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  • - Concept: An anecdote always starts with Today and ends with FML. There are no taboo subjects, feel free to express yourself.
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Today, my roommate and I finally went to the DMV to transfer our vehicle ownership title to our names. On our way out, we joked that we were now responsible for any violations involving our car. We came back to a $35 parking ticket. FML

#9040800
77 comments

I agree, your life sucks (6010) - you deserved it (19239)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:17am - misc - by loki (woman) - United States (Washington)

Today, I bitched out my boyfriend for logging into my facebook account and deleting EVERY male (even family) off my friends list. He accused me of wanting to cheat on him and has forced me to say "sorry." FML

#9040690
420 comments

I agree, your life sucks (35561) - you deserved it (16224)

On 03/13/2010 at 4:03am - love - by amber - United States (Arkansas)

jerseystreetking's comment : and you're with him because?

See all the comments →

Today, I was on a first date. When the bill came, he refused to pay for my $6 salad. I had to go ATM-hunting to pay for my $6 salad. FML

#9039407
338 comments

I agree, your life sucks (28755) - you deserved it (10715)

On 03/13/2010 at 2:18am - love - by wolfwolfy (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I woke up in pajamas I have never seen before. Usually, I sleep naked, and I live alone in a locked apartment. Then, the elderly woman next door asked for her nightgown back. Apparently, I sleep-walked and knocked on all the doors in my hallway repeatedly. I'm moving. FML

#9037500
115 comments

I agree, your life sucks (27762) - you deserved it (3844)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:27am - misc - by nerdygirl101 (woman) - United States (New Jersey)

Today, my new anti-social cat started rubbing on my leg. I thought she must be warming up to me. Then, I looked at my leg and saw she smeared poo all over my work pants. FML

#9037311
79 comments

I agree, your life sucks (24984) - you deserved it (3060)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:18am - animals - by Brinty (woman) - Australia (New South Wales)

Today, my iPod came back from repair and still had a distorted sound. I've been through calls, meetings, and repairs with Apple since Christmas, and it still sounds like the half speaker in my old car. Then I found out the new Nano requires you to push the headphones plug in harder. FML

#9037233
120 comments

I agree, your life sucks (5417) - you deserved it (38085)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:16am - misc - by EwokLover17 (man) - United States (California)

Today, I was at my boyfriend's apartment, when I came across a lacy black thong in the laundry. When confronted, he swore it was his. I don't know what's worse, the possibility that another woman left it there, or the idea that my boyfriend owns and wears women's lingerie. FML

#9037172
111 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26360) - you deserved it (2693)

On 03/13/2010 at 12:14am - love - by botharebad (woman) - Canada (Ontario)

Today, I was telling my sister about the stupid sorts of questions I get asked at work. She looked at me and said "I give you five years until you turn into a raging, chain-smoking corporate bitch." My mom agreed. FML

#9031003
34 comments

I agree, your life sucks (19262) - you deserved it (3888)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:23pm - work - by ams (woman) - United States (Missouri)

Today, my girlfriend got into a huge fight with her mom over the phone. After the fight, she looked ready to cry so I went over to comfort her. She went straight past me, and started confiding in her creepy, extremely expensive dolls instead. FML

#9030368
101 comments

I agree, your life sucks (26445) - you deserved it (2680)

On 03/12/2010 at 8:00pm - love - by Anonymous (man) - United States (Texas)

Today, after going to the doctor to have him look at a rash on my man bits, I asked him how to get rid of the redness. He shrugged and said: "Don't worry, nobody will see it other than you and me." He's right. FML

#9029398
90 comments

I agree, your life sucks (21946) - you deserved it (2546)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:19pm - intimacy - by argh (man) - United States (Massachusetts)

Today, my new neighbours came over to introduce themselves. I open the door to see my ex-husband, with a horrified look on his face, and his girlfriend. FML

#9029119
100 comments

I agree, your life sucks (31333) - you deserved it (1903)

On 03/12/2010 at 7:08pm - love - by abby0019 - Sent from mobile version

Today, I spent all day and last night in the bathroom. The seafood I'd been keeping in the refrigerator apparently had gone bad, and is now intent on finding its every possible route to the Great Porcelain Whirlpool. FML

#9026047
128 comments

I agree, your life sucks (17742) - you deserved it (7607)

On 03/12/2010 at 4:44pm - health - by Anonymous (man) - United Kingdom (Cambridgeshire)

Today, I landed in Hawaii for my vacation. I have a really bad ear infection, and to top my day off, my girlfriend blurted out mid-flight that she thinks we're not going to work out. Aloha! FML

#9025473
117 comments

I agree, your life sucks (25690) - you deserved it (1778)

On 03/12/2010 at 4:17pm - love - by aloha - Sent from mobile version



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