Rockeister, USA 36 years-old
Today, my sister drove past me while I was walking home in the rain. She honked to let me know she was there, and kept on driving. FML
Today, my house got robbed. They left a note: "Next time, we steal your souls." FML
Today, my pet fish died because my drunk father microwaved it. FML
Today, my 5 year old fish died. As I was flushing him, he started swimming again. FML
Today, after recently moving to America as I've always dreamt of, I saw my first, majestic deer. My boyfriend slammed it with the rental car. FML
Today, my friend and his girlfriend got in a fight while drunk and he started walking home. While driving around looking for him, I accidentally hit him with my car. FML
Today, Santa ran over my foot with a Segway. FML
Today, I tried to find myself a friend on Craigslist. FML
Today, I was sitting at the mall food court, and wearing a "Blink If You Want Me" shirt. A guy walked by, saw my shirt, and made a point of holding a staring contest with me before moving on. FML
Today, I was woken up by a call from "the Nuisance Call Prevention Registry". The lady on the telephone didn't see the irony. FML
Today, my coworker was talking to me about how there's always that one person in a group of friends that everyone secretly dislikes and laughs at. I realized that person is me. FML
Today, I asked my dad why there were no photos of me on the wall. He replied, "Every time you disappoint us we burn one." FML
Today, I asked my boyfriend if he would still love me if I became a vegetable. His response: "Well, the sex wouldn't be any different." FML
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