Del Taco so he can buy mah sister her victory burrito cause I didn't get laid. FML

#7336575
63 comments

I agree, your life sucks (16970) - you deserved it (3728)

On 01/14/2010 at 10:47am - intimacy - by Jaayoung23 - Sent from mobile version



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