Miss bangalore, india Single
Today, I woke up to an angry snake trying to climb the leg of my bed. My bedroom was closed all day yesterday. It must have gotten in my room days ago. FML
Today, I found out the guy I've been crushing on for many years thinks he's a werewolf. FML
Today, I was talking to my co-workers about how I've sadly been an orphan since an early age. One of them exclaimed, "Hey, just like Batman!" FML
Today, my husband informed me that he has been purposely finishing before me in bed as a form of punishment for beating him at Mario Kart. FML
Today, my boyfriend cuffed my legs to the bed. After the sex we discovered one of the cuffs wouldn't open. After an hour of trying to pry them open, I had to waddle with him to the fire station to have them removed in front of 4 amused firefighters. FML
Today, my boyfriend and I were making love. I was really close to climaxing, when he suddenly stopped, smirked, and said, "Hang on, I'm buffering." FML
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
Today, my four-year-old daughter started screaming and lashing out at me as I was getting her ready for a bath. It seems my idiot husband told her she was still small enough to be feasted on by the "drain monster". FML
Today, the Star Wars Cantina song had been stuck in my head since I woke up, as my brother was humming it. I finally managed to get it out of my head. Then my mom started to whistle it. It's stuck in my head again. FML
Today, I was broken up with via a cereal analogy. Apparently, I'm a Cheerio and all he wants is a Froot Loop. FML
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