jgoaway

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Jgoaway's favorite FMLs

By ak. - 02/03/2009 21:26 - United States

Today, I was laying with my girlfriend on the couch. I looked at her and said, "You're so beautiful. How did I ever get you?" She replied, "I was drunk." FML

agreeclassic 64 709

vote type 1 11 372

By Anonymous - 12/01/2014 06:38 - Australia - Boondall

Today, after his sixth beer, my dad looked me in the eye and said "I've never forgiven you for what you did to your mother's vagina". FML

agreeclassic 62 139

vote type 1 6 224

Dumbass

By O-|---<=~ - 18/10/2013 23:01 - United States - Bellingham

Today, my otherwise lovely boyfriend of a month showed his true colors. He freaked out when he learned that I use tampons instead of pads. He yelled that using them is like cheating on him, because his penis is the only thing that should ever enter me. FML

agreeclassic 60 944

vote type 1 5 685

By /(•'_'•)\ - 07/09/2013 16:59 - United States - Ballwin

Today, while working at Subway, I was about to take a guy's order. He quickly held up a hand and asked for someone else to make his sub, because he doesn't like "ugly people" touching his food. FML

agreeclassic 56 924

vote type 1 3 847

By countryblumpkin - 01/08/2013 18:06 - United States - Grand Rapids

Today, my husband begged me to go down on him while he sat on the toilet, taking a crap. He tried to convince me that we'd both somehow experience mind-blowing orgasms. FML

agreeclassic 66 119

vote type 1 7 172