Today, I found out just how close my boyfriend has been getting to our new neighbour's teenage son. I came home from work to find them on my bed and my "straight" boyfriend head down ass up. FML
Today, I was drinking from a water fountain. I bent over to sip the water and felt a HUGE slap on my ass. Completely confused, I turn around to see some guy with a horrified look on his face. Apparently he thought I was his girlfriend. Then I saw his girlfriend standing behind him, giving me the evil eye. FML
Today, while stuck in a traffic jam, my son silently changed my gear to reverse. FML
Today, my boyfriend of almost two years and I broke up. Earlier, we scheduled our classes for senior year to match perfectly. Can't wait. FML
Today, I was at the water park, when I slipped and fell to the ground in front of the no running sign. I was walking. FML
Today, while making dinner I cut my finger badly with a knife. When I yelled for my dad to drive me to the hospital, he accused me of lying to get attention. He had to taste my blood before he decided it wasn't red-colored corn syrup. FML
Today, I walked into the bathroom only to see my boyfriend sitting on the floor eating ice cream, crying. I'd say I was shocked, but this isn't the first time it's happened. FML
Today, I was at a party with my crush. The collar on his shirt was sticking up so I fixed it for him. He gave me a hug and said, "Aww you're so good to me. You're like my mother. You can be my college mother." I got mother-zoned. FML
Today, I met my girlfriend's parents for the first time. In the entrance way I felt a slight tugging on my jeans. Used to my Doberman tugging when he wants to play, I shoved hard with my foot. I successfully punted their Chihuahua off the ground and into the next room where it landed with a thud. FML
Today, my little sister chased me around the house with a mallet, giggling like a maniac. I ended up having to pin her to the ground, rip the mallet out of her hand and lock her in the bathroom. This isn't the first time. My mom still insists it's perfectly normal. FML
Feel like sharing it with the other FML users?
Thanks, your FML was submitted, and will appear in the moderation queue soon!
