by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 7:51pm / United States / Health
by Canuckster / 07/10/2011 at 5:41pm / Canada (Ontario) / Miscellaneous
goshpeople's comment : That happened to my sister ten minutes ago.
Today, I came home after having traveled abroad for the last two months. Before I left, I'd asked my dad to take care of my fish, and he promised they'd be safe with him. I found them all decomposing. FML
by worstfatherever / 07/10/2011 at 4:54pm / United States / Animals
by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 3:21pm / United States (Georgia) / Miscellaneous
hidingout777's comment : Have super loud sex!
by Mary / 07/10/2011 at 8:49am / United States / Love
by ugly / 07/10/2011 at 2:03am / United States (New York) / Transportation
Today, after finally sleeping with a girl for the first time in I don't know how long, at some point during sex she managed to completely crush my balls. I acted cool until she left, then I had to wake my parents up at 3 a.m. to take me to the hospital where I was diagnosed testicular bruising. FML
by Anonymous / 07/10/2011 at 12:18am / United States (Florida) / Intimacy
allmidnighteyes's comment : My favourite part is how she just left when you guys were done. You didn't have to pay for that sex, right? I can't imagine what runs through a hooker's mind when you tell her, "Don't wake my parents..."
Today, I was tanning by the pool. My friend put his arms under my back and knees and picked me up. He threw me across the kiddy pool to my boyfriend, shouting "Catch!" My boyfriend didn't catch me. Instead of a tan, I have a huge bruise. FML
by ilovedirt / 07/09/2011 at 11:12pm / United States (Oklahoma) / Health
by Lame / 07/09/2011 at 8:19pm / United States (New York) / Money
Today, I went to the park with a girl I like. She got playful and climbed a tree, insisting I come up, too. While we were sitting and enjoying the view, she suddenly knocked me off the branch, sending me crashing to the ground. FML
by wolf boy / 07/09/2011 at 8:13pm / United States (Connecticut) / Love
Today, marks the seventh day of having my nose pierced. I'd done everything I was supposed to do, even sleeping with a band-aid over it. This morning, I woke up to my piercing being ripped out by my pillow, and the band-aid nowhere in sight. FML
by meggiemouse / 07/09/2011 at 2:00pm / United States (North Carolina) / Health
by Beanzbeanz / 07/09/2011 at 11:19am / Canada (Ontario) / Love
by iGreen / 07/09/2011 at 10:34am / Canada (Ontario) / Animals