Submit your FML story

  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Man or woman?

Today, my friend bet everyone at my lunch table that no one could catch the fly that was flying around our table. I reached up and caught it. It was a wasp, and it stung me. FML

#10752650
65 comments

I agree, your life sucks (14052) - you deserved it (32746)

On 05/25/2010 at 8:32am - health - by Username - Sent from mobile version

Today, I came home on leave after a seven month deployment in the middle of the ocean for the Navy. My entire region got hit by the worst flood in recorded history. I need a speedboat to go to the Quick-e-mart. FML

#10751307
82 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33612) - you deserved it (2605)

On 05/25/2010 at 5:29am - work - by Jimbo (man) - United States (Armed Forces Pacific)

Today, I leaned back and bumped into one of my mom's plants in the window. The good thing was that I caught it before it fell and shattered. The bad thing was that my mom likes to keep cactii in the window. I can still feel thorns I haven't managed to pluck out yet. FML

#10750179
70 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27319) - you deserved it (4234)

On 05/25/2010 at 2:54am - love - by Ouchhh (man) - United States (California)

Today, I saw a video of me from over the weekend, naked, pretending to be a duck. What the fuck happened that night? FML

#10748926
94 comments

I agree, your life sucks (18858) - you deserved it (54059)

On 05/25/2010 at 1:18am - intimacy - by laurenraeee - United States (Utah)

Today, I discovered that my boyfriend has a YouTube channel devoted to taking the camera out whenever he has to fart. FML

#10748439
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27959) - you deserved it (4028)

On 05/25/2010 at 12:55am - misc - by alyssac11 - United States (Michigan)

Today, my little sister tripped when trying to walk up the stairs with a sandwich in one hand and my laptop in the other. She choose to save her sandwich instead of my £500 laptop. FML

#10748228
42 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26413) - you deserved it (3220)

On 05/25/2010 at 12:44am - misc - by Laptop - Sent from mobile version

Today, I went to visit my parents after 4 years of not seeing them. They moved without telling me. FML

#10733987
131 comments

I agree, your life sucks (33137) - you deserved it (18746)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:12pm - misc - by Anonymous - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I found out I have dandruff when a chick passed by and said out loud to her friends: "That dude's hair is having an early Xmas!" FML

#10733187
88 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25710) - you deserved it (6377)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14pm - health - by Dandruff - Sent from mobile version

Today, while sitting at a red light, my mother asks "Do you have any intimacy questions?" FML

#10732441
119 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35908) - you deserved it (4792)

On 05/24/2010 at 11:14am - intimacy - by weirdedout (woman) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, I went on a first date, where my date managed to fall in a creek, take me to his house and measure my height, show me family pictures, and perform the Soulja Boy dance in his living room. All while wearing swim trunks because his pants were drying and he didn't have extras. FML

#10727772
247 comments

I agree, your life sucks (32667) - you deserved it (7248)

On 05/24/2010 at 2:13am - love - by gedderdunn - Reserved

Today, I was putting a wooden shelf into my new TV stand. Right before I put it in, I rested it on my leg. I then realized that the wood was of poor quality, and it gave me splinters. Now, I can't remove the splinters, because I can't find their exact location under my really hairy legs. FML

#10726824
84 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19973) - you deserved it (8467)

On 05/24/2010 at 1:21am - misc - by HairyLeggedItalian (man) - United States (Arizona)

Today, finally we got our toddler daughter to sleep in her own bed. The wife and I were both excited to finally have our room to ourselves. Just as our daughter was about to fall asleep, the damn cat went into her room and loudly hacked up a huge hairball. Now she's back in mommy's and daddy's bed. FML

#10725342
160 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28657) - you deserved it (6495)

On 05/24/2010 at 12:14am - kids - by blahblah - United States (New York)

Today, I have both a cold and a period. Tomorrow, I will have a cold, my period and my wisdom teeth taken out. FML

#10719065
146 comments

I agree, your life sucks (48216) - you deserved it (3501)

On 05/23/2010 at 8:22pm - misc - by Unlucky (woman) - Australia (Victoria)



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