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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, I was running late for work and realized I forgot to pay a bill. I turned on my computer to pay the bill and brushed my teeth while it set up. I had a mouth full of mouthwash and decided to pay the bill before I spit. Then, I sneezed mouthwash all over my laptop keyboard and screen. FML

#8706318
49 comments

I agree, your life sucks (7505) - you deserved it (24623)

On 02/28/2010 at 12:19am - misc - by atleastmybreathisfresh (woman) - United States (Ohio)

This FML has been commented on by its original poster.

Today, my hamster went missing. I walked down the stairs into my basement, to find my hamster's head on the stairs, and its body in my cat's mouth. FML

Today, I discovered that my abusive, obsessive, psychotic ex-boyfriend from over two years ago still has a thing for me. How did I find out? Although I've ignored him walking unnecessarily past my house for the past two months, it was hard to ignore when he fell from a tree outside my window. FML

#8704782
186 comments

I agree, your life sucks (34564) - you deserved it (2432)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:30pm - love - by sacrophage (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, after a particularly gruesome nightmare about spiders due to my irrational phobia, I decided to try and desensitise myself by googling 'house spiders'. I can't stop the feeling of something crawling over every inch of my body, but at least I now know they can live up to six years. FML

#8700237
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17968) - you deserved it (6408)

On 02/27/2010 at 9:03pm - health - by joolsie (woman) - United Kingdom (York)

Today, feeling down and dejected because of the shitty weather and none of my friends or family wanting to spend time with me to feel loved I took my favorite stuffed animal and that says 'I love you' when you squeeze it. I squeezed it. Nothing happened. Even an inanimate object rejected me. FML

#8699451
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26968) - you deserved it (6293)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:32pm - love - by dejected (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, at my volleyball tournament I was extremely pumped to start playing so I went to take my sweats off and everybody began to stare at me then I looked down to come to realize I had no spandex on, just a thong. FML

#8698914
174 comments

I agree, your life sucks (10132) - you deserved it (28681)

On 02/27/2010 at 8:11pm - misc - by volleyballgirl - United States

Today, I am expected to write an 8 page essay, due tonight. The reason why I don't even have one page yet? My mom decided to take away the only computer I have the essay saved on because I have an 'F' in English. The essay is for English. FML

#8693763
256 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27871) - you deserved it (6950)

On 02/27/2010 at 4:28pm - health - by atmac95 - United States (South Carolina)

Today, I arrived at work to find an email from the manager whom I had bought concert tickets from the night before. He said he had actually sold those tickets to someone else. He still expects to be paid. FML

#8692922
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24594) - you deserved it (2165)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:45pm - work - by mcfaily - Canada (British Columbia)

Today, I got sent out of the class for "inappropriate" behaviour. The teacher later forgot about me and sent a notice home to my parents stating that I skipped class. FML

#8691974
98 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27140) - you deserved it (6828)

On 02/27/2010 at 3:04pm - misc - by shnigel - United States (Oklahoma)

Today, I brought my best friend to my uncle's birthday party. We were having a great time until my grandmother walked up to us and said to me, "You sure have a nice looking boyfriend." My friend is a girl. She has cancer and lost all of her hair due to chemotherapy. FML

#8690586
163 comments

I agree, your life sucks (39205) - you deserved it (2090)

On 02/27/2010 at 2:03pm - health - by hairplease (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my boss told me that if I didn't become his neighbor on Farmville I wouldn't have a job. I laughed. He didn't. FML

#8687121
149 comments

I agree, your life sucks (30308) - you deserved it (2562)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:07am - work - by Anon - United States

Today, my boyfriend and I were asleep. Evidently, he was dreaming about being a UFC fighter, because, out of no where, he grabs the back of my head and punches me in the nose. I haven't been able to breathe right out of my nose all day. FML

#8687085
138 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27131) - you deserved it (2844)

On 02/27/2010 at 11:06am - misc - by anonymous - United States

Today, my parents bought a new car with the money they made from selling mine. To make up for selling my car without telling me, they let me choose the make, model, and colour of the new car... which I just found out I'm not allowed to drive. FML



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